This Moody Bastard Read online

  Suncoast Society

  This Moody Bastard

  Another holiday, another Suncoast Society party. But what’s troubling Cali, Sean, and Max? Can a kinky Easter egg hunt snap them out of it? As their friends gather once more, the triad puts on a united front and a happy face. While they remember to count their blessings, will the future finally come into clear focus?

  Unicorn photo shoots, rainbow rope, and getting their cat, Baxter, stoned on catnip are all on the agenda. It doesn’t hurt that they finally get to see Karma in all its splendid glory giving them the good kind of cosmic payback for a change.

  They know they’re lucky. Now, all they have to do is keep reminding themselves of that fact.

  Genre: BDSM, Contemporary, Ménage

  Length: 25,122 words

  THIS MOODY BASTARD

  Suncoast Society

  Tymber Dalton

  

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK

  THIS MOODY BASTARD

  Copyright © 2017 by Tymber Dalton

  ISBN: 978-1-64010-280-4

  First Publication: May 2017

  Cover design by Harris Channing

  All art and logo copyright © 2017 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

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  PUBLISHER

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  DEDICATION

  For Hubby and Sir. And my “helpful” friends who give me ideas all the time just by living their lives and having fun. Love you all!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Tymber Dalton is the wild-child alter-ego of author Lesli Richardson. She lives in the Tampa Bay region of Florida with her husband (aka “The World’s Best Husband™”) and too many pets. Active in the BDSM lifestyle, the two-time EPIC award winner is also the bestselling author of over one hundred books, including The Reluctant Dom, The Denim Dom, Cardinal’s Rule, the Suncoast Society series, the Love Slave for Two series, the Triple Trouble series, the Coffeeshop Coven series, the Good Will Ghost Hunting series, the Drunk Monkeys series, and many more.

  She loves to hear from readers! Please feel free to drop by her website and sign up for updates to keep abreast of the latest news, views, snarkage, and releases. You can also find all of her Siren-BookStrand releases under all four of her pen names on her author page on the BookStrand site.

  www.tymberdalton.com

  www.facebook.com/tymberdalton

  www.facebook.com/groups/TymbersTrybe

  www.twitter.com/TymberDalton

  For all titles by Tymber Dalton, please visit

  www.bookstrand.com/tymber-dalton

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Max, Sean, and Cali’s story is first told in Crafty Bastards [Suncoast Society 12], and there is a continuation in Kinko de Mayo [Suncoast Society 21] and Happy Spank Patrick’s Day [Suncoast Society 47]. They also appear in several other books as secondary characters, especially the “party” books. You don’t have to read those books to understand the events in this one, however.

  Chronologically, this book opens a few days after Happy Spank Patrick’s Day and overlaps with the timeframe and events in Pretzel Logic [Suncoast Society 49].

  While all the books in the Suncoast Society series are standalone works which may be read independently of each other, the recommended reading order to avoid spoilers and to not miss any backstory information is as follows:

  1. Safe Harbor

  2. Cardinal’s Rule

  3. Domme by Default

  4. The Reluctant Dom

  5. The Denim Dom

  6. Pinch Me

  7. Broken Toy

  8. A Clean Sweep

  9. A Roll of the Dice

  10. His Canvas

  11. A Lovely Shade of Ouch

  12. Crafty Bastards

  13. A Merry Little Kinkmas

  14. Sapiosexual

  15. A Very Kinky Valentine’s Day

  16. Things Made Right

  17. Click

  18. Spank or Treat

  19. A Turn of the Screwed

  20. Chains

  21. Kinko de Mayo

  22. Broken Arrow

  23. Out of the Spotlight

  24. Friends Like These

  25. Vicious Carousel

  26. Hot Sauce

  27. Open Doors

  28. One Ring

  29. Vulnerable

  30. The Strength of the Pack

  31. Initiative

  32. Impact

  33. Liability

  34. Switchy

  35. Rhymes With Orange

  36. Beware Falling Ice

  37. Beware Falling Rocks

  38. Dangerous Curves Ahead

  39. Two Against Nature

  40. Home at Last

  41. A Kinkmas Carol

  42. Ask DNA

  43. Time Out of Mind

  44. Happy Valenkink’s Day

  45. Splendid Isolation

  46. Similar to Rain

  47. Happy Spank Patrick’s Day

  48. Fire in the Hole

  49. Pretzel Logic

  50. This Moody Bastard

  Some of the characters in this book appear in or are featured in previous books in the Suncoast Society series. All titles available from Siren-BookStrand.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  About the Author

  Author's Note

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Landmarks

  Cover

  THIS MOODY BASTARD

  Suncoast Society

  TYMBER DALTON

  Copyright © 2017

  Chapter One

  An e-mail sent out by Tony Daniels to specially selected members of the Suncoast Society munch group just days after the Spank Patrick’s Day party at Max, Sean, and Cali’s house:

  March 20…

  Dear Friends,

  Because they are apparently three masochists, Max, Sean, and Cali have already volunteered to host a Kinky (Vibrating) Eggstravaganza Party. (Hey, you try to find a kinky version of “Happy Easter” and see how easy you think it is.) For those of you counting, yes, that’s two big parties in a row.

  You and your significant (or non-significant) other(s) are invited. Dress up (or undress) for a sexy night of kinky festivities, fun, and frivolity.

  Despite Cali’s vociferous protests (but she didn’t safeword), Sean’s apparently going to hold a kinky Easter egg hunt. (Not sure I want to know where he’s hiding them…) Details will be provided upon arrival. Anyone who wants to donate prizes, big or small, please contact him ASAP (e-mail included at the bottom). There won’t be a rigging
contest this time, but we will have a suspension frame available.

  The event takes place Saturday, April 22nd. (Yes, the week after Easter. We’re not that sadistic.)

  RSVP to Tony BEFORE Monday, April 17th. Directions and parking instructions will be sent to those who RSVP on Tuesday, April 18th.

  Arrive after 6:00 p.m.

  Dinner will be at 7:00 p.m.

  Stay and play until ???

  There is a heated pool and a hot tub. If you’d like to use them, bring a towel and a bathing suit. The towel is mandatory, but the suit is optional.

  Please bring a side dish to share, and beverages of your choice. There will be a main barbecue dish provided (beef and chicken).

  HOUSE RULES:

  1) Please arrive in non-fetish attire. The neighbors are very vanilla and we do not want to upset their peaceful world.

  2) Dress for a sexy barbecue. If you want to change (or strip) after dark for sexy play, that’s okay, too.

  3) Don’t bring uninvited guests (we usually say yes if you want to add someone, but please ask first), and please don’t talk about the party to anyone not on the guest list.

  4) NO drugs. No smoking inside (outside on lanai ONLY in designated area).

  5) Alcohol is allowed, but you must bring your own and play responsibly.

  6) Please leave the parking spaces near the house free for people bringing play furniture. If you wish to bring play furniture, please coordinate with Max, Sean, or Tony. Due to street parking, please pay attention to the parking instructions that will be included in the confirmation e-mail.

  7) No flushing anything down the toilet that isn’t toilet paper or didn’t come from inside your…

  Chapter Two

  “No, Sean, we are not Photoshopping you onto the website header dressed as a dancing Jesus.”

  “But, babe! We could duplicate it, different poses, and I could be seven dancing Jesuses!” He scowled. “Jesusi?”

  Cali took a deep breath. “Jesus, I cannot believe I actually have to say these words to you, but no, we are not dressing you up as a kinky dancing Jesus and putting you on the website header for Easter. Period.”

  He stood before her, dressed in a leather jock, leather chest harness, wrist and ankle cuffs, and a leather collar.

  Oh, and a Jesus wig, beard, and mustache.

  With a pair of fake bunny ears perched on top of that, along with a bunny tail. The bunny ears were on backward.

  She didn’t want to know how he had the tail attached.

  This was already turning out to be a humdinger of a Saturday morning at Two Crafty Bastards Toys.

  Or, in other words, any normal Saturday with Sean.

  “But babe, it’d be hysterical!” He started doing a dance that looked like the drunken bastard love child of the Mashed Potato and the Moonwalk.

  “No, Sean! If we’re going to alienate half our client base by being that sacrilegious, we might as well put up a header that says, ‘Happy Zombie Jesus Day.’”

  As his blue eyes widened, along with his smile, she let out a frustrated groan. “No, Sean, we absolutely are not putting ‘Happy Zombie Jesus Day’ on our website header. No. Red.”

  He pouted. “It’d be funny.”

  She pointed at her face. “Does this look like my funny expression?”

  “It looks like a damned good Grumpy Cat imitation, to be honest.”

  “I was hoping to get laid tonight,” Max said from where he leaned his long and lanky frame against the office doorway, his arms crossed. “You piss her off, Sean, and I’m locking you in chastity for a week and fucking your ass.”

  She jabbed a finger at Sean. “You pushed me to the limit with that last damn Easter stunt you pulled. We agreed that I am the website producer. I get control, I get the final say. We will do an Easter shoot, but I haven’t decided exactly what yet. I did order some special pastel rainbow-dyed rope, though. I think it’ll look neat.” She pointed to the box in the corner of the office, which had arrived yesterday afternoon.

  His eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say so?”

  “Because you didn’t ask me, that’s why. You’d think you’d learn by now that instead of dumping stuff on me at the last minute, you should, oh, I don’t know, talk to me about it first.”

  Max snorted. “Busted.”

  Sean looked over his shoulder. “Hey, you said it sounded funny.”

  “I also said you needed to discuss it with her first.”

  “I am discussing it with her.”

  “No, you’re trying to dump it on her.” Max pushed off the doorframe and walked over, pointing at the headband. “Your bunny ears are on backward.”

  “Dammit,” Sean muttered. He took the headband off and put it back on the right way.

  “I agree, dancing Jesuses on the website is a no-go,” Max said.

  “Again, you said it was funny.” Sean was definitely working on a full-on pout.

  “It is funny. But I never said we should do it. There are a lot of things I think are hysterical that I know have no place on the website header.”

  Cali leaned back in her office chair. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d have to add dancing Jesuses to my hard-limit list.”

  Max fist-bumped her. “Word.”

  * * * *

  “Did Ethan say how Brita’s doing?” Cali asked Essie.

  “She’s hanging in there. I mean, she was a cop, so at least the training and support network are there for her.”

  The day before, Brita had shot a guy she thought was attacking her niece’s third-grade classmates during an outing at Mote Marine. Dressed as a horror movie killer and wielding a fake knife, he’d charged directly at her and the kids and ignored Brita’s orders to stop and drop the knife.

  Then she’d pulled her concealed handgun and shot him.

  Turned out he was a notorious Internet prankster filming extreme scares. His film crew had captured everything on video from several angles.

  “Thank god none of the kids were seriously hurt,” Chelbie said. “That’s just freaking crazy. I’ve always hated that fucking jackass. One of my cousins is constantly sharing his crap on Facebook. Sucks he had to die but he brought it on himself.”

  “And it was a stand your ground case,” Essie said. “So she’s not going to be charged for it. Everyone legit thought the knife he had was real.” She sadly shook her head. “I saw the video from the news conference this morning. I would have probably reacted the same way she did. Except I would have been running away from him, not toward him like she did. Holy cow, she’s brave.”

  “Shit happens fast,” Chelbie said. “Like that chick who attacked me that time.”

  That finally got a laugh from Cali. “I really should amend that item’s description on our website. ‘Can also be used to fend off a midnight home invader.’”

  “Hey, it’s a multi-tasker,” Chelbie joked. “And you’re welcome for the heavy-duty R&D testing. Stands up to heavy spankings and home invasions.” She mimed a mic drop. “Boom.”

  That got a laugh out of all of them.

  “How many people have RSVP’d so far for the post-Easter party?” Essie asked.

  Cali scrolled through her e-mail on her tablet. “Tony said we already have thirty firm yeses, and five maybes.”

  “Not bad, considering he just sent the e-mail out on Monday,” Chelbie said.

  The three of them sat talking around Essie’s dining room table Saturday morning, the week after the Spank Patrick’s Day party. Essie’s baby son, Eddie, was asleep in his crib in his room. Essie had the baby monitor sitting in front of her on the table.

  “We’ve got a new suspension frame of our own ordered,” Cali said. “Found a really cool metal swing set frame. That way, we can keep it up all the time on the lanai and have it for whenever we need.”

  “When’s it coming?” Chelbie asked.

  “Should be here this week. That gives us plenty of time to set it up and try it out. Supposed to hold over eig
ht hundred pounds.”

  “So, question,” Essie said, her finger tracing the baby monitor’s shape. “Why did you guys volunteer to hold two parties in a row? And why are you ordering your own frame? I thought you always borrowed Kel’s frame? In fact, is it not still set up on your lanai?”

  Cali briefly debated whether or not to answer. Then she decided if she couldn’t be honest with her two best friends, she didn’t deserve to have them as friends to start with.

  “We’ve decided we’re not having kids,” she admitted. “Sean and Max have appointments next Friday for vasectomies. We don’t mind having the parties at our place. Maybe not every single one, but it’s fun holding them. Since we don’t have kids, we don’t have the logistical juggling others do.”

  The two women stared at her for a long, uncomfortable moment.

  “What?”

  “I thought you wanted kids?” Essie asked. “Not judging,” she quickly added, “but when did this all get decided?”

  “It’s been gelling for a while. The three of us talked after the party and pretty much we’d all decided no.”

  Chelbie’s quiet sigh seemed to hover and settle over them. “I know you’re smart enough to make this decision on your own, but please tell me it wasn’t triggered because of what happened to Mal and Kel?”

  “It wasn’t, but that kind of slammed the point home for us.”

  Chelbie nodded. “Okay,” she quietly said. “Because, frankly, if Mal ever thought—”

  “No. All three of us had independently been leaning this way already. We love our life just the way it is. We have fun. We have a business that’s not conducive to having children running around. Hell, Max and Sean are like two big kids anyway.” She explained that morning’s dancing Jesus bunny showdown, which brought smiles to the women’s faces.