Blues Beach [Suncoast Society] Read online

  Eric knew no one would blame Jeff for resenting Tracey and her presence in their lives, but here he was, willing to stand up for her, even though physically he had limitations.

  Eric left his stuff in their room when they all headed down for breakfast together. Jeff hung back a little as they negotiated reunions, many of them tearful ones now that Cara’s funeral day was upon them. It was hard to ignore the fact that they were brought together by the death of someone so many of them had been fond of.

  He’d texted with JJ, but JJ told him to stay there and be with his friends. That the situation at the Demmer house was chilly at best, and uncomfortable to the point that he and his parents were actually considering trying to find a hotel to retreat to that night, or maybe even Cara’s apartment.

  It was that bad.

  Tracey’s parents and siblings were united in their anger at Tracey, and vocally discussing it, as if she had wronged them somehow. Eric felt slightly guilty and felt he needed to admit what was going on.

  I need to tell you I ran into Tracey here at the hotel last night. We spent the night together.

  JJ’s reply surprised him.

  Good for you guys, but FFS, do NOT let her tell her family she’s in town yet! Keep her with you. I won’t tell them on this end.

  Eric stared at his phone.

  What?

  JJ replied.

  I mean it! It’s a we-hate-Tracey fest with these assholes. Keep her there with you. I don’t understand why they’re like this, but Trace was smart not to tell them she’s here already.

  It was even more disturbing to JJ and his parents because the three of them knew how close Tracey and Cara were, and as far as JJ knew, the other Demmer siblings had barely spoken to Cara except at family gatherings for the holidays and the like. It baffled them why they were reacting like that, but the three of them were trying to get along since the Demmers had helped them arrange the funeral.

  During a lull in the conversation, Eric talked with Jeff. “Do you have siblings?”

  “A younger sister.” He grinned. “She’s making us uncles here in few months.”

  “Oh? Congratulations.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How are your parents with…everything?”

  “I’m lucky. Really lucky. My parents and Iris accepted me when I came out after high school. Then they were a little confused when I moved in with the guys, but my parents adopted Emma as a granddaughter, and she loves them. They’re amazing.”

  “At least she has one normal set of grandparents,” Tracey darkly muttered. “And they’re adopted.”

  Eric felt a flash of guilt over hiding the content of his text conversation with JJ from her, although he had told her he was talking with him about today.

  When Tracey got up to go talk to someone, Eric pulled up the text conversation thread and let Jeff read it.

  Jeff’s expression turned grim as he paged through it before returning Eric’s phone. “If it wasn’t so important to her, I’d call home and get back-up ordering her not to go.”

  Eric tucked his phone into his shirt pocket. “I’m not sure we could force her not to go. I just wanted you to be ready for what we’re up against later.”

  “Why are they so crazy? Were they always like this?”

  “For how liberal her parents claim to be, they’ve always wrapped their own self-worth tightly around how well their kids did, and sort of instilled asshole qualities in them as a result. Her brothers and sister are really snooty and self-righteous about that kind of stuff. At least, that’s how they were growing up.

  “Except Tracey somehow missed out on that personality programming, lucky for her. They take it as a personal affront that she didn’t excel academically and blame her for it, saying she didn’t try hard enough, that she was lazy. She wasn’t. I had to help her pass Algebra, and she barely skated by with a C. But she worked her ass off trying to get that C. She wasn’t wasting time watching TV instead of studying. And she struggled against trying to internalize what they said, that her poor academic performance meant she was a bad person.”

  “Wow.” Jeff glanced her direction before leaning in and dropping his voice. “I have orders to walk her out of there if it gets too bad today.”

  “Agreed.”

  Jeff smiled and shook with him. “You coming to Florida to visit us soon, I hope?”

  Eric forced a smile. “I hope so, but it’s still too early for any definitive plans.”

  “You still love her, don’t you?”

  Why lie? He nodded.

  * * * *

  Tracey tried not to focus on the primary reason they were gathered together. She enjoyed reuniting with old friends, some of whom she’d been talking to in the Facebook group. After breakfast, Jeff returned to the room to rest while she and Eric stayed behind for the social. Lunch would actually be at a different hotel not far away. Jeff opted to stay behind at their hotel, promising to eat lunch there. She and Eric would pick him up after lunch when they returned to change clothes, and then ride to the funeral together.

  She was not looking forward to the funeral.

  JJ had texted her during lunch, asking if she, Jeff, and Eric would be there for the visitation period before the funeral, so he could save them all seats next to him and his parents for the funeral.

  She knew Eric had also been in contact with JJ, but didn’t ask exactly what they’d been talking about. Maybe they were coordinating behind the scenes to keep her away from the rest of her family.

  If so, she’d gladly let them.

  As the three of them climbed into Eric’s rental to head to the funeral—Jeff insisting on taking the back seat so she could ride shotgun—Tracey tried not to let her nerves get the better of her. She found herself laying her hand on Eric’s thigh, more a case of habit than conscious action, but before she could draw back he’d laid his hand over hers, curled his fingers around hers, and gently squeezed.

  She left it there, comforted by his presence, his strength.

  They were a little early, the visitation not scheduled to start for another twenty minutes. When the three of them entered the funeral home’s lobby, it was JJ she spotted first. He walked over to hug her, then Eric. She introduced Jeff and they shook.

  Then she spotted the knowing look Eric and JJ shared before he led them toward the main room they’d be in.

  It took everything she had not to ask what kind of mood her family was in. Today wasn’t about her, it was about Cara, and supporting JJ and his parents.

  Eric kept an arm protectively draped around her shoulders while Jeff stayed in step on her other side. When they entered the main room, it was like her parents and siblings had radar. They were sitting on the other side of the aisle from Tracey’s aunt and uncle. As one, her family’s heads swiveled to stare at her—glare was more accurate—and her mother stood. They’d filled the first three rows, between them, her siblings, their significant others, and kids.

  Tracey knew she didn’t imagine it when Eric’s arm tightened around her, and Jeff pressed in close, his hand finding hers.

  Her mother straightened her back and walked over. “You can sit with us.” She gave the evil eye to Jeff and Eric.

  “I’ve already saved them seats next to us in the front row, Aunt Margot,” JJ said. “She was Cara’s best friend. I’d prefer she sit with us.”

  From the way her mother’s lips tightened, Tracey knew she didn’t like being bucked like this but even she wasn’t stupid enough to try to start something at her niece’s funeral.

  “Fine.” She pivoted on her heel and returned to sit next to Tracey’s father.

  “Whew,” JJ whispered. “I really thought that would be harder than that.”

  “Welcome to my world,” Tracey muttered.

  * * * *

  Eric fought back an old, familiar protective wave of fury. Now he remembered how shitty her parents were. Back then, it’d been wrapped up in the trappings of respecting his elders, blah, blah, blah, and he had discou
nted much of it as them being adults and him a “kid.”

  As an adult, he recognized and acknowledged how shitty people could be to each other, especially family members, and no longer gave any fucks or ground.

  He’d honestly thought he was going to have to step in front of Tracey, between her and her mother, and tell her mother to back down when the older woman had finally turned and retreated.

  He made sure to sit Jeff on Tracey’s right, between Tracey and her view of her parents, so that when she looked to him on her left during the funeral, it’d be the opposite direction from where her family sat.

  Of course Margot and Charles put on a big show of being sad and in mourning, almost more than Jill and John and JJ did.

  Oh, yeah.

  Now he recognized that, too. The old pretentiousness that he really hadn’t had a name for back then.

  Like it was an act. Like they were trying to convince others they were genuine, when the only genuine member of their family had been Tracey.

  It was not without a measure of satisfaction that more people stopped by their side of the room than the Demmers’ side. Everyone who’d really known Cara knew how close she was to Tracey and acknowledged her as they did her brother and parents, leaving the Demmers to silently stew, for the most part.

  As the room filled ahead of the funeral, Eric could almost feel Tracey mentally withdrawing, shrinking, growing quieter, making a point of leaning against him and constantly holding his hand or keeping her hand on his thigh.

  He kept his arm draped around her shoulders, and Jeff both held her other hand and kept her supplied with tissues.

  They were at standing room only capacity by the time the funeral started. Tracey kept a death grip on Eric’s free hand, and on Jeff’s. Several times, he glanced across the aisle and noticed either Tracey’s parents or her siblings staring at her.

  The glares they wore could be described as nothing but contemptuous scorn.

  Fuckers.

  From the other side of events, having heard her describe what she’d been through, now he could understand why she’d run to Florida.

  Escaped.

  That’s exactly what it had been—an escape.

  Tracey would never have thrived in California after graduating high school. She would have been stuck under her family’s thumb, constantly reminded how she’d failed and that it’d been all her fault.

  He got it.

  Cara was going to be cremated, so there wouldn’t be a graveside service to suffer through, at least. When the service finally ended, all the other funeral goers had proceeded past them and made their exit, and the ushers indicated it was their turn, followed by Tracey’s family, Eric was tempted to herd Tracey straight out the funeral home door and to his rental to spirit her away from there.

  They had an hour before the post-funeral social was supposed to start at the hotel. JJ turned to her. “Did you want to come back to Aunt Margot’s for dinner?”

  Eric spoke before she could. “We’re supposed to be back at the hotel in an hour for the memorial there. You can join us, if you’d like.”

  Before he could answer, Margot and Charles marched up. “You can ride back to the house with us,” Margot said. “Your…friends can go on. We’ll see you back to your hotel later tonight.”

  Jeff was faster on the draw than Eric. He stepped between Margot and Tracey, a dangerous smile on his face. “Sorry, that won’t work for us. You don’t get to play emotional punching bag with her with us around.”

  That alone was worth the shock and raised eyebrows Margot wore. “How dare you!”

  JJ had apparently had enough, too. “Mom, Dad, I’m sorry, but I’d like to spend some time with Eric and see some other friends I haven’t seen in over ten years. Is it okay if I ride with them? I’ll catch up with you tonight.”

  His parents were apparently clued in to the debacle and nodded, hugging him. “Sure, honey,” his mom said.

  When Jill hugged Tracey, she whispered something to her, but Eric couldn’t hear.

  Besides, he was too busy glaring at Margot, before she finally blinked first and turned to say something to her husband in too soft a voice for Eric to hear.

  JJ quickly followed them after Tracey hugged her aunt and uncle and, Eric noticed, basically shunned her parents and siblings.

  Once they were in the car, JJ in the back seat with Jeff, JJ let out a low whistle. “I’m sorry, Tracey. I know they’re you’re family, but they’re dicks.”

  “Tell me about it,” she muttered. “How bad was it yesterday?”

  “It was basically the ‘Hate Tracey’ show. They kept trying to get me and my parents to agree you were a horrible person for not bringing Emma with you. And how dare you let her live with her father. How both of you should be living in California, so they could oversee Emma’s education, because, obviously, you weren’t qualified. What the hell is wrong with them? It was, no offense, fucking crazy.”

  Eric glanced her way. She’d laid her head against the window and stared out it. “I believe it,” she softly said.

  * * * *

  When her cell phone buzzed a few minutes after they left the funeral home, Tracey glanced at it. Seeing it was her father, she decided to get whatever this was over with now rather than later.

  “What?”

  Her rudeness apparently took him aback, and he paused before speaking. “This is ridiculous. You’re ignoring us.”

  “According to JJ, you all are pissed off at me anyway, so why the hell would I even want to be around you?”

  Another hesitation. They were fine with backbiting, but direct confrontation was a different matter and uncomfortable for them. “I’m sure he misunderstood us.”

  “So he misunderstood you all being pissed off I let Emma live with her father? And he misunderstood that you’re convinced, despite how fucking smart she is, that I’m a horrible mother and should be living here in California with her so you can basically try to ruin her life the way you tried to ruin mine?”

  “What is wrong with you? You’ve always been stubborn and lazy. If you were only like your brothers and sister, this wouldn’t be an issue. Obviously the problem isn’t us, because they all turned out fine. It’s like you tried to defy us growing up.”

  “Considering neither of you or your other kids ever qualified for Mensa, and my daughter’s now a member, I wouldn’t be bragging about that too damn much.”

  “That is beside the point!”

  A wave of weary grief set in. “Sorry I’m such a fucking disappointment, Father. I won’t bother you again. Wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of your scholarly friends by accidentally taking a shit on the carpet in front of them, or using the wrong salad fork.”

  She hung up on him.

  Jeff tapped her shoulder and held out his hand. She put her phone in his palm.

  “Thank you, sweetie,” he gently said.

  At least she had a reason to cry today, one she wouldn’t have to uncomfortably explain away. Everyone would be teary and crying at some point, if they hadn’t already.

  JJ’s voice spoke from the back seat. “If it’s any consolation, Mom and Dad were glad you could make it.”

  “I feel bad we’re abandoning them,” she said.

  “Don’t worry. Mom was going to blast Uncle Charles for acting like a dick later today. She wanted to get through the funeral first. I’d already decided this morning I wasn’t spending another night there. I packed my stuff and loaded it in my rental car before we left for the funeral. I’ll grab it later.”

  Eric made a turn. “Let’s go get it now,” he said. “Before they get home. If worse comes to worst, we can find you a room at our hotel.”

  “Maybe you’re right. I’m supposed to fly out tomorrow afternoon anyway. I can always drive up to LAX and get a room near there if I have to.”

  Tracey stared out the window, trying not to overlay her memories onto the sights passing by outside. It was obvious Eric remembered the way to her house, and e
ven if he hadn’t, he had JJ to help guide him. They didn’t need her input right now.

  Countless memories—good and bad—crawled through her brain. The old, familiar stomach-churning tension she’d felt at the funeral home threatening to make her throw up.

  Yeah, now she remembered why she’d risked their anger to stay in Florida. Because she knew what she was facing upon her return.

  Her parents ranting how they were going to have to hire a private tutor for her to get her scores up so she could make it into a “decent” college.

  How they’d already laid her future out to her before she’d headed to Florida. They’d told her that it was the last “vacation” she’d have, since she’d been “lazy” during high school. That she could expect non-stop studying upon her return.

  Fuck that shit.

  How she realized as she’d packed to leave on the vacation that she’d taken more than just “fun” clothes. She’d tucked in mementoes she didn’t want to leave behind. She’d brought jeans and blouses and shoes. A couple of favorite books. Some stuff she knew she wouldn’t want to lose, not knowing if her parents would ship her things to her later or not.

  Knowing deep in her heart when she boarded the plane that she’d never be back. Not to live, that was for sure.

  How the relief had poured through her, making her cry, when the landing gear had folded into the airplane’s belly with a soft thump after they took off from LAX.

  How she’d realized the prices of food—and apartments—were so much cheaper in Florida than they’d been in California. She knew, because she’d already been looking into those very things, trying to plan her escape there.

  This had been the answer. She would have been stupid not to take the chance. Elizabeth hadn’t wanted her there anyway. Had barely paid attention to her beyond picking her up from the airport and making sure Tracey didn’t embarrass her in front of her friends.

  And in Florida, she’d known she wouldn’t be as tormented by memories of walking away from Eric, either.