Hope Heals Read online

  It angered and saddened her.

  Yet another reason not to get involved with anyone romantically. Maybe, one day, once Jason was older and she had the financial mess completely cleaned up, sure. But for now she couldn’t afford it.

  Definitely couldn’t afford the toll on her heart, or yet another hit to her already sub-basement self-esteem.

  She leaned back in her chair and sipped at her iced tea. No, this was fun. This was, despite her goat attack and Jason’s roof incident, relaxing.

  I could get used to family time like this.

  * * * *

  Sam sat down next to her at the table. Dinner was cleaned up, and the kids had coaxed Dana, Betty, and her dad into the pool, along with Pete.

  “He’s a great kid,” Sam softly told her.

  She definitely didn’t need to force that smile. “Thank you.”

  “I mean it. Hey, my brothers and I did some pretty crazy stuff when we were kids. I’m sure Pete and his did, too.”

  She looked over at him. His brown hair, looking black from being damp from the pool, stuck out at a couple of adorable, crazy angles. “I really appreciate you two helping out this morning.” She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

  He smiled. “No need to thank us. Glad it turned out all right.”

  She made no move to move her hand, and he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to make her move it, so she left it there.

  “Seriously,” he said, “if you ever need anything, you or Jason, don’t hesitate to call us.”

  Staring into his hazel eyes, she realized how badly she wished she could just crawl into his lap and let him hold her.

  She reluctantly pulled her hand away. It was too darn tempting to think about him in a way that couldn’t be good for her heart. “Thank you.”

  No way would she become one of “those” women, needy and clingy, looking for a rescuer.

  Well, okay, an escaped steer and a combative, ninja attack goat aside, she wasn’t going to invent excuses to get either cousin to come around.

  Besides, she needed every penny she could earn. She damn sure didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize her job with them.

  * * * *

  Sam had thought maybe there was a little spark of something, when she reached over and squeezed his arm. Then it felt like she’d given herself a mental correction and had withdrawn.

  He knew to the depths of his soul that she was attracted to them. He also recognized the hurt and fear haunting her.

  He’d seen it in his own sister after she’d left an abusive jerk.

  The reluctance to get close to anyone again, trying to keep a wall up around her, to keep others out and protect herself emotionally.

  He scooted his chair closer, so he could lean in. She smelled like strawberries and he wondered if it was her shampoo or soap.

  “We should do this on a regular basis,” he said. “Everyone get together.”

  “We don’t want to invade your place like that.”

  He shrugged. “We can rotate it around. Sometimes at your place, sometimes at Betty’s. You know, if you don’t mind, once Jason gets his cast off we’d love a chance to teach him how to ski.”

  She looked at him, frowning a little. “You guys have a boat?”

  “Yeah. We were both about his age when we learned. And Dana’s kids, too, of course,” he added. “Now that they’re old enough.”

  “What about gators?”

  He laughed. “You swam in this lake growing up.”

  “Yeah, and gators were an endangered species back then.”

  “We’ve skied plenty of times out there.” He held up both hands and wiggled his fingers. “See? Nothing’s missing.”

  She finally awarded him with a smile. “Okay. Once his cast’s off. I’m sure he’d probably love to do that.”

  “And we’ll provide the gear, don’t worry. I’m sure in our family someone’s got kids who’ve outgrown skis and jackets. We might even start them on a kneeboard.”

  He didn’t know how true his first statement would be, and he didn’t care. He’d gladly buy the kids skis and ski jackets out of his own pocket if he had to.

  Anything to have a chance to spend more time with Sarah and Jason.

  Anything to take the defeated expression out of her eyes.

  He’d gone online and devoured her website, impressed with her talent. He loved her artwork and design portfolio.

  He also knew from his talks with Walt that the ongoing legal battle to wipe her ex’s fraudulently obtained debts from her record took up a great deal of her spare focus.

  If the fucker hadn’t died I wouldn’t have minded a crack at him myself.

  The evening seemed to end way too soon. Once he and Pete were alone and cleaning up, he wanted to say something but his cousin beat him to it.

  “Jason seems like a great kid.”

  “Yeah. I thought so.”

  Pete met his gaze. “Do you really think we might be able to do this?”

  “I think if we take our time and earn her trust, yes.”

  He slowly nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I’m thinking we have them over at least once a week for dinner. Maybe more. Or take them out.”

  Sam smiled. “Again, we’re thinking a lot alike.”

  Pete’s thoughtful expression slowly dissolved into a smile.

  * * * *

  Once they returned home and she had Jason tucked into bed, Sarah took a couple of ibuprofen for her aching muscles and turned in for the night.

  Every time she closed her eyes, she thought about Sam and Pete.

  They seemed like good men. And the kids had loved them.

  Especially Jason.

  Why had he gone up to the roof, really? What had he wanted to say to Michael—although her personal opinion was that if an afterlife truly existed Jason would have to look down, not up, to speak with Michael—that he felt he needed to do it alone on the roof and couldn’t tell her?

  I can’t know all his secrets. Maybe he would come around and be able to talk about it now that life was settling down into a new routine for them.

  She closed her eyes and hoped her dreams would be filled with sexiness, starring Sam and Pete.

  Chapter Twelve

  Over the next couple of weeks, with Dana’s guidance and her dad’s credit cards, Sarah got Jason outfitted in his required school uniforms and picked up all the necessary supplies he’d need for the school year.

  He chattered non-stop about Sage and Dell and the things they’d told him about being in first grade at the school they were attending. He was definitely excited to be going. Now with all three kids entering second grade, Sarah hoped Jason wouldn’t have any trouble fitting in with his cousins there.

  She’d also taken him to the pediatrician, who declared him in good health. After an x-ray, he decreed Jason’s cast could come off as originally scheduled, meaning only a week of the school year spent wearing the thing.

  Something that had Jason cheering.

  And she’d taken the time to go to the school, alone, to speak with the teacher, Mrs. Aarons. Approximately Sarah’s age, she seemed sympathetic to what Jason had been through and agreed she’d immediately inform Sarah if he seemed to be having any emotional troubles.

  Sarah also spoke with the guidance counselor, who assured her Jason’s continued reticence to talk about his dad to anyone, not just her, was normal.

  “Forcing him to talk about it might do more harm than good,” she kindly said. “Kids his age are resilient. Knowing that you and the rest of the family are available is the best and only thing you can do for him right now. He might not be ready to talk about it.”

  And not only was her work for Sam and Pete going well, their friendship seemed to deepen, too. She loved how the men frequently invited all of them over for dinner, or treated all the kids, and Dana and herself, to outings. The Saturday before school started, the men surprised them all, including Walt and Betty, with a trip to Busch Gardens.


  When she offered to chip in for the expenses, Pete brushed it away with a smile. “We have fun doing this. We enjoy spending time with you and Jason. And everyone,” he added. “This is because we want to. It’s forcing us to take time off to relax. I think Sam and I are both happier right now than we’ve been in a while. We’re workaholics. Now we have an excuse to goof off a little.” He grinned. “You don’t mind being our excuse, do you? Otherwise, we’ll feel guilty that we’re not working ourselves to death.”

  She couldn’t refuse his playful grin. “No, I wouldn’t want to do that.”

  “Good. Because if we weren’t doing this, we wouldn’t have an excuse not to work seven days a week.”

  Jason also started hinting that, in addition to the other livestock, he wanted a pony. The neighbors across the road had two gentle old geldings they let Jason pet all the time. It got to the point any time the horses spotted him, they immediately started ambling over toward the fence to get some attention from him.

  When Sam, who’d watched this play out one day, innocently asked her why Jason couldn’t have a horse, she’d elbowed him in the side to shut him up before Jason could hear him.

  “Not exactly in my budget,” she’d whispered.

  The morning of Jason’s first day of school, she set her alarm extra early so she could be up in plenty of time to get him ready. He seemed more excited than she was to get moving, because before she could even open his bedroom door, he threw it open and nearly ran into her on his way to the bathroom.

  “I don’t want to be late, Mom,” he called over his shoulder.

  She didn’t bother holding back her laugh.

  It felt damn good to laugh. Something that finally started feeling natural and easy again after the early weeks of tears.

  After getting dressed and eating, Walt and Sarah started walking down the driveway to await the bus. She was a little surprised when Sam and Pete appeared in the pasture and started walking toward them.

  Jason hugged them both. “It’s the first day of school.”

  “Yeah, we know, buddy,” Sam said. “We came to see you off.”

  Pete offered him a fist bump. “Wanted to wish you good luck.”

  Sarah felt her emotions welling up inside her, threatening to form a choking lump in her throat. She hugged both men. “Thanks, guys. You didn’t have to do this.”

  “We know,” Pete said. “We wanted to.”

  They continued walking with them to the end of the driveway, Jason chattering nearly nonstop the entire way about things Dell and Sage had related to him.

  At different times, Sam and Pete caught her eye and winked, nearly sending her into giggles.

  Once the bus arrived, with Sage and Dell’s eager faces pressed against the windows as they waved at everyone, Sarah gave Jason one last hug. “Go have fun, honey.”

  “Thanks.” He waved at everyone. “See you later.” Then he climbed onto the bus and they watched as he joined Sage and Dell in their seat before the bus door shut and continued on up the road.

  She stared after it, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

  “You all right?” Sam softly asked.

  She nodded. “Yep. I’ve never sent him off like this before. Last year, we were only eight blocks from the school. I either walked him or drove him there.” She rubbed her arms for comfort. “My baby’s growing up.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Walt assured her. “He’s got the hellions to show him the way.”

  “That poor teacher,” Pete joked. “I hope she gets hazard pay.”

  They all laughed and started back up the driveway.

  * * * *

  Pete and Sam were about to walk through the gate back to their property when Sarah spoke up. “I’ll be there in a minute, Dad.”

  Walt nodded and didn’t question her, just continued on toward the house.

  She turned to both of them, her expression unreadable. “I really wanted to thank you both.”

  Pete shrugged. “We wanted to wish him good luck on his first day. It’s nothing.”

  “Not just for this,” she quietly said. “Everything. The job, the friendship, spending time with the kids. Everything.”

  She wrapped her arms around him first for a hug that definitely felt more than just polite. She clung to him for a long moment before turning and hugging Sam.

  Pete felt a wistful pang when she let him go. He could stand there all morning with her like that.

  “Hey,” Sam told her, “we mean it when we say we enjoy this.”

  “But I know you guys are busy. This means a lot to me, that you took the time to walk him down to the bus.” Her eyes suddenly looked a little too bright. “I can count on one hand the number of times Michael took him to school, and usually only because I was too sick to do it.”

  Pete turned her to face him again, his hands resting on her shoulders. He waited until she met his gaze, her green eyes still looking like they were on the verge of tears. He kept his voice soft. “Sarah, we consider you guys family. We’re not exaggerating when we say that. You and Jason and Walt.”

  “And the others,” Sam added, stepping close as he took her hand in his.

  Pete nodded. “And everyone else. I think you have this false impression that we’re two happy-go-lucky bachelors. Neither one of us got married with the intention of getting divorced. We both thought we’d have families of our own by now. So please don’t think of it as us doing you any favors. You all are the ones doing us the favor by letting us be there for you.”

  Sam nodded but, thankfully, didn’t add any snarky comments.

  She threw her arms around him. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You guys have made this whole thing bearable. You really have.” She hugged Sam again before stepping away and wiping at her eyes. “I know you guys have work to do. I need to get a job out this morning, too. Thank you again.” She quickly turned and headed toward the house.

  They stood there and watched her until she disappeared around the line of bushes that partially shielded the house from the driveway.

  Sam let out a sigh. “I’m so in love with that woman it hurts when she walks away.”

  Pete held up his fist. Sam bumped with him.

  In silence, they returned to their own house.

  Chapter Thirteen

  On Jason’s third day of school, Sarah was still trying to adjust to the new normal of not having him or the twins underfoot. She also realized a little before lunchtime that she hadn’t seen her dad for a while. She knew he was still there, because his truck and her car were both parked in the carport.

  Niggling fear set in. She knew it was irrational, but knowing how her mom had died, it made her a little nervous not having seen nor heard hide nor hair of him for over an hour. At least if she heard a tractor running, she knew he was likely okay.

  Walking out to the lanai, she listened. She didn’t hear anything but the breeze and birds.

  “Dad?” She listened for a response, but still heard nothing.

  He wasn’t in the chicken coop, or out at the goat and pig pen. He also wasn’t down by the lake, and the boat still sat resting on the hoist, so he hadn’t gone fishing.

  She headed toward the large barn. Maybe he was working in there even though the big door was pulled closed.

  As she drew closer, she thought she heard odd noises coming from the barn. Walking around to the side, she opened the small door. It took her eyes a moment to adjust as she stepped in, but unfortunately that was more than enough time for her to see what she could never unsee.

  Her father had Betty bent over his workbench, his back to Sarah, but his pants down around his knees.

  “Oh…oh my god!”

  Both of them jumped, startled.

  Sarah closed her eyes and started backing out, instead knocking over the stepladder next to the door and blocking her path. “I’m sorry!” she said as he stumbled over it and desperately tried to get back out the door. “I’m sorry!”

  Crap crap crap
!

  The one thing she’d managed to never do in all of her years growing up with her parents, and here she’d managed to do it in less than a month living back at home, and involving a neighbor, no less.

  She finally managed to get turned around and clamber over the stepladder and out the door, slamming it shut behind her.

  That’s when the nearly hysterical giggles hit. She’d just walked in on her dad.

  Having sex.

  With the neighbor.

  At least now I have my answer.

  She stumbled over to the animal pen and grabbed hold of a fencepost for support as the laughter poured out of her.

  Behind her she heard the door open again. “Sarah?” her dad called. “You all right?”

  “Oh…I’m…fine!” She could barely breathe as heaving gusts of laughter roared out of her.

  “Eh, are you sure?”

  That made her laugh even harder. She bent over, hands on her knees for balance as she laughed so hard she suspected she’d have to change her underwear.

  It felt damn good to laugh for a change.

  Even if it was at her dad and Betty’s expense.

  “Well, glad you’re getting a good laugh out of it.”

  She finally managed to turn to face them and straighten, although she still couldn’t stop laughing. Betty stood behind him, her T-shirt askew but smiling. He looked downright confused.

  She plopped onto the ground, howling with laughter.

  Betty smacked him on the shoulder. “Serves you right, you old bastard. Told you we should have gone over to my place.”

  “What’d I do?”

  “Grabbing me right there in the barn like that.”

  “I didn’t hear you complaining at the time.”

  Sarah fell over onto her side, helpless, knowing until she got it out of her system she wouldn’t be able to stop.

  Several of the goats, along with Hammy and Bacon, all pushed their way over to the fence, trying to see what the commotion was.

  Their assorted shnurfles and noises only made her laugh that much harder.