Borderline Read online

  And they didn’t have a key to his place, either, had left nothing of theirs behind.

  Thankfully.

  Lying in bed, he stared up at the darkened ceiling and tried to see what he had missed. Surely there had been clues he’d overlooked.

  Right?

  Maybe not. If Kim had been with her for eight years, how was he supposed to see something after a few months?

  Or maybe I was kidding myself.

  For years, he’d felt like he stood at the edge of some invisible border, looking in at other people who were happy, never feeling like he’d honestly be happy. Louise was happiness. Tilly was happiness.

  Maybe he was never meant to be happy.

  * * * *

  Two weeks later, on Saturday night and despite knowing he probably shouldn’t, he drove himself to Venture and in the parking lot he buckled Tilly’s collar around his neck before he headed inside. After paying his entry fee and getting a wrist band, he entered the dungeon area. Just after eight, not many people were there yet.

  Tony was lead DM that night and walked over to say hi.

  His playful smile belied his words. “The girls let you out alone tonight?”

  He tried to smile back, but it felt too tight, not real. “There was a…complication.” He didn’t know the full story and suspected he never would.

  He’d tried to call Kylee that morning, just to get some closure, and found she’d blocked his number.

  When he’d called Kim, he found out Kylee had blocked hers, too. But he respected Kim’s need to be alone and wished her well.

  He suspected he would never call her number again, and that she likely wouldn’t call his.

  Tony’s smile faded. “Uh-oh. Complication?”

  “Yeah.” He hadn’t meant to tell the story. Had sworn to himself he wouldn’t.

  But he needed to vent.

  He needed his friends.

  He really needed Tilly, but he didn’t want to burden her with this.

  Refused to burden her with this.

  He also didn’t want her doing something that would require him offering to go halves on her bail with Landry and Cris.

  Bob tipped his head toward the new side and they headed over there to talk away from the few people already in the dungeon. When Bob finished the quick telling—because, honestly, there wasn’t a lot to tell—he followed it with a plea.

  “Please don’t tell Tilly.”

  From the grim look on Tony’s face, Bob could tell that was exactly what he wanted to do. “Why not? She’ll want to know.”

  “I…it’s over, I’ll never know the full story, and I really don’t want Tilly going to jail. Kylee’s not worth it.”

  That finally got a laugh out of Tony. “On that point, I will concur.” He opened his arms to him for a hug, and Bob gratefully stepped in for one. “I’m really sorry, man. I thought you’d hit the lottery.”

  “Me, too.” He finally stepped back. “I just thought I’d come hang out and not…feel as lonely tonight.”

  “I can understand that. If you need anything, or want to talk some more, let me know.”

  “Thanks.”

  Bob headed back to the social area, grabbed himself a bottle of water from the fridge, and settled in at a table.

  Maybe this was a mistake.

  He knew damn well Tony wouldn’t tell Tilly…but he’d tell someone. Bob hadn’t sworn him to secrecy, and Doms were great at finding loopholes. Almost as good as subs.

  And whoever Tony did tell, the man would make sure they were someone who would immediately go running to Tilly.

  As much as his soul ached right now, Bob still couldn’t throw himself at her feet like a pitiful shipwreck and beg her to toss him a bone. She was a busy woman with a life, a hectic job that frequently took her out of town, two husbands who loved her, and on top of all of that, a new baby they’d just adopted.

  He was just…Bob.

  Gilo and Abbey walked in, and she was obviously in Top mode tonight.

  She also noticed Bob was there alone. And after Bob spotted Tony whispering in her ear when she hugged him hello, her quick glance in Bob’s direction, accompanied by her murderous expression as Tony talked, told Bob all he needed to know.

  After she and Gilo got their stuff settled, they not-so-nonchalantly ambled on over to him and settled in at his table.

  “Here alone, huh?” she asked, homicidal rage now replaced by a kind smile.

  He could play the game. “Yeah. Long story. Free agent again.”

  She looked at Gilo, who nodded. Then back to him. “I’ve got a couple of aggravating work days’ worth of mean to vent tonight. The big baby here kind of wrenched his back and isn’t up for more than a little slap and tickle. I can’t give you a happy finish, but I’d be happy to play with you, if you’d like.”

  Bob considered it. He’d played with her a couple of times in the past, before she and Gilo got together, and before Tilly had started playing with him again. Another Tilly-approved play partner.

  And he’d watched Gilo carry their damn toybags through the door. Neither one of them were light packers when it came to implements.

  If Gilo had a bad back, Bob was Harry Houdini.

  He also wasn’t going to turn down a chance to shove conscious thought from his brain. “Only if you promise to give me a Gilo-worthy beating,” he tried to joke.

  Gilo let out a low whistle. “Damn, boy. You are brave.”

  “Hell, you can help take a whack at me, too, if you want,” he said. “I trust you.”

  “I might just take you up on that. I’ve watched you play with Landry. About that level?”

  Bob smiled. “If you think you can.”

  “Heh. Aww, looky here, honey, he thinks he’s a SAM. Isn’t that adorable?”

  She smiled. “Hey, I’m not going down that rabbit hole. Landry’s fucking mean as a Top.” She nudged Gilo with her elbow. “I don’t see you volunteering to let Landry smack you around.”

  That backfired on him. “Eh, point taken.” He smiled at Bob. “One Bruised Butt special, then, my friend?”

  He appreciated them trying to make him laugh, but all he wanted to do was get beat and have an emotional breakdown to vent some of the mental garbage backing up in his brain. “Absolutely. Fair warning, I might cry.”

  “Don’t worry.” Gilo’s expression softened, sincere, his voice dropping. “We won’t tell.”

  Although Bob knew what Gilo really meant was telling anyone if he cried.

  He felt absolutely certain they’d tell Tilly.

  * * * *

  Late Monday afternoon, Bob sat at his desk, occasionally squirming in his chair and with his office door closed. Abbey and Gilo had delivered on the Bruised Butt special, of that there was no doubt. That morning, he’d borne purple and blue marks all up and down his ass and thighs.

  And the cathartic cry he’d finally been able to let loose had helped a lot.

  It was just before five. He was almost ready to quit for the day and go home when his office door opened. He was going to look up from his computer and scold whoever it was for not knocking first when he realized who it was.

  Tilly slipped inside and quietly shut the door behind her, pressing the button on the knob to lock it.

  Stunned into silence, all Bob could do when she snapped her fingers and pointed at the floor in front of his desk was get up, round the desk…

  …and drop to his hands and knees, full formal bow.

  She knelt in front of him—no, sat on the floor, he realized—and gently raked her nails through his hair.

  She also didn’t speak for the longest time, slowly stroking his hair as if deep in thought.

  “What am I going to do with you, sweetie?” she whispered.

  He edged forward as the sobs hit, her drawing him into her lap as his arms slipped around her waist and he softly cried.

  She rocked him, stroking his back, for he didn’t know how long. The sound of people leaving and the front door lock
ing meant he was alone with her in the building now. It wasn’t unusual for them to leave and not say good-bye if he was with a client.

  As far as they knew, Tilly was a client. They’d seen her, and Landry and Cris, there before in the past. Knew they were friends of his.

  Finally, she stretched and snagged the box of tissues off the front corner of his desk and pressed a couple into his hands.

  “Why didn’t you call me, sweetie? I shouldn’t have to find this out from Abbey two friggin’ weeks after the fact.”

  Called that right. “I didn’t want you to go to jail, Ma’am.”

  A hoarse laugh barked free, but she pulled him in for a hug. “Please make me a promise, okay?”

  “Yes, Ma’am?”

  She cupped his face in her hands. “In the future, you call me first. Okay? If Ding-Dong and Master Fussypants together can’t keep me out of jail, we’re seriously fucked anyway.”

  He managed a smile for her. “I’m sorry, Ma’am.”

  Another hug. “What are you doing tonight?”

  “The usual. Home. Chores.”

  “So you’re free?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “Okay. Can you leave now?”

  “I need to shut down my computer and set the building alarm.”

  She stood, holding her hands out to him to help him up. “Then let’s go.”

  “Where are we going?”

  Her hand shot out as she reached up and snagged his ear, pulling him down to her level. “What was that?” Just a hint of edge to her tone.

  “Where are we going, Ma’am?”

  “Back to your place. I brought my toybag. I heard there’s a boy in desperate need of attention of the right kind. I know you got a beating, but there’s other play we can do that I’m sure you need.”

  He choked back the grateful sob trying to break free. “Yes, Ma’am. Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, but you’re very welcome.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “I know you tried to help me out by introducing me to them.”

  “For starters, from what I’ve found out, you are not at fault here, and I’ll snatch that little fucking bitch bald if I ever see her again. She gave me grief when Cris returned, and she pulls this shit not just to you, but to Kim as well? Fuck that noise. I told her that, too.”

  “She didn’t block your number?”

  “Fuck yeah, she did, after I talked to her. I found the shit she’s been seeing, gave him a piece of my mind, and hopefully fucked up that arrangement for her, too, when I finished with him. He didn’t realize she’d had not just Kim, but you as well. She told him Kim was just a friend and her roommate. I went to his work and laid into him in front of everyone.”

  “You…what?”

  She grinned. “You can fuck me over, but you fuck with my friends and you invite a level of Hell on top of you that you never dreamed of. If someone is stupid enough to fuck over someone I consider mine?” She let out a low whistle. “Remember, I have a rich, sadistic hubby who will pretty much give me anything I want and who is more than eager to giggle over someone else’s misfortune when it’s self-inflicted. Took me all of twenty minutes and a PI on retainer to get what I needed.”

  He couldn’t help it. He pulled her in for a long, strong hug. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

  She returned the hug, patting him on the back. “Guess you’re stuck with us. Next bitch I let take a whack at you in a relationship will first have to survive a security-clearance-worthy background check by the time I’m finished with them before I let them get anywhere near you just for dinner.”

  She cupped his face in her hands. “You can make me dinner and I’ll give you some bottom time and we’ll talk, okay?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “And before you ask, yes, Landry and Cris know I’m here. Cris is out of town, but Landry practically shoved me out the door. He’d be here with me, if it wasn’t for the baby. He’s worried about you, too.”

  “He is?”

  “Uh, yeah. Master Fussypants might be a sadist, but he’s also a very conscientious guy when it comes to all of this stuff. He feels badly you got caught in the middle. Again.”

  She gave him a smile. “Needless to say, he wants me to work play time for you into our schedule, his and mine, even if we need to do it at the house. So we’ll be discussing that tonight, too. As long as you’re okay with playing with just him, or him and Cris, if I can’t be there?”

  He nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.” He was. Cris had never deliberately fucked him over, and had been more than generous by not objecting to Tilly and Landry playing with him.

  “And we’ll have you come over for vanilla time. KC needs more willing minions. She’s already got her two dads wrapped around her chubby little hands. She’s going to need Uncle Bob around to spoil her, too.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Now…

  Bob knelt on a yoga mat on the floor of the pool house late Friday evening and patiently waited. Even if he had to kneel there all night, he would.

  He was their good boy.

  He would follow orders.

  As soon as Bob had walked through the front door that night, Landry had been waiting, whispering an order into Bob’s ear to put his things in his room, bid KC good-night where Tilly was in her room reading a bedtime story to her, then to go to the pool house, strip, grab a quick shower, don collar and cuffs, and await them.

  And now…he waited.

  The time he had spent collared to Landry had been…amazing. He didn’t know what the plan was for tonight, but whatever it was, he knew he’d be smiling on the other end of it, as he always did. He was slated to spend the whole weekend there at the house, vanilla and kinky time. Tomorrow, they were all supposed to go to a children’s art festival down in Venice.

  As a family.

  Even if tonight was the only kinky thing they did all weekend, he was happy.

  He was having fun being “Uncle Bob” to KC, and chilling out with the triad and their other mutual friends.

  His adopted family.

  He didn’t know how long he’d been waiting when he heard the pool house door open and sensed all three of them walk in. He opened his eyes, but didn’t turn his head, didn’t move.

  Tilly’s bare feet stood in front of him.

  “Put this on the counter, please,” she said to someone else. “Make sure I turned it all the way up so we can hear it in case she gets up.”

  Cris’ bare feet came into view and then traveled away again, heading toward the kitchen area.

  “Okay, KC’s asleep,” she said. “Apologies in advance if we have to interrupt this. Hence the baby monitor.”

  Which explained what she’d had Cris take from her.

  Bob nodded his head just a little but didn’t otherwise respond. He hadn’t been asked to speak.

  Tilly knelt and he felt her fingers on his chin, gently tipping his face up so she could look him in the eyes.

  “What am I going to do with you, sweetie?” she softly said. He knew from her tone that her comment was rhetorical, so again, he didn’t respond.

  Her gaze seemed to be searching his for…something.

  Then she released his chin and sat cross-legged in front of him.

  “Please sit up. We want to talk. Get comfy.”

  He changed position, mirroring her, sitting cross-legged on the yoga mat he’d been kneeling on.

  She clasped her hands in her lap. “I still feel horrible about what happened—didn’t happen—between us years ago,” she gently said. “I feel even worse about what happened with you and Kim and Kylee. You’re family to us. But is this working for you, since we collared you? I mean, honestly, is it really working for you?”

  He nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  She shook her head. “No, sweetie. Bob and Tilly right now.”

  He nodded. “It’s working for me.”

  “Even if we never change a thing from
how we are, right now? Even if we never give you more than we currently are?”

  He nodded. “I understand that.”

  A soft, sad sigh escaped her, and he almost felt like he should be comforting her.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because no relationship I’ve ever been in makes me feel as happy and satisfied as serving you three. I understand you’re a closed triad. I’m okay with this. The three of you give me what I need, and not just kinky stuff. I have fun spending vanilla time with you guys and KC.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he realized Landry sat on the edge of the bed and Cris leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, both silently watching.

  He suspected whatever happened tonight, Cris and Landry would defer to Tilly.

  After another long moment of silence he didn’t interrupt, she spoke again. “You’ve talked about retiring,” she said. “Selling your business. Maybe doing something else. You’re not even fifty yet. Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

  He nodded. “Yes. I’m tired of the business. My condo’s paid off. I have solid retirement accounts. I’ve done it for over twenty years. I’m sick of it, and I’ve had offers to buy me out.”

  “If you could walk away from it—selling it—and walk into a new career you would enjoy doing, would you do it?”

  She was getting to a point, he suspected, but he didn’t rush her. “In a second, but only if it wouldn’t interfere with the time I spend with all of you.”

  Her lips pressed together in a thin line for a moment. “Do you have a passport?”

  That was an odd segue. “Yes?”

  “Current?”

  “I believe so. We had a great quarter a couple of years ago, so I treated everyone to a cruise. Well, the office paid for it. I got one so I could go. Why?”

  “Because you know how crazy my life and job are. I am in desperate need of a personal assistant who I can trust not just with me and my lifestyle, but with KC, and her privacy and well-being as well as mine and Landry’s and Cris’. There are times I can’t bring KC with me when I travel because I know I don’t have someone I can trust as much as Lan or Cris or you to take care of her on-site while I’m working. I could leave her with Leigh if she was there, but she’s not traveling now. Her butt’s home until she has that baby. Maybe even after. She’s seriously thinking about working out of the Venice office from now on and handing over all her current duties to me, and taking over what I do.”