The Reluctant Dom Read online

  The vibrator clicked on a few moments later, and she jerked, twisted, and whimpered.

  Shifting position, Seth left his hand on her ass and reached under her with his other and found her clit.

  Leah’s whimpers changed tone, and she stilled her frantic squirming.

  “Stay very still,” he whispered, “and be a good girl, and I’ll give you a reward.”

  Her high-pitched whine struck a deep chord of desire within him.

  She froze, statue still.

  He found her swollen nub and gently tweaked it, rolling it in his fingers in time with the vibrator’s pulsation. He sensed the tension in her body, the urge to work her hips in time with his movements conflicting with her desire to do what she was ordered.

  He pressed another kiss to her flesh and then whispered, “Do you want it, baby?”

  A soft, keening whine in response.

  “Give it to me.” He gently pinched her clit. She exploded, screaming against the ball gag, her entire body tensing and straining against the cuffs. When she finished and collapsed, limp against the bench, Seth once again kissed her hip and gently patted her ass.

  He went straight to his room, locked the door, and fell on his bed. With the sound of her cries still fresh in his head, he fisted his cock, and within a minute had come again.

  Fuck.

  He hadn’t been this horny since high school.

  * * * *

  Despite knowing in his head—the one on top of his shoulders—that Kaden was copacetic with the situation, it took every last ounce of Seth’s nerves to force himself out of his bedroom an hour later. The playroom door was closed, as was the master bedroom door, and the living room was silent.

  Seth’s stomach growled.

  He silently walked out to the kitchen, no sign of life. He could see out the front windows and knew they had to be here somewhere, because the Lexus and Ridgeline were parked in the drive.

  Trying not to make any noise, he opened the fridge and found a package of sliced turkey. He turned to lay it on the counter and nearly screamed. Leah stood there, smiling, in her collar and long T-shirt.

  “Jesus Fucking H. Christ! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

  “Sorry. Want me to make you something? I’m sorry I didn’t cook you breakfast this morning. You must be starving.”

  Seth waited for his heart to quit racing. “How’d you sneak up on me?”

  “We’re out in the garage. Kaden’s up in the attic taking inventory of the Christmas lights and decorations. You know him. Even though it’s still a few months away, he’s got to outdo himself every year.”

  Danger! Danger!

  Seth frantically struggled for something to say to wipe the impending storm clouds from her eyes. He knew she was thinking the same thing he was, that it was most likely Kaden’s last Christmas. At the very least the last one he could actively participate in. Putting up lights was one of his passions. His displays were always a hit at their series of holiday parties and dinners they held every year.

  Seth forced a growl he didn’t feel. “You should make me something to eat. What kind of way is that to treat Sir?”

  Her cheeks filled with color, and her lips slightly parted. Then a playful smile lit her face. “I’m sorry, Sir.” She pushed him out of her way and practically dove into the refrigerator to get what she needed. He stepped to the side, silently relieved he’d distracted her.

  Fuck.

  Now he understood what Kaden meant.

  He retook his usual place at the counter and watched Leah quickly put his lunch together. She turned and set the plate before him. Their eyes locked. He reached out and touched her hand, gently squeezed it.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “So he decided to let you out after all, huh?”

  Another playful smile. Thank God.

  “He said since I was apparently good enough to convince Sir to make me come, I must have been very well behaved and deserved time off for good behavior.”

  Seth’s turn to howl with laughter. He stood and pulled her into his arms for a hug. “We’re all crazy. You realize that, right?”

  Leah pressed her face against his chest. “Yeah but it’s a good kind of crazy.”

  “Got that right.”

  Chapter Nine

  Seth somehow managed to pass his finals. Whip training continued, as did his education in other areas. Since he spent more time with Leah, she took over most of his shibari training. She worked with him on the basics while Kaden took over for the more advanced skills.

  This would take a while.

  Seth still wasn’t comfortable being too intimate with Leah, even though he was constantly nudged in that direction by both his friends. Seth did allow them to demonstrate some of the various implements on him, including Kaden nailing him in the ass with a singletail—albeit while wearing jeans—so Seth could feel what Leah felt. One of Seth’s persistent fears was that he would hurt her. After realizing most of the items weren’t nearly as scary as they looked and sounded, especially considering Leah’s years of experience, he did loosen up and take a more active role in her sessions.

  Seth also took it upon himself to be their unofficial photographer, using any and all excuses to get as many candid photos of Kaden and Leah, especially together, that he could. The shibari lessons were an excellent excuse for this. Seth spent plenty of time taking pictures and video of Kaden tying her up on the pretense of needing them for his own use to master the techniques.

  So far, he hadn’t noticed much of an outward change in Kaden’s appearance. Seth knew it was just a matter of time before his friend started losing weight. The Christmas lights and party plans continued full force. Kaden was only telling a select few people about his condition, swearing them to secrecy. He didn’t want scores of people constantly coming up to Leah and telling them how sorry they were and dragging out her misery.

  Not only did Seth agree with that, he thought it was pretty smart for Kaden to think about it.

  Leah, for her part, did fairly well. A couple of times Seth awoke to hear them in the playroom in the middle of the night. One afternoon Seth had come home after class to find Leah crumpled in the middle of the living room floor, a wide-eyed look of despair on her face. She wouldn’t—or couldn’t—talk.

  He scooped her up and took her to the playroom. Fortunately, Kaden was already on his way home. By the time he arrived to take over, Seth had warmed her up and gotten her into subspace, even though he didn’t have the routine down pat yet and probably wasn’t nearly as masterly as she would have liked. It took Kaden thirty minutes to get her to cry. When she did, she screamed her agony. Seth quietly slipped out of the room and left them alone.

  He accompanied them to the club three more times. They saw Baxter on the second visit, but he didn’t accost them.

  On the third visit, Kaden called Seth over after he’d bound Leah to the bench not just with cuffs but with rope. He leaned in.

  “Go sit by her head and talk to her, tell her to come for you.”

  “What?”

  “Do it. It’ll make it even hotter for her.”

  Seth dumbly nodded. Usually he just observed during public scenes. He’d never actively participated in one, even though he had at home. He walked over to the bench and knelt next to her, his cheek touching hers, his lips by her ear.

  “Do you want to come for me?”

  She whimpered around the ball gag. Kaden had already warmed her up with the flogger and paddle and was now standing behind her with one of the more flexible riding crops. It had a longer flapper on the end, and Seth knew when Kaden struck her just right with it, between her legs, it would quickly make her come.

  Seth closed his eyes. “Come for me, sweetheart,” he whispered.

  She jumped and moaned as Kaden started swinging. Seth knew these kinds of swats weren’t as hard as the ones he laid sideways across the fleshy part of her ass, but it still set off conflicting emotions inside him. Horror, that he was he
lping her get beaten.

  And desire, wanting to make her explode.

  To come for him.

  He continued whispering to her. Within a few minutes, her body tensed as she screamed around the ball gag.

  “Where are we, love?” Kaden asked.

  She flashed an okay sign.

  Kaden quickly worked to untie the ropes and undo her cuffs. When he was near her head, he leaned over and whispered in Seth’s ear, “Take her off the bench, ungag her, and hold her.”

  Swallowing hard, he did. She curled in his arms, and he automatically cuddled her close to him, protectively, wanting to close out the world and do nothing but hold her like this.

  Seth was vaguely aware of Kaden putting away their equipment and wiping down the bench.

  Aftercare. He felt her need as she softly cried in his arms, like a violent earthquake had rocked her and now she was suffering through the aftershocks.

  He pressed his lips to her temple. “You okay?”

  She nodded but didn’t move.

  Once Kaden had put his shirt on, he knelt beside them and brushed the hair from her face. “How are we, love?” he softly asked.

  “Green,” she whispered.

  “Very good love. Feel like getting dressed now?”

  She nodded. Seth pressed a kiss to her forehead and helped her to her feet.

  He could have sat there all night holding her like that. It wasn’t even so much a sexual experience as it was an emotional one, like she’d been viscerally stripped bare and trusted him to keep her safe until she could function again.

  Like he was protecting her.

  It was that vision floating through his mind as he drifted to sleep later that night.

  * * * *

  Seth had lived with them for five weeks when Kaden informed him he had scheduled his Atlanta trip. The men were playing guitar in the den while Leah cooked dinner.

  “You should probably sleep with her while I’m gone.”

  Seth groaned. “Dude, I told you—”

  “I meant sleep sleep, not sex sleep. I don’t think she’ll do well sleeping alone. It’ll be too much of a preview of…after.”

  Could he do that and not get himself in trouble?

  Then again, was it “trouble” when that was the plan in the first place? “I’ll figure something out. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

  “I’ll only be gone two nights. I’ll leave Tony’s number. If something really bad happens you can call him and he’ll come help.”

  The thought of Tony touching Leah left a bad taste in Seth’s mouth despite how much he liked the guy.

  “Not to work with her personally,” Kaden clarified, correctly interpreting Seth’s expression. “To advise you on what to do. I already talked to him. He would come over only to talk you through things, be your safety net, so to speak.”

  That relieved him. That there would be backup a phone call away was reassuring. “I would still call you first.”

  “I would expect you to.”

  Kaden had a doctor’s appointment before he left. He took Seth with him. Leah was at a meeting for one of her nonprofits.

  The oncologist wasn’t enthusiastic, just pragmatic. “You seem to be stable.”

  “How long?”

  Seth sat in a chair in the corner and cringed. He didn’t want to hear this.

  The doctor shrugged. “You know I can’t give you a definite. It could be two months, or it could be two years. Realistically I would safely estimate a year at this rate of progression. Possibly longer. It was caught early, all things considered.”

  Seth felt hopeful. “Did you say two years? You said two years!”

  Kaden smirked. “And this is why I don’t bring Leah. She would only hear the good stuff and not reality.”

  The doctor shrugged again. “You’re refusing treatment. That would still buy you a few months.”

  Kaden firmly shook his head. “We’re not having that discussion again.”

  “Okay.”

  Seth quietly rode home with Kaden. Two years! That would…well, it would still suck that they’d lose Kaden, but he wasn’t taking a single day for granted.

  As if sensing his friend’s thoughts, Kaden said, “Don’t you say a word to her about the appointment. Especially two years. If you tell her that and it happens next month, it’ll kill her.”

  “I know. I won’t.” No, he wouldn’t tell Leah.

  But he’d hold on to his private, silent hope.

  * * * *

  The airport limo arrived early on Wednesday morning to drive Kaden up to Tampa International. The three of them took a few minutes hugging and saying good-bye. After Kaden hugged and kissed Leah, he hugged Seth. “Love you, man.”

  “Love you, too. Still not doing you.”

  Kaden laughed, which made Seth smile. “Still not doing you, either. Take care of our girl for me.” He shook his finger at Leah and dropped his voice. “You behave yourself. You listen to Sir, love. Remember, make Me proud.”

  Her skin flushed, and she nodded. “Yes, Master,” she whispered.

  “Good girl, love. I’ll be home day after tomorrow.” He hugged and kissed her one more time before stepping into the waiting car. When it drove off, Seth followed Leah into the house.

  Without classes to study for, Seth threw himself into his BDSM training. He had already read every book Kaden owned on the subject and spent hours practicing shibari with Leah. Later that afternoon they moved to the lanai for more whip training with the singletail.

  His aim had improved, although he didn’t trust himself with a live target yet, even one wearing protective clothing. He was still too erratic in his throwing style and worried about hurting someone. But he had worked up to forty-five minutes at a time with the thing.

  They quietly ate dinner on the couch in front of the TV. Seth felt Leah’s tension grow as the night wore on. Kaden called around nine, which helped her for a little while. Seth played guitar for her, sticking with more upbeat tunes he hoped would keep her out of her funk.

  While he’d made her come several times as part of their sessions, an admittedly irrational mental justification allowed him to see that as part of something necessary for her. But to make love to her in a romantic, give-and-take way still lay beyond his mental and emotional ability to cope with no matter how okay his body apparently was with it. Hell, he was still trying cope with the fact that Kaden was dying when he looked so healthy.

  They were just going to have to give him the time he needed to wrap his freaking head around it or he’d lose his mind.

  Close to bedtime he sensed her disquiet. He pulled an ace out of his sleeve.

  “Love”—it still felt strange to call her that—“I want you to sleep with me tonight. I’m very tired and just want to cuddle.” He leaned close and dropped his voice to a firm growl. “But only sleep. If you don’t behave, I’ll have to tell Master you were not a good girl.”

  She smiled. “I’ll behave.”

  He kissed her forehead. “Very good. I think I’d be more comfortable if you slept in my bed tonight. Go get ready.”

  “What should I wear to sleep in?”

  While he’d let her run around naked more often, there was no way he could share a bed with her naked. “Long T-shirt.” She started to look pouty, and he growled again. “Listen, I’m going to be sleeping with you. Remember, you’re letting me ease into this. It’s one step closer.”

  That lifted her spirits. She went to get ready, and he returned to his bedroom and left the door open.

  He usually slept naked, but tonight he put on a pair of sleeping shorts. No way in hell would he risk it.

  When they finally curled up together he spooned against her back and enjoyed the way his arm perfectly fit around her waist. Did she fit Kaden’s body this well?

  Oh, cut that shit out right now. That was not a healthy line of thought. Not a place he even wanted to think about going.

  Surprisingly, even though he thought his cock might want to
stiffen, he fell asleep. And he awoke from that sound sleep around two a.m., when he felt her shift in his arms and sit up.

  “What’s wrong?” he mumbled.

  She didn’t answer. His heart hammered in his chest, and he sat up, pulling her to him. “What’s wrong?”

  She still didn’t answer but let him pull her closer. “I miss him,” she finally whispered.

  “I know, babe.” He tried to relax. “It’s okay.”

  He coaxed her into lying down next to him, but she wasn’t settled by any stretch of the imagination. In a fit of inspiration, he told her to roll onto her stomach. She did.

  He gently stroked her back and enjoyed the soft, pleasant sounds she made at his touch.

  Now his cock tried to stiffen.

  “Do you need to feel the bite?” he whispered.

  “A little,” she admitted.

  He swatted her, bare-handed, across her ass. She jumped. He swatted her again, and he knew he didn’t imagine it when she wiggled her hips against his hand and buried her face deeper into her pillow.

  He spanked her as hard as he could, a total of twenty swats, leaving his hand stinging. When he finished she was breathing heavily, her body practically vibrating on the mattress next to him.

  “Where are we, love?”

  “Green, Sir,” she said with a sigh.

  He slid one hand between her legs and found her clit. She squirmed against the mattress, and in a few minutes she moaned into the pillow when she came.

  It was almost like she melted into the bed from the sudden relaxation that swept over her.

  He curled around her again, hoping she was too out of it to feel his stiff erection pressing against her backside.

  After another hour, he finally fell asleep.

  * * * *

  When he awoke the next morning, he almost panicked when he realized she wasn’t in bed with him. “Leah?”

  “I’m getting coffee,” she called from the kitchen.