Initiative Read online

Turning, she spotted John’s urn sitting on the shelf in the living room. She walked over to it and stared at it. “I hope you’d like them, Master,” she said. “They took good care of me back then, and I know they’ll take good care of me now. You told me you wanted me to go on living. I think I finally found my reason to do just that.”

  Now that she had a second chance, she damn sure would take the initiative and make sure she didn’t lose the men again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Grant texted her a little before eleven that he’d be heading over soon. She was waiting, naked, wearing her collar and cuffs, kneeling in the front hallway for him.

  His cock thickened as soon as he saw her there. He closed and locked the door behind him and set his bag down, walking over to her to greet her.

  “Such a good girl,” he murmured, stroking her hair as she leaned in to nuzzle her head against the front of his jeans. “My very good girl. I didn’t even have to ask you to be ready.”

  “Is Kyle okay, Sir?”

  “He’ll be fine. He talked some more after you left. I think he really is serious this time about moving in with us.” He helped her to her feet and kissed her. “Question is, are you going to be okay with that?”

  “Absolutely. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Kind of cuts into some of the crazy plans we’d had.” He smirked. “Less nakey time.”

  “This is a little more important. As long as I’ve got you two in my life, nakey or not, I’m happy.”

  He hugged her. “Good girl.”

  “I found my dice.” She led him to the kitchen and he smiled when he saw the pictures.

  “Wow. Look at those two goofy dudes.” He picked up the prom picture, a wistful look on his face. “You know, that night when I finally got home, I think I rubbed three or four out.”

  She snorted. “How romantic.”

  He set the picture down and turned her to face him. “You have no idea. I didn’t understand stuff back then. None of us did. I had fantasies about both of you. That’s another reason I never got serious about anyone in college or later, until Darryl. I already knew, deep in my heart, who I wanted to be with. It was just a matter of time, learning, waiting, until I had a chance with Darryl. I never thought I’d see you again. I definitely didn’t want to lose him.”

  “You knew Chelsey wouldn’t last, didn’t you?”

  “Unfortunately. I did some snooping, too. She had user profiles all over the place on all the dating sites that were starting to pop up back then. She’s still as much of an idiot now, sad to say. And I was in IT, even back then. I tried to gently nudge Darryl into taking things slow with her, but at the time he was kind of spooked by his true feelings and jumped into a marriage with her.”

  “Spooked?”

  “He admitted it to me later after he and I hooked up. When I was finally able to show him about BDSM, and convinced him being gay or bi was far from the worst thing in the world. Certainly not worse than denying your true self and staying stuck in a crappy marriage that wasn’t working, to a woman cheating on him and lying to him.”

  “Is that the reason you fought so hard to stay in his life as his friend?”

  “Yep. I knew if she isolated him totally, he was done. I wouldn’t let her push me away as his friend no matter how bitchy she was to me.” He grinned. “It really pissed her off when Darryl put his foot down and insisted I would be Kyle’s godfather.”

  “Did she even want to have a kid?”

  “Honestly? I don’t think so. She apparently forgot to take her birth control for a couple of days when they were on vacation and that’s when it happened.”

  “Forgot?”

  “Seriously. She was too wrapped up in the trip. She’s a fucking airhead, if you didn’t guess. Thank god Kyle takes after Darryl in the brains and looks department or the poor kid would be totally screwed.”

  “So what do you want to do tonight, Sir?” She draped her arms around his neck.

  His hands slid down her back and settled on her ass. “I want to take you to bed and make sweet love to you before we collapse.” He let out a yawn. “Sorry. Long weekend and then tonight’s stress. Let’s get cracking on that lovemaking before I fall asleep on you.”

  She led him into the bedroom. After undressing, he sat on the end of the bed and patted his lap. “Head to my left.”

  Her heart raced, her pussy already getting wet as she knew what was coming. She laid facedown over his thighs, her breath catching as his left hand settled on the back of her neck, fingers hooked around her collar.

  His right hand stroked her ass and thighs. “You didn’t even ask why, sweetheart. Such a good girl. You are wonderfully well-trained. I love it. And you have a gorgeous, spankable ass.” He squeezed her left ass cheek, then her right, digging his fingers in as he did.

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “No, thank you.” He brought his hand down, hard, on her left ass cheek, then her right.

  Her toes curled as it felt like a rollercoaster ride in her soul, the long, hard climb before dumping her deep into subspace.

  She didn’t know how long he spanked her, only that she was so horny by the time he got done that she thought she might orgasm as soon as he touched her clit. When he helped her up, she was pleased to see that his cock was hard.

  He noticed her looking and smiled. “I’ve never denied I was a sadist,” he said. “I warned you about that.”

  “Yes, Sir,” she said. “Didn’t say I was complaining, either.”

  He patted the bed. “Hands and knees,” he said. “I cannot get enough of you, even though my almost-forty-year-old body wants sleep.” He smiled.

  She climbed up on the bed, wiggling her hips at him.

  “Oh, don’t tempt me, baby. I could spank you with my other hand. Lucky for you I forgot to sneak implements out.”

  “I have some…”

  He snorted. “You slaves sometimes have a bad habit of forgetting about self-preservation, you know that?” He stroked her ass. “But don’t worry. Right now, I want to feel you coming around my cock so we can go to sleep and dream happy dreams.”

  He knelt behind her, swiping the head of his cock up and down between her legs before sliding home into her pussy.

  “Oh, yeah,” he gasped. “That’s what I wanted.” He reached around her, and just as she’d suspected, it didn’t take him long to make her come with his fingers on her clit.

  That’s when he started thrusting, hard and fast. “Maybe it’s a good thing I’ve got a middle-aged body,” he said. “We would have had six or eight kids…by…now.” He let out a satisfied groan as he fell still.

  He rolled to his side, taking her with him, his wilting cock still buried inside her.

  She snuggled tightly against him, the warmth of his body flowing through her.

  It almost felt like the last two years hadn’t happened. Like she hadn’t grieved, hadn’t been alone.

  Hadn’t been slowly dying inside without her body quite getting the memo that her heart and brain didn’t want to keep going, struggling every day just to find a reason to live.

  She was drifting off to sleep when he spoke. “Did you ever think about kids?”

  Her eyes popped open. “Why?”

  “Just asking.”

  She looked back at him. “Why, Sir?”

  He stroked her arm. “It’s not a deal-breaker, don’t worry. If it never happens, that’s cool, too. But if you decided you wanted to have kids, it’s a conversation I wouldn’t mind having.”

  “You don’t think that’s rushing things?”

  “I’m not rushing you. I’m only putting it out there. I might be your Master, but I will not force you one way or the other on this topic.”

  Her heart raced. “Can we table it for now, Sir?”

  “For now, or forever.” He kissed her. “Just giving you something to think about, in case you wanted to.”

  He fell asleep, leaving her lying there, now wide awake, mind racing.

 
Yes, she’d wanted kids with John. They’d deliberately waited, knowing by waiting they were taking a risk, but wanting to be able to devote their full energy to the business and each other.

  Then they’d started talking about it again. They had thought about her going off the pill when…

  Money wasn’t an issue for her now. She never would have thought about having a baby while she was alone.

  And it wouldn’t have been John’s baby.

  But now…

  It could be Grant or Darryl’s baby…

  Was she crazy? Was all of this crazy? It wasn’t like they were complete strangers. Despite the years between them, it felt like they were kids again.

  Only now they could stay out late, take the car, and even drink if they wanted to.

  Not all at the same time, but still, they could do it.

  She’d resigned herself to mere survival.

  Now…

  Maybe she really could have everything she’d once dreamed of and had thought had slipped through her fingers.

  Definitely something for me to think about.

  * * * *

  She was still thinking about it the next morning while they took a shower together.

  “Can we talk, Sir?”

  “We can always talk, sweetheart.”

  “About what we discussed last night.”

  He met her gaze. “About a baby?”

  She nodded. “I know it’s still too soon to really talk about that yet…but…maybe. Let’s get settled in this first, let Kyle get to know me, and then we’ll revisit the discussion in a few months.”

  A slow smile filled his face. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’m tired of my life being on hold, or being afraid. It’s not like you’re someone I’ve just met. This is…this is different. This is good. I have a good feeling about it. About the three of us.”

  He pulled her to him and kissed her. “Sweetheart, I love you so fucking much, believe me, I won’t let you get away again.”

  She smiled. “Just try getting rid of me.”

  “Never.”

  When Susie arrived at work a little after eight, Kristin followed her in with a mug of coffee and an odd look on her face.

  “What?” Susie asked.

  “What’s going on?”

  Susie blushed. “What?”

  Kristin set the mug of coffee on Susie’s desk, went and shut her office door, and returned to sit in front of the desk. “Okay. Yesterday you dodged my questions about the weekend. I’m not leaving here until you answer me.”

  “What?”

  “You’re happy! Not that I’m complaining, but what, did you…” Kristin gasped. “Oh, my god. You did. You got laid.”

  “Shh!”

  “Was it one of your friends?”

  Susie was sure her face must be beet red. She sat down and grabbed the mug. “It was a good weekend, and that’s all I’m saying.”

  Kristin grinned from ear to ear. “When do I get to meet him?”

  “How do you know you will?”

  “Oh, come on. He’s got to be local. I can’t believe you’d get into a long-distance relationship.”

  She didn’t want to shock Kristin. “Let’s just say maybe something is going on. Something good. Something I absolutely do not want to jinx, and it’s no one else’s business. But yes, I’m…happy.”

  “Duh. I know you’re happy.” She stood. “For the record? I wouldn’t even care if you told me you’d hooked up with a woman. Anyone who can put that smile on your face is good enough for me.”

  Susie cupped her hands around the mug and fought the urge to laugh.

  If only she knew. If only it were that simple.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Saturday night, Susie nervously stood in front of her mirror. “Are you sure this is okay?” She wore the same little black dress she’d worn to the reunion last Saturday night.

  Darryl stood behind her, smiling. “You look gorgeous.”

  “But I’m not…you know…kinked up.”

  He chuckled. “Kinked up?”

  “I mean I’m not wearing a corset or anything.”

  “It’s dinner. And at the club you’ll see people dressed in everything from completely naked, to street clothes, to full-on fetish. Hell, one of the volunteers in the office, she has fibromyalgia and usually wears jeans and Crocs because it’s comfortable. No one judges her.”

  “Well, that one asshole did,” Grant snarked.

  “Yeah, and Marcia promptly revoked his membership and banned him for general asshattery.”

  “True.”

  Susie turned. “They can do that?”

  “Uh, yeah,” Darryl said. “It’s Marcia and Derrick’s club. They can ban anyone for any reason.”

  “I hope they don’t ban me.”

  She spotted the nearly exasperated glance the men exchanged.

  “Hey, I’ve never been to one of these places, all right? I’m nervous.”

  Darryl pulled her in for another hug while Grant stepped in behind her.

  “Sweetie, you need to relax,” Darryl said. “Forget the bullshit from books and movies. Think about it like this. The people you’ll meet tonight, they’re more like geeky gamer cosplay Ren Fair friends who took it up a few adult notches.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” Grant said. “Actually, X-rated cosplay isn’t too far off the mark, sometimes.”

  “And Rusty and Eliza will be there,” Darryl reminded her. “You already know them.”

  “True.” Wednesday night’s game had been amazing. They’d quickly worked her new character into the campaign and she’d had fun relearning the rules and getting to meet everyone.

  And it’d been so much fun to see Rusty and Eliza similarly unchanged by the years. He was still the big goofball he’d always been, and Eliza was still reining him in.

  Literally, now, but it wasn’t a stretch for Susie to see how their dynamic had always been like that. Even as kids it had reminded Susie of a knight and his Lady, fitting since they’d been in SCA. Just because Rusty was submissive to his wife didn’t mean he was a wimp by any stretch of the imagination.

  Just like the last word she’d think of to describe Darryl would be wimp.

  She’d been to Sigalo’s before. It was a Sarasota staple of fine dining. Not the most expensive place, but a few notches up from Pizza Hut, for sure.

  Walking between her men, with them each holding a hand, they led her inside and to the back of the restaurant where several tables had been pushed together. Eliza immediately stood and swooped in to hug her. They’d saved them three seats next to them, and she staked claim on Susie sitting next to her so she could talk to her and introduce her to several others on that end of the table.

  Grant ended up in the middle between her and Darryl. She felt a little badly about that, until Darryl leaned in and kissed her. “Hey, it’s cool, because we both get to share Master,” he whispered, smiling.

  True. This poly stuff was still new to her. She was eager to have as much time with both men as she could, but she couldn’t forget they’d been friends the entire time she’d been out of the picture, and in a relationship for a couple of years already.

  Directly across from her sat a woman, two men to her right. “This is Tilly,” Eliza introduced. “And that’s her husband, Landry, two seats over, and next to her is Cris. He’s hers, too.”

  “Her what?”

  Tilly smiled. “Exactly. The jury’s still out. Depends on my mood, usually.”

  Cris, without even breaking the conversation he was currently in with someone across the table, reached over, grabbed a handful of Tilly’s hair, and tipped her head back. “Your mood, hmm?”

  “I’m thinking today I’m feeling kind of subby,” Tilly said.

  Cris kissed her, and hell, even Susie wanted to go climb Grant or Darryl like a damn tree when the man finally let her up.

  “Subby?” Cris asked.

  Tilly swallowed hard. “Dammit, that’s s
o not fair. I’m still on London time. You’re using a shortcut to undermine my defenses.”

  Landry turned toward them. “Cris, are you tormenting our poor girl?”

  “Of course, Sir.”

  “Excellent. Carry on.”

  Tilly let out a squeak, which made everyone close enough to hear the exchange roar with laughter.

  Even Eliza looked amused. She leaned in so she could whisper. “She wasn’t supposed to be back for a few weeks yet. They’ve been without her for a month. I’m surprised they even let her out of bed to come here tonight.”

  “They’re…”

  Eliza nodded. “Like you guys. Well, sort of. No one’s like Tilly.”

  “Thank god,” Rusty playfully muttered on Eliza’s other side.

  Tilly, who’d been released by Cris after another kiss, stuck her tongue out at Rusty. “Just be glad she doesn’t let me beat your ass, barbarian.”

  “Oh, believe me, I am.”

  Ed and his wife, Hope, arrived and they made room for them around the table, too. It was a little uncomfortable for Susie, at first, until she realized everyone at the table knew her attorney far better than she did on a personal level.

  * * * *

  When Susie excused herself to go to the bathroom, Grant caught Ed’s eye and motioned for him to take a walk. He and Darryl went out to the foyer to talk to the man.

  “How is she?” Ed asked.

  “She’s nervous as hell,” Grant said. “But we got her here.”

  “I was shocked when you called me this week. I can’t say the circumstances surprise me. If I could have figured out a way to get her involved sooner, I would have. But I couldn’t break my promise to John not to say anything about knowing all of this.”

  “She said there’s another letter,” Grant said.

  “Yes?” It was more a question than a statement.

  “Is there, or isn’t there?”

  “There is, but there are also certain parameters that have to be met.”

  “I’m collaring her in four weeks.” Grant looked at Darryl. “That’s the next Sunday you have off, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We’re doing it that Saturday night. And that gives us a few weeks to make sure she’s really okay with all of this.”