Empty-Handed Heart Read online

  Stupid body.

  Etsu wanted to be naked and collared and kneeling next to Aden.

  Niall looked at her. “Yeeees, pet?”

  She pointed at herself.

  He smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Yer his. That makes ye mine by default. If ye’ll have me.”

  She nodded. “Please?”

  “I…uh…haven’t formally collared her yet,” Aden reminded him. “We were working toward that.”

  Niall arched an eyebrow at him. “Is that so?”

  She wondered when he was going to let Aden up off the floor, or if someone was going to come in and bust them, but this was…

  Okay, it was haaaawt.

  Niall’s focus returned to her. “Serious question, pet. I’m not always an easy man to live with. He can tell ye sometimes I’m stubborn and contrary and sadistic for my own amusement in non-painful ways that might twinge yer pride more than a little.”

  He held out a hand, indicating Aden. “Case in point, I once had him kneel in front of me for thirty minutes at an airport gate while we awaited the call to board our flight because he got lippy with me. Made him unpack and repack our carryons while he did, so it seemed like he had a logical reason for doin’ it and not exposing any vanillas to what we were doin’, but I still had him on his knees.”

  “You were going to make us late, Sir.”

  “Did we not make the flight on time, with plenty of time to spare?”

  Aden rolled his eyes, but she didn’t miss his smirk. “Yes, Sir.”

  She wanted this with them. The easy repartee, the fun, the silly mixed with the serious.

  The sex was great, but that’s not what made this so damned hot.

  It was the chemistry the two of them had, the chemistry she felt with each of them—and the three of them together—that made this perfect.

  “As I was sayin,” Niall continued, “it’s not all bunnies and kittens. He’s mine. Not yers. If ye wish to be mine as well, mine ye’ll be. Not his. Means my word is law.” He glanced at Aden again before taking her hands in his. “Ye barely know me, so I can understand if ye need time. That man is my heart and soul and I know he’d never fall for someone who wasn’t worthy of him. Well, except for me.” He smiled and she knew what he was trying to do, to smooth down the serious edges of this, keep her calm.

  Keep a heavy subject light.

  “I want to be yours, Sir.”

  He gently squeezed her hands. “Yer family’s gonna be a problem, aren’t they?”

  She didn’t want to think about that, but she wouldn’t lie. “Yes, Sir.”

  “All right then, love. I won’t hide in the shadows. If ye want me, ye take all of me, in all ways, just like I take all of ye. We don’t lie about who we are to each other. Eh, the kinky stuff, of course, stays private. But if we go somewhere, ye don’t get to say, ‘Oh, this is our friend, Niall,’ just to make it easy. When I introduce ye, yer both mine, and I’ll tell people that, too.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Show me how ye’d do that, then. To someone vanilla.”

  His blue eyes mesmerized her, even though she knew he wasn’t doing anything to her right now except talking. She wasn’t hypnotized. They were negotiating.

  She glanced over at Aden, who smiled and nodded.

  Her gaze returned to his. “These are my boyfriends, Niall and Aden.”

  “How’d it feel sayin’ it, love?”

  “Terrifying. But good.”

  Niall’s gaze didn’t leave hers. “Who’s she belong to, then, agra?”

  “You, Mháistir,” Aden said without hesitation.

  His smile widened. “Who’s he belong to, then, pet?”

  “You, Sir.”

  “And who do you belong to?”

  It was a freeing kind of scary to step out into the void and know that not only would Niall catch her, but so would Aden. “You, Sir.”

  “That’s right, pet.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead again, long and lingering. “Ye do. Mine.”

  When he straightened he glanced around, then spotted his laptop bag, which he’d brought into the ER with him when they’d arrived. He dug through it, made a triumphant sound, then looked around and spotted a small row of plastic storage bins fixed to the wall, labelled with items commonly needed in the ER. He opened one, plucked out a small alcohol swab, then she couldn’t see what he did because his back was turned.

  When he turned back to her, he returned to her right side and stared down at her. The smile was gone, his expression now serious, no trace of humor.

  “Ask me proper, pet. If ye mean it. We can do this for a while as we are, if ye’d like, but I would prefer ye move in completely with us. Frankly, I’m tired of this nonsense of ye havin’ another apartment and worryin’ ye about the extra expense and stress. Yer place is with us. Ask me, and know that this is it, just the three of us, no one else. No one touches the two of ye but me. Well, and each other. But my rule is law, and I will punish if ye break one.”

  “He will,” Aden chimed in.

  “We start over with rules, and some of what he had with ye might not be rules I put in place. And as you’ve seen, I’ll be permanently marking ye as mine, the way Aden is. So ask me proper.”

  The world outside of these two men might disapprove, except it didn’t matter. She loved them, wanted them, but especially Niall. It also didn’t matter she hadn’t known him that long—she didn’t need more time. She loved Aden and knew how he felt about Niall.

  That was good enough for her.

  “I want to be your slave, Master.”

  “Agra,” he snapped. “Here.”

  Aden must have levitated, because he was suddenly standing next to Niall before his words even died in the air.

  Niall gently tipped her head to the left and pointed at something.

  She felt Aden remove the earring from her right ear. Just an inexpensive stud earring, today’s set were unicorns. She didn’t like to wear hoops or dangly earrings at work because it was too easy for them to tangle in the headset she wore for the phones.

  Then she smelled alcohol and felt Niall wipe her ear lobe with a pad. She felt terrified for a second when Aden held her head still, but then she felt Niall inserting something in the empty hole, not hurting her, but it felt…weird. It took him a moment of tugging and twisting to get it seated exactly like he wanted, but he looked proudly possessive when he finished. He tossed the used alcohol pad in the garbage and held out his hand for the earring Aden had taken from her. That he slipped into his pocket.

  Both men were smiling now. “Mine ye are, love. That’ll do for now. We’ll take care of it proper once yer on the mend and I can make an appointment.”

  She reached up and felt it.

  “A paperclip?”

  “I should have added he’s very inventive,” Aden said. “Great at improvisation and using pervertibles.”

  “Bloody well had to be with ye,” Niall said. “Keepin’ me on my toes all the time.”

  “You loved it and you know it.”

  “Of course I did. Never said I didn’t.” He kissed Aden, then leaned in to press another kiss to her forehead. “Sorry it’s not more right now, but that stays in place until I remove it. Yer not to feel silly over it, either. I put it there, it’s my mark on ye. My collar. Understand?”

  Her heart raced and she nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

  Aden leaned in and kissed her forehead the way Niall had. “That’s my very good girl.”

  “Ahem,” Niall said.

  He grinned. “Our very good girl?”

  Niall looked stern for a moment before the grin took over. “Gobshite.” But he pulled Aden in for a long, sweet kiss.

  “Asshole,” Aden muttered against his lips.

  Niall snorted, pulling back just a little to arch an eyebrow at him.

  “Asshole, Sir,” Aden said.

  “That’s better, pet.” He nuzzled Aden’s forehead. “Much better.”

  Cha
pter Eighteen

  Niall ran home to grab an overnight bag so he could spend the night at her bedside, despite Etsu insisting they didn’t have to do that. Aden stayed with her while he did. In the mean time, they got her admitted to a regular room, and the men ate takeout for dinner Niall brought back with him while Etsu dozed. She didn’t have much of an appetite, especially with the meds they’d pumped into her. They’d finally swapped the oxygen mask out for a cannula as her stats improved.

  Later, once Aden had headed home, Niall snuggled with her in her hospital bed to watch TV.

  He wouldn’t deny he’d been scared when he’d arrived at her job to find the ambulance crew there working on her.

  “Thank you, Sir,” she said.

  He kissed her forehead. “Ye sure argued with me enough about me stayin’.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Why do I get the feeling something’s bothering ye besides the obvious?”

  “This is going to wipe me out,” she quietly said. “My bank account.”

  “What about yer insurance?”

  “High as hell deductible so I can afford it. It’s good for my doctor appointments and meds, because of the low copays there. But something like this? It’s going to be at least ten thousand. Probably a lot more. And I don’t have that kind of money.”

  “Bloody hell.” He made her look at him. “Seriously?”

  She nodded.

  “Good thing ye’ll be livin’ with us full-time now, then.”

  “I don’t feel like I’m contributing my full share, though.”

  “We told ye how much we want ye to pay a month, and that’s what we meant.”

  “But you only want two hundred dollars a month!”

  “Ye have other expenses. Between the gobshite and me, we have it handled.”

  “Why do you call him that?”

  “Same reason he calls me asshole.” He kissed her forehead. “Because he loves me.”

  The men had unilaterally made the decision about her monetary contribution behind her back, since Aden knew how much she made a month. Once they’d put their pencils to their monthly incomes, and the household expenses, along with their personal expenses, they didn’t want her paying a lot into the household fund. And what she did pay, they’d put in savings in case she had an emergency.

  Like…this.

  But Niall hadn’t realized how horrible her health insurance was.

  Later that night, with her sound asleep in bed, he took his phone out into the hall to call Aden.

  “How’s she doing?”

  “Asleep. Listen, did ye know how bad her insurance is?”

  “What?”

  “Yeah.” He told him the situation.

  “Son of a bitch. Hold on.” He heard Aden tapping on his laptop. “Mine’s a lot better than that. Maybe we need to make an executive decision.”

  “As in…?”

  “I marry her.”

  “Eh, agra, forgettin’ somethin’, are ye?”

  “Well, what do you suggest?”

  “That before we decide anything, we look at my insurance.” Silence. “Ade?”

  “Marry her?”

  “Isn’t that what we’re discussin’?”

  “But…” He didn’t continue.

  “I’m not leavin’. I swear it. If yer insurance is better, fine. If mine’s better, it should be me, right? If she’ll have either one of us sods, that is.”

  “You mean it?”

  Niall closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. “In a perfect world, agra, we’d be celebrating our anniversary several times over by now.” He felt…exhausted, bone weary. “I screwed up. I won’t repeat it. But maybe this is for the best, right? We have the chance to do this. Take care of our girl.”

  “Ours?”

  “Ours.” He opened his eyes again. “I was terrified when I got there. I knew as soon as I saw the ambulance it was about her. I thought bloody hell, she’s gone, and I wasn’t there to help her. I nearly cried with relief when I saw her sitting up and trying to talk. I’m sorry I didn’t call ye sooner, but I was so focused on her—”

  “It’s okay, Ni,” Aden said. “Look, find your benefits stuff and send it to me to look at before I go to bed. I’ll run the numbers, okay? Then we’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

  “Right.” He sniffled. “I love ye. I truly do. Doesn’t matter which one of us marries her, we’re both wearing rings.”

  “Damn right we are.”

  When he got off the phone with him, Niall pulled up his e-mail and found the information, forwarding it to Aden.

  Aden texted Niall twenty minutes later.

  Etsu Renard, it is. Asshole. ;)

  Niall smiled as he replied.

  I’ll let you kiss the bride first and put the ring on her finger, gobshite. ;)

  * * * *

  The next morning, Niall was still with Etsu because the doctors were talking about discharging her. It was nearly nine o’clock, and Niall didn’t have any patients until that afternoon.

  Etsu had been disconnected from the IV line, but she still had the IV in place in case they needed to give her more meds. She was in the bathroom when a frantic-looking young woman ran into the room.

  “Where’s Ets! They said she’s in this room!”

  He stood. “She’s in the bathroom. Who are ye?”

  “Who am I? Who the fuck are you? Ets!”

  “I’m her boyfriend, and would ye please stop yelling.”

  “Boyfriend? Where’s Aden?”

  “He’s at work, not that it’s any of yer bloody business.”

  Etsu burst out of the bathroom, holding her hospital gown closed in the back. “Molly? What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Oh, my god! Ets!” She threw her arms around her, hugging her. “Why didn’t you call me!”

  “Because I don’t want my fucking parents to know! How’d you find out?”

  “I wanted to put eyes on you because your mom keeps calling me, so I stopped by your job on the way in. I saw your car but the security guy told me what happened, and—”

  Etsu wheeled around. “Niall, call the nurse. Right now. I want out of here.”

  “They haven’t discharged ye yet!”

  She grabbed the bag he’d brought for her with fresh clothes and yanked off the gown. “Because my parents will be showing up soon, and I do not want to see them. If they won’t write me discharge orders, I’ll walk my happy ass out of here against doctor’s orders and take the IV out myself. I’ve had enough of them, it’s not that hard to do.”

  Confused, he looked from her to Molly. “But how do ye know she told—Right, never mind, love. I’ll get the nurse.”

  * * * *

  Etsu hated feeling this angry, but she wasn’t going to hang around. “How much of a head-start do I have on them, huh?”

  Molly grabbed her arm. “They love you. Why can’t you see that?”

  Etsu shook her off. “Because they treat me like a damn infant when I’m thirty-one years old.”

  Molly gasped.

  “What?” Etsu turned and swore as she looked at her ass, where fading marks from a few days earlier could be seen.

  “Who did that to you? Did that guy do that? Where have you been?”

  Goddammit! “It’s consensual, ‘that guy’ is one of my two boyfriends, and my current living arrangement is none of your damn business, because you damn sure don’t respect my privacy. I’ll have all my shit out by the end of the month.” She pulled on her clothes and started packing as Niall returned.

  “They’re coming, love. Doctor already wrote the discharge orders and prescriptions.”

  “Great.” She turned to Molly. “You. Out.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. Out. I’m done screwing around. I told Mom that until they’re ready to apologize to me and Aden for how they treated him, and they stop treating me like a kid, I’m not talking to them.”

  “But…you just said you’re not with Aden anymore, are y
ou?”

  Etsu got in her face. “I have two boyfriends.” She held up two fingers. “We live together, the three of us. If they hated Aden, I can guarantee you they are going to fucking despise Niall. Aden was polite to them, but Niall will not tolerate their bullshit.”

  Molly’s eyes widened in shock. “What is wrong with you!”

  Etsu held her hand over her head and sliced it sideways, indicating the level. “I’ve hit my fuck-it point with this family. Now, not sure if Mom and Dad’s great plan was for me to stay home like a good girl and end up taking care of them when they’re older, but I’ve got a hot news flash for them. If they wanted my help later on in life, they shouldn’t have tried to deprive me of the life I want now. Oh, and I’ve been involved in BDSM for a couple of years already, Molly. This predates Aden and Niall.”

  The nurse arrived and removed her IV, as well as went through discharge instructions. She signed as quickly as possible and when Molly tried to follow them into the elevator, Etsu actually put her hand out to stop her and punched the door close button until it did.

  It wasn’t until they were practically running out of the elevator on the first floor that she realized she hadn’t even thought twice about getting into it.

  “Hey, I didn’t freak out in the elevator! That’s personal growth, right?”

  Niall led her through the hospital to the emergency entrance, where his car was parked. “I can’t contemplate that right now, pet, but I’d say yes, probably.” He was carrying all the stuff, refusing to let her carry anything other than her purse.

  As they were driving out of the parking lot, she ducked down. “Fuck, that was close.”

  “What?”

  “That was them that just turned in. Please, get me home.”

  “That’s where we’re headin’, pet.”

  Niall didn’t want to leave her alone, but she didn’t want him to miss work. She was missing enough as it was. After a phone consultation with Aden, the men finally agreed to leave her home alone, as long as she kept her phone on her, turned on, and replied to their texts immediately.

  Niall no sooner left than her mother called.

  Fuck it.

  “Yeah?”