Vicious Carousel Read online

  She agreed that, for the purpose of play and sex, she would be their submissive. Outside of the bedroom or dungeon—or outside of play or sex in general—the rest of her life was absolutely and completely hers to rule and command, as long as it didn’t involve her getting involved with anyone but the men. If she found herself in that position, it would put a full stop to everything so they could sit down and discuss it.

  She didn’t think that would be a problem. For starters, these were the only men she wanted. Her heart already belonged to them.

  Getting herself over her fear, her worry about making bad choices? That had nothing to do with what she felt for them and everything to do with knowing to have a successful relationship with them she had to do this self-work.

  Tilly called and they took a break as Betsy closed herself in her bedroom to talk to her friend on the phone.

  “So what’s up for today?” Tilly asked.

  Betsy hoped Tilly didn’t blow up. “A couple of things.” She told her about talking to Kel about the apartment.

  Then she revealed what she and the men had been discussing that morning.

  Betsy had to look to make sure the call was still connected. “Tilly?”

  Her friend’s sigh made it all the way from LA. “I’m really proud of you,” she said. “No, I can’t find fault with your logic.”

  “Am I doing the right thing?”

  “You love them, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you’ll be pursuing a relationship with them?”

  “Yeah. But I want to make sure I don’t end up on the same vicious carousel I was on before when I dated vanilla guys. And I damn sure don’t want to end up with another Jack.”

  “They aren’t Jack,” Tilly said.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Then I guess you’d better make sure you do what you need to do. But I’ll give you the same warning I gave them—don’t fuck up or fuck them over. Don’t spend so much time trying to make up your mind that you lose them anyway. Life’s too short to play games or waste time.”

  “I won’t do that. I promise. I’ve wasted enough time in my life. That’s why I want to do this, so I can move forward. Hopefully, with them.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  By the time they were ready to head for the club that night, they’d ironed out all the hard and soft limits. Yes to sex, across the board. For play, they would start slow and build up. She worried if they restrained her with anything other than their hands that she might panic, memories of what Jack had done to her fresh in her mind. She wanted to be able to build new memories, new trust, and not trigger in a bad way.

  At the club when they played, only her men could touch her, and they wouldn’t play with anyone but her. They would buy her a play collar to wear at the club, or when they were together privately.

  For now, they’d avoid heavy impact play, and no canes. Light impact play, bare-handed spanking, flogging, riding crops, orgasm play.

  Yes to all of that.

  But the things Jack had done to her, the activities he’d taken and turned into punishments, those she wanted to avoid for now. On her future list of things to reclaim lay those favorite activities, like cane strokes during orgasm play, but not now.

  Not until she knew for sure she could handle it.

  Or that the men could handle it with her in case she triggered badly.

  Tilly must have passed the word around to their friends that they were going tonight, because Loren, Eliza, Gabe, Laura, Brooke, Abbey, and June were all there when Betsy and her men arrived. Not even all their men had come with them. Rob, Bill, Rusty, and Scrye were missing.

  Betsy asked her men for a moment alone with her friends and turned to the women once Nolan and Kenny moved out of earshot. “Oookaaay. What’s up? This doesn’t look at alll suspicious.”

  June smirked. “The first rule about the dungeon is—”

  “Shh,” Loren said. “We’re here for you. And them, too. Because, to be honest? For a couple of guys getting ready to play for the first time with a girl they’re head-over crazy about? They look a little depressed.”

  Apparently Tilly hadn’t had time to spread that part of the tale. Betsy filled her friends in, feeling relieved when they all slowly nodded.

  “Okay,” June said. “Now I get why they look sad. But I get it. Yeah, if you feel you need to do it, you should. Just don’t leave them dangling too long out there.”

  “I won’t.”

  “We’re still staying,” Eliza said. “Until you guys are done, at least.”

  “You know they won’t violate my safeword,” Betsy told her.

  “Oh, I know. It’s the principle of the matter. Besides, some of us would like to see you play again, because we want to get the memory of how horrible you looked those first several days out of our heads.”

  “And I’m just a perv,” June joked, hugging her. “I want to watch.”

  * * * *

  Betsy returned to her men. “Okay. Now that we have our own cheering section, I guess we can get started.”

  “June’s not going to hold up numbers to score us or something, is she?” Nolan teased. “Because, I swear, she’d be like the Russian judge just to be a pest, I know she would.”

  “Nope. They just want to see us happy.”

  The men stepped in close, Nolan in front of her, Kenny behind. She felt hard bulges in both their jeans, but they’d have to wait until they got back home.

  “Ready to play?” Nolan asked.

  She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Get undressed.”

  With Kenny’s help, she pulled off her dress and kicked off her shoes. Then her panties, and she was standing there, naked. The men had put a towel down on the bench for her and helped her onto it.

  She didn’t want a gag or a blindfold tonight. She needed to feel as safe as possible, focusing on what they were doing to her, not what she couldn’t do.

  Closing her eyes, she breathed out stress and worry and fear as the men’s strong hands stroked her flesh, slowly exploring, feeling, caressing. Yes, it was a little odd that their first truly physically intimate time would be at a dungeon and not alone, but it was better this way. When they returned home, she’d be ready to play in other ways, having had her fears well-allayed already.

  Because if this didn’t go well, there wouldn’t be sexy time later, and the men knew it.

  Nolan squeezed her ass cheeks, easing up just before it got painful. Then he lightly smacked her on both ass cheeks…

  And it was on.

  They almost didn’t go hard enough, but she didn’t tell them that. They used floggers on her, their hands, a leather strap—nothing she hadn’t okayed, and not even some of the more strict implements she had okayed.

  Then one of them was slapping her ass—she wasn’t sure who and didn’t want to open her eyes to look—and she heard the sound of a vibrator clicking to life with a loud hum.

  A hand slipped between her legs, exploring, and withdrew. She arched her back as the vibrator then made contact with her clit.

  Her fingers curled around the ends of the bench. She didn’t bother trying to hold back her cries. She hadn’t heard anyone else playing yet and knew she likely wasn’t bothering someone’s headspace. The hands stopped slapping her ass, leaving only the vibrator and her orgasm.

  Kenny leaned in. “That’s our good girl,” he murmured in her ear. “Just think how good it might feel at home, with one cock in your mouth and another in your pussy at the same time.”

  That thought only made her come harder. Yes, the fantasy of having the two of them at the same time was now looking like a pretty certain reality.

  Oh, sweet mother dick, she couldn’t wait.

  She didn’t know how long she lay squirming there on the bench with Kenny’s hands roaming her flesh while Nolan kept the vibrator perfectly positioned. Just as she thought she might have to safeword, the vibrator shut off and the men draped a towel over her.

>   Gasping for breath, she laid there and tried to process it.

  “Good?” Nolan asked.

  She nodded, blindly groping for their hands, finding them, squeezing them.

  “Great,” she whispered.

  * * * *

  They didn’t stay long after that. Once she was up and coherent again, she wanted to get home with them and get busy.

  They didn’t disappoint.

  In their bedroom, they slowly stripped her again, this time worshipping her body with their mouths as they did. Her nipples, her clit, all over, lips and tongues, in delicious, orgasmic stereo. When they finally got naked, she was pleased to see both men were around eight inches, nicely hung, thank you very much. She’d suspected as much from accidental glimpses here and there, not to mention the way they’d felt earlier through their jeans.

  Nolan laid back on the bed and crooked a finger at her. She crawled up him, kissing him, loving the feel of his body under her, his length rubbing against her clit.

  She felt Kenny’s hands between her legs and realized he was rolling a condom on Nolan. Then he held Nolan’s shaft, swiping it back and forth through her juices before she slowly impaled herself on it. She didn’t know if her moan or Nolan’s was louder.

  Kenny changed positions, kneeling next to Nolan’s face as he leaned forward and kissed her. A moan escaped Kenny, and when she looked, Nolan had Kenny’s cock in his mouth.

  Her pussy fluttered at the sight as she slowly fucked herself on Nolan’s cock. That was, by far, the sexiest thing she’d ever seen in her life.

  And she’d watched a lot of gay male Internet porn in her single days, pre-Jack.

  She reached down and stroked Nolan’s cheek with one hand as she reached under Kenny and fondled his sac with her other. Kenny’s kiss turned into a tongue-fucking that, added to the way her still-sensitive clit was rubbing against Nolan’s body, ended up sending her over the edge.

  Something that pleasantly shocked the hell out of her.

  Kenny lifted his mouth from hers. “Did you just come?” he playfully asked.

  “Mmmhmm, she did,” Nolan mumbled.

  “I was asking her, not you.”

  Nolan laughed.

  Not only were these two guys hot and hunky, they were fun.

  Kenny had brought the vibrator to bed with them. “Guess you don’t want this, huh?” he teased her.

  “Please, Sir?” she asked.

  “Well, since you asked nicely.” He switched it on and pressed it to her clit.

  Another explosion fired off inside her, drawing an answering moan from Nolan in the process.

  “Ooh, that was fun,” Kenny said. “Now hurry up and fuck one out of him, baby, so I can fuck that sweet pussy next.”

  “I thought he was going to suck you off.” She kind of wanted to see that.

  Actually, she really wanted to see that.

  “Maybe later. He’s just keeping me hard for now. I want to be buried in that pussy and feel you have another one around my cock.”

  “Do you suck his cock, too?” she asked.

  He smiled. “Any chance I get.”

  She started moving faster, harder, Nolan trying to thrust in time with her until finally he let out a groan around Kenny’s cock and his body went rigid for a moment.

  “Oh, yeah,” Kenny said. “That was a good one, wasn’t it, buddy?”

  Nolan’s head flopped back on the pillow. “Fuck, that was good.” Kenny handed him another condom, and he rolled that one onto Kenny’s cock for him.

  Kenny wanted to be on top this time. He pulled her off Nolan and rolled her onto her back on the bed, sliding his cock deep inside her pussy and making her gasp.

  “Yeah, just wait.” He grabbed the vibrator, turned it on, and pressed it between their bodies. As he started fucking her, every stroke drove the vibrator against her clit, until one long, rolling orgasm broke free and rocketed through her.

  “That’s it,” Kenny said, pounding her with his cock and for a moment making her forget she was even thinking about moving out.

  This. Everything about it was perfect.

  Her gaze met his as he came, and he barely managed to keep his eyes open, staring down at her as he slowed and stopped, with a satisfied smile.

  She smiled back up at him.

  He pulled out and laid down next to her. Sandwiched between the two men, she realized, felt like the most perfect thing in the world.

  “How was that for round one?” Nolan asked.

  “Round one?”

  He kissed her. “Oh, yeah. We’ll each be good for at least one more tonight. All we have to do is think about how hot you were on that bench at the dungeon.” He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it. “You were gorgeous.”

  “Beautiful,” Kenny echoed.

  She smiled, truly feeling beautiful and gorgeous for the first time in a long time. These two men, she knew, were no Jack.

  And thank god for that.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Despite how well things were going over the next couple of weeks, between buying a car and renting Kel’s apartment, and both sexy- and playtime with the men, Betsy stuck to her guns about moving. She knew if she could do this thing for herself, carry through with it, at least for a few months, to make sure she wasn’t just trading safety for fully healing herself, she and her men would be happier for it in the long run.

  And it wasn’t like they wouldn’t be seeing each other a lot, and spending nights together. But that last little bit of fear in her, she suspected, would disappear if she had a place again that was only hers.

  Well, hers and her landlord, but she felt confident Kel wouldn’t just boot her out.

  She felt the men’s sad confusion the morning of moving day, and didn’t blame them for it. She could sense how hard they were trying to be supportive of her. She knew they didn’t want her to move, but she loved them even more for not trying harder to coax her to stay.

  In the kitchen, she pulled Kenny and Nolan’s arms around her and kissed them both.

  “Guys, remember, this isn’t about you. It’s about me. I need this time to make sure I’m giving you two the best me I can. I swear, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re moving,” Nolan said. “That’s going somewhere.”

  “I’m moving over to Kel’s,” she said. “Fifteen minutes away.”

  “You could stay in the spare bedroom here,” Kenny said.

  “And I’d still be here. You guys can spend the night with me there, whenever you want. But…” She tried to think of how to phrase it. “There’s still a little part of me that’s chained up in that duplex living room,” she said. “And I need to get it back. All of me.”

  “You have feelings for Jack?” Kenny asked, sounding shocked and hurt.

  “No! No, that’s not what I meant at all. I need to let my body and mind settle in and heal. I don’t want to wake up in your house five or ten years from now, terrified that I fell for you guys because I wasn’t strong enough to be on my own. Does that make sense?”

  “No,” the men said.

  “Do you love me?”

  They nodded.

  “I love you both, too,” she said. Then she reached up and fingered the shark’s tooth. “This is my collar from you both. I meant it. That’s what I think of this as. But if you both meant what you said that day, if you were serious that you want what’s best for me, let me do this. For me. For all of us. You won’t lose me. But I have to make sure I’ve found the real me.”

  Unlike the last time she’d moved, where it was an all hands on deck emergency, it was just the three of them. With all the other stuff now in a personal storage unit she’d rented, stuff she wouldn’t need because Kel’s apartment was furnished, all she’d needed to move were her clothes and things from her room.

  In a way, it was reminiscent of her moving in with Jack, only instead of feeling bitter that she’d had to leave stuff behind, she felt free that she had things she loved, that had been given to
her in love, and with love, and no one could take them away from her anymore.

  * * * *

  Kenny knew they couldn’t stop her, couldn’t force her to stay there.

  They damn sure couldn’t chain her, literally or figuratively. No emotional manipulation to keep her there with them.

  This was something she felt she had to do, and they had to let her do it.

  Hopefully on the other side, they would be able to prove to her they loved her and wanted what was best for her.

  Tilly had told them to let Betsy set the pace, and the course, and that was what they’d do.

  He’d be lying, however, if he said he wouldn’t miss her being there, with them, and he hoped whatever it was Betsy had to do to finally be at peace happened quickly.

  When Kenny and Nolan helped her unload the very last of her things, they sat on her bed as she stood in front of them, holding their hands.

  “Thank you for this,” she said, smiling. “This means a lot to me that you trust me this much to let me do this.”

  “Promise us you’ll stay safe,” Nolan said. “Use the security system. Be careful. I don’t like you being over here by yourself at night.”

  “Kel said it was safe. Tilly and Eliza wouldn’t have signed off on it if they didn’t think it was safe.”

  “We’re going to worry,” Kenny said. “Kind of what we do.”

  “I know. And I love you both for it.” She squeezed their hands. “Tomorrow night, dinner, here. Right?” She smiled. “And more.”

  “Have fun with the girls tonight,” Kenny said, pulling her hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it, tasting her.

  “Thank you. I will.”

  Nolan brought her other hand to his mouth, kissing it. “Tomorrow night, we’re going to rock your world.”

  “I hope so.” She laughed, and it sounded like such a sweet, beautiful sound. “And you guys can even spend the night, if you want.”

  “We want,” they said together.