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  A deliciously soft hand.

  As he kissed Jarred, he lost himself in bliss, his lover’s tongue eagerly fucking back against his. Memories also tried to bury him—memories he shoved away because they’d swamp him and ruin the mood.

  Em was so much like Janis in some ways. He wanted this to be about Em, about them, the three of them forming a new bond and new habits. She wouldn’t, couldn’t be Janis. No one could. Em could only be her and it’d be unfair to try to put her into that exact same role and not let her grow however she would, in whatever direction she would.

  With their arms around each other, and moaning into each other’s mouths, the two men rocked their hips in time with her movements until Garrison knew he was close, and knew from the sounds coming out of Jarred that he was close, too.

  She must have sensed it. She picked up the pace, apparently trying to get them over at the same time. Their pre-cum lubed her hands as she jacked their cocks and then—blessed, sweet release. His balls drew up tight, followed by that glorious feel of his cum exploding from him. Jarred was right behind him, her hands suddenly super slick against their flesh as she finished pumping every last drop out of them.

  The men let out sighs of relief. Garrison finally opened his eyes and looked up at her, where she smiled down at them. She held up her hands. “Guess you guys made a mess.”

  Whether she’d meant them to or not, they came pre-trained. They sat up in one unified, fluid motion, and each grabbed a hand and started licking and sucking their juices from her.

  When Garrison looked, her lower lip was caught under her teeth and she was intently watching them. He took the opportunity to swirl his tongue around her fingers, sucking, giving her a realistic preview of what he planned to do to her clit with his tongue once they all had test results back.

  “Wow,” she whispered. “Good boys.”

  The men grinned. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

  * * * *

  This felt so achingly sweet, so familiar to Jarred. Em was so similar to and yet so different than Janis.

  He suspected once she grew comfortable in the role that a lot of this would become second nature for her, taking them in hand, taking charge.

  Janis had specifically told them she didn’t want doormats—she wanted Alpha men, men who were strong enough to stand up to her and yet who chose to serve her. That was the fun for Janis, knowing she had not just one, but two guys would could easily take over and take her down, but who voluntarily wanted to serve her.

  There was nothing he loved more than making her smile.

  And he wanted to make Em smile, too.

  They all cleaned up and used the bathroom before cuddling together in bed, Em spooned between them.

  “That was amazing,” she said. “Who knew sex without actual sex could be so damned fun?”

  “Just wait until we introduce you to the Hitachi,” Jarred said.

  Chapter Eighteen

  When the alarm went off Tuesday morning, Em wanted to reach over and slap at it. It took a moment to puncture through her brain fog that not only did the alarm sound weird, but there was a man-shaped blockage between her and rolling over to slap at the alarm clock.

  Garrison reached over and silenced it, rolling her on top of him to kiss her. “Good morning, Ma’am.”

  “Good morning.”

  An arm draped over her lower back and Jarred started nibbling on the nape of her neck. “Good morning, Ma’am.”

  She kissed him. “Good morning.”

  Jarred reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Em to Jarred. How are you feeling this morning? Be honest.”

  “A little achy in some really good ways.”

  Both men grinned. “That’s not what he meant,” Garrison said.

  “I’m…good.” She sat up, her hands resting on Garrison’s chest. “I think I could quickly get used to waking up like this every morning.” Her smile faded. “That scares me, because I don’t want to rush things and screw this up.”

  “We’re all adults,” Jarred said. “No judgment from us. Frankly, this is the first morning I’ve actually enjoyed opening my eyes in well over a year.”

  She reached down and stroked his cheek, feeling the stubble there. “What does a girl need to do to get a cup of coffee from her guys?”

  “Coming right up.” He bounced out of bed, butt naked, running for the door.

  Garrison laughed. “He must have forgotten to preset the coffeemaker. That’s his job. Usually it’s already on by now and you can smell it brewing.”

  She felt his cock rubbing against her ass and fought the urge to try to impale herself on it. Getting pregnant wasn’t something she wanted, and that was her primary worry.

  Reaching behind her, she wrapped her fingers around his shaft. “Morning wood?”

  “I have a hot woman sitting on top of me. It’s not just morning wood.”

  She reached over to the bedside table, opened the drawer, found what she was looking for, and grabbed a condom. After quickly opening it she sheathed him with it. “Then let’s take care of that for you.”

  He let out a moan as she went down on him, even the latex barrier no match for her lips, tongue, and fingers as his hands tangled in her hair. She was just getting him over and making him come when Jarred appeared in the doorway, a mug of coffee in his hand.

  “Here’s your—oh, good morning!” He set the mug on the table and climbed back into bed as she sat up, Garrison breathing heavy from his climax, his spent cock wilting in the condom.

  She reached over and grabbed another condom, quickly making Jarred moan and squirm under her as she gave him a blow job, too.

  Yeah, this was definitely a fun way to start her morning. Having two guys responding to her like this, under her control.

  It was fucking hot.

  Once she’d coaxed an orgasm out of Jarred and he’d filled the condom, the two men flipped her back on the bed, their lips each closing around her nipples as their hands unerringly found their way between her legs. One of them slid two, then three fingers into her now soaked pussy and began to finger-fuck her while the other focused his attention on her clit.

  She didn’t even care which one was where. She closed her eyes and moaned, her fingers fisting their hair and holding them in place as they teased and sucked on her nipples with their talented mouths.

  Damn. If they were this amazing and they hadn’t even gotten to oral or intercourse yet, she could only imagine the ride she was in for.

  “That’s it, boys,” she moaned. “Make me come.”

  They redoubled their efforts, working in finely coordinated tandem until she felt her release building, swelling, and she dug her fingers into their scalps as her orgasm exploded and she let out a cry.

  But they didn’t stop. They only eased back, coaxing a second climax out of her before they finally lifted their mouths from her nipples and looked up at her with matching satisfied smiles.

  Now stroking their heads, she kissed Garrison, then Jarred. “That was fricking amazing,” she said.

  “You’re welcome, Ma’am,” they parroted.

  Em giggled. “I think I could get used to that really fast.”

  “Good,” Garrison said. “Because we’re damn sure going to do everything we can to keep you happy and wanting more.”

  Unfortunately, she couldn’t stay in bed all day today. Garrison also had to get moving to his job. She grabbed a shower with him, Jarred getting breakfast ready for him and then coming to join her in the shower once Garrison left.

  “So how do I rate so far in comparison?” she asked.

  His expression grew serious. “We don’t think of it like that. You’re you. We have no expectations of you or whatever form our relationship takes other than what we’ve discussed.”

  “I…sorry. I guess that came out wrong.”

  He pulled her in for a hug. “You are an amazing woman. We’re grateful that you decided to take a chance on us.”

  “I think the grati
tude is backward, but okay. I’m kind of getting the better deal here.” The last thing she wanted to do was be stupid and call this love before she even knew stuff about these men. Like their birthdays, their middle names.

  If they’d be able to put up with her mother for any length of time.

  “What do you want to do about tonight?” he asked. “We are at your total disposal.”

  “I’m kind of hoping for a repeat of last night. I guess if I offer to cook for you, you won’t let me, will you?”

  “I let you make me lunch yesterday.” He smiled.

  “That’s not what I mean. And don’t think I don’t know if you were familiar with my kitchen that you wouldn’t have been making me sit down and watch you doing it.”

  “Totally busted. Wow. Didn’t take you long to get my number, huh?”

  “So what are you doing today?”

  “Up to IKEA in Tampa to order the kitchen. I don’t know what their backlog is on installation, and I want this handled so we aren’t without a kitchen when we move in.”

  “You can always come use mine.” She pressed her body against his. “Or, if my parents have moved out by then, you can just stay with me.”

  “You sound like a woman who’s made up her mind.”

  “I thought that’s what you wanted?”

  “That was not a complaint, Ma’am. I don’t want you to think I’m rushing you.”

  “You’re not rushing me. I’m forty-two. I’m tired of meandering through life without a purpose.”

  He cocked his head at her. “No way.”

  “What?”

  “You’re forty-two?”

  “Yeah? Why?”

  He smiled. “I thought you were younger than me. I’m thirty-eight. Oooh, does that make you a cougar? I think that’s sexy.”

  “I think we’d need more than a four-year spread to make me a cougar. How old is Garrison?”

  “Forty-three. He’s got one up on you.”

  “I’ve got one up on what?” Garrison asked from in the bathroom.

  She stuck her head out the shower curtain. “You’re a year older than me.”

  “Cool.” He leaned in to kiss her, and then Jarred. “I’m out of here. Let me know what the plan is for tonight.”

  “We’ll grab dinner this time,” she said. “You just get yourself home safely.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” The playful gleam in his eyes threatened to start her tingling again down below, and she really was starting to push the envelope in terms of running late. After slacking off yesterday, despite the work she had gotten done at Jarred’s, she really needed to apply herself today.

  Jarred made it out of the shower first, and by the time she was dressed and had made it to the kitchen, he already had breakfast underway for her.

  “You don’t have to cook for me every morning. Seriously. I usually just have a bagel or something.”

  He leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips. “I like doing this. I know it won’t be every morning, but let me enjoy this, please, Ma’am.”

  That word. Something about it…

  She didn’t know why, but the way the men said it, it felt comforting. Comfortable. Like she finally had a safety net for the first time in her adult life.

  Not just one, but two guys who’d lovingly catch her if she fell.

  I could get used to this.

  Or, maybe she already was.

  * * * *

  The last thing Jarred had expected that morning was sexytime with Em. No complaints, obviously, but she seemed a woman who knew her own mind and wasn’t afraid to express it.

  Thank goodness.

  Yes, it was desperately hard not to try to think ahead, to dream, to wish.

  To not remember how things had been with Janis and hope Em could step into those shoes.

  Em was a totally different person with different life experiences and pretty much zero experience with BDSM. He’d have to let her find her own way through this, define what she wanted from them.

  At least we’re switchy and can do that kind of stuff for each other.

  It was just not quite the same, though, with Garrison beating his ass, as it had been…

  Submitting to Janis had felt different, way different, than bottoming to Garrison. It was sometimes much more difficult for him to fall into subspace.

  Unlike Janis, who could grab him by the ear, bend his head down to her lips, and whisper a few words to send him spiraling out of control into that sweet, hazy state of mind.

  Who’s my good boy?

  Who owns that sweet ass of yours?

  Whose hard cock is that?

  What lucky boy gets to worship and serve me?

  Combined with her raking her nails along his scalp and grabbing a handful of hair, it was enough to have him wanting to drop to his knees in front of her.

  Turning his brain off.

  Forgetting everything that had happened during his shift at work.

  Giving her a chance to set aside her job responsibilities and focus only on them.

  A way for them all to unplug from the world and plug into each other.

  Even the times when she used one of them to dominate the other when she felt too tired to do the physical part of it, it was still her, directing and controlling them and what they did as she enjoyed watching them together.

  Even then it was still good.

  I’m such a fucking moron.

  She’d been sick for a while, apparently. He’d let her put him off with stupid excuses that had made sense at the time but in retrospect were neon red warning signs he should have paid attention to. The fatigue, which she blamed on work and on seasonal allergies. The backaches she blamed on a bad office chair or hunching over her computer at work. And more.

  After breakfast, he grabbed Em’s things before she could and got them loaded into the car for her. As he held the car door open for her, she paused and leaned in for a kiss.

  Then she reached up and stroked his hair. “Good boy.”

  He simultaneously wanted to drop to his knees in front of her and burst into happy tears. Both urges which he successfully clamped down on.

  “Thank you, Ma’am.”

  She gave him a smile he knew he’d quickly come to kill and die for before she slid into the passenger seat.

  Breathing out a happy sigh, he closed her door and headed around to the other side to drive her home.

  * * * *

  Garrison drove into work in a haze of thoughts and emotions. Could they have really stumbled across someone perfect for them?

  Janis would laugh her ass off over the circumstances.

  The irony that they’d met Em because her mom had called the law on them.

  He didn’t have any religious beliefs, and usually wasn’t a believer in “signs,” but maybe this coincidence was exactly what they’d needed to jumpstart them back into the land of the living.

  They’d been merely existing, putting one foot in front of the other while holding each other up so they didn’t fall.

  Keeping each other going.

  A new house, a new relationship, reconnecting with their friends.

  The hat-trick of emotional recovery?

  Maybe.

  He wasn’t naive enough to claim undying love to Em, or bet all his hopes on this working out long-term. He was going to focus on the now, on what they had, on enjoying this. Even if it didn’t work out with her, it was finally a tangible sign that yes, they could meet someone and move on, finally emerging from the worst of their grief to find a path toward healing.

  He pulled into his usual parking spot and headed in to his office. He had an hour before his first class and had some papers he needed to grade. While a lot of the assignments were submitted through e-mail, he liked to make his students submit printed or handwritten assignments from time to time to keep them on their toes. Last night he had planned on grading some of them, but the distraction and subsequent falling behind was well worth it.

  Em was worth it. />
  Crazy mom or not, he didn’t care. Em was an adult with a solid head on her shoulders. As long as her mom didn’t try to come after them with a gun or something, he was willing to turn a blind eye to that. He wanted to pursue a relationship with Em, not her mom.

  Considering Janis had cut off all contact with her family of origin, it was an ironic problem to contend with.

  He was good with that.

  Real good.

  Chapter Nineteen

  On the way to her house, Em texted Mitchell that she was running a little late, but was still coming in.

  Almost immediately, he texted back.

  Can you talk?

  She knew exactly what that would mean. He’d want all the dirty details, and she didn’t want to have that convo right in front of Jarred.

  When I get in.

  Mitchell replied.

  :( Spoilsport.

  She also had to talk to her dad, if he was home, and find out how her mom was doing and when they could visit her. If they had any answers yet.

  Jarred reached over and laced fingers with her. “Are you all right?”

  She squeezed his hand. “In some ways, I think I’m better than I have been for years.”

  “Worried about your mom?”

  “Yeah. You’re spooky.”

  “It was actually a pretty logical conclusion.” He glanced over at her. “If we need to change tonight’s plans because of her, it won’t hurt our feelings. You need to do what you need to do. We understand that.”

  “Unless Dad tells me different, tonight’s still on. Why? You trying to weasel out on me?” she teased.

  “Not at all, Ma’am. Just wanted you to know that we understand some things have to come first. Family and work need to be a priority.”

  “I’ve spent the past couple of years putting everyone else first. Unless Dad tells me differently, I’m working on the assumption tonight is still on. I feel bad we didn’t communicate better about this before. We might have been able to force her into a showdown sooner. Get her help before it turned so ugly.”