Out of Bight, Out of Mind Read online

  When they came to take her to surgery, Caph didn’t want to let go of her. He begged Graymard and the staff to let him come, too. It took Yanna’s help and a large dose of sedatives to calm Caph enough that they could take Emi. Ford and Aaron sat on the sofa in her room with Caph sandwiched between them, his head in Ford’s lap, as he stared at her empty bed.

  Yanna sat in a chair close by, ready to help restrain Caph again if necessary.

  Ford stroked Caph’s hair. “I really missed you, big guy.”

  Caph’s eyes had glazed over from the medication. “If she dies, kill me,” he moaned. “Just fucking kill me. I don’t want to live if she dies.”

  Aaron patted Caph’s thigh and left his hand there. “She’ll be okay. She’s not dying on us. They’ll take good care of her and give her the antidote, and she’ll be fine. You think she survived all this bullshit just to die on us now?”

  “She is very strong,” Yanna agreed. “She will be okay.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Emi awoke, at first frightened by the unfamiliar surroundings when she couldn’t recall immediately where she was, and then comforted when she felt the presence of the four men. Caph, sitting in a chair by the bed on her right, but asleep with his head on the mattress by her knees. Aaron, sitting on her left side, awake and watching her. Ford, lying on the sofa and dozing. He hadn’t had much chance to sleep over the past couple of days, so she was glad he could now.

  And Yanna. He stood by the door, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed as he stared at her.

  Aaron leaned in and stroked her forehead as he smiled at her. He started to say something, but she put her finger to her lips to hush him and pointed at Caph.

  He kissed her, nuzzling her nose with his as he let out a long, relieved breath.

  His sweet brown eyes. The ones from her dreams. She didn’t have a conscious memory of him before this day, yet she felt him in her heart and soul. And Caph, too. Her heart and soul once again felt complete.

  This was the way things should be, her and her three men.

  Now if only her memories would fall in step.

  Yanna stepped around Aaron and leaned in close to whisper in her ear. “I shall go tell Father you are all right. I will return in a couple of hours. Pabo will stand watch outside with the others. If you need me, tell him.”

  She nodded. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before he left.

  She searched Aaron’s face and feelings for any sign of jealousy and found none. He was too relieved to have her back. He rested his head on the bed on her pillow and laced his fingers through hers. She felt him studying her hand, the rings on her finger.

  She ran her thumb over his matching wedding band. She knew so much about this man from Ford’s words and what she now felt from him, and yet she had so much to learn. Or relearn.

  But she knew for certain the only thing she needed to know about him, and Caph—she felt safe and beyond loved.

  “Go to sleep,” he whispered in her ear. “I love you.” He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. She hurt and felt exhausted and was more than happy to take his suggestion.

  When she awoke again, Ford was sitting next to her, awake and watching her, with Aaron dozing on the couch.

  Caph was still asleep on her other side, his mouth open as he softly snored, a thin string of drool running down his cheek and puddling on the bed.

  Then a long, low, rippling fart from him broke the silence.

  Despite the pain, she suppressed a laugh. He was so cute. They’d given him enough drugs to keep him knocked out all night, at Dr. Graymard’s orders. Probably the first good sleep he’d had in months.

  Ford followed her gaze and smiled. When he looked into her eyes, she read his sadness. They’d both understood, once she realized the probability of the situation, that their short-lived happiness couldn’t be. That hadn’t stopped either of them from hoping.

  As upset as Aaron and Caph were, it had still been Ford’s baby.

  She’d been wrong about Ford likely never feeling sadness again. Despite being reunited as a family, his grief broke through. He tried to keep it from her and couldn’t. Emi understood her own need to grieve, with him and alone, but she wanted her focus to be her men and getting through the next few days.

  Of reuniting as a family.

  He touched his forehead to hers and kissed her before resting against the bed.

  She closed her eyes and, feeling safe and loved, let the darkness envelop her.

  * * * *

  Aaron awoke when Yanna returned after midnight. Before he could wake Ford, the other man sat up and stretched, then locked eyes with Aaron and tipped his head toward the door.

  Aaron nodded and patted Yanna on the shoulder as he and Ford left the room while Yanna took the seat next to Emi’s bed. Caph would, hopefully, sleep for several more hours.

  Two Beyant guards fell into step behind them.

  Aaron turned. “You guys don’t have to come with us.”

  “Yeah, they do,” Ford said. “You haven’t fully grasped the situation. We’re under diplomatic protection now.”

  Aaron felt too tired to contemplate or argue it. They returned to the Tamora Bight and the two guards stayed outside at the hatchway. Once the two of them were safely sealed, alone, inside their ship, Aaron pulled Ford to him and hugged him. Then he crushed his lips against Ford’s, backing him against the wall as he ravaged his mouth with desperation and relief.

  “I will kill you, you son of a bitch, for putting us through this,” he rumbled when he finally lifted his head.

  Ford laughed. “Sorry, Cap.”

  He slammed Ford against the wall again, hard, knocking the wind out of him before enveloping him in a crushing bear hug. “You don’t need a fucking chip, you need a goddamned leash.” He finally released him and stepped back. “I’m sorry.” He turned and started for their quarters.

  Ford quickly fell into step beside him. “Sorry for what? I kinda think I deserved that, actually.”

  “For not having faith like you did,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to believe she was dead, but I didn’t see any hope. You had hope for all of us.”

  They reached their quarters. Ford followed Aaron into the head where Aaron stripped, dropping his clothes to the floor, and stepped into the shower.

  “Get your ass in here,” he said, holding the door for Ford.

  Ford smiled, stripped, and stepped inside with him. Aaron started the water.

  “Ah!” Ford sighed. “Clear water.” He let it run over him as Aaron wrapped his arms around him from behind and showered kisses along his shoulders.

  “I missed you. We lost her and then you were gone.” He sniffled.

  Ford turned and hugged him, held him. “Hey, I’m back. You and me, we’ll get the big guy through it, and we’ll get her through it, and we’ll get to live our happily ever after.”

  Aaron rained more kisses along the side of Ford’s neck. “I’m sorry about the baby,” Aaron softly said.

  Ford’s expression darkened as he stepped away, back under the water, his eyes closed against the spray. His voice sounded choked. “Yeah. If I’d known she could have gotten pregnant, I would have been careful and not let it happen. It’s my fault. She could have died if it’d happened sooner and farther from Mars. I’m a medic, not a surgeon. I couldn’t have saved her with their technology. I don’t know anything about pregnancies or babies except how to make them.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Ford found the shampoo and lathered his body. “You want the truth?”

  “Yeah. Of course.”

  “No. I’m not okay.”

  “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  Ford wouldn’t open his eyes to look at him, just shook his head.

  Aaron didn’t feel the slightest bit romantic. He suspected Ford didn’t either. After their shower, they crawled into bed together, entwined in each other’s arms.

  “Oh, jeez this feels good,” Ford sighed
. “Home sweet home.”

  Aaron kissed Ford. “You two aren’t going anywhere alone for a long time, you realize that, right? Caph and I aren’t letting you out of our sight.”

  Ford patted his arm. “Believe me, I don’t want to go anywhere. I just want to get her healed up and not even think about the future right now.” He paused. “You realize the antidote might not bring her memory back, right?”

  Aaron hugged him more tightly. “I don’t care. She’s alive. That’s all I care about. She’s alive, and the four of us are together again.”

  For the first time in nearly a year, Aaron slept deeply and without interruptions.

  Or nightmares.

  * * * *

  Donna sat alone and cross-legged in the command chair on the bridge of the Kendall Kant. The men had learned not to press her to talk, or to argue with her when she took most of the night watches now, such as she had tonight. Encapsuled in her grief, she sought out their company only when she felt strong enough to handle it.

  She was, in fact, so engrossed in her book that she almost reached out to hit mute on the communication alert until it finally struck her that it indicated an official communiqué from DSMC.

  With a resigned sigh, she bookmarked her page and shut down the handheld before turning to the command console. “Why the fuck can’t they just leave us alone?” she muttered.

  They’d received several bullshit notifications from the DSMC headquarters over the past several days. It did nothing but interrupt their surveys.

  Her eyebrow arched when she realized this wasn’t just a message, but a video. Directly from Dr. Graymard.

  And it was marked to her personal attention, requiring her code to unlock and view it.

  With a hard, frozen ball of cold dread congealing in her stomach, she hesitated.

  She didn’t want to know. She wanted to hold on to the faith deep inside her that, someday, Emi would be found alive.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She’d have to watch it eventually. It would keep nagging at her until she did. And if not her, one of the guys would see the notice when they came on duty and Rob would override her and watch it.

  With a trembling finger, she punched in her code and hugged her knees to her chest.

  The delivery code indicated it had been sent from Mars. Dr. Graymard’s smiling image appeared on the screen. “Hello, Dr. Stephens. I hope this finds you well. I wish there were some better medium to deliver this news to you.”

  Her tears started flowing. Certain of her friend’s death, Donna barely heard his next words. “Fortunately, it’s happy news I bring you. Dr. Hypatia has been found alive and well.”

  As she sucked in a gasp of air she choked on her own snot. She coughed while slapping at the controls to pause the video. Staggering out of the command chair, she stumbled to the head, where she poured herself a glass of water and tried to quit choking. When she finally made it back to the console, she restarted the video.

  “…The lifepod was found by a Beyant battle cruiser on its way to treaty talks. Her memory, unfortunately, has been impacted by the drugs she was given by her assailant. She is now back on Mars, and has been reunited with her husbands. We will be transferring them to Earth shortly. I wanted to let you know so you could, if you wish, suspend your mission and change course to make your way to Earth and help with her—”

  She stopped the playback again. Tapping into the nav computer, she plugged in information to break free of orbit and head away from the planet so they could jump. Then she reached over and smacked the intercom button and screamed into it. “She’s alive! They found her! Get your asses up here right now, boys. I’ve already plugged in our new course. We’re heading to Earth!”

  She started the video again, giggling, which turned to laughter and then tears running down her face as she watched it from start to finish. That’s where her three men found her moments later as they all ran, butt naked, onto the bridge. Rob pulled her into his arms.

  “Donna, babe, what’s going on?”

  She blubbered and pointed at the video display. “They found her. She’s alive!”

  * * * *

  Emi opened her eyes and looked around the room. Daylight streamed through the window sim. Caph was still asleep, the damp spot on the sheet under his cheek even larger than before. Yanna occupied the other chair, and Ford and Aaron were missing.

  Yanna patted her hand. He sat up, leaned in, and softly spoke to her in Beyant. “They will return soon. They left a few hours ago. Went to the ship to sleep.”

  A nurse came in, checked Emi’s vitals, administered her morning medication, and left them alone again.

  “It’s going to be strange starting over,” Emi softly admitted. “Leaving the B’autachia. It’s the only home I remember.”

  “You don’t have to leave, a’tein. You and your husbands can stay with us.”

  She felt his anguish, that she would leave them. “You are the best big brother ever.”

  Yanna smiled. “You never had a brother, big or little. Ford said so.”

  “Well, if I had, you still would be.”

  “I am honored. Father has made a request.”

  “What?”

  “If you stay here, he has asked if I could stay with you. Pabo and myself, to protect you and your men. Considering the complicated diplomatic situation, the Interstellar Treaty Coalition, and the DSMC, has agreed to allow it, if you wish.”

  “Stay with me?”

  “Yes. Cultural exchange. Father has already extended an offer to allow human crew on the B’autachia.” He smiled. “Besides, he wants me to keep an eye on any potential heir to his ruling house.”

  Maybe it was the drugs, because that statement confused the hell out of her. “What?”

  “You are Father’s only daughter. Our ruling houses are controlled by the lines of the women. Adopted or not.”

  “But I’m not Beyant.”

  “It does not matter. Even if I could produce an heir…” He blushed, his face turning an even darker shade of orange, before falling silent.

  “What are you saying? Why couldn’t you produce an heir?”

  “Unless the Goddess of All creates a miracle, it is doubtful Pabo or myself will ever become female.”

  If she didn’t hurt so much, she would have sat upright in bed. “What?” Caph stirred a little. Emi lowered her voice, rapid-fire Beyant spilling out in her agitation. “What are you talking about, Yanna? You and Pabo? What do you mean?”

  “Did you not know?”

  “Know what?”

  He softly laughed. “Pabo isn’t just my guard. He is my p’agdtein.” When she obviously didn’t understand the word, he clarified. “My mate.” He pointed to Caph. “My spouse. Like you and him and the other two.”

  It took her a moment to absorb that info. Sure, Pabo shadowed Yanna when he wasn’t assigned to watch her, and he slept in Yanna’s cabin, but she assumed that was because he was Yanna’s personal bodyguard.

  Yanna must have recognized the shocked confusion on her face. “A’tein, all of our crew are p’agdtein…mated. Well, except for Father, of course. Mother died years ago and he’s never remated. We knew this would be a very long mission and only chose male mated p’agdtein pairs so they would not get lonely. We did not want to risk sending women on this mission. You did not know that?”

  She laughed. “Um, no. You must have missed telling me that somewhere along the line.” She tried to think of any signs and remembered none. “There were no signs. You guys are really deep in the closet.” No wonder the Beyants hadn’t seemed shocked about Aaron and Caph also being married to her and Ford.

  He didn’t understand the English idiom translated into Beyant. When she explained, he smiled. “We strictly adhere to protocols when on duty. We do not like to publicly display our romantic affection. It does not matter if it is a female and male or two males or two females. We all know things go on in private. We simply do not wish to see how others do them.” He sat ba
ck. Sadness shadowed his face and soul. “When my sister was killed, besides our grief, Father sensed the inevitable end of our family line. She had not yet found a p’agdtein or had children. Women in our culture are highly cherished. It is rare one is ever available for adoption outside of her own family. Until you came along,” he added.

  Caph stirred and lifted his head. He briefly glared at Yanna before his eyes settled on Emi. “Hey, you okay?” he asked.

  She smiled and answered him. It was only when he looked totally confused that she realized she’d spoken Beyant. She tried again in standard. “I’m okay. How did you sleep?” She stroked his hair.

  He nodded and laid his head back onto the bed. He found her other hand under the sheet and laced his fingers through hers as he stared at her, like a lost puppy reunited with his mistress.

  Yanna spoke Beyant. “He loves you very much. He did not move all night.”

  She switched back to Beyant. “He was drugged to the gills.” At Yanna’s confusion, she realized she had to explain that idiom, too.

  “He needed it. He is very devoted to all three of you, but especially to you, it seems.”

  Caph lay there and watched them talk without interrupting or asking for a translation. She felt his relief. He was content to simply be there with her. Gods help the person who tried to keep him away from her at that point.

  Gwan and another Beyant guard entered the room with a cart and food trays. They’d brought one of Beyant food for Yanna, and two of Earth food for Emi and Caph.

  Caph sat up and stared at Emi. She felt he was still woozy from the sedative. “Go ahead and eat,” she assured him.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I’m okay.” Caph and Yanna helped her sit up in bed, but she ate unassisted. By the time they finished, Graymard, Ford, and Aaron had all arrived. Ford was dressed in a fresh Tamora Bight crew uniform. Aaron carried a duffel bag with a change of clothes and toiletries for Emi, and for Caph, so he could take a shower there in the room. The Beyant guards quickly brought two more trays of Earth food for Ford and Aaron.