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  Em wasn’t sure how to ask this other than to ask it. “The guys said they played with you before. What did that mean? Like…sex?”

  “Oh, no. No sex with them. I topped them as friends. I spent some time as a pro-Domme. Very choosy about my clients. Made a decent living at it, too. The guys came into the local scene literally within like a week apart from each other. They came to the munches, and we liked them, so they got invited to private parties. I worked with them some, played with them as friends, not as clients, because they weren’t even sure what they liked or wanted. Then at one private party they met Janis, and I sort of hooked the three of them up with each other, and they ended up hitting it off.”

  “Was she a friend of yours?”

  “We weren’t besties, if that’s what you mean. I liked her and she liked me, I guess. We talked quite a bit at the events. But we usually only saw Janis at private parties because of her job.”

  Tilly’s voice changed, subdued. “She’d asked the guys to keep her illness quiet when it developed. She didn’t want a bunch of people fussing over her. But by the time they realized just how bad it was, then it was too late and we lost her.”

  “Do you think she would have had a problem with me and the guys?”

  “Well, if she was alive, yeah,” Tilly joked. Em recognized the snark as an attempt to inject some humor into a dark topic. “But no, she loved them. I got to talk to her before she passed and she asked me to try to keep an eye on them, if they’d let me. But they withdrew from the community. I kept in touch with them through e-mail and calls, but they needed some space to process and recover. Ross kept them on the private party list, and every time I kept hoping Loren would call me and tell me they finally RSVP’d as coming to one of them. They didn’t even come out to the munches. Everyone grieves in their own way.”

  “Any advice in the meantime?”

  “Yeah. Have fun. Life is too damned short not to. And we’ll see you Saturday night.”

  Em laughed. “That sounds like an order.”

  “Nah, I can’t order you to do anything. But the offer is there.”

  “As long as the guys say yes.”

  “Wow. You really are new at this Dominant stuff. That’s kind of the point, you tell them you three are going to the party, and they say, ‘Yes, Ma’am.’”

  “Ah. Oh!”

  “That was lesson one, grasshopper. Feel free to text me between now and then if you have other questions. I might be in meetings but I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Oh. One more thing.” Tilly’s tone softened, grew melancholy. “As far as I know, they’re really nice guys. I can’t say I’m their closest friend, but I will personally vouch for them. I’m not willing to stick my neck out like that for just anyone, either.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  When she ended the call, Em stared at her rose quartz egg. Leaning forward, she picked it up and sat back again, slowly rolling the egg back and forth between her palms, the cool, smooth stone soothing her.

  I really like them.

  They’re not asking me to do anything, so far, that I can’t live with.

  Mitchell, Brent, and my dad seem to like them. Well, Dad likes Jarred.

  Whether her dad would still be on board with things when he found out the full truth was another matter entirely.

  And Chelbie seemed to like them.

  A few minutes later, an e-mail arrived from Tilly, forwarded from someone else, CC’d to Jarred and Garrison, and with a note from Tilly added at the top.

  You guys are in. See you Saturday! - Til.

  She texted Jarred.

  We’re going to a party Saturday night.

  He replied a few minutes later.

  So I see. How did you find out about it?

  She hoped they didn’t mind her reaching out.

  Tilly told me.

  Her phone rang a moment later. “I should have guessed.” He didn’t sound upset.

  “Is it okay?”

  “We’re free. I have to work, but I’ll be home in time. It’s your call, Ma’am. If you feel up to going, we’ll go.”

  “I’d like to go. I think I need to go. Especially if I’m on a countdown now.”

  “Don’t feel pressured just because of that.”

  “Not just because of that. I feel I need to get my ass in gear. Like I’ve been stuck in neutral for a couple of years. I’m ready to have a direction and make progress.”

  “Then we’ll go. I’m heading back to Sarasota now.”

  “When’s the kitchen getting installed?”

  “Four weeks. That gives me time to get the old cabinets out, get the walls painted, and the flooring installed. Meaning they should be able to get everything knocked out in one day, although they scheduled two. That means I can put in for the time off.”

  “Well, if there’s trouble getting the time off, I can stay there during the day for you while they’re there. I have Wi-Fi. I’m good.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind, Ma’am.”

  “Which finish and doors did you pick?”

  “The ones you liked the best.” She hesitated for so long, he spoke. “Ma’am?”

  “It’s your kitchen, though.”

  “Yeah, and it was one of my finalists. I couldn’t decide. You did. I’m good with that.”

  She wasn’t sure she was. “What if you hate it?”

  “I won’t, but if I do, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Uh, yeah, it does.”

  “No, it doesn’t. You’ve got to remember I have my priorities set so it’s the people in my life I care about first. I could care less about a kitchen. As long as it’s functional and not disgusting, it’s irrelevant. I’ll live with it.”

  She hadn’t thought about it like that. “Drive safe. I’ll see you later.”

  “Roger roger. I mean, yes, Ma’am.”

  * * * *

  By the time Em left work a little after five that afternoon, she had flip-flopped over a dozen times about buying her house or not. At least she’d remembered to call her doctor and arrange for an appointment to go in Thursday morning and have her blood tests done and get a new prescription for the pill.

  That she’d remembered to do that was a miracle in and of itself. They were in the final prep stages of a huge estate sale and auction they’d be running in a couple of weeks and had a massive planning session that afternoon to make sure the final details were in place.

  Jarred’s car was parked next door, but she resisted the urge to go straight over there. Her dad wasn’t home when Em arrived, so she called his cell.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “You tell me. How’s Mom?”

  “They had to sedate her again this afternoon. She threatened the staff.”

  He said it so matter-of-factly that she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. “Come again?”

  “Sedated. She pitched a holy temper tantrum when they refused to release her. She told the nurse and the CNA that she’d kill them if they came near her. That got her sedated.”

  “Crap.” She rubbed at her forehead. “Want me to come in?”

  “Nope. Besides, I’m not there. I just finished up at the lawyer’s office and I’m getting ready to pull out of here.”

  “Lawyer?”

  “We had an emergency hearing this afternoon to keep her involuntarily committed until the doctor clears her.”

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me? Do Don and Amy know?”

  “Because there wasn’t anything for you to do, and not yet, no. I’m going to call them tonight after I’m home.”

  “Dad, this is serious.”

  “Tell me about it. But it’s good, because she can’t just sign herself out and walk out of there now. She’s going to have to stay there and get the help she needs.”

  Here Em had been looking forward to getting laid again that night, and her mom was still in the hospital. “Can we go visit her?”

 
“Not yet. She’s too agitated. The doctor strongly warned against me visiting her just yet. She gets upset at me because I won’t get her out of there, then she turns her aggression toward me. He said if you kids come in before they get her stabilized, she’s liable to do the same thing to you. I don’t want her mad at you.”

  “She’s probably already mad at me.”

  “I mean it. I signed paperwork allowing the doctor to talk to you three, so if you want to call him or his nurse and talk to him about it, go ahead.”

  “No, I mean…” The pressure in her forehead was threatening to turn into a full-blown headache. “If that’s what he says, I’ll listen. I want her to get better as soon as possible. I don’t want to do anything to set her back.”

  “Exactly. She’s really indignant because she found out they tested her for drug use.” He let out a laugh that didn’t fool Em in the slightest. “It’s routine, because some drugs can cause problems. If she was in withdrawal, of course, they needed to know that, too.”

  “Of course.”

  “Boy, did it piss her off, though. She accused me of doping her without her knowledge.”

  “I wish we could have,” she muttered.

  “I know, right?” He sighed. “This is rocky and bumpy, and it’s for the best. I’m feeling better now that I know it’s probably something we can treat and stabilize with medication.”

  “True.”

  “Go have fun tonight. Enjoy yourself and stay safe. If anything changes, I’ll call you from my cell. Love you.”

  “Thanks, Dad. Love you, too.”

  She ended the call and headed to her bedroom. He had a point. If her presence there would only inflame her mom’s condition, she didn’t want to do that.

  It was better for her to follow her dad’s instructions.

  Enjoying herself was definitely on the agenda tonight.

  * * * *

  Jarred fought the urge to hurry over to Em’s house as soon as he saw her arrive. About twenty minutes later, she emerged from the house, carrying her overnight bag and laptop case.

  He raced out the front door and met her halfway, taking them from her. “Why are you being so stubborn about this, Ma’am?”

  She leaned in for a kiss. “Because it’s funny how worked up you get over it.” She smiled.

  He hung his head. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Yes. I think it’s adorable.”

  “So you’re already exploring your sadistic side, hmm?”

  “Is that what I’m doing?”

  “Sure seems like it.” He fell into step behind her. “Everything all right with your mom?”

  She seemed to deflate a little, to the point he regretted bringing it up. “Long story. She’s still in the hospital.”

  He loaded her stuff in his car before leading the way back into the house as she repeated what her dad told her.

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. It’s—wow. You’ve been busy.”

  He’d already removed the center island that had been in the kitchen and had tossed the pieces in the Dumpster.

  “Yeah. The faster I get this done, the closer we get to moving in. I’m going to tell the management office at our complex that we won’t be renewing our lease so they can prepare to refund our security deposit.”

  “What are we picking up for dinner?” she asked.

  “That’s your call.”

  “Are you going to throw every decision back on me like that?” She leaned against the counter. “I don’t think I have the energy for that. Especially not right now.”

  He pulled her in for a hug. “Then you tell me it’s my choice to make.”

  “I thought that’s what I asked you to do to start with.”

  He knew tonight was not the night to parse semantics with her. He could feel how emotionally drained she was. “Sorry, Ma’am, I misunderstood. How do you feel about Greek food?”

  “Love it. I’ll take a gyro, please. And a Greek salad.”

  “I know a place we can stop and get takeout on the way home.”

  She snuggled closer. “Sounds great. I’m paying.”

  He pressed a kiss to her forehead “Yes, Ma’am.”

  Too fast, too hard, too much.

  He knew Garrison would scold him for it later when he related the exchange to him. She wasn’t Janis, and they needed to fine-tune their communication skills to Em’s personality.

  Janis would have either specifically told him to handle dinner, or would have told him what kind of food she wanted. Crystal clear.

  This was a new process for Em, and a new dynamic for him and Garrison to get used to with her.

  They’d have to get to know her as much as she’d have to get to know them.

  Janis, used to working with cops and dealing with the media and the public, had a very direct way of speaking, even about personal issues. Cut and dry. It was something that had carried over with the men. Even after losing her, they still communicated like that.

  He suspected he and Garrison both would have to get used to this.

  But it wasn’t exactly an unwelcome problem to have.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The last thing Em wanted to do was think about her family problems. Worrying about her mother would overtake her life if she let it, and she knew that. Considering her own father had specifically told her to enjoy tonight, she would do her best to follow orders without a shred of guilt.

  At least, that’s what she told herself.

  After she and Jarred put in their order and sat at a table with a couple of takeout cups of iced tea, it scared her how comfortable this whole situation already felt.

  Like maybe she was taking the easy way out.

  Was she trading one dysfunctional mess for another, only of her own creation?

  She hoped not.

  Jarred reached across the table and gently took her hand in both of his. “Talk to me, Em.”

  That was another thing. God, he was so spooky in the good way. Both men seemed to be.

  “Same shit, different day. My mom. Now the house. And I hope the three of us aren’t rushing into this so fast because we’re all eager to escape what we’ve got right now.”

  “I’m not eager to escape anything,” he said, his tone gentle. “I love Garrison. I hope things work out between the three of us. If it doesn’t, I still have Garrison.”

  “People always warn about jumping into a relationship headfirst.”

  “I’m not asking you to marry me. We’re not asking you to pledge undying love to us. We’re not begging you to declare permanent ownership of us. We’re happy to take this one day at a time. We’re all adults here.”

  She slowly nodded, running her fingers along his wedding band. “I want to do her justice,” she finally said. “I want to be worthy of you guys.”

  “Please stop thinking like that. You aren’t her. You’re a different person. Not saying that Gare and I won’t screw up from time to time. Like earlier when we discussed dinner. That’s just normal relationship growing pains as we get to know each other. We might fall into old behavior patterns because it’s a habit or comforting, but it doesn’t mean we’re comparing you to her or expecting you to be anyone but yourself.”

  “I feel like I’m running away from my problems. Don’t want to buy a house? Don’t want to deal with my mom? Boom, insta-love.”

  “I was nervous when Garrison and I started playing with Janis. I was worried she might pick him over me, or that I wasn’t good enough. The two of us were friends, but we were both new to the lifestyle.”

  He lightly stroked her hands. “When she started playing with us, I had no idea what would happen or where it would lead. If she’d want to keep playing with both of us, or if she’d pick one of us over the other. Then she told us that she wouldn’t decide between us. And that she wanted more than just play with us.

  “So we had to make a decision, all or nothing. We had become friends first, doing things like going to the movies or having dinner to
gether or hanging out. Beyond the play and the kink, we were people who’d quickly become friends. Above all else, she didn’t want to risk losing our friendship. It had to be all three of us together in the kinky stuff, or the three of us being just friends.”

  “That sounds like a scary decision to make.”

  “It was. Not as much for me as for Garrison. It wasn’t easy for him at first. A lot of talking. I wasn’t sure he’d want to go all the way. There was some anger and tears and kissing and making up. And it was absolutely worth it. I’d do it all over again, and I think it’s safe to say he would, too. Having said that, it’s why I can honestly say that, no matter how scared I am, I’m willing to risk it. Because what could be waiting for us on the other end is damn sure worth the risk. I know we’ll at the very least be friends. I also won’t deny we’re greedy and want more than that with you for the long-haul.”

  Their order was ready, the cashier calling them up.

  He squeezed her hands one more time before he let go, stood, and offered her a hand. “Ma’am?”

  She smiled as she sat back. “I already paid for it. You can get it.”

  His smile widened. “I’ll be right back.”

  That smile did something to her. That such a simple thing could give him joy.

  Was it worth at least trying?

  She thought about it as she watched him retrieve their order from the cashier.

  Hell, yeah, it’s worth it.

  * * * *

  Garrison had already returned home by the time they arrived at the men’s apartment. He’d set the table in anticipation of their return since Jarred had texted him they were on the way. In fact, Garrison was standing outside waiting when they pulled up, so Em didn’t have to carry anything from the car.

  “Glad we didn’t scare you off,” Garrison joked as he greeted her with a kiss.

  “You guys have been like a steady rock in a crazy ocean.”

  “What?”

  “More mom stuff,” Jarred said as he grabbed the food from the back seat.

  Garrison helped Jarred set the food out before holding Em’s chair for her.