A Kinkmas Carol Read online

  “We don’t have enough bail money.”

  “I’m sure we could start a fundraiser for her.” Leah glanced over her shoulder before backing out of the parking space. “Lunch?”

  “Yeah. Since you’re driving, I’ll treat and I’m buying myself a damn drink. I sure as hell need one after that bullshit.”

  * * * *

  “Any word from Tony about replies from the guest list yet?” Loren asked Leah once they were seated in the restaurant and the waitress had brought their drinks and taken their lunch order.

  “He told Sir last night that he’s already received fifteen firm RSVPs, and ten more likely-maybes. At this rate, we might have an over-full house.”

  “Holy crap, that’s nuts. He just sent the e-mail out yesterday.”

  “Tell me about it.” Leah played with the condensation on the side of her glass of iced tea. “I’m still recovering from Halloween, and Sir’s already emptying the storage unit of Christmas stuff and bringing it to the house. My garage looks like the flipping North Pole took acid and exploded.”

  “Is he still using the plans?” Loren quietly asked.

  “He’d laminated the originals, made copies, laminated the copies, and is working from those. He wants to have it ready to light on Thanksgiving night.” She stirred the ice in her glass with the straw. “Sometimes I wonder which one of us this time of year is harder on.”

  “Look, if it’s too much, Ross and I can hold the party. Or I can ask Tilly if we can have it there. Or even Abbey and Gilo’s. I know it’s a lot on top of everything else, including the banquet.”

  Leah slowly shook her head. “No. I want to do it, and so does Sir. He would have wanted us to do it.”

  She finally met Loren’s gaze. “I won’t say it gets easier, because it doesn’t. It doesn’t hurt less, and it’s never going to stop hurting. I just…I’ve learned I can live with it. For now. I don’t want to and wish I didn’t have to, but I have Sir, and he’s got me.” She refocused on her drink. “I refuse to think about the future. I can’t. I don’t want to. Master wouldn’t have wanted me to do that. Besides, the private party will be my reward to myself for surviving this damn fundraiser without killing Karina.”

  Loren, bless her heart, tried to redirect the conversation. “He would have been so proud of you today, giggling his ass off. He loved watching you go after those people like that.”

  Leah forced a smile she didn’t feel. “I always channel him when I do that. I remember how he was and what he did and I do that. If it was good enough for Kaden, it’s more than good enough for me.”

  * * * *

  After a long lunch and driving a slightly tipsy Loren home, Leah headed south to see what would await her with Seth and his Christmas display preparations.

  The garage door stood open, the Ridgeline backed up to it and Seth, shirtless, unloading what appeared to be a full load of plastic storage tubs. She grabbed her messenger bag and purse from the backseat of her car and walked over to give him a kiss.

  “Busy day, Sir?”

  He grinned in a way she hadn’t seen him smile in a while. It was good to see him smile like that. “Still have about four more loads to go. Maybe five. Then I can start laying stuff out in the garage and checking lights.”

  “I’ll get changed and help you.”

  “No, love.” He leaned in for another kiss. “Go inside and relax today, okay? You’ve been working nonstop on the fundraiser.” He frowned. “That old bat give you trouble today? Kreskin?”

  Leah snorted, knowing he’d said it deliberately. “Karina. And she did. I took care of her.”

  “That’s my good girl.” He rubbed noses with her. “Tony told me we’ll have a full house for the party. I suppose you’re going to try to coax me into a pair of bike shorts again for the rigging contest?”

  “I didn’t think you’d want to compete this time, since we’re the hosts.”

  “Hell, yes, we’re going to compete. If you want to, and you want me to be your bunny, I will. I’ll take one for the team.” He grinned. “Just be prepared to rig with a vibrating egg up your pussy, love.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

  She couldn’t help but laugh. As if a stiff breeze had just blown away the cloud of emotional funk surrounding her, her spirit brightened. “Skills test, Sir?”

  “Absolutely, baby.” He paused. “I mean, I don’t mind doing it. But if you’d rather ask one of the girls—or guys—to be your bunny, it won’t hurt my feelings. I’ll leave that up to you.”

  She considered it. “I don’t know. Scrye said Justin really enjoys flying, but Glen and Wade don’t do suspensions.”

  “I want you to enjoy yourself,” Seth insisted. “And I don’t want you worrying about me. I’m serious that if you want me to be your bunny, I will. Or if you want to ask someone else to be your bunny first, that’s fine, too. I’m okay with you asking Justin if he’d like to do it.”

  “I’ll think about it. Let me talk to Wade and Glen to see if they’d even be okay with it first before I see if Justin would be interested in doing it. Then I guess I wouldn’t have to worry about the guests if you weren’t in the contest.”

  “Even better. Sounds like a plan.”

  She started to head inside, then stopped and turned. “Did you eat lunch, Sir?”

  “I—” His mouth snapped shut. “Shit. No.” He laughed. “Bad Dom, no cookie. No wonder my stomach’s growling. Okay. You can make me lunch. Something not heavy, though, please.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Inside the front door, she set her stuff down, stripped, and buckled her leather collar around her neck without taking her day collar off. Already feeling more grounded and centered, she gathered her clothes and on her way through the living room she paused by the urn and gently stroked its side.

  “Good afternoon, Master,” she whispered. “I love you. Thank you for being with me today. I felt you there.”

  Then she pressed a kiss to her fingertips and touched the urn’s lid before heading down the hall to their bedroom.

  * * * *

  Once Seth had eaten lunch and taken off again for another trip to the storage unit, Leah tidied up the kitchen and broke out her laptop to work on fundraiser business. It kept her busy and had been a welcomed distraction this time of year.

  It helped keep her mind off Kaden and the loss they’d faced.

  People who didn’t know this side of her, who didn’t know about the charity work she did and never saw her like this, probably would never imagine the slave they saw at Venture was a kick-ass, take-charge event organizer.

  She’d learned from the best, spending plenty of time with Kaden in the early days, working at his office as an administrative assistant, filling in during leaner times when the budget wasn’t there for extra staffing when he and Ed were first starting out in their practice together.

  She’d absorbed so much watching him and Ed both work. The two talented attorneys had built a successful practice by hard work, skill, and brains. They hadn’t had a hand-out from rich parents to get them started.

  They’d fought for and earned every penny they’d made.

  And it’d made her proud when Kaden had told her he didn’t want her to work anymore, but if she wanted to volunteer, to go for it.

  So she had.

  It’d been gratifying to take those same skills she’d learned and honed in the legal office and bring them—and her extensive local Sarasota area contacts—to the job.

  Even more gratifying to hear the pride in Kaden’s voice when he told people about what she did, and how he’d attend every event and step back and watch, supporting her.

  Believing in her.

  * * * *

  “So how many more blow-ups are you going to order, Sir?”

  Leah knelt on top of Seth, who lay facedown on their bed. A little after eleven that night, and she was working on his sore back, which he’d twisted earlier unloading the last load of the bins from storage into their garage.

 
“More blow ups?” All innocence.

  “I was balancing the checkbook earlier. I saw the order, Sir.”

  “Oh. Heh. You saw that, huh?”

  “Mmmhmm.” She leaned in and nipped his left ear. “We are running out of storage space. And where are you going to set them in the yard?”

  “We still have yard space left.”

  “In the backyard.”

  “That’s still the yard.”

  No, she couldn’t—wouldn’t—be upset with him. She loved him, and knew this meant as much to him as it did to her in some ways.

  A part of Kaden kept alive.

  When she finished on his back she snuggled with him. “I’m sorry, love,” he said, already sounding drowsy. “I think I’m worn out for tonight.”

  She kissed him. “That’s all right, Sir. I am, too.”

  As they snuggled together, Leah tried not to think about the nights—all too few, indeed—where she’d drifted off to sleep securely bookended on either side by both men.

  The memories she had of those nights, she’d cherish them for the rest of her life.

  Chapter Three

  Then…

  Kaden stood and stared at the Christmas tree set up in the corner of their small apartment. He’d turned off all the lights in the small living room, the speckled, multi-colored glow cheerily illuminating the space and giving it a magical feel.

  Her first real Christmas.

  The first real one she could remember.

  Scratch that. The first happy one she could remember. There’d been too many holidays in her life that she’d tried to forget, or weren’t memorable because she’d been stuck in foster care, or—later—working through them so coworkers who had real families could take off and spend it with them.

  Kaden had purchased an Our First Christmas ornament emblazoned with the year and prominently hung it on the front of the tree.

  Leah walked up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, Master?”

  He laid his hands over hers and pulled her arms more tightly around him, his thumb stroking her engagement ring and wedding band. “Nothing’s wrong, love. Everything’s perfect.”

  “Then why are you staring at it like that?”

  “Because I wish we could do…more.”

  “More?”

  “More.” He turned, embracing her and pulling her close. “I’ve always wanted to go crazy at Christmas once I had my own place and my own family. It was always a fun time at our house when I was growing up. Seth and I loved helping Dad put up the yard decorations and lights every year.” His expression clouded. “I wish Mom hadn’t sold all those wooden cutouts Dad made.”

  “Maybe she couldn’t deal with the memories.”

  He let out a snort. “No, it was more my stupid sister wanting my mom to hurry up and sell the damn house and get moved out.”

  “I still don’t understand.”

  “She wanted Mom living closer to her so she could mooch off her more easily. One of the things Dad and I used to do together every year was put up the Christmas lights and stuff on the house. It was our thing. He had sports with my brother, and Denise was…Denise.”

  “This isn’t just about missing your dad, is it?”

  “No.” He stared at the tree, his gaze thousands of miles away.

  “Seth’s staying safe. He told you he was.”

  “I miss him. He’s my best friend and I’m scared to death for him. I know he’d lie to me about his safety so I don’t worry, because he knows I’d lie to him for the same reason.”

  Leah gently cupped his cheek and made him look her in the eyes. “Please stay positive. Don’t imagine the worst-case.”

  “I’m trying not to, but it’s damned hard. I’m a lot closer to Seth than I am my own brother.” He finally offered her a sad smile. “I can’t wait for you to meet him.” They’d said hi already over the phone and video chats, but not in person.

  “I’m sure I’ll love him.”

  “He’s a great guy.”

  “Of course he is. He’s your best friend.” She stared into his grey eyes. “We could have waited to get married until he returned. I would have been okay with that.”

  Kaden leaned in and kissed her. “No. You scared one life out of me already, love.” A playful smile filled his face, driving away all shadows. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I wasn’t about to let you get away a second time.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

  He took her hand and led her to the couch, where he sat, pulling her into his lap to snuggle. “I promise you, one day, I’m going to build you your dream house. Every detail that you pick out. It’ll be all ours, from the foundation up.”

  Never in her life had she felt as loved as she did with this man. Sometimes, she wondered when the other shoe would drop, when something bad would happen. Except he knew her darkest demons and hadn’t run from her. In fact, he’d chased her down into those shadowy hells, took her by the hand, and slowly, gently led her toward the light.

  Without a hint of judgment or disgust. He’d embraced everything she was and wanted to hold and heal her.

  Like hell she’d ever leave him. Never.

  “I don’t care where we live, Kade.” She draped her arms around his neck. “I told you that. This place is fine, and it’s not that expensive with both of us working.”

  “I don’t want you to have to work,” he said. “I want to make enough money for us that you can do whatever you want to do. Or that you can go back to school, if you want. I want to spoil you rotten.”

  “We don’t need to settle that tonight. I’m going to keep waitressing for now. Let’s get you graduated and into law school.” She wiggled her ass against his lap. He’d already administered her daily spanking earlier that evening, but it had left her frisky. He’d also left her unfucked, making her wait.

  One of Kaden’s eyebrows slowly arched skyward, making her even wetter than she already was. “Was that a butt wiggle I just felt?”

  “Maaaaybe.”

  * * * *

  Kaden tried not to think about the unsettling dream he’d had the night before, of him standing in front of a Christmas tree much like this one, only larger. And not in the apartment, but in a house that, while not familiar, not even a house he’d ever set foot in before, was one he knew he owned.

  Only on that tree had hung two First Christmas ornaments. This one…and another for Seth and Leah.

  An ornament he instinctively knew he had purchased—and the dream had felt so damned real.

  So real that last night when he’d awakened in a cold sweat, after making sure Leah was still safely sleeping next to him, he’d gotten out of bed and walked out there to stare at the darkened tree just to assure himself there was only one ornament.

  He wouldn’t tell her about the dream, either. One of many weird dreams he’d had since the night he’d accidentally figured out the secret to keeping her safe.

  This one had differed in its specificity, though.

  Usually, his anxiety-ridden dreams were about him not being aware enough to keep up on things, to help her process emotions and keep her on an even keel. That he would fuck up, not do enough, and come home to find her dead by her own hand.

  Last night’s dream had felt so strange—and not in a good way—he didn’t even want to write about it in his journal. As if that might give it weight and make it real.

  Not that he didn’t want Seth and Leah to hit it off. He did. Absolutely. Their names on the ornament wasn’t what unsettled him. It was the date, a little over twenty years into the future.

  In his mind, he hoped that maybe when Seth came home from his time in the military, perhaps his wife and his best friend would immediately hit it off. So much so that Seth would fall in love with her the way he’d fallen in love with her.

  Because Kaden wasn’t sure how he’d do it alone. And if he couldn’t do it alone, how was he supposed to keep h
er safe?

  He needed Seth.

  Someone to help him keep her safe from herself.

  Someone to love her the way he loved her.

  He shook it off as he drew his arms more tightly around her, real and warm and willing flesh and not what was obviously a stress-induced dream.

  “Ready to go to bed, then, love?”

  Leah gave him a playful pout. “Not to sleep, Master?” she softly asked.

  He nuzzled her nose with his. “Is that a request?”

  “Maaaaybe.”

  “I think someone will need to earn her orgasm tonight. I’m thinking someone will need to wear a butt plug while she gets eaten out and then while I fuck her sweet pussy.”

  Her lower lip caught under her teeth as her fingers played with his shirt buttons. She nodded.

  “Is that agreement, love?”

  “Yes, Master,” she whispered.

  He nuzzled her ear with his lips. “Beg me.”

  Her breathing quickened. “Please put the butt plug in me, Master. I want to feel your cock fucking me with it inside me.”

  In this way, he didn’t mind dominating her. Finding ways to help her reclaim her sexuality, to enjoy herself while making new, better memories with him, even while he forced himself to do the things he’d discovered she needed from him.

  Things that kept her safe from herself.

  In fact, she’d gone nearly three weeks so far without an intentional injury, her longest stretch to date since they’d started the spankings. She had actually come to him and asked him earlier for the spanking, recognizing that she needed it.

  Hence why he had made her wait for her orgasm, so he could build it up even more for her. Reward her in the ways he was discovering she loved. Some operant conditioning to help reinforce the healthy behaviors and maybe help her grow stronger.

  It helped him feel less guilty.

  He turned her on his lap, her back pressed against his chest and his left hand gently cupped around the front of her throat. Right now, she wore one of his T-shirts and nothing else. It was a little chilly, and he hadn’t wanted her to be cold. Spreading his legs forced hers wide apart, and he slid his right hand down, under the shirt, between her legs.