Good Friends Read online

  He finished his drink as he walked toward the stairs in the breezeway and dumped the cup in a garbage can there. His room was in the building on the other side of the pool courtyard, meaning he had to cross through the party in progress to get there.

  Normally, not an option that bothered him, but by the time he’d reached his room and fished his key card out of his back pocket, a sense of irritation had settled deep within him.

  Everyone had a fucking partner, it seemed like. Or they were happily single.

  If he took a long, hard look at his personal situation…

  No, he wasn’t happily single any longer.

  He was lonely, and had been ever since Gavin left.

  It also pissed him off Gavin couldn’t even be bothered to sac up and give him a decent explanation for his uncharacteristic silence. If he’d found someone to settle down with while out of the country, okay, fine, but do the decent thing and tell him that. Or if Porter had done something inadvertently to upset him, tell him that, too, so he could fucking apologize for it and fix it.

  Ten years as friends, wasn’t that worth at least a little honesty? He was always honest with Gavin.

  He unlocked his room door and once inside he removed his boots and turned on the TV.

  No, he wouldn’t be going anywhere else tonight. He couldn’t even go home, because with the Jack in him, he knew he shouldn’t be driving. Damn sure wouldn’t take a risk jeopardizing anyone’s safety or his job with a DUI just because he was throwing himself a pity party.

  He stripped, grabbed a quick shower, and stretched out on the bed, naked, to watch TV and try to ignore the sounds of the party in full swing everywhere else around him at the resort.

  This wasn’t how he’d hoped the weekend would go. At all.

  Then again, he had the room booked for all weekend. Maybe he’d wake up tomorrow morning and have found his mojo.

  He hoped.

  Chapter Two

  Friday night, Gavin Meadows sat at the patio table and stared at the light flickering in the swimming pool in front of him. It bounced off the insides of the screened-in pool cage surrounding the lanai and off the back side of the house. All around him, a fantastic private party—a sexy no-holds-barred party—was in full swing. The first kind of party like this he’d been able to attend in over a year.

  Just inside the living room, Gavin could see through the sliding glass doors there was one guy on his hands and knees on a hassock. He was currently being spit-roasted between two beefy bears, the lucky bastard.

  While he watched, another guy grabbed a cute twink and pushed him under the guy getting fucked, to suck the bottom’s cock.

  And fun was had by all.

  He couldn’t hear what was going on inside, beyond muffled cheers and laughter.

  Out here on the pool deck, there were two Tops sitting over in the area designated for cigar smoking. Two guys, a twink and an older bottom, knelt between the men’s spread thighs, sucking their cocks as they talked. On a lounger approximately ten feet away, another two men were happily fucking, the bottom straddling the Top and riding him like a rented pony.

  Still, none of this raised even the slightest bit of Gavin’s interest…or his cock.

  Sigh.

  As Gavin sat there and observed everything, he realized he had zero interest in taking part in any of it.

  None.

  Fuck. I guess that makes it official—I’m a dumbass.

  One of his hosts for the weekend, Kent Corwin, walked over. “Not to pressure you or anything, buddy, but I’m a little surprised you’re not inside getting you some. It’s a free-for-all booty buffet in there.”

  Gavin sat back and looked up at Kent. “Sorry. I thought I’d be feeling it this weekend, but I’m not.”

  Kent pulled out a chair and sat. “You know, far be it from me to intrude on someone else’s pity party, but maybe you should try calling the fucking guy.”

  “I’m a masochist, but I’m not that kind of masochist.”

  Around them, about twenty-five horny guys were involved in a variety of sexy activities.

  A year ago, Gavin might have been eager to dive head-first into the pile and have himself some fun, mostly because he knew Porter would be having fun right there with him.

  Or—even better and far more likely—the two of them would’ve been having fun with each other while watching the other guys getting it on.

  “It’s my own fault,” Gavin said. “I left the freaking country without telling him how I really feel. He’s obviously had no trouble moving on without me. That’s not his fault. I didn’t give him a reason to wait for me.”

  “You don’t think he might like to hear this straight from you?”

  “I think he’s made his position clear. I asked him before I even signed the contract if he wanted me to not take the job.”

  Kent leaned in. “Yeah, but you also said the deal was you moved in with him when you get back. That doesn’t sound like a guy disinterested.”

  “But meanwhile, he’s had no trouble hooking up with people.”

  “You told me you guys were open.”

  “We are. Sort of. But for over six months before I left, neither of us slept with anyone else.”

  “Sooo…you wanted to close things up and he…didn’t?” Kent asked.

  “We never really settled that.”

  “Never settled it, or never discussed it in the first place?”

  Gavin shrugged and sat back, taking a sip of his rum and Coke. “Same thing.”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Besides, it’s irrelevant now. Jayce told me he’s been hooking up with Porter on the regular for the past several months, and Porter didn’t even bother to tell me. If I can’t trust the guy to tell me something like that, especially this close to my return date, what difference does it make anyway?”

  Kent sighed. “Look. All I know about relationships comes from my own experience with dumbassery, okay? Not communicating—clearly communicating—nearly cost me my damn life. Five minutes later, I would’ve been alone at home and died, all because I was too chickenshit to admit to my guys how I felt about them. Thank god they didn’t leave immediately after our fight. And look at us now.”

  Gavin slowly shook his head. “But Porter’s known me for ten years and knows what a damn trigger lying is for me. An omission like that is the same as a lie.”

  “So, what, you’re going to hope you never run into him again?”

  Gavin shrugged. “I’ll send him a message in a week or so and tell him I’ve got another job and have already found a place to live. Wish him well, tell him no hard feelings. Maybe at some point we can be friends again, but I just can’t right now, especially knowing he’s kept this back from me. With Jayce, of all fucking people! The guy’s a goddamned slut, and I don’t even mean the fun kind. I mean the disgusting kind you’d never want to invite to one of your parties.”

  Kent snorted.

  “What?”

  “Talk about a lie of omission. You don’t tell him you’ve been back for two weeks already and living in Sarasota now? That you’ve already been working at your new job for a week?”

  Gavin shrugged again. “Fuck it.”

  “Reeeeallly?” Kent drawled as he pointed at the sliding glass doors. “And instead of trying to chuck it in the fuck-it bucket by picking any one of those eligible guys in there or out here, you’re going to sit out here with your buddies Coke and Captain Morgan?” He tapped the glass-topped table with his finger.

  “I thought I could,” Gavin quietly said. “I really thought tonight would be exactly what I needed to get him out of my system, but I can’t. I know he’s at the Toucan this weekend, probably fucking and spanking his way through half the twinks there.”

  “I thought you said he wasn’t a manwhore?”

  “Who the hell knows what he is? I thought I knew him. Been good friends for ten years. Best friends, I thought. Closer than that. I love the fucking guy. Thought he loved me.”


  He looked Kent in the eyes. “The deal was if we got serious and long-term with anyone, we’d tell the other. Well, Jayce hits me up any damn time he fucking sees me on Messenger, man, telling me how great Porter is. Porter has no trouble telling me about other guys he plays with, but doesn’t even mention Jayce beyond the one time they scened? And he told me then that he didn’t fuck him? I can take a damn hint.”

  “I’m just saying maybe talk to him. Maybe there’s more to the story.”

  Gavin sat back and took another swallow of his drink. “I think I’m beyond caring now,” he softly admitted, even as he knew that was a lie.

  If he was beyond caring, he wouldn’t be so fucking…mopey.

  “Says the guy who can’t be bothered to go have a little fun.” Kent stood. “Just saying, you’re not acting like a guy who’s beyond caring, and I’m kind of an expert in this territory.” He patted Gavin on the shoulder and walked around the pool to go talk to a couple of guys smoking cigars over in the far corner.

  Except Gavin knew Kent was right about one thing—he wasn’t beyond caring. He was hurting and angry and felt betrayed.

  I never should have asked him to play with Jayce. So much for doing a good friend a favor.

  That sure bit me in the ass.

  Then again, Gavin also knew had he just shoved back his fear before he signed the contract in the first place, and admitted to Porter he was in love with him, talked to him…

  I sure as hell wasted that opportunity.

  * * * *

  Around eleven that night, Gavin quietly retreated to the guest bedroom where Kent and his boys, Tim and Paul, had graciously extended him the invitation to sleep tonight.

  The party was still in full swing, had barely hit its stride. But he didn’t want to be a downer. Sure, some of the guys were exhibitionists, and no one was ever required to participate at one of these things, but he still felt…

  Weird.

  Which was weird in and of itself, because one of the things he’d desperately looked forward to doing once he’d returned to the States was exactly this kind of thing—reconnecting with his kinky friends.

  Except he’d really hoped to be doing it with Porter.

  In fact, he’d sort of hoped he’d be doing a lot of stuff with Porter, like moving in with him.

  Instead of having to find an apartment via online listings and then renting a truck to move his shit out of storage.

  Because he thought he and Porter would be doing that together, using Porter’s truck, having fun taking a shower together after…

  Maybe talking about Gavin never moving out.

  Why’d I ever let Jayce talk me into letting them play together?

  And that was another thing, because, ew, really? Jayce, of all people?

  The guy was okay for a friend, was fun to have around for laughs, but the fact that Porter hit that not just once, but multiple times? On a regular basis?

  Jayce was a walking health department warning poster on the perils of not having good sexual hygiene. When they taught high school sex ed classes, they could probably use Jayce as the poster boy for allll the examples of STIs and the symptoms. Jayce got around more times than a free Ferris wheel at the state fair.

  Like he’d even want to fuck Porter now. It wasn’t that Jayce was a slut, it was that Jayce was an irresponsible slut who couldn’t be trusted to religiously wrap or require others be wrapped, didn’t get tested on a regular basis, and likely wasn’t even on PrEP or anything. Gavin wouldn’t want so much as a blowjob from the damn guy. Not without a full-body condom or something. Damn sure wouldn’t give the guy one, either.

  Gavin hadn’t even told any of their mutual friends he’d moved back to the area. Especially not Jayce. He didn’t want it getting back to Porter yet. Yes, he’d eventually tell the guy he was back, once he felt strong enough to talk to him without crying.

  I’m a dumbass.

  He damn sure wasn’t going to spill his tea to their friends and look even more pitiful. Because most of them would likely tell him he was a fucking dumbass, just like Kent had.

  And they’d probably be right.

  Just like Kent was probably right.

  * * * *

  The house had finally gone quiet around three a.m., but Gavin still lay there in bed, wide awake with his brain stuck in fifth gear.

  Had he said he wouldn’t want to fuck Porter now?

  That was only half true.

  He still wanted Porter. That was his problem.

  Now that he was back in the States and settled in his new apartment, he couldn’t put off the inevitable thoughts about this whole situation the way he could before.

  Before, he could lie to himself and say he had too much going on, had to find a new job, a place to live, get moved—all of that was now done and settled, leaving him with this last unfinished business hanging over his head.

  How much of a masochist did he have to be to move back to Florida, anyway?

  Less than two hours from where Porter lived and worked.

  Wasn’t like he had family here. But this was where one of the jobs was located, and he hadn’t felt like moving to Washington state, Kentucky, or New York, where the other highest-paid job listings were located. He could have gone several other places for far less pay, or for rougher working conditions. Like fricking Alaska.

  No thanks.

  He’d been lucky to get this job. He loved Florida and didn’t want to live anywhere else. All his friends lived here.

  He couldn’t even blame Jayce for this because Jayce had asked if Gavin minded if he slept with Porter, and he hadn’t told him not to.

  Mostly because he never thought Porter would sleep with him.

  Ew.

  The thought of that truly rolled his stomach. In fact, he’d literally been a little sadistic in giving Jayce the green-light, thinking he would come whining back to him that Porter had turned him down.

  I thought I knew the guy.

  Porter, not Jayce.

  Obviously, he didn’t know Porter as well as he thought he had.

  It also made him wonder what else he’d missed throughout the years, if there was more to it than just this. Because if he’d called that one so fucking wrong…

  He’d even got a round of testing a couple of days after landing back in the States, he now felt so paranoid.

  How am I supposed to ever trust anyone again?

  He thought he could trust Porter.

  Of anyone, above anyone, he thought he could trust Porter.

  So much for trusting myself, too.

  Chapter Three

  Just after dawn Saturday morning, Porter lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Normally on these weekends he was up until the wee hours of the morning having fun, and then would sleep until late morning, at least.

  Especially if Gavin was with him.

  Fuck.

  He hadn’t slept well at all. Not even angrily flopping onto his back around midnight and pounding out an orgasm to hopefully chill his body the fuck out had helped. He’d still tossed and turned, restless all night.

  Somewhere in this resort were Ivan and his hubby, and they were happily doing things Porter could easily imagine because he already knew what Ivan liked…and how he sounded and looked when giving and getting it.

  And here I am, alone.

  Gavin’s blue eyes came to mind, the last time they’d made love before he’d left for his new job in Costa Rica.

  Why did I let him go?

  Porter angrily shoved that thought away.

  Before Gavin had signed the work contract, he’d even asked Porter if he really wanted him to do it, or if there was a reason for him to stay behind. Porter hadn’t wanted to hold him back and told him they could talk more when he returned from Costa Rica, but that he wanted Gavin to make the decision for himself, not for Porter.

  I’m a fucking dumbass.

  It was only a couple of weeks after Gavin had left that Porter finally suspected why Gavin had asked
him that in the way he had. And still, since Gavin hadn’t brought it up again, Porter also stayed away from that topic during their Skype sessions, which grew less frequent over the months.

  Before Gavin left for the job, they’d been exclusive for sex for more than six months leading up to that, although they would frequently play with others. Sometimes their work schedules didn’t line up right, and Porter would never deny Gavin the opportunity to scene with another Top. They hadn’t agreed to be exclusive, it’d just…happened. Not that Porter didn’t have opportunities to have sex with others during that time, because he had.

  He’d just turned them all down, because he’d had Gavin.

  He’d been happy with Gavin.

  Hadn’t wanted anyone but Gavin.

  Truth be told, it’d been nice having a sex partner he trusted, could go bare with and not worry about, and feel at total ease around.

  Their agreement for their time apart had been they were free to see others, as long as they were safe. If one of them ended up with someone permanent, they’d admit it immediately.

  Hell, Gavin had been the one to bring up that stipulation! And when Porter had outright offered to remain exclusive, even while Gavin was gone, Gavin had told him no, that was okay.

  In fact, Porter had mentioned Ivan to Gavin the next time they’d talked, just days after the encounter had happened, because they were honest with each other. Porter had sort of been hopeful something long-term might develop with Ivan, and he didn’t want to just drop it on Gavin out of the blue if that happened.

  Hell, Porter had swallowed back his own jealousy when Gavin told him about seeing someone for a couple of weeks not long after that, until it apparently fizzled out. He was always honest with Gavin if he played with someone, or fooled around with them, although it did seem like Gavin rarely mentioned anyone beyond friends. The only guy Porter had fucked since Gavin left was Ivan, although he’d received several blowjobs from guys he’d played with.

  Gavin had been in Costa-fucking-Rica, though. Not exactly the most hospitable of places for an openly gay man to go trolling for dates. Not to mention, Gavin was a fucking workaholic that put himself to shame. Gavin had wanted to put money in the bank to build up his savings and maybe make enough for a down payment on a house. The helicopter tour company that hired him had been willing to pay him top-dollar, in addition to living expenses, to sign a twelve-month employment contract with them, with an option to extend it if Gavin wanted to. It’d been a great opportunity for Gavin to make some serious bank. Damn sure more money than he could make there in Lakeland. He totally got why Gavin wanted to take the job.