Out of Bight, Out of Mind Read online

  Caph’s shaggy eyebrows scrunched up. “Hey, that’s not fair!”

  Ford laughed. “Don’t worry, big guy. Now that you’re back to your old self and the crew is reunited, I’ll be happy to take back the mate title.”

  The ice now broken, she made a request. “While we’re here, can you guys show me how to play strip poker again?”

  Aaron’s brow furrowed. “Honey, are you sure? We are happy to wait as long as—”

  “I’m sure,” she insisted, looking at Caph.

  His jaw momentarily gaped before he was up like a shot. He returned a moment later with a deck of cards. “Let’s do it.”

  Aaron helped her with her cards and kept telling her they didn’t expect her to get naked if she didn’t want to, even as she removed each article of clothing in turn when she lost a hand.

  Before long, everyone was losing on purpose and the men were down to their briefs while she wore only panties.

  She grabbed the cards and put them aside. “Okay, boys. Someone turn the lights down and put some music on and let’s quit delaying this. I want you to make love to me.” Ford got up to do it.

  “All of us?” Aaron asked.

  She took his hand and brought it to her mouth. Slowly, seductively, enjoying the feel of his rising passion in his soul as she did, she laved each of his fingers with her lips and tongue.

  She also enjoyed how his stiff cock tented the front of his briefs.

  “All of you,” she softly confirmed as she met his sweet brown gaze. “All of you, right now.”

  Caph fell over on his back as he tried pulling his briefs off without standing up first. Aaron opted for cradling her in his arms and lowering her to the bed, kissing her.

  She was vaguely aware of Ford being completely naked when he rejoined them in bed. He and Caph worked on her panties, slowly pulling them down her legs until they were discarded somewhere to join the rest of their clothes on the floor.

  Emi basked in the feeling of their love. It flowed around and through her, warming her as surely as any fire. The feel of Aaron’s soft hair as she ran her fingers through it, the gentleness of Caph and Ford’s touch, the sound of their breath quickening.

  The smell of their arousal.

  Caph and Ford each latched onto her breasts, the wet heat of their lips pulling at her, filling her with need and passion that made everything else pale in comparison. She closed her eyes as Aaron devoured her mouth with his. Each breath she took tasted sweeter than the last, until she finally shoved her brain out of the way and let her body feel and experience and enjoy.

  Caph and Ford both gently stroked her legs with their hands, until Caph slid his all the way up her thigh and began stroking her labia. She spread her legs wider, inviting him in and never wanting any of them to stop loving her.

  Even if she never regained her memories, she would gladly spend the rest of her life basking in the glow of love from them.

  When Caph’s fingers carefully probed for entrance and found her wet, her eyes popped open and she gasped at the pleasant sensation of him pressing for entrance. Aaron lifted his head to look into her eyes, at first concerned but then recognizing her passion and pleasure.

  “Come for us,” he whispered, nibbling on her ear. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard you do that.”

  He palmed her cheek and leaned in for another kiss. “Come for us, baby.”

  It didn’t take long. The feeling of their combined love was like the universe’s strongest aphrodisiac. White heat blossomed in her clit, rapidly spreading throughout her body as Caph’s fingers brought her to two explosive orgasms in quick succession.

  Aaron sat up, shucked his briefs, and changed places with Ford. “I never thought I’d ever be here with you again,” he admitted, the briefest of grief darkening his soul before love and passion took over again.

  She wrapped her legs around him, reaching up for him as he lined up his rigid cock with her drenched pussy. “Now,” she gasped. “Please!”

  He slid in, deep and hard and fast before falling still with his forehead resting against her chest. She tried to make him move, but he wouldn’t. “No, I want to feel this,” he said. “I never thought I ever would again.”

  Cradled in Caph’s and Ford’s arms, Emi wrapped her arms and legs around Aaron and waited until he composed himself. Then he touched his forehead to hers, his eyes closed as he struggled to keep his strokes slow and deep.

  She let him set the tempo despite wanting him to fuck her hard and fast. He needed this, and there was no way she would deny him.

  As he slowly grew closer to release, a beautiful rainbow of emotions swelled within his soul, even as his cock stiffened inside her. When he finally allowed himself to let go and come, the bubble exploded even as his cum emptied inside her, making her gasp with pleasure over the intensity of his emotions.

  She held him tightly to her, his face pressed against her shoulder as she stroked his back, his hair, the stubble on his cheeks.

  And even though she knew Caph was yearning for his turn, he didn’t rush his lover, his husband, letting him draw healing from her as he slowly recovered his senses.

  Aaron kissed her deeply as he pushed up on his arms. “I love you,” he said.

  She smiled. “I love you, too.” Without even thinking about it, she looked at Caph and kissed him. “And I love you.” And then Ford. “And I love you.”

  Aaron let out a happy sigh and sat up. “I’d better move before Caph tackles me.”

  “I wasn’t going to say anything,” Caph said, “but yeah.”

  Emi giggled. She shared a wink with Ford, knowing he was more than happy to wait until last this time. He’d had her all to himself and wanted his husbands to have this time with her.

  Caph kissed her, different than Aaron, but his energy held the same happy glow of Aaron’s. “Hi.”

  She smiled. “Hi.” When she sensed hesitancy from him as he worried about hurting her, she reached between his legs and grabbed his cock. Rubbing it up and down between her labia, now soaked from her own juices and Aaron’s, she said, “I think this is what you want to do.”

  With a groan, he sank home, his entire body trembling with the effort of holding back.

  She made him look down at her. “As hard and fast as you want. You won’t hurt me.”

  His sweet green eyes widened a little, but he took her up on it, not bothering to hold back once he had her assurance.

  She felt his release building fast, explosive like a force of nature. And when his balls drew up tight before adding his own juices to her, he burst into tears and collapsed on top of her.

  All three of them comforted him, but she knew he needed this, to get the pain out of his soul before it ate away at him. The big man with the even bigger heart.

  And then it was Ford’s turn.

  Instead of positioning himself to fuck her, he lay between her legs and began laving her pussy and clit with his tongue. When she finally begged him to stop three orgasms later, he sat up wearing a wicked grin. His cock jutted out from his body. “How was that?”

  She nodded, beyond speech.

  Caph moved with incredible speed for a man his size. He leaned over and wrapped his lips around Ford’s cock, almost knocking the smaller man over as Ford had to brace himself against Caph’s shoulders.

  She snuggled against Aaron and enjoyed watching them together, the way Caph eagerly bobbed his head up and down as he worked to drain Ford’s sac of his cum.

  “He’s got a very talented mouth,” Aaron softly whispered in her ear. “And he’s been beyond wanting to put it to use.”

  She giggled. Ford had given up trying to stay vertical. He fell over on his side, Caph moving with him and never releasing Ford’s cock from his mouth. When Ford grabbed Caph’s head and started fucking his hips in time with Caph’s motions, Caph let out a happy moan of his own.

  And then Emi watched Ford’s fingers tighten in Caph’s shaggy hair, his body tensing as his orgasm hit him and Caph fe
ll still, his throat working while he swallowed.

  “Better?” she said once Ford had once again opened his eyes.

  He nodded. “Oh, yeah. Jesus, I missed that.”

  She felt her eyelids already growing heavy as Caph returned to snuggle next to her. Ford, satisfied with spooning Caph from behind, completed their group.

  “Okay,” Aaron mumbled, already falling asleep. “Captain’s orders. Everyone sleep late.”

  The twins both said, “Aye, aye, Cap.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Dr. Graymard placed his hands on his desk and looked at Emi. “I cannot guarantee you we will be able to retrieve all your memories.”

  “I know.”

  She heard his sigh and didn’t know if he was more worried for her, or worried about her men. “Promise you won’t try to hit me this time when you come out of the sim?”

  She didn’t understand his quirky smile. She must have looked confused, because a brief wave of sadness replaced his concern. “The very first day when you came in to be evaluated for the program,” he said, “you were put through a sim session to match you with Aaron, Caph, and Ford. When you came out of it, you hit me because when it ended, you thought Aaron was going to his death.”

  That tweaked something in the dark, murky recesses of her brain, but it flittered away again before she could hold on to it. She wasn’t sure what the proper response should be. “Oh. Sorry?”

  The wave of sadness washing from him didn’t match his smile. “It’s quite all right. I’ll gladly take another punch if it means you do get all your memories back.”

  “What do we do next?”

  “What I’d like to do is put you through a replay of your initial sim session with your men. Not with them. However, Dr. Stephens has volunteered to go through it with you as an active observer, if you’d like.”

  “To hold my hand?”

  “You can say no, if you wish.”

  Emi thought about it. Looking at pictures and vids of her past with Donna Stephens was another pleasant trigger in her memory, in a different way than her men.

  “Okay. Is she here?”

  “Dr. Stephens and her men are on their way down from the orbiting space station now. They’ll be here in less than an hour.” He glanced down at his desk. “She’s very concerned about you. They all are.”

  Emi had read through the files, both their professional files and Emi’s saved personal correspondence with her. “Dr. Stephens—Donna—and I were very close, weren’t we?”

  “You were roommates in college. You went to school together. She joined the DSMC after you left Earth. She is your best friend. Both her and Dr. Vanderlin. Although you both met Dr. Vanderlin at the same time and haven’t known her as long.”

  Emi took a deep breath. “Why don’t you want me going through it with my men?”

  “You can, but I’d like you to go through it first as just an observer. I think it would be better for you to be able to watch it without the emotions of your men influencing you the first time. They might be overwhelmed watching it. It will play for you and Dr. Stephens like a vid. But the two of you will be able to interact with each other. That she volunteered to do this shows how much she loves you as a friend.”

  “Why?”

  He smiled and rubbed his jaw. “Because she swore she’d never get into another sim. She also packs an even meaner punch than you do.”

  * * * *

  Emi looked up from the handheld she’d been reading when the door opened. A woman looking like the file pics and vids Emi had watched walked in.

  When she spotted Emi, she smiled and rushed over to her, enveloping her in a huge hug.

  “Emi, oh my gods!” She leaned back to look Emi in the eyes. “Jesus, when Ford told us what happened, I thought I’d never see you again. And then we were the ones who found the pod…” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “Then when Graymard got hold of me when you got to Mars with the Beyants…” She hugged Emi again, sobbing against her shoulder.

  Donna’s mix of old grief, relief, and joy threatened to overwhelm Emi. She returned her embrace, unsure what to say and feeling guilty for not having the memories of the deep bond they’d so obviously shared.

  Finally, Donna composed herself and put on a smile for Emi. “Hey, I said I’ve been wanting empath training. Graymard said I can use the time here to do it, if I want. Work with the techs who will help you. He said we can stay here as long as I want, or until you’re returned to duty, whichever comes first.”

  Graymard hadn’t told her that part, but Emi welcomed Donna’s company. Already, little snippets of things about Donna wanted to tease at Emi’s brain, as if memories lurked on the backside of windows clouded by soot and were knocking for recognition and release.

  They grabbed lunch in the DSMC complex’s cafeteria before the afternoon sim session would begin. Emi noticed how Donna couldn’t quit smiling, the last tendrils of her friend’s grief finally working their way out of her system as she came to accept Emi was well and truly alive. “Rob, Sam, and Gregor wanted to know if you all would like to come over to the K-2 for dinner tonight.”

  “K-2?”

  “Oh, sorry. The Kendall Kant. Our ship.” She smiled. “They docked us right next to the Bight. Sam hit the motor pool ten minutes after they secured and cleared us and headed out for a great organic market in New Phoenix. They’re really looking forward to seeing you guys again.”

  Emi didn’t miss Donna’s hope. “It sounds great. I’ll send Aaron a message about it before we go into the sim.”

  Donna had something else she wanted to say. She looked down at her tray, reluctance briefly flashing through her before being replaced by determination. “I don’t want you to feel embarrassed or bad by anything you see in the sim, okay? I never told you this before, because I never really thought it mattered, but Rob told me how badly they’d treated you in the initial pairing sim. I made Graymard show me. So please, don’t be embarrassed or anything on my behalf when you go through it. I already saw what happened.”

  Another piece clicked home for Emi. “Graymard doesn’t want Aaron, Caph, and Ford getting angry at Rob, Sam, and Gregor.”

  Donna touched her finger to her nose. “And there’s something else. After we learned they found you, and about your memory, Rob told me something. He pulled you aside at the Halloween party last year and apologized again in person about what happened. He also told me that, if you want, he’ll go through a sim session with you if you want to recover the memory and otherwise can’t.”

  Graymard was far smarter than Emi ever realized. It wasn’t just for moral support and assistance that he’d brought Donna and her men to Earth. He was determined to do his part to make sure current relationships between the crews weren’t ruined by revelations of past incidents that no longer mattered.

  Emi nodded. “Okay. Let’s see what happens first and go from there.”

  * * * *

  Emi slogged through the process day by day, at times elated at her progress in some areas and frustrated to tears in others. Regaining her memories of life with her men from the moment they first met were easy. Recalling much of her college days, with Donna’s help and guidance, also relatively easy.

  Elusive remained some of the memories she treasured most, and yet still couldn’t find a way to access—her childhood, and her parents.

  Sure, she had pics, vids, and recorded messages from them she could play. Little teasing particles of memories would emerge as if called out from a children’s hide-and-seek game.

  But a large void remained. As painful as she knew it would be, it was one she was most desperate to penetrate and untangle as much as possible.

  One day, after a long and frustrating sim session where she made no new progress despite trying all the mental tricks she’d learned and modified to regain other memories, Emi went to bed early.

  She did not sleep.

  Later that night, after she was certain her men deeply slept, Emi slipped out of bed and dresse
d, grabbing her handheld as she headed toward the main hatch. By the time she reached the sim lab, Graymard was waiting there for her, dressed in jeans and an Arizona Cardinals T-shirt.

  She stopped short at the sight, not used to seeing him in anything but a uniform and a lab coat. “Thank you for coming back,” she softly said to cover her initial confusion at his appearance.

  He offered her a tired smile. “I’ve been staying here in one of the guest suites since we started the process. I didn’t want to venture too far afield and not be available to you.”

  She felt guilty over that, that his life was upended over her. “I’m sorry.”

  He waved her apology off. “Don’t be. This is part of my job. I’m not married, and my dog doesn’t care where we sleep as long as I feed and walk him on time.” He kindly smiled. “I know we were never what one could call close before, but I’ve been rather fond of you since the day you first walked into my office for your initial interview. Seeing how you interacted with Aaron, Caph, and Ford in the sim only reinforced that opinion.”

  She blushed. “Thanks,” she mumbled.

  “I’ve prepared the playback series you asked for. Are you sure you want to do this alone? You don’t want to wait for Donna or your men to accompany you?”

  She nodded. “I know it’s going to hurt. But I also know it didn’t really happen.”

  He shrugged. “Very well.” He led her over to the closest sim bed and helped get her settled before he attached the sensor leads to her forehead. He put a button in her hand. “I’ll start you out as an observer. I won’t immerse you until you tell me to. Remember, if it’s too intense, hit that button and everything will pause and you’ll feel like you’re standing in a sim room watching it instead of being part of it.”

  She nodded, holding a deep breath as he closed the lid of the sim bed, waiting to let it out again until she sensed him move away toward the control console.