Out of the Darkness Read online

  It would be wrong.

  Would it? Steve tethered her to him emotionally with a series of lies. He wanted kids. He wasn’t drinking. What else had he lied about? Isn’t that what he’d said in the hospital, that he was tired of lying?

  How long had he been drinking again? Would she tap enough walls at the Ohio house and find a secret stash there, too? Or maybe being in this crazy place drove him over the edge once opportunity knocked.

  She must have drifted, because the sound of the front door startled her. “Matt?”

  “I’ll be right up.” She heard grocery bags rattle and the fridge door open.

  A few minutes later, he stood outside the bathroom door. “I made you a drink.”

  “Bring it in.”

  “Sam—”

  “Matt, please. I appreciate it, but drop the pretense.”

  She closed her eyes and heard the door swing open. He touched the cold glass to her hand and she wrapped her fingers around it, brushing against his. He hesitated for a moment before letting go.

  “Thank you.” She didn’t want to open her eyes and lose the fantasy she was working on. She brought the glass to her lips. Orange juice, vodka, and soda water.

  She hadn’t had one of these in years. Not since…

  Not since the night they made love the last time.

  They had known then that they were breaking up, yet neither wanted to voice the finality of it. No fighting, no screaming. Just quiet agreement that Matt didn’t want to see anyone else, but he didn’t know if, or when, he’d ever feel ready to get married and have kids. For some reason she felt pressured to move forward with her life, wanting it all. She was published and independent, items crossed off her “life list,” and was in a hurry to get married, start a family.

  He let her go, even introduced her to Steve at a party a few months later.

  Look where it got her.

  “It’s good, thank you.” She pressed the cool glass to her cheek.

  “You’re welcome.” Ice rattled in his glass as he took a sip. “I think it’s time we have a talk.”

  She nodded and sensed him sit on the edge of the tub.

  “You know,” he continued, “it’s difficult for me to have a conversation with you lying there like that.”

  “Like what?” She smiled, picturing his face.

  “I think you know exactly what I mean, Sam.”

  “What I know,” she said, “is I’m filing for divorce sometime in the next few weeks. I am a married woman who hasn’t had sex in over six months because her husband’s got some major issues that I no longer have any desire to work through. He’s lied to me. I’m done. I told him flat-out at the intervention that if he started drinking again, we were through. God only knows how long he’s been lying to me. Or about what else.”

  “Then I’ll buy you a vibrator.”

  His comment shocked her enough to open her eyes. He wore the half smile she loved, the one that always melted her. He was different in so many ways from Steve. Quiet, some would say withdrawn. She knew the truth, that he was more deeply intense than anyone suspected. He didn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve for the world to see.

  “Maybe I’ll grow too attached to it,” she teased. “Not need a man anymore.” She lowered her eyelids in what she hoped looked a seductive manner. Her glass already half empty, he hadn’t made the drink as strong as she would have liked.

  “Oh, I’m not worried about that. The point I’m trying to make”—he arched an eyebrow at her, making her giggle—“is you are still married. My best friend’s wife. Regardless of our history, or what he’s done, or how justified you are, we shouldn’t compromise ourselves.”

  She took another sip. “That didn’t seem to be a problem earlier.”

  He studied his glass. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to. I’m saying we need to keep things as uncomplicated as we can, mostly for your sake, until your divorce is final. If he thinks we’re in this together—”

  “We are, aren’t we?”

  He scowled at her again, ignoring her interruption. “If he thinks we deliberately planned this, it could get real ugly, real quick. I have to work with Steve, at least for a while. We have business contracts. The smarter we handle this, even if it means sacrificing for a while, the easier it’ll be on both of us in the long run.”

  “I don’t want his money, Matt.”

  “Did I say that? He can drag things out, deposition us, and bring out a lot of things that would make you and I look pretty horrible. We can spare him his dignity, at least. Maybe I can figure a way to gracefully bow out of being his agent.”

  She drained her glass and handed it to him. “Can I have another, please?” she whispered. Drunk, schmunk. If her husband drank without provocation, wasn’t she entitled to get schnockered with the best reason of all?

  Matt finished his, took her glass, and left the bathroom.

  The ice pack had almost completely melted. She dumped it into the tub and dropped the plastic bag on the floor, running more hot water into the tub.

  He returned with fresh drinks and retook his place on the side of the tub. “You know, it’s hard to sit here and look at you lying there like that.”

  She smiled. “You said that already. That’s your choice, not mine. I already made a suggestion and you shot me down.”

  “That’s not fair and you know it.”

  “No, what’s not fair is I trusted him. I stayed with him when he was a drunk, and he told me he wanted the same things I did. I believed in him. I supported him and put up with his bullshit, and he robbed me of all the years I might have spent with you.”

  There. She’d said it. She gulped down half her drink, feeling the effects.

  “Sweetie,” he said quietly, “we’d already broken up.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t tell me we might not have got back together if I hadn’t met him.”

  “You’re right. I can’t. Yes, we might have eventually got back together. God knows no one has ever lived up to my expectations since I lost you. I’ve regretted introducing you to Steve from the moment I saw how he looked at you. I knew the second he shook your hand he’d marry you. Do you know how hard that is, watching your best friend marry the only woman you’ve ever loved and knowing you were the dumb-ass who gave her away?”

  He drained his glass in two swallows, ice rattling against the sides. She suspected he’d mixed his drinks a lot stronger than hers.

  They let the silence lie between them for several minutes. Sami finished her drink and sat up, putting her glass on the floor next to the tub. She touched his wrist. “Please?”

  He didn’t meet her eyes. “Sam, if we do—”

  “Tonight. That’s all I’m asking for is tonight. Just one night. We’ll handle the rest later. But tonight, now…” She searched for the right words. “I want to feel the peace I used to feel when I was with you.”

  He remained silent for a long time. “It’s wrong.”

  “Please?”

  He finally met her eyes. “I can’t tell you no. I never could.” Except for the one time that cost him their relationship.

  She rose to her knees and gently stroked his cheek. “Then don’t.” She kissed him.

  It felt like hours they sat there, tasting each other, remembering how it felt, the same and yet different and new. He put his glass on the floor, around the corner of the tub so he wouldn’t kick it, and turned to her, stripping off his shirt. She ran her hands over his chest, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent. He unwrapped the wet bandages from her hand and wrist, used a washcloth to sponge her flesh, kissed her hand, fighting the urge to rip Steve’s head off at the neck. The gouges were healing, but she’d have scars.

  She tried to loosen his belt, and he gently pushed her away. Instead he knelt beside the tub, cradling her in his arm. With his lips on hers, he trailed his other hand up one leg, across her belly, and around her far hip, teasing.

  She moaned at his touch. Her eyes closed and her breathing gr
ew faster.

  If he only had one night, he wouldn’t waste it.

  She clung to his neck as she devoured his lips, nearly frantic in her desire for release. His fingers traced a slow, lingering path inside her far leg, up toward her thigh. She opened for him, ready, willing.

  Some memories don’t die. The flesh and heart and soul remember. His hands recalled every nuance of her body, every stroke, every gentle curve, and they found their way without him having to think about it. He lowered his mouth to her left breast, flicking her nipple with his tongue as his fingers slipped between her legs. Already wet, she arched her hips to meet his touch.

  He closed his eyes and savored every moment, enjoying the feel of her hands in his hair, then her nails raking across his shoulders as he brought her closer to orgasm. Making love with her had always been a joy, and his heart nearly broke at how many years it had been since he’d held her in his arms.

  Too many years.

  He moved to her right breast, teasing her nipple into a stiff nub while he slipped two fingers inside her. His thumb stroked her swollen clit. He could do this all night with her despite how his cock ached to be inside her. Minutes later she moaned, gasping as he brought her release.

  She clung to him, not wanting to let go, sobbing with emotion he knew might be in no small part due to the drinks and the day’s events rather than his skills.

  * * * *

  Steve awoke with a buzzing rage in his head, voices from his dreams swirling down a dark drain as he fought his way to consciousness.

  His heart raced and he gasped. What happened?

  Another bad dream, that’s all.

  Out of the darkness, more phantom voices invaded in his brain.

  Lisa, daddy told you to come here…

  Puta!

  Poisoning whore!

  All I’m asking for is tonight.

  That last voice was Sami’s. He knew it through the very core of his being.

  “God, will this ever stop?” He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed to wake up, certain he was still dreaming.

  They never should have left Ohio. It was a horrible mistake. Everything went wrong when they came here, everything spun out of his control.

  * * * *

  Matt flipped the drain handle. Nuzzling Sami’s neck, he kissed her behind the ear, making her moan again. “Do you want another drink?”

  She nodded and pressed her face against his neck.

  “You dry off, I’ll go get it.” He helped her out of the tub, and she clung to him, kissing him, reluctant to let go.

  “Okay,” she said, taking the towel he handed her. He took her glass and followed her from the bathroom. Not that he wasn’t having a hard time walking from that encounter, from the effect she had on him, but he hoped to get her drunk enough to fall asleep. He’d have to take a long, cold shower, but she might be better off in the long run, without guilt.

  Hell, then again, who was he to judge what was best for her? She was an adult.

  He made her a fresh drink and looked at the plastic grocery bag on the counter, the box of Trojans visible through the opaque plastic. He knew she’d been half joking, but he also knew how persuasive she could be.

  And how much he wanted her.

  Better safe than sorry.

  He put the condoms in his back pocket. He flattened the box and buried it in the kitchen trash. He’d empty it in the morning, before Steve came home.

  He carried her drink upstairs and found her stretched out across her bed, a playful smile lighting her face. “Why, sir, I do believe you’re trying to seduce me.”

  He laughed. Yeah, she was buzzed. “I think it’s the other way around, madam.” She sat up and took the drink from him.

  “Which way around would that be?” She rolled over on her tummy without spilling her drink and wiggled her hips at him. “This way around?”

  He fought a losing battle for control. She wasn’t the only one who’d gone months without sex.

  Try years.

  He took her drink and rolled her over, grabbing her good hand and pulling her to her feet. “Not here,” he said, serious. “Not in this room.” He pulled her to him and kissed her, backing them out of the bedroom and into the guest room.

  He set her glass on the dresser without breaking their kiss, and they worked their way to the bed. He slipped the condoms out of his pocket and put them on the bedside table.

  In for a penny, in for a pound.

  He put his arms around her and gave up all pretense of resisting, devouring her with his lips, working his way from her mouth down her neck to her breasts. She moaned, pulling his face tight against her, as he drifted lower.

  He knelt before her and pushed her thighs apart. Seconds after his lips and tongue started working on her clit, he had her gasping for breath, begging, pleading for him not to stop.

  He didn’t. He slipped two fingers inside her pussy as he wrapped his lips around her clit and lightly sucked.

  He felt the muscles of her pussy contracting around his fingers as she exploded. She held on to his shoulders as he made her come three times, hard, in quick succession. Her body trembled when he stood and lowered her to the bed to finish what he started.

  Her eyes fluttered open. “Wow,” she whispered.

  He smiled. “Wow.”

  He dropped his pants, and she pulled him closer to the bed, not letting him sit. As he twined his fingers in her hair and felt her mouth on his cock, his knees nearly buckled.

  She apparently remembered things, too. Without hesitation her tongue circled the head of his cock, exactly as he remembered. She gently flicked the underside of his head, in the sensitive spot there that she’d always taken great pleasure in tormenting when giving him head. With one hand she held the base of his cock, and with the other she cupped his sac.

  She stopped short of giving him release. She pulled him onto the bed and rolled on top of him, pinning him, teasing him, forcing him to cool down to a slow simmer.

  He gave in, letting her remind him of all the nights they’d spent exploring each others’ bodies, learning ways to make the other moan.

  He heard a rustling noise. In seconds, she had the condom on him and he easily slid his cock inside her. She was more than ready.

  He gasped, resting his hands on her hips and thrusting up to meet her. They were both a few pounds heavier but still fit perfectly. She leaned forward, still in control, kissing him. His hands caressed her breasts, and he played with her nipples while she set a slow, steady rhythm that even this close to the brink would keep him simmering for a while.

  He slipped a hand between them, finding the spot he knew would melt her, rubbing her clit and wanting to feel her come around his cock. She moaned. In a few minutes he felt her contract around him, knowing she’d come again.

  He rolled her over and thrust while she wrapped her arms and legs around him and held on, increasing in tempo and force until he exploded inside her and he added his cries to hers, pulling her hips tightly against him while he crested the waves of his climax.

  They collapsed, breathless. “Wow,” he whispered. Had it always been that good? What kind of idiot let a woman like this get away? He’d father twenty, fifty kids with her if she wanted them.

  Jesus, I’m a moron.

  “Wow,” she echoed, kissing him. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Matt.”

  He propped himself up on one elbow so he could look into her eyes. “I’ve never stopped loving you either.”

  She wiggled free and disappeared, returning with a towel.

  “Kind of a buzzkill, I know,” she said.

  He nodded, lay there with his eyes closed. A moment later he realized she was doing more than cleaning up and responded.

  She slipped another condom onto his cock. This time he started on top, slow and gentle, with long, deep thrusts. He knew she might not be able to come again, but he wanted to feel her body as long as he could for tonight.

  He didn’t know how long it might be until th
ey could be together again.

  He took his time, nibbling her shoulder and smiling when she still responded the same way. Memories flooded back, nights he’d tried not to think about for so long.

  He wished he hadn’t wasted so many years.

  * * * *

  Matt fit her perfectly, like two halves of a whole. Sami never felt like this with Steve. Yes, Steve was a courteous lover and always satisfied her. For her part, she never felt the fire, the passion she’d shared with Matt.

  “God, I missed you,” she whispered.

  Their rhythm was perfectly synced. Even if she didn’t climax again, she enjoyed feeling his cock fill her pussy, being a part of her.

  He slowed his pace and his hand once again slid between their bodies. She gasped as he stroked her clit with his finger. He somehow managed to slow his thrusts and hold back, wanting to come with her. She felt every stroke as the muscles of her pussy grabbed at his cock.

  He looked down into her eyes, and she knew that, no matter what, she wouldn’t let him walk out of her life again.

  As he felt her start to climax, he picked up the pace of his thrusts, enjoying the feel of sinking his cock deep inside her. While his timing wasn’t perfect, it was close enough.

  She was slower to reach for the towel that time. He cradled her, nuzzling her neck and kissing her shoulder. “I’m not letting you get away again, Sam. You know that, right?”

  “Who says I want to get away?”

  If there were any noises from the hall or attic that night, they didn’t hear them.

  Matt awoke around dawn to the sensation of her wonderfully warm mouth engulfing his cock. His fingers gently fisted her hair, and she lifted her head.

  “Good morning. I didn’t think you’d ever wake up.”

  “I thought we agreed it was only going to be last night until you’re divorced,” he said with a smile and wishing he hadn’t interrupted her.

  “There’s still one condom left. Why waste it?”

  He couldn’t argue with that logic.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine