The Strength of the Pack Read online

  A serene smile illuminated Crawford’s features. “I’ll take that as a compliment, Tilly.”

  “Good, because I meant it as one. If you had Alan Rickman’s voice, buddy, Landry might have some serious competition for my attention when we’re here.”

  He did have the slightest bit of an accent. Working in a call center, Eva was used to hearing people from all over the country. “Are you from Britain?” she asked him.

  “No. Well, technically, yes. I lived there for six years as a kid and my sister was actually born there. Military brats. In high school back in the US, I discovered the girls loved a British accent, so I didn’t totally lose all of it or the idioms.”

  He had long, willowy fingers and had tied his black hair back with a leather thong. She was used to seeing premature grey in a man’s hair. Leo’s had started turning grey before he was thirty, although this man still had far more black than grey compared to Leo. His brown eyes appeared almost black in the dim light.

  She’d never really paid close attention to him before. He exuded a calm energy that relaxed her far more than she’d expected it to.

  Usually, she spent so much time trying to keep barriers between herself and others that she rarely got close to people unless they made an effort to draw her in.

  He prepped his needles and swabbed several areas on her forehead and ears with alcohol wipes, waving his hand over them to dry the alcohol.

  “My little sister, however,” he said, “is completely Americanized. Damned shame, too. She always picks on me when I refer to french fries as ‘chips.’”

  “I’m going to tell her you said that,” Tilly playfully threatened.

  “Go ahead, darling. She’s manning the front desk tonight.”

  “She is? How the hell did I miss her?”

  “I don’t know, but she’ll be awfully hurt if you don’t say hi when we’re done.”

  “Rats.”

  “Your sister is here, too?” Eva asked.

  “Yes, my baby sister is a Domme. I would say I corrupted her, but two kinky children from the same mother likely means it’s in our genes. No arguments with that. My mom was fairly dominant. She ran our home like a military unit, in the good ways.”

  “Is it just the two of you?” Eva didn’t like talking about her own family and hoped he didn’t ask.

  “Yes, just me and Cherise, since she was nine and I was twenty-one. My mom and step-dad died in an accident, and I raised her.”

  “Oh. I’m so sorry.”

  He shrugged, reaching in and placing the first needle in her forehead. “Family comes first. Always. Let me know if you feel any discomfort or pain.”

  “Okay.”

  He placed more needles, Tilly maintaining her comforting grip on Eva’s hand. But…

  Even if Tilly hadn’t been there, now that Eva had allowed herself to relax, she realized she didn’t feel threatened by the man. He had a gentle, calm, serene way about him.

  Jesse walked over. “You doing okay?”

  Eva didn’t want to move. “Yeah, I’m okay. I don’t know why I waited so long to have this done.”

  Yes, she did.

  So did Jesse.

  But it wasn’t a topic of conversation for the location or the mixed company, so better to let Tilly and Crawford both think it was a fear of needles.

  Jesse smiled and winked at her before heading back to Leo’s side.

  I wish they were bi.

  Just her luck, now that she’d expanded her circle of friends and realized it wasn’t uncommon for people to be poly, she was living with two guys who were gay and not even slightly homoflexible.

  Or would that have made them heteroflexible?

  Well, it didn’t matter, because they weren’t poly.

  After twenty minutes or so, as Eva lay there with her eyes closed while Crawford and Tilly talked and playfully bantered over her, Eva realized she had relaxed. Tilly was actually holding her hand now, not the other way around.

  Not once had Eva flinched from contact with Crawford.

  When he finished with her about twenty minutes after that and had removed all the needles, Tilly helped her sit up and made sure she was okay before she went to go help one of their friends who was having a corset malfunction.

  Crawford walked around the table to stand in front of Eva, staring into her eyes.

  She didn’t want to look away.

  After glancing around to make sure no one was within earshot, he dropped his voice. “If you ever want to come in, with Leo or Jesse, or alone, I’ll be happy to work with you on managing your stress and anxiety.”

  Her reaction must have given her away, because he reached out and, without touching her, indicated one of the faint, pale lines on her upper arm, one that disappeared under the short sleeve of her dress and most people never noticed.

  His gaze didn’t falter. “You aren’t the first to do that,” he whispered, “but it carries inherent risks. Sometimes I can help people manage stress and anxiety without you having to resort to that.”

  She found herself nodding. Here she’d thought her secret was totally hidden, skillfully, artfully. Yes, Leo, and now Jesse, they knew. Only because they lived with her and knew her past.

  This was…well, nearly a total stranger.

  The first person to peg her like that. Hell, even Leah, who Eva knew had a rough history, had never seemed to notice. She’d never caught anyone looking at her arms and legs at any of the pool parties when she was in a bathing suit, or wore a tank top or shorts.

  Then again, you had to know what you were looking for, and the implications.

  He offered her a hand to get down off the table.

  After a deep breath, she laid her hand in his and let him help her. “Thank you,” she said.

  “My pleasure.” He gave her a slight bow. “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”

  After one last look his way, she headed back to the familiar safety of Leo and Jesse.

  Chapter Four

  Crawford worked with probably a dozen people that night, but his thoughts kept returning to Eva.

  The three had left a little before eleven that night, as had many of the regulars who would be attending the wedding tomorrow.

  Eva’s energy had responded to him in a way he wasn’t…used to. He’d dealt with people in a wide variety of emotional and physical states, from depression and grief to euphoria and orgasm, the bad kind of physical pain, anger, joy, mellow—

  He couldn’t classify her.

  That was unusual for him. He considered himself an expert at reading people he worked with. He needed that skill as a necessary component of his job, to be effective with what he did both through Reiki and his other treatment techniques.

  Eva was an enigma, as if she were so used to blocking people out that she didn’t know how to open up.

  Only toward the end of their session had he sensed the slightest vulnerability, when he’d guessed correctly about what he saw and made the offer to her.

  Whether or not she’d accept it was another thing.

  He hated seeing people in pain—physically or emotionally—and being unable to help them.

  He was a sadist, not an asshole. And he didn’t really think calling himself a sadist was completely accurate, no matter what Tilly thought. Manipulating a person to get the desired outcome didn’t always involve pain, although it could, if that was what they wanted.

  Or needed.

  And some people honestly needed it.

  He’d worked with one woman who had spent years trading one addiction for another to avoid emotional pain, until she’d somehow ended up in his office. She’d managed to give up drugs and alcohol but still struggled with smoking and then overeating.

  Among other things.

  When a few gentle questions led him to an accurate conclusion about the original source of her emotional pain, he’d been able to offer her an outlet.

  Within six months, she’d reported massive breakthroughs with her therapy and
no longer felt the need to self-injure, which she’d just started engaging in before she started seeing him as a client.

  Unconventional, sure, but if it worked, why question the means?

  She was now letting her doctor try her on anti-depressants that, in conjunction with her therapy, had turned her into a new woman.

  Now when she came into his office, she saw him simply for stress and anxiety that tightened the muscles in her neck and shoulders to nearly painful levels. And that he could easily help her with.

  But Eva…

  She stayed on his mind even after he packed up for the night and was riding home with Cherise.

  “You’ve been awfully quiet,” she noted. “Usually you’re a little chatterbox.”

  “Huh?”

  “Is your headache back?”

  “No. I feel fine.”

  “Then what’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing. Just the energy from one of the people I worked on tonight.”

  “Bad?”

  “No…just…” He tried to find a word. “Unusual. I’m still processing.”

  What he didn’t want to admit was he’d felt somewhat drawn to Eva the longer he worked on her.

  The fact that he was thinking about her now like this might even be problematic. He didn’t want personal emotions muddying the treatment waters.

  “Wow. Must have been some lady.”

  “How do you know it was a lady?”

  “Well, you never get hooked in by a guy, and other than Leo and Jesse, you only worked on women tonight, as far as I know.”

  He hated when she was right.

  And she knew she was right, which made it even more infuriating. “Ha.” She looked infuriatingly smug.

  He glanced at her. “You can be a very annoying little sister sometimes. You know that?”

  “Yes. And yet you didn’t throw me under a tank or mail me to Alaska when I was a kid.”

  “No, I didn’t. You’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you.”

  “Stuck like glue,” she replied, their old mantra.

  “Me and you.”

  Home alone again, he set about his normal routine. He kept the house tidy, organized. Some might say sparse. Having military parents had taught him well about keeping things trimmed down.

  It’d been weird when Cherise had moved out last year. He’d briefly had one roommate, but fortunately for Nate, he moved on quickly once his situation turned around.

  He wasn’t interested in another roommate. Cherise had told him to consider it a character-building experience.

  He’d thought it was a pain in the ass.

  Okay, yes, he’d admit to being a Dominant. If wanting things exactly the way he wanted them and keeping them that way made him a control freak, sure, he’d own that.

  Even raising Cherise hadn’t been as nerve-wracking as learning how to get along with someone who was nearly a stranger.

  You might think you’re close friends with someone until you’re actually living with them and have to listen to them fart during their first pee of the morning.

  Every morning.

  And not even a polite little toot, but a rip-rolling zipper of a fart that sounded like the bowels of Hell itself were being aromatically emptied into the other bathroom.

  Not cool.

  Not cool at all.

  No, people couldn’t control stuff like that, but when it happened Every.

  Single.

  Morning.

  That’s when it turned from an annoyance into an obviously passive-aggressive attempt to stake a more permanent claim on the space than was intended.

  Now Nate understood why the guy’s last roommate had kicked him out after three months.

  Fortunately, the guy had got a new job at better pay and quickly moved.

  * * * *

  Once they were home, settled in for the night, and Eva was alone in her room, she had time to reflect on the evening. Ever since working with Crawford, she had felt…different. A little lighter inside.

  She had never been a big believer in alternative medicine until she saw what a positive impact it’d had on Leo. He hated taking pain killers and wanted to get to the point—as quickly as his body would allow him—of working full time again.

  But he was a welder. That meant he was still not ready for doing more than what he was now, managing the office a few hours a week and handling bookkeeping and scheduling from home.

  Leo had tried driving and could manage it if his pain levels were low and his energy levels high, but it still wasn’t a reliable skill he could claim yet.

  She knew it chafed him, too.

  One of the things she’d always loved about Leo was how hard he worked. Not to the exclusion of his family, but to take care of them. He hated having to rely on them for day-to-day things.

  His healing was, according to his doctors, going well, even ahead of what they had anticipated.

  If you asked Leo, it was a snail’s pace.

  By this time tomorrow night, Leo and Jesse would be legally married, and she’d be…

  Pretty much the same emotional wreck she’d always been. Leo was right. She was stronger than she thought, and she’d get through this. There were plenty of men who never would have put up with what Leo did during the divorce.

  Something she felt infinitely ashamed of now.

  No matter how much they tried to tell her the delay tactics she’d used hadn’t led to Leo’s accident, to her they had. Had they been divorced, he likely wouldn’t have been standing there at her door that evening after dropping Laurel off. They wouldn’t have had the chat where she’d told him she was dropping her challenges and delays.

  He would, at the very least, have been out of there a few minutes earlier. Missed the driver at the intersection.

  Would have gone home, unscathed, to Jesse.

  When Tilly tried to inject a little logic into the situation, that maybe if she hadn’t delayed the divorce Leo never would have met Jesse in the first place, Eva didn’t want to think like that.

  Leo was happy. Laurel was happy.

  They wanted her to be happy.

  Her job now was to keep working toward whatever that meant. To learn how to silence her past for good and try to focus on the future.

  She’d survived a lot in her life.

  She could survive this, too, with her family walking beside her.

  Her pack.

  And it did kind of feel like that. Sometimes the three of them would sit on the couch to watch TV, with her between the men and Laurel stretched out in their laps.

  They were a pack.

  It would be an exceptional man indeed who could not only make it through Tilly’s high standards but pass muster with Leo and Jesse as well.

  Then, if all those barriers were successfully crossed, there would be the Typhoon Laurel test. With Laurel nearly seven, if whoever wanted to be a part of Eva’s life couldn’t deal with Laurel—or if Laurel hated them—it was finished. Eva would never have anyone in her life who couldn’t accept the complicated package deal that was her pack.

  Oddly enough, she was finding herself okay with that admission. It no longer triggered panicked, what-if thoughts in her brain that maybe she’d spend the rest of her life alone.

  Maybe what she needed to do was learn how to be alone a little more.

  Leo had lovingly sheltered her in countless ways, without either of them even realizing it at the time. He’d been the calm, the oasis, the stalwart fortress that kept her nightmares away, both the real and the imaginary ones.

  He still was, him and Jesse both, except they didn’t share a bed with her.

  Tomorrow night, though, for the first time since Leo’s accident, she wouldn’t have a man in the house.

  Tilly would be spending the night, but while scary in her own right, Tilly didn’t count as a man.

  One of her men.

  From when Leo was in the accident, until the men had permanently moved in with her, either Jesse or both me
n had been there at the house with her at night—if she wasn’t working a night shift, that was.

  Tomorrow night, Jesse and Leo would spend their first night married at Lucas and Leigh’s, out in their pool house apartment. It would only be the one night, because Jesse and Eva both had to work Tuesday. Laurel would have to go to school Monday. Leo would need to handle stuff Monday at work, meaning Jesse would spend a chunk of his first day married in Leo’s welding shop, helping him with office work.

  After the wedding tomorrow night, Tilly and a bunch of their friends were taking Eva and Laurel out to dinner and then coming back to the house with them to play all sorts of board games with Laurel, until the girl fell asleep.

  Leo had arranged for Tilly to spend the night, not wanting Eva there alone.

  Just in case.

  She loved him for it, even though she knew she’d be okay. Would she cry?

  Yes. Absolutely. Hardly a day had passed since Leo first moved out that she didn’t cry at least once between crawling out of bed in the morning and collapsing back into it at night. Even more so once Leo had the accident.

  But…she felt herself slowly mending, little by little, from the inside out.

  She had a lot of work to do on herself. With Leo, she’d thought she’d be okay and hadn’t bothered, shoving away any thoughts she didn’t like and focusing on him and then on Laurel.

  It had taken all of this happening to realize she did want to change. She wasn’t happy with who she’d been for all these years.

  Maybe, even with all the pain and tears, the kindest thing Leo had ever done for her was to divorce her.

  Chapter Five

  “Mommy, it’s your turn!”

  “Sorry.” Laurel had insisted on playing Hello Kitty Monopoly.

  All.

  Night.

  Long.

  Following the wedding, the lot of them ate dinner at a fondue restaurant, which had tickled Laurel to no end to realize she could play with her food. Now it was Laurel, Eva, Tilly, Loren, Leah, June, Eliza, Marcia, and Shayla crowded around their dining room table, keeping the girl occupied.