You Don't Know What Love Is Read online

  Rom had his own insecurities through no fault of his own, his own pain to work through.

  But together, they’d made magick, which only seemed to grow stronger by the day.

  Rom lightly tugged on Colton’s balls, stroked his cock just enough to tease him and make him moan. He didn’t move, other than to rock his hips in time with Rom’s motions. He didn’t pull his hands from the wall.

  He knew what made Rom hot—him willingly submitting to him, be it pain or pleasure.

  In fact, Colton felt Rom lay his cheek against the middle of his back, his short beard and mustache slightly raspy along his flesh and feeling sexy as fuck.

  As Rom’s hands slowly tightened around Colton’s balls and cock, he softly spoke. “You sure you’re ready to spend the rest of your life being tortured by me?”

  Another of those delicious shivers zinged through Colton’s body, hair to toes and back again. “Yes, Sir. I can’t wait to be your husband.”

  Rom released his holds, his hands delving lower, down the fronts of Colton’s thighs. As Rom’s hands cupped him, he ground his hard cock against the seam of Colton’s ass.

  “I have plans for my boy after dinner,” Rom said. He raked his nails up the fronts of Colton’s thighs, digging in as he paused. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he softly asked. Rom’s hands resumed their trek north, cupping Colton’s pecs and his fingers zeroing in on Colton’s nipples.

  That made Colton’s already hard cock throb even more as Rom slowly pinched, increasing pressure.

  “You do things to me, too, Sir. This isn’t one-sided. You give me what I need and want. You give me everything I need and want. You want me—and I feel wanted.”

  Rom turned Colton to face him, staring up at him with those sweetly sexy brown eyes of his, his brown hair wet and dark as it lay plastered against his skull. “I’m always going to want you, baby. You trust me, and you’re willing to put up with what I need and let me have it. I swear I’ll never do anything to break the trust you’ve given me. I’m sorry I’m a possessive jerk.”

  Colton cupped Rom’s face. “Rommy, stop,” he gently said. “You’re not a jerk. A jerk wouldn’t apologize for being possessive. I like you feeling territorial about me. Plus, if you’ll recall, I told you I think it’s adorable. If I wasn’t happy giving you the amount of control that I already have, I wouldn’t have given it in the first place. I like that you can feel vulnerable with me. I love that you trust me with those parts of you.”

  With his thumb, Colton lightly brushed it across Rom’s lips. “I love that you were willing to take the risk with me to open up to me. You make me feel wanted, and loved, and like I’ve finally found my true home with you.”

  Rom hooked a hand around the back of Colton’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “I trust you,” he quietly said. “If I start to be a jerk, you have my permission to call me out on it, Colt. Promise me you will. Promise me you won’t follow me off the rails to the point of no-return, where we can’t save us. Please?”

  Maybe Rom was a sadist, and his Sir, and usually pretty self-assured, but he had a fragile, vulnerable heart.

  And he’d allowed Colton complete access to it.

  Colton was one of very few people who knew why—that Rom’s life-long fears stemmed from the murder of his parents by the estranged husband of the woman his father was having an affair with.

  Rom equated trust with safety, and a breach of trust with danger. Only five when their parents were murdered, Rom grew up with a very—rightfully—protective older brother. Ina and Chad were amazing people who raised Rom with limitless love, all while trying to protect Rom from the truth of what had happened.

  The truth that their father cheated on their mother with a woman whose estranged husband murdered her, them, and then took his own life.

  Colton pulled Rom into his arms and tightly held him. It was something he’d realized Rom loved, the security, the safety.

  The ability to finally relax and let go. Not submission, but the purest embodiment of trust.

  Rom allowed Colton to not only see him stripped bare, down to his emotional core, but he’d trusted Colton with the knowledge of why he was the way he was.

  Colton wasn’t naive enough to think everything would always be perfect between them. But he felt at peace that he would submit to Rom in the ways Rom needed him to, would always cultivate and cherish Rom’s trust, would gently speak his mind if he felt he had to, and that they’d always be able to work through any difficulties they had.

  “Sir,” Colton whispered, “I promise that I will never let things get bad between us. But that goes both ways. Don’t assume if I screw up that it means I’m not trying, or not listening. Give me a chance to fix things, too.”

  “I promise.” Rom’s arms tightened around him, and from the way he sniffled, Colton knew he was crying.

  Colton cradled Rom against his body, knowing Rom didn’t want him acknowledging his tears. His face lay pressed against Colton’s chest.

  “You’re stuck with me, Sir.” Colton nuzzled his face in Rom’s wet hair, breathing in his scent, the shampoo, even the slight tang of the water. “Because you’re not going to scare me off.”

  “Promise?”

  “I love every control freak bit of you, Sir.”

  * * * *

  Rom wasn’t sure what he’d done so right in his life to deserve someone like Colton, but he hoped he didn’t fuck it up. Tipping his head back, he stared up into Colton’s brown eyes. “Dinner on the couch, and then snuggling in bed?”

  One corner of his boy’s mouth playfully quirked. “I was hoping for more than snuggling, Sir, unless you’re not feeling up to playing.”

  Rom’s hands skimmed down Colton’s back, to his ass, where he still bore some nice marks from the evening before. “Sexy play, not impact play. I want to let you heal up a little more first.”

  “Aww.” The huge man pooked out his lower lip, drawing a chuckle from Rom.

  “No pouting, big guy.” He squeezed Colton’s ass. “We’ll have a whole lifetime together for me to spank you. I don’t want to burn you out a few weeks before our wedding.”

  Once out of the shower, they dried off and, together, heated leftovers in the kitchen for dinner.

  Rom loved watching Colton’s naked body. Rom simply hated wearing clothes when at home. He wasn’t a nudist, exactly. It was more an issue of the sensation of wearing clothes grated on him.

  Colton, on the other hand, had felt adorably uneasy with the enforced nudity, at first. He quickly grew more comfortable with it, less self-conscious, until now it was second nature to him.

  Ironic, considering how much time Colton spent in a gym.

  Once they finished eating, Colton collected their plates and insisted Rom remain on the couch while he finished cleaning up the kitchen. If Rom craned his neck back, he could watch Colton moving around in the kitchen.

  That sweet, tight, perfect ass of his. Those granite thighs.

  His Adonis belt.

  Nom!

  Okay, now his cock was starting to stiffen again. He reached down and gave it a long, slow tug, which finished hardening him while he watched Colton’s naked ass in the kitchen.

  It felt like forever before Colton finished with that and turned, smiling when he caught Rom watching him. Colton’s cock started stiffening as he crossed the room.

  “Should we move the couch back about a foot so you don’t get a kink in your neck watching me, Sir?”

  “Hmm. Might not be a bad idea.”

  Colton walked up behind him and leaned in, kissing the top of his head while his hands settled on Rom’s shoulders and started kneading.

  “Ooooh!” Rom’s eyes dropped closed and his hand stilled on his cock.

  This was his second-favorite kind of physical contact with Colton. His boy knew his way around a body because of his profession, and had, on more than one occasion, put Rom to sleep with his massages.

  “Feel good, Sir?” Rom didn’t h
ave to look to see the pleased smile on Colton’s face—he heard it in his boy’s playful tone.

  “You damn well know it does.” Rom sighed. “I was going to have you come blow me, but now I’m thinking I don’t want you to stop doing that.”

  Colton’s warm breath brushed across the back of Rom’s neck as he leaned in for a playful nibble along the nape of Rom’s neck. “Oooorrrr…here’s a crazy idea, Sir. I could give you a blow job and then give you a massage.”

  “Mmm. Decisions, decisions.” He tipped his head back. “I think I want us in bed, regardless.”

  They quickly headed that way and, moments later, Rom lay stretched out on his back, legs spread, with Colton’s beautiful body between his splayed thighs and his cock down Colton’s throat.

  Pulling a pillow under his head so he could watch Colton, Rom buried one hand in Colton’s short blond hair and stroked his scalp. “Take your time, baby. I’ll take care of you next.”

  Colton’s brown gaze crinkled at the outer edges as he went deeper on Rom’s cock, taking him to the root.

  Rom let out a hiss. “Sooo fucking good.”

  Colton reached up with his hands to play with Rom’s nipples. Rom’s cock jerked in response to his touch, pulsing along the heat of Colton’s sweet tongue.

  And as he lay there and enjoyed it, Rom realized something—he’d end up falling asleep almost immediately if he came like this.

  Meaning he wouldn’t make Colton come.

  Which, while Rom was a sadist, he was no asshole.

  He tapped Colton on top of the head. “Up, buddy. Change of plans.”

  He put Colton on his back and climbed on top of him in a sixty-nine. Before he swallowed Colton’s cock, he nipped the insides of his thighs. “Don’t hold back.”

  Although his eyes nearly rolled back in his head as Colton kicked off the brakes and went to town trying to get Rom over.

  His boy’s oral talents were definitely not in doubt.

  Not in the slightest.

  He barely managed to hold back and get Colton over first before finally letting go and filling Colton’s mouth with a load of cum. Now with a full tummy and empty balls, Rom dragged himself back around to cuddle with Colton.

  “That’s what I call a nightcap,” Rom said.

  Colton chuckled and draped an arm across Rom’s chest. “You said it, Sir.”

  Chapter Six

  Throughout the rest of the week the wedding plans literally exploded out of control. Apparently Kent wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be helping out, because he took Ina, Aunt Roberta, Lucy, and Sherry out for a long lunch on Friday, and the women returned giggling, half-drunk, and with armfuls of magazines and brochures to get the plans finalized.

  Rom also giggled over Colton’s obvious struggle to gracefully accept the events were going to play out beyond his control. Colton was so used to taking care of his own life that having everyone—besides Rom—step in like this, in a completely vanilla way, was throwing him for a loop.

  But his boy had no choice but to accept it, because Rom had a little private chat with Aunt Roberta. A serious one, wanting to know exactly what Rosalynn had said to her about Colton’s future.

  It confirmed that, yes, everyone did want to do this for Colton. And really, it would be a big barbecue more than anything. Definitely not an extravagant affair. A fun, light-hearted celebration for everyone.

  A chance for the people who’d loved and supported Colton for all these years to celebrate the day with him.

  With them. Because they’d wholeheartedly embraced Rom, too.

  Meanwhile, Rom had started shopping around for a day collar for his boy. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to buy him yet, but he knew he’d know it when he saw it. A bracelet wouldn’t be practical, because Colton would have to take it off while working in the studio, meaning he was leaning toward a necklace.

  Finding something that struck just the right chord in his soul was what had him stumped.

  I have a couple of weeks.

  Meanwhile, they were both looking forward to the rope class on Saturday. In fact, that morning, Rom lay in bed after Colton left, wide awake now because he knew he had to get up shortly to get ready for work. He hated working Saturdays, but it couldn’t be helped.

  Today, he downright resented it. Rom would be a liar of the worst kind if he said he was looking forward to the afternoon rope class with anything less than a child’s Christmas-morning enthusiasm. They’d attended a couple of rope classes already, but today’s class was the first in a series that would lead the riggers to being able to safely suspend a rope bottom.

  Rom’s rope cred was definitely in the beginner’s range. Sure, he could tie a guy up, or tie a guy to a piece of equipment, but his skills weren’t anything but rudimentary and utilitarian. Definitely not artistic.

  With a canvas as gorgeous as Colton, Rom wanted to do right by his boy and take his skills to the next level. Not to mention he wanted to be able to do it safely.

  Anything that stood between him and spending time with his boy drew at least some level of resentment from Rom. The more it interfered with their time together, the more Rom resented it.

  After a great amount of grumbling that was only partially in his head, Rom forced himself to roll over and sit up to discover that Colton had, in fact, left him a thermal mug of coffee next to the bed.

  Damn, I love that man.

  Only after taking a few long swallows from it did he fumble his alarm off on his phone and head to the bathroom to shower.

  He felt marginally more awake when he drove into the bank’s parking lot five minutes early. Denise, one of his coworkers, had just parked her car.

  “Morning, sunshine,” she called out.

  Rom grunted a greeting at her as he climbed out of his car. “How can you be so awake?”

  “I’m one of those disgusting morning people you hate so much.” She smiled. “Don’t know why the hell you like me. How’s the wedding plans coming?”

  Something to smile about. “They’re wildly out of control.”

  “I figured you’d want to be in charge of it all.”

  “Nope. I’m happy to go hands-off. Colton’s aunt, and the grannies, and my sister-in-law, and our friends, are all having the time of their lives planning this. Won’t even let us pay for it. I’m happy to let them do their thing. They know it’s a zero-peanut zone, and that I want Publix cake.”

  “Mmm. Publix cake. Lucky bastard.”

  “If you guys weren’t going out of town, you, too, could have Publix cake.” He smiled.

  “Don’t tempt me. I’m looking for a reason to not visit my sister-in-law. Ugh. I might have to get sick at the last minute and miss the flight.”

  Rom had to fill in as a teller and cover the drive-thru today, which wasn’t his favorite but beat having to take lead on the counter. They were short-handed today due to one of their tellers being out on maternity leave, and another being needed at their Venice branch today to fill in for someone else out on maternity leave.

  It’s raining babies.

  Fortunately, not a problem he and Colton would ever have to worry about. Colton loved Rom’s nephews, and the feeling was apparently mutual.

  Finally, Rom was able to leave work right on time and returned to Colton’s place by two.

  Not Colton’s—our place.

  He was still processing that. In a good way, though. He’d emptied more of his things from the apartment. The kitchen was bare, and he’d started packing boxes of books and DVDs. At this rate, he’d be down to nothing but furniture in a week.

  Rom had just walked through the back door when Colton emerged from the rear store entrance with a playful smile on his face.

  “Thought I saw you drive past.” He leaned in for a kiss and nuzzled Rom’s left cheek as he squeezed Rom’s hand, their vanilla-friendly greeting. “Welcome home, Sir. Is it time to get ready yet?” He waggled his eyebrows at Rom.

  Rom laughed. “You’re not eager at allll, are y
ou, baby?” He reached down and palmed the front of Colton’s jeans, loving the firm bulge he felt under his palm.

  “Fuck, Sir,” he muttered, covering Rom’s hand with his own and squeezing. “I spent this morning carrying something in my hands when working with clients so I could hide my damn chub.”

  “Can you leave the store yet, or do they still need you.”

  “I told Aunt Roberta I was done for the day and she shooed me out. I think they wanted to get rid of me so they could discuss wedding stuff.” He tried to steal another kiss, but Rom stopped him.

  “Then let’s go upstairs before I let you hump me silly right here. I don’t want to be late for the rope class.”

  Colton’s brown gaze sparkled with devious mirth. “I could drop to my knees and blow you right here, Sir.”

  “Don’t tempt me.” He released Colton’s crotch after one more squeeze. “Upstairs. Now.”

  * * * *

  Although Colton knew his chances of persuading Rom to have an early romp with him were probably slim, he still had to try. He knew Rom was looking forward to them playing in the dungeon tonight, and would want him fully revved up beforehand.

  Meaning he had a long afternoon of teasing ahead of him before he’d be allowed to come.

  Not that he minded.

  When Rom got like this, in these little sadistic moods, it always made things between them that much hotter. And Rom never made him wait too long for relief.

  It didn’t help that he knew dang well Rom was getting off on Colton’s discomfort over having basically no control over their wedding plans. Even the officiant was being arranged by Kent, although he had assured Colton that the woman was not only kink-friendly, but that she frequently performed these kinds of functions for friends in common in the kinky community.

  Although in their case, it’d be watered down and vanilla-friendly.

  Rom stepped aside so Colton could go first, and he was totally okay with it being that he knew Rom loved watching his ass.

  Hell, it was one of the reasons he was determined to keep his ass in shape, and not just because it literally was like a calling card for his personal training services.