For the Roses Read online

  To realizing he hadn’t been in love with her, and she’d wasted three years of her life on him.

  At least now I know if a guy likes me it won’t be for my rack.

  Chapter Seven

  Elvin spent his week researching BDSM, including buying several non-fiction titles Eliza sent him the links to on Amazon and devouring them.

  He really wanted this. This kind of relationship.

  It…spoke to him on a deeper level and felt right.

  His next big step would be the munch, where Eliza told him she’d introduce him to his first potential match, an old friend of friends of hers, people she trusted. Even better, Eliza assured him, the woman was a submissive with experience in the lifestyle already.

  Despite logically knowing there was little to worry about, Elvin still felt nervous as they headed for the restaurant Sunday evening. Tonight, though, Jackson was driving. When they’d arrived to pick him up and Noah had offered to move to the backseat so Elvin could ride shotgun, Elvin declined.

  “I’m a little achy tonight. I prefer the backseat on days like this. I can spread out and get comfortable more easily.”

  Jackson glanced back at him. “Are you all right? If you want to cancel, we understand.”

  “Nah. I’ll survive. I’ve had worse pain days. I mowed the lawn this morning, and that was my first mistake. Actually, that was my second mistake. I should have skipped my workout first thing this morning since I knew I needed to mow. That’s what pushed me over the edge, I think. I need to look into getting a lawn service, now that I can afford it. I don’t need to do it for exercise anymore.”

  “Eliza texted me and said they’ll be there,” Jackson said.

  Elvin snorted. “I know. I think that woman knows more about me now than my own family does.”

  “How so?”

  He related the texts and phone conversations all week between him and Eliza. “She definitely strikes me as a woman who’s… determined.”

  “You have no idea. The Frightful Five take their mission very seriously.”

  “How’d that get started, anyway?”

  “One of the long-time members, Tilly, started unofficially doing it. She’s actually Landry’s wife, the guy you met last week. But then she started a new job and couldn’t be around a lot, so she appointed some trusted others to take over in her place. It’s not just them, though. Everyone kind of keeps an eye out for everyone else. Including for potential matches.”

  “You two meet through them?”

  He watched the men exchange a knowing glance. “No, we met outside the group,” Jackson finally said, flashing him a grin in the rearview mirror. “We were self-starters, although we had a minor hiccup and missed connection in the beginning.”

  Elvin supposed if they wanted to share the story, they’d volunteer it. “I hope Eliza isn’t disappointed if we don’t hit it off.”

  “No, that’s fine, believe me,” Jackson said. “But you have to start somewhere. Like I told you, you have to fish in the right pond.”

  * * * *

  Meredith’s stomach tightened as Ron drove them to the restaurant. While her new job was the answer to a prayer, it would take her a while to learn the ins and outs of Leo’s business. Right now she felt lost.

  At least the guy was nice, and patient. Knowing he was a Dom—even if he was gay and married—was actually a help because she didn’t feel weird around him. His steady reassurances when she needed to ask questions or just needed a friendly ear to listen made her feel…calmer.

  More settled.

  Not in a romantic way, fortunately. Although she thought Leo’s husband must be a really lucky bastard to have the guy in his bed every night.

  “I hope this isn’t a mistake,” she muttered.

  “Why would it be a mistake?” Ron asked. “Seems like everyone told you this would be the best place to start. Even my friend, Kimbra, said she goes every so often and the people are awesome. And Susie, Darryl, and Grant will meet us there. What could go wrong? Eliza apparently knows her shit when it comes to matchmaking.”

  “Putting myself out there again could go wrong.”

  He smirked. “Hence why little brother is going with you.”

  “Yes, nothing says sexy-with-her-shit-together like hanging off your little brother.”

  “Hey, you have a job, you’re getting everything back on track—go with it, huh?”

  She exhaled. “Fine. I’ll have fun and promise to try not to embarrass you or our friends.”

  “That sounded…confident,” he drawled.

  “What about you? Why aren’t you dating? I could totally toss this back on you. How come you haven’t been coming to munches and stuff?”

  “For starters, I was busy with the Sarasota and Tampa ren fair stuff, and our practices, and work. And I might have had a sister I was kinda worried about. Plus, you and I are probably hitting the Toucan in a couple of weekends,” he said.

  “The what?”

  “It’s a resort up in St. Pete. Caters to gay men.”

  “Ahem.” She pointed at herself. “You forgetting something?”

  “Not exclusively, sheesh. Kimbra’s gone with me a few times as my wingman. It’s fine. You’ll be my reality checker. Get you started talking to someone about sci-fi or something to gauge their geek quotient before I swoop in for the steal.”

  “Gee, why are we single?”

  “Because we’re both chickenshits too easily hung up in our ruts, that’s why.” He firmly nodded. “That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”

  “You should let Eliza put you on her matchmaking list.”

  “I’m not there yet.”

  “Physician, heal thyself.”

  He grinned. “Then it’s a good thing I’m an electrician and not a doctor, huh?”

  Susie had already given Meredith a heads-up that her old friend already had a possible pick for her.

  Not that Meredith was expecting much.

  Or…anything.

  Maybe some nice conversation for the evening, but she certainly wasn’t going to expect someone who’d rock her socks off.

  Besides, she needed to focus on her life right now. Yeah, having a guy would be great, but…

  Maybe she needed this alone time with Ron. She’d missed the hell out of him, and living with him had driven that point home with great force.

  He was her only family, with them both cut off from their parents. And as long as her parents kept Ron cut off, Meredith would keep them cut off.

  They were a little early. After the hostess pointed them back to the private meeting room, Meredith and Ron hovered in the doorway and looked around to see if they recognized anyone.

  “Going to a munch with my brother isn’t creepy at allll,” she muttered.

  He gently elbowed her. “I don’t want you knowing about my sex life, either, so hush.”

  A man walked over, a friendly smile on his face. “First time here?”

  “First time here,” Ron said. “But we’re both…experienced. I’ve been to Venture and have friends who come out all the time. I’ve been meaning to get out and make some of these and always seem to miss them. Kimbra, Grant, Darryl, and Susie will vouch for us.”

  The man extended his hand. “Tony.”

  They shook with him and introduced themselves.

  “How long have you been together?”

  Ron snorted. “All my life. She’s my big sister. I’m just here for moral support.”

  “Like I said,” she muttered. “Not creepy at alllll.”

  * * * *

  Fortunately, Susie, Grant, and Darryl arrived a few minutes later, while Meredith and Ron were still chatting with Tony. The five of them staked out one of the round tables, saving the other five seats for Eliza, Rusty, and the two guys who were apparently bringing her potential match to the munch.

  “I feel like I’m being set up on a blind date,” she softly said to Ron as they were taking their seats.

  “Because you are,
sweetie. Don’t worry—we’re all here.”

  They’d set her up at the end of their group and next to a vacant seat so that the guy could sit next to her.

  At least with Ron on her other side she’d feel less anxious.

  Except he hadn’t even brought an axe with him to dinner.

  “What if the guy’s like a total troll or something?”

  “I don’t think Eliza would do that to you.”

  “You sure about that? She might, since she’s a sadist.”

  “She’s not that kind of sadist. I have been assured that the guy has been thoroughly vetted. Once he’s here and they introduce you, try to focus on enjoying dinner together. If nothing else, I got you out of the house for the night and I’m buying you dinner.”

  She grumbled a little over that but knew arguing was futile. Once Ron set his mind to something, that was it.

  Eliza and Rusty arrived shortly thereafter, and it felt good seeing her old friends again. Eliza gave her a long, gentle hug, holding her. “It’s good to see you,” Eliza whispered. “I promise he’s a nice guy, and no, it won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t hit it off with him.”

  “Thanks.”

  They took seats on the other side of the table, on Darryl’s far side, leaving the three empty seats.

  Eliza checked her phone. “They’ll be here shortly. Noah said they’re a few minutes away.”

  “Not going to tell me more about him, huh?”

  Eliza grinned. “Sorry, privacy. Just like I didn’t tell him a lot about you. Only the bare-bones basics to protect you both. If you hit it off, you two are responsible for exchanging those kinds of deets between you. I did learn he’s not an asshole, and he’s very well-regarded amongst his peers at work. He’s stable and not crazy.”

  “That’s a damn good start.”

  Meredith tried to reel in her nervous stomach, which fluttered every time someone opened the meeting room’s door and stepped inside.

  Then three guys walked in, the man in front looking around. The first two guys weren’t bad looking, both white guys, but the black guy they’d arrived with…

  Holy cow! “Is that the Rock?” Meredith frantically hissed at Eliza.

  She turned, grinned, and held up a hand to wave at them and get their attention. “No,” she told Meredith before standing. “But he is your date.”

  “Holy fuck,” Ron muttered. “That’s not fair. I want one.”

  “Go get your own,” Meredith said, blowing into her hand to check her breath. “This one’s mine. At least for tonight.”

  “Eliza, I think I might need to talk to you later,” Ron said. “I might be in need of your services.”

  * * * *

  Elvin followed Jackson and Noah into the room and spotted Eliza when she stuck her hand up, waving at them.

  Except there weren’t any lone women at the table they were now heading over to.

  Eliza stood to hug them in turn, saving Elvin for last before leading him around the table. “Elvin, this is Meredith, and her brother, Ron.”

  Ah. He stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you.” She was a cutie, too. Red hair, brown eyes.

  Her gaze narrowed as she shook his hand. Not in a bad way, though. “You look really familiar.”

  Heat filled his face. He didn’t want to sound like an asshole. “I get that a lot,” he dodged.

  “No, I don’t mean that you look like the Rock. I think we’ve met before.”

  “Mister Dub?” one of the other two guys at the table said.

  His head snapped around. Several of them, including Meredith and her brother, now sported wide eyes. He didn’t recognize them as parents of students, which meant that…

  Meredith stood, and he realized she was nearly a foot shorter than him. “Holy shit,” she whispered. “You are, aren’t you? I’m Meri Dutton. You taught me and Ron.” She pointed to the guy seated next to her.

  Now he recognized them, vaguely. As Eliza introduced all of them—re-introduced them—he could almost picture all of them as they had been, back in the early days of his teaching career. If he wasn’t mistaken, it was Grant, Darryl, and Susie who’d come up with the Mister Dub moniker his first year teaching, because they’d had another teacher whose name was Wynn, an older white woman who was no relation, and they’d called her Missus Dub.

  Well, shit.

  “This is awkward,” he finally said.

  “Don’t give up too fast there,” Eliza said. “How old are you again?”

  “Forty-nine,” he said.

  Eliza pointed to Meri. “I just turned forty,” Meri said.

  “Well, there you go,” Eliza said. “You guys are only nine years apart. Over twenty years since you last saw each other, right? You’re both consenting adults. As a retired teacher myself, I’m totally cool with it.”

  Jackson stepped in and kept his voice low. “Wynn, as an outside observer and fellow teacher, I’m voting you give it a shot. If she was in her early twenties and you’d only taught her five years ago, yeah, that’d be creepy. This is fine, seriously.”

  “Only if Meri’s okay with it,” Elvin said. “And if you want to say no, I totally understand.”

  She nodded. “I’m good. But…can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “What the hell happened to you? You were…skinny. Now you’re…well, you’re hot!”

  He smiled. “Hell is exactly what I went through, and it’s a long story.”

  Chapter Eight

  Meredith had to admit that Eliza had knocked this one clear out of the park despite the little hiccup of her previous relationship to Wynn. She had to keep fighting the urge to call him Mister Dub, though.

  Force of habit.

  She didn’t want to fetishize him, but…damn, he was hot. No, now that she was seated next to him it was easier to see him as he really was, but there was no denying at a distance he definitely could pass for the movie star. They settled into their seats and Meredith found herself almost too distracted to peruse the menu.

  It was hard to pull her gaze from him.

  The teacher she remembered had been tall and thin, head full of hair and perpetually smiling. The only time he ever lost his smile was when he intensely dove into a lesson, teaching them about whatever book it was they were working on, or the lesson, something he was passionate about.

  “Any children?” she asked.

  “No. Been divorced for a long time.”

  “I’m surprised I’m not having to beat women off you with a stick. So why are you still single?”

  “How long you got?” His sad smile moved something inside her. “I carried the wrong torch for too long. And I haven’t looked like this for too many years, either. Took a lot to rebuild my body.”

  She blanched, thinking about what she’d gone through—what she still wished she could have done, but which was out of reach, for now. “My ex turned out to be a dick,” she said. “When I needed him the most, he checked out. Literally. Thank god for Ron.”

  “Are your parents still alive?”

  “They’re dead to both of us.” She wanly smiled. “Fair warning—my little brother is my hero and my life, and he’s gay. If that’s a problem for you, do us both a favor and tell me now.”

  He shrugged. “Don’t matter to me, long as he’s with consenting adults.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief, but before she could speak, Wynn did. “Let me guess—they weren’t happy when he came out?”

  “Right out of high school, and they threw him out. Disowned him. I was already away at college in St. Louis, but he was able to move in with a friend. Now he’s an electrician, has a great life, and he came to St. Louis not once, but twice, to rescue my ass when I needed him the most.”

  “Is that why you moved back?”

  “I lost my job due to downsizing. Then…a bunch of stuff happened at once. Had to sell my condo, and Ron showed up with a moving truck and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So here I am.” She didn’t want to di
g too deeply into their rough patches tonight.

  What she really wanted to do was give him a lap dance, but that would be frowned upon in a family establishment.

  Instead, she focused on the, ironically, easier conversation to have. “So tell me about your kink interests?”

  * * * *

  “I’m really new to this.” He felt slightly uncomfortable just jumping in like that, but Eliza had warned him to follow his gut, and his gut told him Meri knew more about kink than he did. Also, that she’d been through something big. The cautious way she picked her way through their conversation so far told him that.

  Fair enough, because he felt cautious, too. He still wasn’t convinced this was the world’s greatest idea, no matter how encouraging Jackson and Eliza were.

  “New’s fine.” Her smile tugged at his soul in deep places he hadn’t felt touched by sunlight in too damn long. “I like rope, heavy impact, bondage, discipline—a lot of things.”

  “I saw a couple do a rope scene last Saturday,” he offered. “At Venture. It was beautiful.” He didn’t want to mention the couple’s name, because the rules he’d agreed to when joining the club specifically warned against doing just that.

  “Scrye and June,” Jackson said, apparently paying more attention to their conversation than Elvin realized he’d been. “It’s okay,” he added. “They present classes and demos. As long as it’s something at the club, they don’t mind people talking about their scenes.”

  Eliza chimed in. “If you ever want to talk to Scrye, just let me know. They’re good friends. He’s always happy to help people learn. He likes to teach what he does. And their books are amazing, seriously.”

  Okay, since Eliza was also saying it, it must be okay. “I wouldn’t mind learning how to do…that. Tying.”

  “I know some basics,” Meri said. “I wouldn’t mind showing you. I can’t tie suspension, and it’d be hard for me to teach you while you were suspending me. But it’s definitely fun.”

  He was going to ask her more about it when a guy called the group to order. “Hey, welcome to the Suncoast Society munch. If you’re looking for the computer club, we have no idea where they are.” A ripple of laughter circled the room, so Elvin assumed it must be a familiar joke.