For the Roses Read online

  Now her brown eyes had focused on his. “That’s all you take? You don’t do anything else?”

  “Social drinker, on occasion.”

  “But you have a prescription for it?”

  “I do. I carry the card in my wallet. I also do not drink when I need to use it. I’m overly cautious.”

  “Pain sucks,” she softly said. “Going through that surgery really hurt, and I felt like a weenie for it because I’d always prided myself on being a really heavy masochist.”

  “Then maybe we were meant to meet again for a reason. I’m more about the control than the pain, although being a little bit of a sadist excites me.”

  * * * *

  With her admissions out on the table, Meredith felt most of the weight lift from her shoulders, even if she still felt filled with doubt. “I would like to play with you, but I have a condition first.”

  “Okay.”

  “This is going to sound weird.”

  “I teach for a living. Try me.”

  “I’d rather date for a few weeks before we play.”

  He nodded. “That’s more than fair.”

  “And sleep together before we play. If we get to that point.”

  “Um, okay. But can I ask why?”

  “It’s what I need to do for me right now. We can still go to the club and watch. And before you ask, no, this isn’t so much about you as it is about me.”

  He tipped his head to the side and studied her for a long moment. “Is there something you’re holding back?”

  She didn’t want to box him in by telling him she assumed he’d be repelled by her physical appearance, with him assuring her no, he wouldn’t…just for him to have to retract that statement later.

  In her head, she almost heard Ron yelling at her for this. “A lot of your self-doubts happened especially before your accident, right? After your ex left you?”

  He slowly nodded. “Won’t say I’m completely shed of them, but yeah.”

  “Most of mine have been since I lost my job. I need a lower level of trust for sex than I do for play. I need to return to this slowly. Especially after the way my ex left me.”

  “That’s fair.”

  They finished their meal and before Meredith could ask for a split check, he took it and laid a credit card in the payment folder, handing it back to the waitress.

  He offered Meredith a smile. “My treat.” He leaned forward, his expression growing serious again. “Are we really good?”

  “We are.” She wanted this to work out. “When can we get together again?”

  “You said you’re busy on Tuesday and Wednesday.”

  “Well…I am. But you could come with on Wednesday, if you want.”

  “Maybe. What’s going on?”

  She smiled. “How do you feel about mead? I’ll warn you, there is a correct answer.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Ron met her at the front door with two mugs of mead in hand, handing her one. “Well?”

  She smiled and raised hers. “Skål!”

  He grinned and gently clinked mugs with her. “Skål!”

  Once they were in the living room and seated on the couch, she gave him deets.

  He faked what she assumed was supposed to be a Viking-ish accent. “So I get to tip a horn with him on Wednesday, eh? Very sneaky, shield maiden. Letting brother get to know him by liquoring me up in the process. You know the way straight to my heathen heart, don’t you?”

  “I’m not exactly an amateur.” He’d only poured them half mugs, so it wasn’t like she was a boozehound.

  She hoped.

  “Mead is forever!” He clinked mugs with her again.

  “Mead is forever.” She sipped. “And, apparently, so is anxiety and self-doubt.”

  He dropped the accent. “Come on. Spill it.”

  She did, the whole thing, including Wynn’s story of what he went through, not just with his divorce, but his accident, too.

  “Wow,” Ron said, dropping the act. “Sounds like he’s been through the wringer.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I guess that’s smart of you to start slow like that. I can see why you’d want to know how he’ll react.” He reached out and gently poked her in the shoulder. “Just don’t push him away for no good reason, stubborn. I know you’ve been burned before, in a bigger way than most. It doesn’t mean he’s going to burn you, too.” He smirked. “So why mead night?”

  She shrugged. “I had fun. I want to keep going with you and your friends. I need new friends, and not just kinky ones. I miss having a vanilla social life. I need to see if he’s going to fit in and accept all of me.”

  “What about him and his life?”

  “That’s up to him to invite me in. I hope he does. I’m not going to wrap my life around him, and I don’t expect him to wrap his around me. Not right now. Not without us getting to know each other first.”

  “I can’t fault you there, sis. But you’re wanting me to see if I spot any red flags, aren’t you?”

  “Duh.”

  * * * *

  Jackson intercepted Elvin in the hall the next morning and fell into step with him. “Well?”

  “Well?”

  “Last night. Your date. How’d it go?”

  “It went fine.”

  “Only fine?”

  “We’re just starting to get to know each other. We’re taking things slow. We are going out on Wednesday evening. I’m going with her and her brother to some sort of Viking thing he does.”

  Jackson frowned. “Viking thing?”

  “Literal Vikings. Re-enactors. They’re meeting at a growler bar for mead night.”

  “Oh. You want backup?”

  “I think I can handle it, but thanks.” They’d reached Elvin’s room and he turned. “I don’t have any salacious deets to share with you. Even if I did, I wouldn’t.”

  “I just wanted to see how everything went. And if you feel you need a wingman—men—we’re happy to show up for backup.”

  “I’m an adult, but thanks for the offer.”

  It touched him his friend wanted to help, but…

  Yeah. He needed to sink or swim on his own, and there was already enough nervous energy rumbling through him without Jackson adding to it. Even his workout this morning—a light one—hadn’t helped where it usually left him feeling calm and centered.

  He sent Meri a text later that afternoon, after he’d returned home from work. He was a little surprised when his phone rang seconds later. “Hey, you,” he answered. “I thought you were busy today?”

  “I am. I just got home. I’m hopping in the shower and then heading to Susie’s for D&D.”

  “Vikings and D&D. I’m sensing a theme.”

  “The Vikings are more Ron’s thing than mine. I’m going for the people part of it.”

  “Well, have fun tonight. I hope you kill the monsters, or loot the dungeon, or whatever it is you do.”

  Her laugh made him smile. “Thanks. And I did have a good time last night. I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.”

  “Me, too.”

  He was. First time he seriously felt hopeful in a long while. She had her issues, he had his issues. They could maybe understand each other a little better, considering what they’d both survived.

  “Want me to text you when I get home?”

  “If you want to. I’ll be up until eleven, probably.”

  “Okay. Talk to you later, Wynn.”

  “You know…” He thought about it. “Call me Elvin, please.”

  “I thought you said everyone usually calls you Wynn?”

  “They…do. Most everyone. But I’d like it if you called me Elvin.”

  “Sure, but why?”

  He thought about the sound of her voice that final day when she’d dropped the bomb on him. “Keisha called me Wynn and there’s still some baggage there, I guess. Now I only let people I’m really close to call me Elvin. I think I’d rather you call me that.”

  He could hear th
e smile in her voice. “No Mister Dub, huh?”

  He laughed. “No. Please, no.”

  “All right, Elvin. Thank you. I’ll text you later.”

  “Thanks, sweetie. Have fun.”

  “Thanks.”

  When he ended the call he thought about last night. The vulnerability in her expression as she talked about her cancer.

  About how her ex broke up with her.

  I’m gonna take my time, as slow as we need to.

  Not just for her sake, but for his own.

  * * * *

  On Wednesday, Meri and Ron picked him up on their way to the growler bar. Ron insisted Elvin take the front seat, and Ron was…

  “What is that you’re wearing?”

  He grinned. “I’m a Viking.” He sure was, from tunic to shoes.

  “Is that a sword back there?”

  “Yes, it is,” Meri said. “Believe me, he’s actually dressed on the mild end of things tonight.”

  “Okay, then.” He took the front seat while Ron slid into the back. Meri leaned in for a quick kiss, which basically sent every last thought he’d had out of his skull. “Thanks for driving tonight,” he managed.

  “Thanks for coming along and putting up with my crazy brother.”

  “I am part of the deal,” Ron admitted. “Hope that’s okay.”

  Elvin chuckled. “It’s fine, man. It’s fine.”

  When they arrived, Meri slipped her hand into his for the walk inside, he was happy to note. After being introduced to the other—yes, Vikings—Elvin perused their menu. “What do you recommend?”

  “The mead,” Ron said.

  “Mead is forever!” one of the guys called out, answered by everyone responding, “Mead is forever!”

  “Guess I’ll try the mead then,” Elvin said with a smile.

  Once again it was another night, another event where he was the only black person in the place. At least he felt welcomed by Ron’s friends, who were trying to talk him into coming out and doing combat with them.

  By his third glass of mead, he was tempted to say yes, until he thought more about the reality. “I’m sorry, but y’all would literally kick my ass. I was in a bad accident a few years back. Just mowing the grass last weekend nearly did me in.”

  He wasn’t sure how Meri would react to that admission, but fuck it. He felt good tonight, he was laughing and enjoying himself, and Ron had apparently adopted him even if Elvin wasn’t drinking out of a horn.

  Meri looked amused as they made their way down to the pizza restaurant. “You and Ron are really hitting it off, huh?”

  Elvin smiled. “Mead is forever!”

  A chorus of, “Mead is forever!” sounded off around them.

  Ron slung an arm around Elvin’s shoulders. “Did I tell you I have an axe?”

  “A few times, yeah.”

  “Don’t worry. If you ever need backup, call me.” Ron looked around him, at Meri. “I like him. He’s not scared of me.”

  “Peter wasn’t scared of you.”

  “And he should’ve been. Rat bastard.”

  She rolled her eyes but looked adorable doing it.

  “I promise I’ll do my best to not get Ron pissed off at me,” Elvin told her.

  She rose up on her toes and kissed him. “Thank you. I’d rather not have to referee a fight between you two.”

  * * * *

  Ron was sloshed. If Elvin was, he wasn’t showing it much. Maybe smiling a little wider and more freely than he had before, but that was about all.

  Meredith had a lot of fun tonight. Elvin had entered a discussion with one of the Viking women about Beowulf that had quickly bored the pants right off Meredith, but she didn’t mind, because it was fun listening to him, the passion he held about the topic. Then he got into an exchange with Ron and a couple of the other guys, exchanging Monty Python lines, and was discussing hip-hop music with yet another.

  He was…normal. Had interests outside of kink.

  It seemed like, in retrospect, the only thing she and Peter had in common was kink, and even when out with friends, they were usually kinky friends, not vanilla ones.

  “I’m dropping you off first, Ron,” she said once they’d finished dinner and were on their way back.

  “Why?”

  “You’re an idiot, bro.”

  “Oh.” He giggled from the backseat. “Sorry. Carry on.”

  Once he was out of the car and they were heading for Elvin’s, she said it. “Thank you for coming tonight. I had a great time. I hope you did, too.”

  “I did.”

  She reached over for his hand and pulled it onto her thigh. “Good. Hope Ron doesn’t scare you off.”

  “I can tell he really loves you.”

  “We’re the only family we really have with our parents out of the picture.”

  “I know that feeling.”

  “I wanted to get you alone to talk.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Good talking, not bad talking.”

  “Okay.”

  “I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you coming out tonight. And how much I appreciate you being patient with me. Peter really did a number on me. I need…normal. More than you can possibly imagine.”

  He turned his hand over and laced fingers with her. “I’m happy to take this at your speed.”

  “Are you busy Saturday night? I thought we could meet everyone at Sigalo’s for dinner and then go to the club. Just to watch and talk.”

  “I’m down. Did you want me to pick you up, or would you feel more comfortable driving yourself?”

  “If you wouldn’t mind picking me up, that’d be nice.”

  “Are we taking Ron with us?”

  She could tell from his tone he wasn’t irritated about that. “Only if he insists on coming. I’ll…dissuade him.”

  “Don’t upset him. I don’t mind if he wants to tag along.”

  “No, I won’t. But I want to spend time alone with you. We need that.”

  “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

  * * * *

  An easy quiet descended, just the radio playing in the background. Elvin waited for her to speak.

  “I haven’t been with anyone…since,” she admitted.

  “Since your surgery?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Even more reason to take this slow. I’m okay with that, as long as you talk to me and tell me what you’re thinking. I’ve been hurt, you’ve been hurt. What’s that they say about how hurt people hurt people? I don’t want us to hurt each other because of stuff others did to us.”

  She nodded, her gaze focused on the road ahead, her features softly lit by the dashboard lights. “It hurt, all right,” she said.

  “I know we’re not moving into BDSM yet, and that’s fine. For now, I want you to set the pace. Once you feel comfortable with me, though, I’m going to want to take charge. That’s what I want to happen eventually. I need you to trust me by then, though. I’m not into forcing anyone to do anything. And if I don’t think you’re ready for that, I won’t let us take that next step. Okay?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  His cock twitched at that, how right it sounded rolling from her lips. “I don’t even mind that,” he said. “But it’s not a requirement right now. My only requirement is honesty and communication. And that we’re monogamous.”

  “I would suck at poly,” she finally said, a smile breaking through.

  “See? We already have something in common.”

  “Yeah.”

  When they reached his place, she pulled in behind his car and shifted it into park. He waited until she turned to face him to reach up and cup her cheek. “I like how this feels so far.” He brushed his thumb across her flesh. “I meant it—I had fun tonight.”

  She laid her hand over his. “Me, too.”

  He let her lean in for the kiss before meeting her halfway. His hand slipped around the back of her head, gently cupping, not forcing her to remain in place
but allowing him to linger and savor it.

  Now his cock was really throbbing in his slacks.

  She let him decide when to end it, and he stared down into her sweet brown eyes. “What time do you want me to pick you up on Saturday?”

  “Six is fine.”

  “I’ll see you then. Please text me when you get home, so I know you made it okay.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He smiled and kissed her again. “Careful how often you say that. I really like the sound of it.”

  “Maybe I like saying it.”

  He waited to go inside until she’d pulled out of his driveway and rolled down the street. He unlocked the door and headed inside, already anticipating Saturday night.

  All I need is patience and time with her.

  Chapter Twelve

  Over the next two weeks, they didn’t see each other every night, but they did at least talk to each other on the phone. This Saturday night, they were having dinner at Elvin’s—he wanted to cook for her—with the understanding that she wanted to spend the whole night with him.

  Meredith felt nervous, but in a good way. Tonight, whatever happened would happen. After two weeks of talking and going out together, she wanted more.

  Way more.

  Especially since she was starting to go through batteries for her vibrator at an alarming rate. They hadn’t done anything more than kiss yet, but all he had to do was smile at her and whisper her name and her panties were soaked.

  No way in hell was playing going to happen unless she knew he was good in bed—which she had a feeling he probably would be. Maybe that would seem backward to some people, but he was willing to learn what he needed to do to be a good Top. That meant he was teachable.

  But if he sucked in the sack…

  Or, worse, if he had a bad reaction to what she looked like…

  Well, it’d be easier to find that out now, rather than fall more head-over-ass in love with the guy because he was a really good Top.

  If she had to, she could always talk to Eliza about Topping her, or finding her a Top.