Heartache Spoken Here Read online

  “Yeah, it’s good. Fortunately, I pay for her cell phone, and it has a tracker on it. She knows that. So if I text her and she doesn’t respond pretty fast, I’ll be tracking where the phone is. She’s smart enough not to pull any nonsense, like inviting kids over. Meanwhile, she’s enjoying not sharing a house with her step-father or step-brother.”

  “I hope I get to meet her.”

  “You will, eventually, if things keep working out between us. Both of you will. You’ll have to. I’m going to call Jeff real fast and say goodnight so I can go to sleep. See you tomorrow.”

  “Yes, Sir. See you tomorrow.”

  Stuart ended the call, fighting the urge to tack an I love you to the end of that.

  He’d had to fight that urge with Jeff earlier, too.

  It was too damn soon, and he knew it.

  Except…life was short. Just because he risked heartache didn’t mean he shouldn’t try.

  And he damn sure wanted to try.

  Chapter Eleven

  Over the next week, Brandon was able to grab time here and there with each man, and a few times with both of them. One evening he was able to meet them over at Jeff’s house, where Jeff had cooked dinner for both Brandon and Stuart.

  “So, we have a question for you,” Jeff started.

  “Okay?”

  The men exchanged a glance. Jeff pointed at Stuart, who finally spoke. “Would you mind if I rented a room from Jeff? I’ve been looking around, and anything that I can easily afford is in a really crappy area.”

  “Why would I mind?”

  “Because we wanted to make sure it was okay.”

  “I’m confused.”

  Jeff took over. “Protocol.”

  “Ah. That’s sweet, but I can’t claim that kind of control over you yet, buddy. I told you that. We need to know each other longer before I ask that from you.”

  “I wanted to make sure.”

  Brandon dove in, head first. “Are you two going to sleep together?”

  “No,” Jeff said. “We talked about that. If we’re going to do this as a triad, we’re dedicated to trying it as a triad. We’ll wait until you say it’s okay, and our first time is all together.”

  Wow.

  He pulled Stuart in for a hug and a long, sweet kiss. “If you mean it, that you’ll just be roommates for now, then of course I’m fine with it.”

  Stuart smiled. “Thank you, Sir. I appreciate that.”

  He kissed Jeff. “You going to be able to keep your hands off him that long?”

  Jeff smiled. “Please don’t order me not to masturbate yet, Sir.”

  “Ooh, there’s some fun long-distance sadism I can do. Make you sit and watch each other beat off while I’m watching on FaceTime.”

  “Won’t that be torturing yourself at the same time?” Jeff asked.

  “Yeah, but totes worth it, as Emma would say.”

  * * * *

  Stuart moved in with Jeff, and Brandon had fun FaceTiming with them at night when he couldn’t see them in person. They’d known each other almost three weeks now, and so far, Brandon couldn’t see a problem with this arrangement, unusual though it might be.

  The only drawback would be eventually explaining it to Emma, once he decided to do that.

  And since she wasn’t a little kid, he wasn’t going to make up silly lies to smooth things over.

  Didn’t mean he was eager to talk about relationship dynamics with his daughter.

  The three of them had been out on several dates now, and they’d dated each other one-on-one. They’d all gotten their test results back, and Brandon was ready to move this into a physical relationship with both of them. He suspected the other two men were, as well.

  The only thing Brandon wanted to be especially careful of was Stuart, since he’d never been with a guy before. Brandon wanted their first night together to be all three of them, and preferably a night where he wouldn’t have to rush or hurry home after.

  Even if they didn’t last, he wanted Stuart to have that good memory, if nothing else.

  He admitted to Emma that he was dating, but didn’t tell her all the details.

  Like that he was dating two guys.

  Brandon opted to introduce her to Jeff first, then Stuart. Mostly because it was obvious from how the three of them naturally seemed to fit together that Jeff would be the Alpha subby, and Stuart the beta.

  If he was going to live this, he was going to live it as much as possible without exposing his lifestyle to vanillas. That meant affording Jeff little considerations, per his position.

  He would have special things for Stuart, too, but this was a hierarchal thing. And he expected the men to have their own little things between them, as well. With his job and Emma, Brandon couldn’t be there for them twenty-four-seven. Having them able to rely on each other was a good thing and a healthy way for their relationship to grow stronger.

  Sushi would probably be the safest dinner choice, because Emma loved sushi. Now that she was living with him full-time, they were mostly eating at home, truncated kitchen notwithstanding.

  Emma was proving wicked good with an electric skillet and a slow cooker, able to compensate for a lack of prep area.

  He had to admit, it was nice having her home most of the time. He tried to help her prepare dinner every night, and he’d declared dinners device-free zones where they actually talked, mostly about her day at school.

  He decided to wait until the night before to tell her, while they were eating dinner at home.

  “Tomorrow night, we’re going out to dinner. Sushi. With a friend of mine.”

  Emma gave him the same look he was sure he’d given Jeff and Stuart—and others—plenty of times in the past. Arched eyebrow, chin tipped down.

  “‘Friend’ as in just a guy you know, or ‘friend’ as in boyfriend you’re finally going to introduce me to?” She took a bite of her green beans.

  Yep. He was in sooo much trouble when she got older. “Boyfriend.”

  She smiled and reached over to poke his arm. “Yay. About time, Dad.”

  “Any questions you want to ask that might embarrass me, ask me now, please?”

  “Why’d it take you so long to introduce me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve been dating him for a few weeks at least, right?”

  “How did you know that?”

  “I didn’t, until you just confirmed it.” She grinned. “I guessed. I know you, Dad. You’re cautious. And you’ve been going out more lately than you used to, unless you were only going out on nights I wasn’t home. But I’m older now. So maybe with the change in living situation you’re doing things differently.”

  “You really should consider being a criminal profiler, honey.”

  “I’m thinking about it. Still want to get my degree in criminal justice.”

  “You’d be good at it.” He studied her. “So we’re good for tomorrow night?”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Jeff.”

  “Where’d you meet him?”

  “Through mutual friends. Had dinner together one night and been seeing each other ever since.”

  Technically not a lie…

  It just wasn’t the entire truth.

  “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” She grinned. “I won’t even eat any red Jell-O.”

  “Thank god.”

  * * * *

  Jeff tried not to be nervous, but he couldn’t help it. This was Brandon’s daughter.

  If she hated him, he suspected that would be the end of things between them.

  When he parked in front of the sushi restaurant, he didn’t see Brandon’s car. Nervous, he texted Stuart.

  They’re not here yet.

  You’ll be fine. She’ll like you. I’m the one worried she won’t like me. You’re older.

  Stuart had mentioned that worry to Jeff more than once. He was still trying to come up with a good reply when he spotted Brandon’s car.

  If
she likes me, she’ll love you. They just got here. I’ll TTYL.

  He got out and headed over to the door to wait for them. Emma had Brandon’s hair color and eyes, and as she walked beside her father, he felt her studying him.

  It surprised Jeff when Brandon leaned in to kiss him hello and took his hand. “Emma, this is my friend, Jeff. Jeff, this is Emma.”

  She smiled and shook hands with him. “I promised Dad no evil kid act tonight.”

  Brandon groaned. “Not doing the evil kid act also involves not telling someone you’re not going to be evil.”

  She poked her father in the arm. “Relax. I promise I won’t puke on him.”

  Then she grinned at Jeff.

  “If you run now,” Brandon said, “I won’t blame you. I swear.”

  But Jeff had seen the playfulness in her grin. She was just teasing her dad, not trying to get under Jeff’s skin. “Can’t scare me that easily. I have a little sister. Been there, done that, got the psychological scars from it.”

  They were seated in a booth, and while Emma had indicated she was okay if her dad wanted to sit next to Jeff, Brandon took a seat in the same side as her.

  Under the table, Brandon’s foot reached out and nudged Jeff’s. When Jeff looked at him, Brandon winked.

  He tried to relax and not put on an act and just be himself. If Brandon had been attracted to him the way he was, hopefully it was good enough for Brandon’s daughter.

  She was a pistol, though. Brandon hadn’t been a bragging dad when he talked about her intelligence. It surprised him when she started asking him knowledgeable questions about his Edsel.

  Even Brandon looked…curious.

  “Hang on,” Brandon said. “When did you learn so much about cars?”

  “Pat’s piece of shi-crap car. He was having trouble with it last year.” She smiled. “Electronic problem. He couldn’t afford to take it to a mechanic, so I researched it on the Internet and figured out what was wrong with it. The check engine light was on, and it would run, but it was running like crap. I had Mom drive me to the auto parts store and we bought a cheap code reader. I pulled the code and looked it up, we bought the part, and I fixed the stupid thing in about twenty minutes. All it needed was a new MAF sensor. Had it running by the time he got home from work. Cost less than one hundred dollars total, including the code reader.”

  Brandon looked…stunned. “Why didn’t you tell me about that?”

  She cocked her head at him. “Duh. Mom asked me not to because she was embarrassed about being broke. And honestly, I’d forgotten about it until now. It was worth it to have that over Pat’s stupid head, though, that I was smarter than him like that.” She grinned.

  * * * *

  Okay, so there was another item they’d have to talk about once he and Emma were alone again. Since Emma was now living full-time with him, Ed had filed a motion to discontinue the child support.

  He’d told Ed to tell Tracey that he wouldn’t pursue regular support payments from her as long as she chipped in for things like school clothes.

  He’d hoped it would be another incentive for Tracey to not try to fight him in court.

  But if they were really hurting that much for money, why would they waste money on a stupid weekend boat trip?

  Fortunately, dinner seemed to go well. Brandon could tell from the way Emma acted that she seemed to like Jeff. Practically no snark of the bad kind, she actually talked to him, and he had her laughing a few times.

  When it was time to leave, she even leaned in for a quick hug from Jeff before heading on to the car to give them a moment alone after Brandon handed her the keys.

  “Well?” Jeff nervously asked.

  “I think she likes you. I’ll text you later.” He kissed him, lingering but forcing himself to finally lean back. “Give Stuart a kiss for me when you get home.”

  Jeff smiled. “You bet I will…Sir.”

  Brandon struggled to keep his willful cock under control. Definitely not the time or place for that.

  Brandon headed for his car to find Emma grinning at him.

  “Well?”

  “I really like him, Dad. Heck of a lot better than I like Pat.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  He buckled his seat belt. “Thanks. I really like him, too.” He got them headed toward home. “So how many other instances are there of stuff you ‘forgot’ to tell me.”

  “Dad, there’s lots of little stuff. Most of it having to do with Mom being embarrassed about something Pat did or didn’t do, or something he said. The guy’s a jackass, and if you want to punish me for saying that, fine, I’ll take it. But it’s the truth. He’s always bragging about the Goober, but I’m nobody.”

  Brandon knew he needed to keep his cool, that ranting about the guy—or Tracey—wouldn’t be a smart long-game. Not to mention, Emma needed him to be stable, reliable.

  “Some guys are intimidated by smart women.”

  “That’s why he’s flipping burgers for a living.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with what he does for a living.”

  “Uh, yeah, Dad, there is. He’s an idiot, and he’s flat-out lazy. He’s not even a manager, he’s an assistant manager, and has been for years. He’s not smart enough to do anything else long-term, and he doesn’t have the ambition to try to work his way up to manager.”

  Brandon didn’t have a good response that wasn’t an outright lie, so he remained quiet for a moment. “You should call your mom and talk to her. Try to work things out.”

  “She picked Pat over me.” Emma stared out the window. “I heard him talking to his parents in the hallway outside the room on the boat. Apparently he was trying to look good for his parents to get money from them with the excuse it was for me for my college education. He freaking told them there was no way I’d get a college scholarship. That my grades are crappy and they want to get me tutoring.”

  She turned back to him. “Seriously. That’s the best thing he could come up with.” Her voice softened. “They’re hurting for money. Mom could do way better than him.” She shook her head. “I’m honestly hoping them losing the child support from me finally makes her divorce him, or makes him leave. Something. Anything. She let him throw me under the bus with a bunch of lies to try to get money from his parents.”

  Brandon struggled not to get too deep into this. He felt guilty, to a certain extent. He had left Tracey and broken her heart, but it had been Tracey’s decision to then get into a bad marriage with a guy definitely beneath her.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  “Well, when I get through college, if she’s still married to him, I’ll tell her I’ll pay for her divorce if she’ll leave him.”

  He admired her determination even though he knew darn well that wasn’t how human nature usually worked. “She has to make decisions for herself.”

  “I know. But sometimes I wonder if she’s the parent or the child.”

  Chapter Twelve

  At least Emma liked Jeff. That gave Brandon hope that she might also like Stuart.

  The next night, Brandon bought dinner for Stuart. Stuart had picked Brandon up at the house, because Emma had been at Grace’s, studying for a test, and Grace’s mom would drive her home. While Brandon and Stuart were finishing their dinner, Emma texted Brandon that she was home, meaning they needed to bring their evening to a close.

  “I really had fun tonight, Sir,” Stuart said as he drove Brandon home.

  Brandon reached over and laid a hand on Stuart’s thigh. “So did I, boy.”

  “I missed Jeff, though.”

  He patted Stuart’s thigh. “So did I.”

  They rode in comfortable silence for a moment. “Were you serious about maybe marrying one of us, if things get that far?”

  “Yes. I know Ed has done some legal wrangling for other poly groups that’s nearly as good as marriage. We get to that point, we can figure something out. Why?”

  “I’m still trying to figure out how to
break it to my family. I mean, not just that I’m gay. That we’re poly. If we work out long-term. Which I hope we will. God, now I’m babbling. Please stop me babbling.”

  Brandon smiled and patted Stuart’s thigh again. “Well, like I said, I don’t want to be a dirty secret. I’m not going to hide you guys from Emma, and I expect the same respect from you. And I don’t mean we parade around naked in front of people, of course. But if you have to lie to them about me, that’s a problem we need to address now. Next week, you’ll meet me and Emma for dinner so I can introduce you to her the way I did Jeff. Still working on how to explain it to her.”

  Brandon studied the younger man as Stuart drove. “I’m…scared. Of my family. Which I know is stupid, because what are they going to do, disown me? They live in Iowa. They’ve always lived in Iowa. They think life is good enough for them, and maybe it is good enough for them, but that wasn’t good enough for me.”

  Stuart made an aggravated noise. “And it bugs me that I feel like this about them. Like they have control over me when I’m a damn adult living, what, over a thousand miles away?”

  “I’m not saying we have to go back there for Christmas or anything, but I’ll be happy to hold your hand while you talk to them on the phone. We both will. We won’t leave you alone.”

  At a light, Stuart met his gaze. “I guess I sound pretty stupid, huh? I mean, I know you had to come out to Tracey and divorce her.”

  “I don’t think you sound stupid. I think you sound intimidated.”

  “That’s one word for it.” When the light turned green, they continued. It took Stuart another long moment to speak again. “I am legit scared of my oldest brother, though. Jake. He’s…” He shrugged. “He was a bully to me and my brother growing up, a bully in high school, and he’s a bully now. And he’s raising two bullies. I feel sorry for his wife, Shelly. I knew I could never be out living in Iowa anywhere near him. He would have come after me if he’d heard of me dating a guy. Or worse, he would have gone after the guy.”