The Reluctant Dom Read online

  Kaden drew Seth back to the den and closed the door. “Let her do it. It distracts her. We’ll have whip practice after dinner.”

  “Basic Carpentry in the afternoon, and Sadomasochism 101 in the evening. Terrific.”

  “You can’t tell me she wasn’t damn sexy the other night.”

  “What do you want to hear me say, man? ‘Hell yeah, I’ll do your wife.’”

  Kaden grinned. “That’s a start.”

  Seth shook his head. “Fucking whacked. Jesus H. Christ, you’re fucking bonkers.”

  * * * *

  They met on the lanai after dinner. Kaden had set up an archery target with some balloons taped to it. On the outside table lay several whips of various lengths and styles. Leah was dressed in jeans and an oversized heavy denim shirt Seth suspected was Kaden’s. Kaden took a few minutes to explain some of the basics and differences of the various whips to Seth. When he finished he said, “I don’t expect you to remember all that now, but do you have any questions?”

  “Dude, why is she dressed like that?”

  “Because I don’t like hurting myself with the whip,” Leah said.

  Seth scrunched his eyes shut. “You’re confusing me again. I thought that was the whole freaking point.”

  Kaden smiled. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. “Explain it, honey.”

  “I’m not a pain slut. Depending on what’s happening, I don’t want to feel it anywhere but on my ass and thighs, and preferably only when in subspace. Trust me, getting nailed in the boob with a singletail would be like you getting nailed in the nuts with it.”

  He winced. “Ouch.”

  “Right.”

  She handed him a pair of protective goggles. Kaden was now wearing his glasses, Seth noticed.

  “Why weren’t you wearing them the other night?”

  “I always wear eye gear for training.” Leah also put on a pair. “You first, sweetheart,” Kaden said.

  “The family that flays together, stays together,” Seth snarked, making his friends laugh.

  She picked up one of the whips and expertly uncoiled it, flexing her shoulders and neck much the same way Kaden had.

  Kaden pulled Seth back a few steps. She looked around as if judging her clearance. When she was satisfied, she sent the end of the whip at the target and took out one of the balloons on the first try.

  “Shit!” Seth exclaimed.

  Kaden proudly grinned. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

  She proceeded to hit every balloon without missing. When she finished, she coiled the whip and smiled at the men. “Nothing to it.”

  “Bullshit,” Seth said. “I’ll end up taking off my own goddamned nose.”

  “Hopefully not. Maybe just an ear.”

  Leah was usually a bit of a gentle, playful ballbuster with him. It was nice to finally see that side of her personality again. If nothing else, Seth was willing to work with them to keep her pulled out of her emotional cesspool. She reset the target with more balloons while Kaden showed Seth the mechanics of throwing the whip. He then proceeded to take out all the targets without missing a single time.

  Leah reset while Kaden practiced with Seth at the far end of the lanai. It didn’t feel smooth and fluid the way both his friends had thrown it. In his hands it felt like a lethal weapon, able to kill without warning, and he felt terrified of it.

  “You need to relax into it. If you’re stiff you won’t throw it right. Worse, you’ll hurt yourself.”

  “Fuck, I’m going to hurt myself anyway.”

  Leah finished resetting the target and walked over to stand behind Seth. She wrapped her arms around him, gripped his hand, and showed him the movement without him holding the whip. He tried to focus on her words and not the feel of her body pressed against his. After a few minutes, she handed him the whip and slowly repeated it.

  “Don’t worry about force. Worry about accuracy at first. Force will come after you’re accurate.” Then she stepped back with Kaden, out of the way. “Go ahead.”

  Seth nervously stared at the target, did a few test flips with the whip to get a feel for it, and threw.

  He missed the target, and on the return he threw up his arms and screamed as the end nearly wrapped around him.

  Leah and Kaden both laughed. “See why we wear safety goggles for this?”

  Seth glared at her but let her step in and tell him what he did wrong and work with him again for a minute. He tried again solo. That time it felt more controlled even though he didn’t come close to hitting the target.

  After twenty minutes he felt like his arm was going to fall off.

  He handed the whip to Leah. “Can I take a break?”

  “Not as easy as it looks, is it?”

  “No. I’m going to be fucking sore tomorrow.”

  “Get used to it,” Kaden said. “It takes a lot of practice. Lots of blisters, too. We need to get you some gloves.” He picked up another whip and took out the balloons on the target. Seth had managed to strike the target a total of three times but never hit one of the balloons. With each hit, the whip cracked.

  “Show-off.”

  “Think he’s had enough for tonight, honey?” Kaden asked Leah.

  As crazy as this was, Seth felt almost like his friends were back, before the news—

  kaden’sdying

  —drop-kicked his world on its ear.

  Leah smiled. “I think he’s had enough for his first lesson.”

  In addition to a sore arm, he’d worked up a hell of a sweat. Maybe a swim would do him good. He helped Kaden return the target to the storage shed and changed clothes. When he returned to the lanai they were gone, probably in their bedroom. Seth turned on the pool light and slowly lapped the pool.

  He didn’t bother counting, just took his time, his mind spinning. He rested for a few minutes at the shallow end, his eyes closed, head on his arms.

  “How’s the arm?” Leah’s voice startled him.

  “Jesus, hon, don’t do that.”

  She sat near the steps, back in her T-shirt, feet in the water.

  “Sorry.”

  He flexed his arm. “Going to hurt like a sonofabitch in the morning.”

  “Why don’t you let me fire up the hot tub? You can soak and I’ll rub it out for you.”

  Danger, Will Robinson!

  “That’s okay. I’ll take a couple of Tylenol.”

  “Don’t be silly. I’ve given you neck rubs before.”

  “Yeah but that was…”

  Before.

  His entire life would now be comprised of a series of benchmarks he’d rather not consider. Before and After Kaden told him he was dying.

  Then Before and After Kaden died.

  “Please?” She looked sad, nearly desperate.

  He finally nodded. “You stay out of the hot tub though.”

  She smiled. “You don’t trust me?”

  “Oh, I trust you all right, to get my ass to a point where I can’t back out.” He dropped his voice. “I’m serious, Leah. I’m not ready to jump into this with both feet yet. I need more time to ease into this. I’ll get there, but you gotta let me dip my toe in and get used to the water.” God, that sounded lame.

  “I’ll go get it ready.” She pulled the cover off and turned on the jets. She walked inside the house for a moment, and he quickly got out of the pool and transferred to the hot tub.

  He sank into it, the perfect temperature for the warm night after the cool swim. Leah returned a moment later with a glass of water and two Tylenol. “Here.”

  “Thanks.”

  He relaxed as she sat on the edge of the hot tub and worked over his neck, arm, and shoulder, her skilled fingers knowing exactly how to soothe his muscles.

  “God, that’s good, babe.”

  “It’s supposed to be.”

  “I guess you do this a lot, huh?”

  She shrugged. “It won’t hurt so bad tomorrow morning. If you’ll not be stubborn, let me work on it for you when you get up.
”

  “We’ll see.”

  That was apparently good enough for her. He closed his eyes and let her massage his sore muscles. He didn’t know how long she sat there with him when she gently patted his shoulder. “How’s that?”

  He’d nearly fallen asleep. “Real good,” he mumbled.

  She left her hand resting on his shoulder for a moment. Then he felt her place a tender, lingering kiss on the top of his head. “Thank you.”

  He reached up and patted her hand. “Why don’t you go on to bed? I’ll be fine. I’ll turn the hot tub off when I get out.”

  He finally heard her leave. He didn’t open his eyes until the sliders to their bedroom opened and shut. He didn’t want to watch her walk into that room.

  I’m such a fucking dumbass. How the hell did I let myself get talked into this?

  He already knew the answer to that one.

  Chapter Seven

  Seth groaned when he rolled over. His arm and shoulder felt nearly dead. Between assembling and moving the shelving units, then the whip practice, he was in serious. Fucking. Pain.

  It was nearly eight o’clock. Fortunately he hurt too bad to wake up horny. He suspected he couldn’t have done anything about it anyway, unless he managed it southpaw.

  He didn’t bother closing the bathroom door all the way. Sure enough, Leah showed up a few minutes after he climbed under the hot spray.

  “Is it safe?”

  “You’d better have Tylenol with that coffee.”

  “I do.”

  When he realized she’d left, he stuck his head out of the shower. Yes, there were two capsules lying on the counter next to his mug.

  Day-amn.

  When he finished he heard her outside the bathroom again. “Is it safe?”

  He wrapped a towel around his hips. “I guess.”

  She pushed the door all the way open. “Go lay down. Let me work on your shoulder.”

  He wasn’t going to argue. She’d left the bedroom door open, which actually made him feel better.

  Less like they were doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Which was stupid, because they were doing exactly what Kaden wanted them to do.

  It didn’t make Seth feel any better.

  Whatever she used to rub him with smelled like mint and burned like hell at first before warming up then cooling off. And it felt wonderful when combined with her talented fingers.

  Fuck, there was his woody, making a late appearance.

  At least he was lying on his stomach and she couldn’t see it.

  He heard Kaden in the doorway. “You alive in there?”

  “Yeah, you’re trying to kill me, all right.”

  He leaned against the doorway and laughed. “The more you practice, the less it hurts. You should work up to four or more times a week, about an hour each. At that point you’ll be in good shape.”

  Leah finished and patted Seth between the shoulders. “All done. That’ll help. Let me do it again at lunch. Between that and the Tylenol, it’ll be okay. I’ll get breakfast ready.”

  It did feel a little better.

  He waited until he heard the door close to move. He was alone.

  It was tempting to roll over and jerk off, but he didn’t want to get caught in the act. He still had his dignity, at least.

  * * * *

  “Son of a BITCH!” Seth hopped around and rubbed his inner thigh where the whip had stung him, even through his jeans. Missed his balls by mere inches.

  Leah sat off to the side. “You tensed on the swing.”

  He’d learned not only did he have to master throwing the damn thing but that there were different ways to throw it. In addition, depending on the type of whip and length, still more differences.

  He glared at her and rubbed the sore place, then tried again. Every time he nailed himself with the fucking thing it made him tense even worse on the next throw. This time, however, he managed to hit the target, even though the throw was low and to the left.

  “Can’t I just shoot you in the ass with paintball pellets? Those fuckers hurt. I’m an expert marksman with firearms. I could turn your ass red, green, blue, whatever the fuck color you want.”

  She laughed. Not just a giggle, but a deep, pants-wetting, full-out belly laugh.

  It made him smile. This was the old Leah. Once she recovered she giggled and shook her head. “You’ve had enough practice for tonight, I guess.” They’d been at it for thirty minutes. That, for now, seemed to be his limit. Kaden had gone inside to take a nap after dinner, leaving Leah to help Seth.

  Seth wasn’t sure if Kaden really needed the nap, or was just being a sneaky fucking bastard.

  He suspected the latter.

  Later that night, Seth lay in bed and thought about Leah’s laugh. If he could at least make her laugh like that every day, it would be worth most of this. Well, worth everything but losing Kaden in the process.

  * * * *

  As Seth suspected, Monday morning, Leah snuck in with his coffee after he’d started the shower. But he still stood, shaving and dressed in his boxers, at the counter.

  She smiled and handed him the mug. “Dang.”

  Seth shook his head and laughed.

  He almost had a normal day. The mental heartbeat—

  kaden’sdying

  —didn’t drive him to his knees like it had been. Leah was a little upset when he admitted he would go through the Golden Arches for lunch. He consoled her by agreeing she could pack him lunch the next day.

  Kaden went in to work. He returned home a little after Seth did late that afternoon, then called Seth into the study and closed the door.

  “Why the confab?”

  Kaden held up a folder of papers. Seth’s stomach lurched.

  “I don’t want her overhearing. She seems to be doing better today. She knows this has to happen. I don’t need to rub her face in it.”

  Seth felt a little sick signing the paperwork. Kaden tried to get Seth to read it all, and he waved him away. “Let’s just sign them and get it over with, dude. Like you said, so we don’t have to think about it.”

  “Ed’ll come over later tonight and notarize them for us.”

  “How much does he know?”

  “I told him about my cancer. He has to know.”

  “No.” Seth nervously licked his lips. “About the other stuff?”

  Kaden shrugged. “I told him most of the stuff. I was honest that I’m working to get you and Leah together. I want him to know that up front so he can help you out…after.”

  And there was that fucking word again.

  Goddamn how he hated it.

  * * * *

  Tuesday was almost normal. Seth got up and walked straight out to the kitchen for his coffee before Leah could bring it in to him. She pursed her lips, then laughed.

  “Cheater.”

  But she smiled. The new deep lines etched around her eyes saddened him. At least he could do this, make her laugh.

  Wednesday she got the upper hand, sneaking in before he’d even got out of bed.

  Either Leah or Kaden worked with him every night with the singletail. He was starting to get the hang of basic throws, but his aim still sucked and he had yet to make one pop loudly. He heard them in the playroom late Tuesday night, but the door was closed and he didn’t feel he should intrude. Kaden had already said they were going to skip the club this week because of the private class they were teaching on Saturday at Tony’s house.

  Kaden and Seth started playing their guitars together every night, usually before dinner. Sometimes Leah would sit with them, with her head against Kaden’s knee and either her hand or foot touching Seth’s foot.

  Thursday afternoon, when Seth returned home from his class, he rode with Leah to the doctor.

  “Gee, Mom. You don’t have to go in with me,” he playfully groused.

  She laughed.

  That became his personal secret mission through all the crazy bullshit. To try to make her laugh, hard, at least once a day
. He was even growing used to seeing her in the long T-shirt at home without springing a boner every time she walked into the room.

  Leah went in with him anyway. She explained their situation to the doctor, who was also Kaden’s primary physician.

  It was strange to Seth that the doctor didn’t bat an eye. When he left the room for a moment to get the nurse to come draw blood and other specimens, Leah seemed to read Seth’s look.

  “He’s a friend,” she said.

  “Loan out a ladder kind of friend, or loan out a riding crop kind of friend?”

  She laughed again.

  Dang! Two in one day. Maybe he could go for a hat trick.

  “The second.”

  For the more embarrassing part of the exam, Leah did turn around and not peek. He sensed her amusement though. After they were through and standing at the checkout desk, he poked her in the arm.

  “You got entirely too much enjoyment out of that.”

  She smiled and winked. “Girl’s gotta have fun where she can.”

  While the receptionist was running Leah’s credit card, Seth leaned close and whispered in Leah’s ear, “Just be thankful I’m not in full Dom mode yet, hon.”

  She gasped, blushed, and met his eyes. Spying his playful smile, she laughed again.

  Ah, hat trick.

  * * * *

  Friday afternoon, Seth beat Kaden home. Leah spent some time with Seth, trying to explain to him what would happen at the class on Saturday.

  “There’s going to be a dozen students, all couples.” She led Seth to the playroom. He nervously eyed the wall of implements as she tried to explain the basics and terminology.

  “Why do I need to know all this for tomorrow? Can’t I just follow along with the class and learn with them?”

  Her eyes twinkled. It was the happiest he’d seen her look since this all started. “Because you’re helping Kaden with the demonstration.”

  “What? No, Leah—”

  “Please?” Her eyes went wide, big green jewels in the middle of her face.