The Reluctant Dom Read online

  “Yeah?” he hoarsely called.

  The door opened. Through the opaque shower door glass he made out Leah’s shape.

  “I brought your coffee.”

  He reddened, embarrassed. “Thanks.”

  “Want me to scrub your back for you?”

  Despite what he’d just done, his cock immediately stiffened. “No,” he hoarsely said, “I’m good. Thanks.”

  “You sure?”

  “Um, yeah. Thanks. It’s just…you know…” He couldn’t finish and prayed she wouldn’t open the shower door.

  “Too soon?” she offered.

  “Yeah. Exactly.”

  “Did you want French toast or pancakes?”

  He looked down at his soft paunch. He wasn’t horribly overweight, but he wasn’t happy with how he’d let himself go over the years. He’d need to get back in shape. Next to Kaden he looked fat. “I need to go on a diet.”

  She leaned against the counter. “You need to eat a good breakfast. I’ll make you a salad for lunch.”

  What did it say about him that he could have a conversation with her like this?

  He’d better get used to it.

  “Pancakes, please.”

  She sounded happy. “Good. I’ll have everything ready when you get out.”

  “Thanks.”

  She left. He seriously considered jerking off again, but by the time he finished his shower he’d softened. He shaved, then went to get dressed. He stopped in the bathroom doorway.

  Something was off. But what?

  He looked around and it hit him. Leah had made the bed.

  A wave of guilt swept through him. He’d meant to do it after his shower.

  He caught sight of himself in the mirror over the dresser. A week ago, he’d been stuck in his rut but at least with a plan. In the space of just a couple of days his life had taken a hard right turn. In some ways amazing. For the most part…

  He wished he could go back. He would settle for his old sucky life if it meant Kaden would always be in it.

  * * * *

  Kaden sat at the counter, a plate of food and the newspaper in front of him. “Morning. How’d you sleep?” he asked Seth.

  “Fine.”

  Leah took Seth’s coffee mug and refilled it, then slid a plate of food in front of him.

  Kaden pushed the rest of the paper toward Seth. It felt surreal on a bunch of levels. That last night he was watching…and this morning… Ozzie and fucking Harriet. Literally.

  Weird.

  “Go ahead and take my truck again today. I’m not going anywhere this afternoon.”

  Seth nodded. It was easier to agree than protest.

  After breakfast, Seth spread out with his books and laptop at the dining room table. Kaden left him alone, retreating to the study Seth used to think was Leah’s. Now he realized it was Kaden’s. Leah quietly worked around the house, unobtrusively, leaving him alone.

  He almost managed to keep his mind on his studies.

  A little before lunchtime, Leah paused in the dining room doorway.

  “What’s up, hon?” he asked.

  “Did you want grilled chicken or turkey for your salad?”

  The question took him off guard. “What?”

  “What kind of meat?”

  “Don’t go overboard for me.”

  She stepped inside the room, a hint of thunderclouds rolling through her green eyes. “I’m not. I’m taking care of you.”

  He bit back a reply. Wouldn’t most guys kill for this? For their own personal slave?

  “Whatever Kade’s having.”

  That answer seemed to soothe her. “What time do you think you’ll be home? So I can plan dinner.”

  “I’ll just grab something.” He stopped when she frowned again. “I don’t want you guys waiting on me to eat.”

  “It’s okay. If you think you’ll be late I can make Kaden’s and have yours ready. I don’t want you to eat fast food.”

  “Why doesn’t Kaden weigh three hundred pounds?” he snarked.

  She smiled. “I keep him busy.”

  Something he could laugh about. And it looked good to see Leah smile.

  He leaned back. Before all this shit hit the fan they’d had fun playfully bantering back and forth, gentle teasing that never quite reached outright flirting but still fun and friendly. Not so much during his own marriages or around his wives, just in between.

  And there were plenty of times in between.

  “You going to keep me busy?”

  She flushed a little. It stirred his cock despite his best efforts. “I hope so.”

  He waved her to him and pulled her into his lap despite knowing it wouldn’t help his situation. She put her arms around his neck.

  “You guys said honesty, so I’ll be honest,” he said. “I don’t know how crazy I can be. How…” He fought to come up with the right words. “If I can keep up a full-time Master act. I’ll do my best to do whatever you need me to do, but I’m probably going to need downtime from that.”

  “I know. A lot of the time Kaden and I aren’t doing that.” She smiled. “Well, except for my collar.”

  “And running around naked.”

  Her smile widened. “I like it. Just because I’m naked doesn’t mean you have to act any different than you normally do. Just…sometimes.”

  Hell, he’d had a hard enough time getting his ex-wives naked in bed, much less to run around that way all the time.

  “That’ll be good enough for you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I mean, I’m going to want to be normal, whatever that is, a lot of the time.”

  She nodded. “I know. Me too.”

  “Just normal naked.”

  She grinned. “Right. Normal naked.”

  He wished she was wearing more than the long T-shirt and collar. “I know Kaden said something about not being formal for a while. Could we be whatever passes for vanilla normal around here for a couple of weeks? I’ve got exams to study for. Once I get the semester behind me you guys can start showing me full-time formal or whatever you call it.”

  She frowned. “You really should start learning some of the whip stuff.”

  “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking just everyday stuff, like right now. I know we’ve got a limited window of time. I need to ease into this. It’ll make it easier on me in the long run.”

  That seemed to make sense to her. She nodded. “Does that mean I need to wear clothes all the time?”

  He resisted the urge to stroke her thigh. “How about when I’m trying to study, you should dress like this, at least.”

  She grinned. “And when you’re not?”

  Man up, asshole.

  He shrugged. “Give me a few days before you start springing the full monty on me again, girl.”

  She hugged him. “Thank you, Seth,” she whispered.

  He put his arms around her and hugged her back.

  Wormhole. Here was his best friend’s wife, thanking him for allowing her to run around naked in front of him.

  Or he’d died and dropped into some weird mix of Heaven and Hell all swirled together—

  kaden’sdying

  Leah went to fix lunch. Seth put his things away and found Kaden in his study.

  While he was being honest, might as well go all the way. Seth sat and looked at his friend. “What the fuck am I supposed to do without you around, man? You’re my best friend.”

  Kaden leaned back in his chair. “You’ll get through it. The two of you will have each other.”

  “Are you sure there’s no alternative? Treatment? Clinical trial?” He’d gladly give up a future with Leah to have Kaden alive.

  Kaden’s face hardened. He glanced at the open doorway. Leah was in the kitchen, too far to hear his low tone. “If they’d caught it a year ago, I might have considered it. Then the five-year prognosis goes up. Two years ago, I definitely would have. I’m around stage three. They’d have to cut into me to tell for sure. I told them
fuck that. Where the tumor is, it’s not operable according to the tests and MRI. Treatment would buy me a couple of months at the cost of what I could otherwise be doing. I will not make myself sicker just to die a little more slowly. You remember my dad.”

  Seth nodded. “Okay,” he softly said.

  “I think she’s still in denial right now,” Kaden said. “I really do. She’s praying for a miracle.”

  “She’ll have to get in line behind me on that one.”

  Kaden returned to a normal tone. “I want to give you a lesson this weekend with the singletail. It’s the hardest to learn.”

  Seth recoiled, horrorstruck. “I’m not using that on her yet! Especially not right now.”

  Kaden smiled. “Relax, I didn’t mean on her. Target practice. You need to get the feel for it, and I want to teach you that now, before…” He didn’t finish, but Seth figured he knew what he meant.

  Before he got too sick to teach him.

  Kaden changed the subject. “I’m flying to Atlanta in a couple of weeks, to the office up there. I need to put some things in order. I’ll schedule it for after you’re out of classes so you’re home with her. She’s already quit a lot of her activities even though I told her she didn’t have to.”

  “You didn’t order her not to?” Seth knew that came out sharper than he intended. Kaden smiled.

  “Not for something like that. You’ll see what it’s like. I did insist she finish up that Christmas banquet fundraiser she does every year for Habitat. That’s too important. Plus, she’s going to need something to keep her mind off…stuff. Oh, almost forgot.” He stood and walked to a closed armoire, opened it, and removed two books. “Reading material. Help give you an idea what’s going on.”

  Seth read the back covers, both books on BDSM. “This is so whacked, dude.”

  “Yeah, but you’re a lucky son of a bitch.”

  “How the fuck do you figure that?”

  Kaden sadly smiled. “In the end, when all’s said and done, you get the girl.”

  * * * *

  Later that night Seth decided to go for a swim of his own. Leah and Kaden had retreated to their bedroom, and Seth didn’t feel like holing up watching TV in his room. Maybe it was as good a time as any to start his own exercise regimen. Wearing himself out would help him work off the apple pie he’d had for dessert and allow him to get to sleep.

  He’d been swimming a few minutes when he spotted Leah sitting on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water.

  He stopped in the shallow end, near her but not wanting to get too close. He hoped she didn’t want to come in for a swim. At least she was still wearing a T-shirt.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Fucking best bed I’ve slept in, and I can’t sleep,” he tried to joke.

  She smiled. He’d turned on the pool light, creeped out by the total darkness otherwise. He loved the way the light shimmered and reflected on her from below. “Is it okay if I sit here and watch you for a little bit?”

  He nodded. “Yeah.” Please don’t ask to swim with me.

  He swam a fast pace for twenty laps, trying not to notice her sitting there. He stopped at the shallow end to catch his breath.

  “I don’t think you’re fat,” she said.

  He laughed. “Hellooo, left field.”

  She smiled and looked at her hands. “I nearly slapped Jackie at that last Fourth of July cookout you brought her to,” she quietly admitted.

  This was news. “What?”

  She nodded before meeting his gaze. “You and the guys were out back cooking the ribs. She was in the kitchen with me and Edina and Laura. She was on her third beer or something. The other two were talking about their husbands. She made this really bitchy remark about how you were getting fat and started making fun of you. I dropped a glass on the floor, pretended it was an accident.”

  Fat? Hell, he’d been five pounds lighter then than he was now. And now he was only pudgy around the midsection, not obese. But next to Kaden’s trim body he looked huge. “Why?”

  “To shut her up. If I didn’t, I was going to slap her.” She took a deep breath. “I wanted to tell her she wasn’t good enough for you. That she didn’t deserve you. That she didn’t know how to treat a man right.”

  Thank God he was in the water, because he hardened. Hopefully she couldn’t see. He didn’t know what to say. “Oh.”

  “I hated her.” Now it was out. Even after he filed for divorce from Jackie, Leah had never openly bad-mouthed her, although it was obvious she didn’t like her. Leah’s voice filled with emotion. “I didn’t like Kelly or Paula either. At least Kelly seemed to care about you at the beginning. I despised Jackie. I was so glad you divorced her.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Her voice dropped lower. “You spent more time with us when you weren’t married. I know that’s selfish of me but…” She finally shrugged.

  Jackie hadn’t been fond of Leah either. In fact, Seth had angrily defended Leah in a private argument while Kaden’s house was being built. Jackie tossed out the accusation that Leah was trying to seduce him. “You should see the way she looks at you,” Jackie had said. “Almost the way she looks at her husband. It’s disgusting.” He’d told Jackie she was drunk and imagining things.

  What had been disgusting was his divorce, trying to ignore the stinging truth that he was only a meal ticket for her, the rumors of her catting around, and having to start over.

  And now…

  Kaden’s voice startled him. “I told you she’s always taken good care of you.” He walked over and sat at the edge of the pool with Leah, brushed a stray hair out of her face. He kissed her forehead, and she closed her eyes and leaned against him.

  What the fuck do you say in a case like this?

  Seth didn’t know, so he stayed silent.

  “She spent more than one night in a gag after you left with one of those women, didn’t you, sweetheart?”

  Leah smiled and nodded.

  “Gag?”

  “She wouldn’t shut up about how much she hated them, that they weren’t good enough for you. On and on. There were a few nights I gagged her to shut her up.”

  Seth laughed despite the twisted knot in his stomach. “This is twenty kinds of übercreepy. You realize that, right?”

  Kaden shrugged. “I told you, you’ve starred in her fantasies more times than I can count.”

  Okay, make that fifty kinds of übercreepy.

  Leah blushed but she smiled again. “I’ve always thought that girl you guys shared that time was a lucky woman.”

  Now Seth blushed. Even in the cool water he knew he had to be beet red. “Dude, you told her about that?”

  “Why not? It happened before I met her. She was curious.”

  Übercreepy was quickly giving way to whacked-out weird.

  Kaden sensed Seth was at the end of his emotional rope again. He stood and gently tugged on Leah’s hand. “Let’s leave him alone, sweetheart. We’ve got a lot to do this weekend, and there’s plenty of time to talk later.”

  She stood. “Good night, Seth.”

  He dumbly nodded, sinking further in the water, watched them return to their room through the sliders.

  Lucky woman?

  He wouldn’t deny the fantasy had crossed his mind on more than one occasion about a three-way with Leah, but those were limited to his solo sessions when he needed a little extra umph over the hump, so to speak.

  Never something he would have seriously contemplated.

  He started swimming again, trying to drown Leah’s words out of his head.

  * * * *

  A little after eight Saturday morning, Seth rolled out of bed. He stumbled into the shower and stood under the spray, trying to wake up. The week had taken a toll on him, and despite swimming for over an hour after Leah and Kaden went to bed, he’d still had a hard time getting to sleep.

  He gave up fighting his morning boner and fisted his cock, let his
mind drift to the fantasy of having Leah in his bed. Why the fuck not? Might as well.

  He should have expected the tap on the bathroom door. He jumped, startled. “Yeah?”

  The door opened. “Coffee.”

  “Thanks,” he said, his voice choked.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Fine.” His cock didn’t wilt. In fact the sound of her voice made him stiffer.

  Fuck.

  “Bacon or sausage? I’ve got links.”

  He pressed his forehead against the tile, his cock still throbbing in his hand and demanding attention. “Surprise me.”

  “Seth?”

  “I’m okay. Just not awake yet.”

  “Okay.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the door shut. He frantically pounded at his cock, closing his eyes a moment later as his climax took him.

  He showered, shaved, and found she had once again made the bed.

  * * * *

  He beat Kaden to the kitchen. Leah refilled his coffee and studied him.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You sounded weird. What was going on?”

  He felt his face redden.

  Leah’s eyes widened. “Whoops. Sorry.” Her playful smile told him she was anything but sorry.

  He had a feeling she would now play some sort of “Catch Seth Jerking Off” game in the morning.

  “I told you I’d help you with that.”

  He grabbed the newspaper and buried himself in the A section while she fixed his plate. Every time he glanced at her, he spotted her playful smile.

  Terrific. That was all he needed.

  Kaden appeared a few minutes later. Leah went to get fully dressed. She reappeared a few minutes later, wearing her silver necklace and a conservative short-sleeved shirt and shorts. An hour later, the three of them were browsing through furniture in Sarasota.

  Seth felt guilty enough over what was going on. He didn’t want them spending more money on him. He was smart enough however to not fight Leah. Kaden had apparently turned this task over to her. She was bound and determined to get something Seth liked.

  Later that afternoon, the men had the pieces spread out on the living room floor with the instructions, trying to assemble everything. Once they were in place, Leah made the men leave Seth’s boxes in his room, and she took over unpacking and arranging.