Vulnerable Read online

  “I’ve got condoms, Sir,” Jesse said. “I use them for toys a lot.”

  “Toys?”

  “You know. Butt plugs?”

  Leo smirked. “Ah. Gotcha.”

  “No offense, Sir, but before we go bareback, I need to see new test results. Nothing personal. After what Mario put me through—”

  With his other hand, Leo grabbed a hank of Jesse’s hair and held him in place as he kissed him, hard, deep, feeling Jesse’s cock throb against his palm in response through the fabric of his briefs.

  “That,” Leo hoarsely said, “is exactly the kind of give and take I want from you, no matter what we’re doing. I want you to do that, to stand up for yourself with me. Always. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sir. Can I ask something?”

  “Anything.”

  “After we get done, can we talk about why that means so much to you?”

  Leo nodded. “Yeah. I think we have to, don’t we?”

  “I think so, Sir.”

  “And one more thing.”

  “Yes, Sir?”

  Leo kissed him again. “I love hearing you call me Sir.”

  Jesse smiled. “Then I guess I’ll keep doing that, Sir.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Jesse knew he wasn’t a manwhore, but a couple of his past boyfriends had been pretty damn good in the sack.

  Nothing, however, had prepared him for the intimacy of the simple gesture of undressing him the way Leo had.

  For the first time, Jesse actually felt a little embarrassed, standing there in his briefs with his cock screaming like the damned goat on that car insurance commercial.

  Leo’s fingers traced the outline of it through the fabric, sending shivers through Jesse. Then Leo slid his large, rough hands around him, inside the elastic of the waist, and down over his ass, pulling him against Leo.

  Yes, that was a considerable bulge in the man’s jeans. Jesse was looking forward to being the owner of the first ass it got to experience.

  Well, first male ass. No telling if Leo’s ex liked backdoor action or not.

  When Leo slid Jesse’s briefs down his legs, the cool air hitting his cock didn’t soften him in the slightest, although it made his nipples even harder.

  Leo gently trailed his fingers down Jesse’s cock. “You sure you don’t mind teaching me a few things?”

  “It’s my pleasure, Sir.”

  Jesse gasped when Leo wrapped his fingers around his cock. It took every ounce of will he had not to frantically start fucking the man’s hand. But after one gentle squeeze, Leo let go.

  Leo tucked Jesse briefs into the backpack and picked up the collar. “How tightly do you wear it?”

  “Third hole from the end, Sir.”

  Leo stepped behind him. Jesse’s eyes dropped closed, the vortex of subspace having long ago sucked him into its soft and inviting depths. As he felt the cool leather touch his flesh, he took a deep breath, holding it for a moment and letting it out as Leo buckled the collar around his neck where it quickly warmed to his skin.

  The wrists cuffs next, and then Leo actually knelt on the floor to buckles the ankle cuffs on him.

  Mario had never knelt for him. Ever.

  For any reason.

  Mario had expected Jesse to be ready and waiting in whatever position he’d told him to be waiting in. The only collar Mario had buckled around Jesse’s neck was the cheap-ass dog collar he’d tried to pass off as Jesse’s permanent collar.

  Hell, it’d probably been a dollar store dog collar, as cheap as the bastard was.

  When Leo stood, he took Jesse’s hands. “You still want to play with me?”

  Jesse nodded. “Yes, Sir. More than anything.”

  “Do I need to worry about marks?”

  “I doubt you’ll mark me, but as long as you only hit me hard on my ass or thighs, that’s fine.”

  “Okay.” He led him over to the bench, where Jesse had already spread the towel out. “Go ahead and get comfortable.”

  He did, closing his eyes, wrapping his fingers around the ends of the bench and praying he didn’t accidentally come in the middle of the scene.

  Leo started out resting his hands on the backs of Jesse’s shoulders, fingers splayed, warmth flowing from him into Jesse’s flesh. Slowly, he stroked down, firmly, on either side of Jesse’s spine, as if starting a massage.

  He sensed Keith step in and heard some soft words exchanged, sounding like Leo had asked him a question.

  The exploration continued, Leo’s touch growing more firm and sure as he worked up and down Jesse’s back, fingers kneading his muscles, learning his body.

  Lower, Leo squeezed Jesse’s ass cheeks, firmer, more pressure, fingers digging in until Jesse felt the bite of pain that excited him and made his toes curl. That was where Leo stopped, holding, maintaining, until finally releasing and kneading his flesh.

  Jesse whimpered, his breath coming in gasps. He didn’t know what would come next, but all he knew was he desperately wanted to please this man.

  And that nearly scared him.

  * * * *

  Leo desperately didn’t want to hurt Jesse in the bad way. Besides the fact that he wanted to run his hands all over the man’s flesh, he wanted to get an idea where bones and muscle lay, exactly where he could strike him without harming him.

  At one point he tipped his head at Keith, motioning him over. “Show me my safe zones, please.”

  Without actually touching Jesse, Keith drew invisible boxes with his fingers. “Below his hip bones, and watch out for his tailbone. All the fleshy parts of his ass, and here, upper thighs. You can lightly use that dowel along the sides of his spine, in those muscles, but be very careful. I lay a hand on the spine itself so I hit me and not bone. The slapper, you can use that across his upper back and shoulders, too, without worrying. Everything else, except your hands, limit it to his ass and thighs for now. Don’t worry. If I see you about to do something wrong, or if you land a bad hit, I’ll say so.”

  “Okay, thanks.”

  Keith nodded and stepped back where Leo could easily see him but he wasn’t intruding on their personal space.

  Leo squeezed Jesse’s ass again and then moved to stand at the man’s left side. Remembering what Jesse had said about triggers, he reached up with his left hand and hooked two fingers under the collar, at the back of Jesse’s neck.

  With his right hand, Leo started delivering bare-handed smacks to Jesse’s ass, alternating sides, increasing the force as Keith nodded encouragingly, until Jesse was softly moaning and rocking back into every blow.

  Leo leaned in close. “Are you okay?”

  “Green, Sir,” Jesse said, but his voice sounded slurred, faint.

  Concerned, he looked to Keith, who frowned back at him. Leo motioned him in.

  “What?” Keith mouthed.

  Leo leaned in. “How are you doing, Jesse?”

  In that same, slurred tone, Jesse moaned, “Green, Sir!”

  Keith clamped his lips together to stifle a loud burst of laughter. When he recovered, he walked around the bench and whispered in Leo’s ear, “He’s fine. Deep in subspace. Green’s good. He’s telling you to keep going. He’s having fun. Green, yellow, red. Keep going, if you want.”

  Relief washed through Leo. He started spanking Jesse again, taking his time, enjoying the way the man’s body writhed beneath him. Hell, he could stand here and do this all night, or until his hand fell off.

  After a few minutes, he stopped that and went back to stroking Jesse’s back. He couldn’t get enough of that, of the feel of him.

  He went for the slapper next, more to build up his confidence than anything. Once again, he grabbed the collar with his left hand and held the slapper in his right. Light strokes across Jesse’s ass at first, watching his reaction, until he found the right level to keep him moaning and squirming but not totally tensing up with pain.

  He really wasn’t sure he wanted to try using that elsewhere on Jesse yet, so he switched to the wooden do
wel. Again, carefully testing, he started smacking Jesse with it, varying the location and strength of the impacts, testing to see what reaction he’d get.

  It didn’t take him long to move on to the acrylic paddle. That one he tested on his arm before using it on Jesse. Stingy, for sure, especially considering how light it was, but Keith stepped in and mimed that Leo could smack the outsides of Jesse’s thighs, and his calves and upper arms, with it, so Leo did.

  Then, the riding crop. This one frightened Leo a little, because he’d seen someone else using one and they had immediately brought up red and angry welts across the woman’s flesh with it.

  And Jesse’s ass was already a beautiful shade of red.

  He smacked himself in the arm with it a few times to get the feel for it before planting his left hand in the hollow of Jesse’s back. He had a gorgeous, perfectly firm ass.

  Across the back of Jesse’s left thigh first, then the right, light strokes to start with, until he started taking ones that had Jesse squirming and left light lines behind.

  Leo set that aside, smoothing his hands over Jesse’s flesh, feeling the warmth of his skin. Then on to the wooden paddle, which he smacked against his own thigh first. He knew the jeans would muffle it so he pulled the force of the first couple of hits. He could always hit harder.

  He couldn’t un-hit the man.

  Jesse looked vulnerable, gorgeous, as Leo slowly smacked the backs of Jesse’s thighs.

  Finally, he took several hard, last strokes, pressing down firmly on Jesse’s back to hold him in place as he felt the man’s back arch with each blow.

  Finishing, he set the paddle aside and folded his body over Jesse’s, sliding his hands down Jesse’s arms, lacing fingers with him.

  Nuzzling the nape of Jesse’s neck, Leo gently nipped the back of his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  “Green, Sir,” Jesse whispered.

  Leo felt Jesse’s body trembling under him. Concerned, he sat up and grabbed the blanket, draping it around him.

  Keith stepped in. “Take him over to one of the couches,” he said, pointing. “I’ll take care of the benches and implements for you.”

  “Thanks.”

  He grabbed Jesse’s backpack and helped him up off the bench. Grabbing the towel, too, he led Jesse over to one of the vacant couches and settled there with him. Jesse wrapped the blanket around himself and curled up, facing Leo, his head in Leo’s lap.

  Leo wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do for the man, but he draped an arm over him, pleased when Jesse adjusted the blanket so he could hug himself around Leo’s arm with it pressed against his bare chest.

  Leo rested his other hand on Jesse’s head, stroking his hair. Glancing over to the bench, he saw Keith wiping it down with wipes from one of the canisters scattered around. Then Keith started cleaning the implements off.

  What Leo wanted to do was unzip his jeans and let Jesse suck his cock, but that would be…

  Well, against the rules. Not wrong.

  Not anymore.

  Thoughts and needs he’d long tried to ignore, to suppress. Thoughts and needs he’d thought were wrong…weren’t.

  To wonder how to work around to find something equivalent to make him as hard for Eva as he felt right now.

  Definitely not a wrong thought.

  After several minutes, Jesse took a deep breath and looked up at him.

  “Are you okay?” Leo asked.

  Jesse’s hand snaked up, caught the back of Leo’s neck, and pulled him down for a long, deep kiss. “I think I’m better than I’ve ever been in my life, Sir,” Jesse said.

  * * * *

  There had been an energy, almost electricity, flowing between them. Jesse felt it with Leo in a way he’d never felt it before. Could Tilly skillfully beat his ass?

  Absolutely.

  What she couldn’t do—through no fault of her own—was bring out the emotions and the desire Jesse now felt washing through him. He wanted to bare his throat to the man, be completely vulnerable and emotionally exposed to him, not just physically.

  If he turns out to be a douche and breaks my heart, I’m going to swear off sex and invest in Fleshlights, I swear I will.

  Jesse ran his fingers through Leo’s hair. “Please don’t dye your hair,” he whispered. “I love it like this.”

  One of those quirky smiles curved Leo’s mouth. “Thanks. Wasn’t planning on it, don’t worry. Eva always tried to get me to do it.”

  “Stupid woman.”

  Leo’s smile faded. “She’s not my favorite person in the world sometimes, but she is the mother of my child. I’ll always love her for that, if nothing else.”

  Jesse felt guilty. “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay. I know it’s…weird. But she’s sort of stood up for me, too, I just found out. I wouldn’t feel right not standing up for her anymore. It’s kind of been my job all these years, anyway.”

  “No chance of you canceling your divorce and going back to her, is there?”

  “No. Not a chance.” Leo’s smile reappeared. “Especially not now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because this…” Leo’s fingers slowed in Jesse’s hair. Jesse loved the way they felt gently raking against his scalp. “This is a dream come true. I can’t ever go back. I have to go forward.”

  “I don’t normally ask guys home on a first date, but will you please come home with me?”

  “Technically, if we count dinner at Keith’s, I think this is our second date.”

  Jesse grinned. “Hot damn! That makes me not a slut!”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Once Jesse was steady on his feet again and had gotten dressed, Keith wanted a quick debriefing with the two men.

  “If I don’t, Tilly will kill me,” Keith said. “You okay, Jesse?”

  Jesse nodded. “Better than okay.”

  Leo watched the man. He didn’t think he was lying just to spare his feelings.

  “If it wasn’t good,” Leo said, “I want you to tell me the truth. Be honest. I won’t learn to do it better if you don’t tell me.”

  “It was good. It wasn’t perfect, but I have no complaints. I could have taken a lot more.” He held Leo’s hand. “We’ll talk to Tilly next time she’s in town. We’ll have her show you some stuff. You’ll have to learn your own techniques.”

  “Sorry I was hands-off,” Keith said, “I wasn’t going to jump in and touch him without having discussed it with both of you first.”

  Leo was a little surprised to find himself glad Keith had stayed hands-off. Not that he would have thought Keith was trying anything inappropriate, but…

  Leo realized he felt jealous. Territorial.

  He’d never felt like that before.

  Not even about Eva. Protective of her, absolutely. Responsible for her, definitely. In more ways than one.

  But never…

  Mine.

  Never jealous.

  Ever.

  After saying good-bye to his new friends, Leo nervously followed Jesse outside to the parking lot.

  “Let’s move your car, too,” Jesse suggested, “so you don’t have to walk all the way around tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?”

  Jesse turned. “I don’t have to be anywhere in the morning. If you want to spend the whole night, I wouldn’t mind that.”

  Leo pulled him in for a kiss.

  No fireworks exploded in the sky, but his cock stretched and roared in its best Godzilla imitation.

  “I wouldn’t mind that, either,” Leo said.

  Jesse smiled. “Good. Follow me.”

  Leo did, and sure enough, they parked just on the other side of the building.

  “Why do you live here?”

  “Kel owns the whole complex. This is his office and his apartment. He doesn’t live here now. He and his wife, Mallory, have a house. So he sometimes rents the apartment to people in the lifestyle who need a place to stay. It keeps someone living here in case there’s any trouble, and he gets to
help friends out.”

  Jesse let them in and reset the alarm, locking the door behind them before leading him upstairs.

  It wasn’t what Leo had expected at all. The two-bedroom, two-bath apartment had an open kitchen that looked out on a great room where the dining room table and living room area were located.

  Hell, he’d lived in far crappier, smaller places in his life.

  Shit, he lived in a far crappier and smaller apartment now.

  Jesse set his keys on the counter and set his backpack down. “So, about that talk.”

  Leo nodded. “Yeah?”

  “Short version. Why is me speaking my mind so important to you?”

  Leo leaned against the counter. “Short version isn’t so short, but I’ll do my best.” And he did, trying not to slam Eva in the process or without breaking her confidences. When he finished, Jesse nodded.

  “Okay. That makes sense. Look, here’s my deal. Long-term, I’m a submissive. I need a strong partner. Ideally, I’d like to be a slave to a Master I can trust. To give myself over. I am not a vanilla sex kind of guy. I need kinky sex to turn my crank. I need a Dominant for a partner. I’m good with speaking my mind if you insist, but I need you to understand that I want my place to be under you, because that’s where I’m happiest being.”

  “All the time?” Leo grinned.

  “Metaphorically speaking.” Jesse stepped in, grabbing Leo’s shirt. “I can still catch while on top.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’re so cute. Pitching and catching.”

  “Ah. I’m still so straight it’s not funny.”

  “I can take care of that for you.” Jesse rose up on his toes and kissed him before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. “In fact, let’s go take care of that right now.”

  * * * *

  Jesse’s first time with a guy had been shortly after he’d turned eighteen. The guy had been twenty-one and was no stranger to men. It’d been a great relationship while it lasted, but they were two different people and two drastically different personalities. Jesse wanted monogamy while the guy had wanted to play around.