Vulnerable Read online

  “Oh, some of them absolutely can and do hurt, depending on the material and how you use them. One like this, it’s called a mop flogger. Because you might as well be getting hit with a mop. Some people use them for warm-up, step-down, or transitioning from one kind of play to another.”

  Leo handed it back to Keith and picked up a leather strap with a wooden handle.

  “Ah, now that one,” Keith said, “is a little stingier. Slap it against your arm.”

  He did, a couple of times, until he reached a point it made him wince. Then again, he had a fairly high pain tolerance. Sort of went with being a welder. He was used to discomfort.

  “And that,” Keith noted, “is exactly the kind of thing you should do. Smack yourself with an implement to get an idea of how it feels. If it’s thuddy or stingy or whatever. Something like a flogger, I mean, I can tell for the most part what it’s going to feel like unless it’s a special-purpose one. But some implements, if it’s not one similar to something I’ve used before, absolutely I test it on me first so I don’t harm my pets.” He grinned. “Yes, I have even been known to let them use one on me from time to time, so I can feel what it’s like. I think they enjoy that payback a little too much when I do, though.”

  Leo chuckled. “I’m sure they do.”

  Keith reiterated some safety issues, about how and where it was safe to hit, and with what. Stay away from the spine and kidneys and bony parts, like knees and elbows. Avoid the tailbone. Try to stick to ass and upper thighs for now.

  “Will you stay there with me and coach me?” Leo asked.

  “Absolutely. I think Tilly would kill me if I didn’t. Frankly, I’m a little scared of her.”

  Jesse laughed. “Not many people aren’t scared of her.”

  “Wow, and she’s y’all’s friend?” Leo asked in disbelief. “How come you’re friends with her if she’s so scary?”

  The other two men shared a knowing glance and laughed again. “You’d have to meet her and get to know her,” Jesse said. “She’s actually very loving and sweet to her friends. But you cross her, or hurt one of her friends…”

  “She’s like a ball of lightning,” Keith finished.

  Jesse snorted. “At least she’s never shot any—”

  “Shh!” Keith hissed, cutting off Jesse’s comment and tipping his head.

  Leo’s gaze followed, and he spotted Scrye, a huge bear of a man. From the look of it, he was getting ready to suspend his wife, June, who was tiny, petite.

  “What?” Leo asked.

  Keith glanced around and leaned in close. “Long story short, one of our friends was literally beaten up by her boyfriend. She escaped from him and called Tilly. A group of our friends got her out of there and safe. Well, then the fucker eventually made bail right before his trial, but the state attorney’s office failed to notify her attorney of that. She and June went down to Manasota Key to do some tai chi and walk one of the nature trails, and he stalked them and attacked them. Then…”

  Keith mimed shooting with his right hand. “June has a concealed carry permit.”

  Leo’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute. That was your friend? I remember that. I was down in Englewood at a marina doing a job that day and you couldn’t hardly move because of all the law enforcement.”

  Keith pointed over his shoulder at June. “She shot him,” he whispered, barely audible over the music. “We don’t talk about it around her, though. Scrye asked us not to. She doesn’t want to talk about it. They cleared her of it, of course. Self-defense. The guy had a knife and jumped them, came at them. Witnesses and everything.”

  “Holy crap.”

  Keith leaned forward, leaning on his elbows, fingers laced together in front of him on the table. “Like I said, we’re kind of a family, a lot of us are. Many of us are closer to our friends here than we are our blood relations. We’ll literally kill—although not usually literally—to protect our friends.”

  Leo couldn’t help but stare at the couple. June looked like she’d blow away in a stiff breeze, and she’d shot and killed a man?

  “Then there’s Laura,” Jesse said, looking at Keith.

  “Yeah, but that was, again, self-defense. He absolutely was going to kill her. That’s why he took her out on the boat. Unfortunately for him, she knew the boat better than he did and was smarter than him.”

  “Wait…” Leo searched his memory. “That was a couple of years ago? During that storm?”

  Keith nodded. “Rob and Laura don’t get here very often anymore. Not with their baby. They make the private parties fairly often, though.” He tipped his head. “I’ll find out when the next one is and let you know.”

  “When are they held?”

  “Usually on a Saturday.”

  “Oh. I probably won’t make many of them, then. Most Saturdays, I have Laurel at my place. I’m sorry, but I won’t give up my time with her.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Keith said.

  Leo noticed Jesse had gone silent and now wore a disappointed expression.

  “Are you okay?” Leo asked him.

  “Yeah.”

  He wasn’t going to play this game. He’d had twelve years of it with Eva and he wasn’t going to let a new relationship—if that was where this was heading—go the same direction.

  “In all seriousness, you need to tell me. I won’t play the guess-what’s-wrong game with you.”

  Jesse’s gaze focused on his. “Is this going to be a problem with your daughter? If…I mean, obviously nothing sexy or kinky will happen around her. But are you going to have a problem with having me in your life because of your daughter?”

  Before Leo lay a steep cliff with jagged rocks and only one tiny, treacherous path down to safety. At the bottom of that path lay happiness.

  Disguised in the form of Jesse.

  For now, at least.

  He slowly shook his head. “If things work out between you and me, yeah, you’re going to have to meet Laurel. Because she’s part of my life. I’m a package deal. If you can’t deal with having a partner who’s got a kid, then I’m not going to be able to be anything but friends with you.”

  Jesse smiled. “I don’t have a problem with it. I think it’s great that you put her first.” His smile faded. “At least there are some parents out there who put their kids first and not their own selfish agendas.”

  Leo’s thoughts had first gone in a different direction until he processed what Jesse meant.

  That was when it hit him.

  Yeah, Jesse had told him about his parents disowning him.

  “Next Friday,” Leo said, “let’s tentatively set up a dinner date. Once I know where Laurel wants to eat, I’ll let you know and have you meet us there. I’d rather go in separate cars at first. Fair warning, there’s a good chance it’ll be sushi.”

  Jesse’s smile beamed. “I absolutely love sushi.”

  Fuck. Me.

  Leo knew it was irresponsible and too damn soon and crazy, but he thought he might just be falling in love with the guy.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jesse’s body buzzed with excitement in a way it usually didn’t when he looked forward to a scene with Tilly. This was different.

  This was personal.

  He hadn’t even felt like this about Mario in the best of times.

  How sad am I?

  That it took practically destroying his life to rebuild it into something better?

  With someone better.

  Way better.

  Leo touched several of the implements before looking at Jesse. “You pick. Pick five things for me to use on you.”

  “What?”

  “I’m telling you to pick what you want me to use on you. Five implements. Well, something that comes in a pair would be one thing.”

  “I’m good with all of it.”

  Leo gently caught Jesse’s chin and made him look him in the eyes. “This is important to me,” he softly said. “I’m telling you to pick them.”

  He couldn’t p
ull his gaze from Leo’s blue eyes, and not because the man still had a gentle grasp on his chin.

  No, he didn’t understand why this was important to Leo, but it obviously was. He could see it in the man’s intense gaze.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Those two words fell naturally from his lips when speaking with Leo.

  Leo leaned in for a gentle kiss. “Good boy,” he whispered, and damned if Jesse didn’t shiver at the sound.

  Holy fuck, I’m screwed.

  Leo let go of him and sat back in his chair, waiting. Jesse glanced at Keith, but no help there. The other Dom stared at Leo as if trying to figure out the newbie’s plan but didn’t offer any suggestions.

  Studying the toys, Jesse tried to think what Leo would like…which was impossible, because he didn’t know what Leo would like. Hell, Leo wouldn’t even know what Leo liked yet.

  He finally settled on a lighter wooden paddle, the leather strap, a riding crop, an acrylic paddle, and a short wooden dowel about a foot long with a handle on it.

  Leo held his hands out. “Give them to me.”

  He did.

  “In the future, when I ask you to pick something out, or I tell you to make a decision about something, I don’t want you to question me or defer it back to me. I want you to do it. Understood?”

  Jesse licked his lips. “Yes, Sir.”

  A shadow seemed to cross Leo’s face. “This also goes for stuff outside of…this. When I want your opinion, and I ask for it, don’t put it back on me to decide. If I’d wanted to decide without input from you, I would have. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “I don’t know where this is going to lead. Or what form it’s going to take. Or if after tonight’s over we’re even still on speaking terms. But if we are going to last for the long haul, then you need to understand something about me. I want a partner. We can let that partnership take whatever structure we let it take. Submissive or equal or whatever, you’d still be my partner. When I ask for a decision from you, that’s what I want.”

  “Yes, Sir.” Jesse knew this would lead to a much more detailed private conversation later on. He suspected, based on what he’d pieced together so far between their talk Thursday night and then at dinner, that Leo had unwillingly borne an unhealthy share of responsibility for the relationship with his ex.

  And not consensually, either.

  “Good boy.” Leo stood. “Keith, can you tell me what the protocol is for playing?”

  “Sure.” He glanced around. “There are plenty of open stations tonight, so basically pick one, unless you want to wait for a specific one to open up.”

  “Do you want me to get a towel, Sir?” Jesse asked Leo.

  “If you need one, yes.”

  Jesse hurried over to the towel station, grabbed one, then added an aftercare blanket to that, and returned.

  “What’s in your backpack?” Leo asked.

  Jesse told him.

  “Is that what you usually wear when you scene?”

  “Yes, Sir. But you can have me wear what you want.”

  Leo smiled. “I’m thinking not the blindfold or the gag. Not this time. I want to be able to hear and see you. And do you mind if I don’t tie you down to the bench like Landry did to Cris? I’m not comfortable doing that yet.”

  “I don’t mind, Sir.” It took every ounce of will for him not to add, “Whatever You want, Sir.”

  “I think there are a couple of open benches in the new side,” Keith said. “Let’s go over there. Less people watching.”

  He led the way, carrying his implement bag.

  The bench Landry and Cris had used at the rear of the space was free. Keith set his bag down and stepped back. Jesse recognized Keith was setting himself up to personally DM the scene, not too close, but not too far away.

  Jesse turned to Leo, looking up into his eyes.

  Dammit, the guy had gorgeous blue eyes. Light, ice blue, crystal clear.

  “For aftercare, what normally happens?” Leo asked.

  “After she wipes down the bench and puts her stuff away, Tilly usually wraps me in a blanket, and either we sit on one of the couches, or if one of those isn’t free, we just find a quiet spot along the wall somewhere out of the way and she holds me until I’m ready to come back up.”

  “Okay. Is that what the blanket’s for?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Leo hung the implements in his hand on an implement stand next to the bench. Then he reached for the blanket and draped it across the other end of the stand.

  “Do you change clothes here, or what?”

  “She usually has me get ready and meet her at the bench, or wherever she’s going to play with me.”

  Leo turned to Keith. “What’s the rules about getting naked?”

  He snorted and pointed to a St. Andrew’s cross on the other side of the room, where a naked woman was loudly moaning around the ball gag in her mouth.

  “Ah, okay. I mean, can I strip him down? Or does he have to do it himself?”

  “Sure you can,” Keith said. “The only prohibited thing is sex-sex, like we went over.”

  “Okay.”

  When Leo focused on him again, Jesse felt his cock throb.

  This was really going to happen.

  “Let me see your backpack.”

  Jesse handed it over.

  “Do you put your clothes in here?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Leo unzipped it and rooted around, found the collar and cuffs and the leather jock. He arched an eyebrow at Jesse. “Do you prefer to wear the jock, or do you want me to top you naked?”

  He swallowed hard. “I wear it with Tilly because I know it’s more comfortable for her, but I think I’d rather you top me naked, Sir.”

  Leo’s mouth curled in a delicious twist that Jesse wanted to lick and suck. Hell, he wanted to jump the guy, leap into his arms, wrap himself around the man, and beg him to come home with him.

  Jesse wanted Leo that.

  Fucking.

  Badly.

  Leo set the backpack on the floor and laid out the collar and cuffs on the bench. “Longer ones on your ankles?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Leo turned to face him. “Hold your arms out to your sides,” he softly said.

  Trembling, Jesse did. Leo’s gaze held his as he reached out and slowly undid the top button of Jesse’s shirt. “Since this is going to be my first time, I want to do things my way as much as I can, and I want to make sure I remember it for the rest of my life.”

  Jesse’s mouth went dry. “Me, too, Sir.”

  No one had ever made Jesse feel like this, like he was the center of the universe.

  Leo slowly unbuttoned Jesse’s shirt until he pulled the tails from his jeans and slid his arms around Jesse’s waist.

  “Arms around me,” Leo whispered.

  Jesse complied, softly moaning when he felt the iron length of Leo’s cock pressing against him through their jeans. He rested his head against Leo’s chest and deeply inhaled.

  Leo tipped his head and nipped Jesse’s earlobe. “Tell me what you want me to do to you…boy.”

  Jesse had to struggle to stay upright, to keep his knees from unhinging and dropping in front of Leo like a rock. “I want Sir to beat and fuck my ass.”

  Leo’s throaty chuckle rumbled through him. “We can’t have sex here.”

  “I live in an apartment on the other side of the wall, Sir. We can go over there after. If you want.”

  * * * *

  Leo froze.

  Oh, fuck.

  What he really wanted to do was drag the guy out of there, around the building, and into his apartment so they could get right to the fucking.

  But…

  He drew in a long, deep breath. This was nothing like his two encounters in St. Pete. This was…this was real.

  Deep.

  Sexy.

  Personal.

  Leo closed his eyes and inhaled. He smelled soap and deodorant and shampoo,
but no cologne or annoying body spray. Built so differently than Eva, Jesse felt firm and sturdy in his arms, a perfect fit against his body.

  “We’ll see how we both feel after this,” Leo hoarsely said.

  The last thing he’d expected was to get laid that night.

  But damned if he wasn’t really looking forward to popping more than just his Top cherry tonight.

  Forcing himself to step back, he worked Jesse’s shirt off, neatly folded it, and tucked it into the backpack.

  “Take your shoes and socks off,” Leo ordered.

  Jesse quickly did, once again standing in front of him. He didn’t have a lot of body hair, a light dusting over his tanned skin, which with his shirt now off, Leo could see the tan lines from the shirts he obviously wore at work. His chest and abs were firm, toned, and paler than his arms, neck, and face.

  Leo hoped his hands didn’t tremble too badly as he started working on Jesse’s belt, finally getting it open and then unbuttoning them. It was difficult working the zipper down over Jesse’s hard cock, but fortunately he had briefs on so Leo didn’t catch him with the zipper. Leo knelt, tapping first Jesse’s left leg, then his right, to step out of his jeans.

  Once folded, they joined his shirt in the backpack.

  Leaving Jesse standing there with a very nice, hard cock sharply outlined against his navy blue briefs.

  Leo palmed his hand over Jesse’s bulge. “How many guys have you been with before?”

  Jesse licked his lips. “Total, six. But not any since Mario, and I tested three times since then. Neg each time. Doc says I’m clear across the board.”

  Leo froze, confused. “Huh?”

  Keith leaned in. “HIV and STDs. He’s negative. You know, neg and pos?”

  “Oh. Sorry. Remember, I’m a newbie to this.”

  Keith smirked. “Not to cast aspersions on your wife, but it wouldn’t hurt for you to go get a full STD panel, too.”

  Yeah, he would have to do that. Leo looked down into Jesse’s eyes again as Keith stepped back to the sidelines.

  Leo dropped his voice so only Jesse could hear. “Technically, I’ve been with two guys before. One of those, it was only a mutual handjob. The second guy blew me, but that was it. I think that still technically makes me a virgin with guys.”