Reconsider Me Read online

  “Thank you, Sir,” he said, touched at the gesture.

  He eased Fen down to his knees, then Fen heard the whisper of rope before he felt it. Joel quickly started tying him, his arms together in front of him, hands literally over his cock, so he could easily reach it.

  “Just because you can play with it doesn’t mean you have permission to,” Joel whispered in his right ear, the smile in his voice making Fen’s cock twitch.

  A shiver raced through his body. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good boy.”

  At one point, he bent Fen forward over the seat of the couch, and in addition to the sheet, Fen felt a beach towel under him. Now Fen had a suspicion what this position was for. He’d spent plenty of time engaged in cock worship just like this. The rope harness made it hotter, though, he wouldn’t deny.

  Joel paused in his tying, running his hands down Fen’s torso, to his ass, over it, down his thighs and back up again. “How’s my boy?”

  “Green, Sir.” Fen impossibly felt himself slipping toward subspace, unable to believe he could actually get there without at least some impact play first. He never had before, not with any partner, although he’d certainly reached subspace far more easily with Joel than he ever had with anyone else.

  Then his stomach loudly rumbled, mortifying him.

  But Joel chuckled as he squeezed Fen’s ass cheeks for a moment, fingers digging in. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to feed you dinner. Hence the sheet. Don’t want to make a mess.”

  Fen completely relaxed, not even realizing there’d been a little bit of tension in him. Of course Joel wanted to protect his sofa from food or other…spills.

  Duh.

  Nothing nefarious here.

  The rope harness felt comfortingly tight and wiggle-proof, but not so severe Fen thought his hands would go numb. Joel had become an expert at restraining his limber subby over the past few weeks.

  Once Joel finished, he patted Fen on the rump.

  “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back with dinner.”

  Fen heard him moving around in the kitchen and make several trips back and forth. He’d moved the coffee table to the side, but right against the couch, where Joel could reach it. Then he settled into place sitting on the couch in front of Fen with his thighs spread wide, Fen between them.

  Fen opened his mouth and tried to catch Joel’s cock, but a hand gently cupped his chin and tipped his face up as Joel laughed. “Not yet, baby. Don’t make me blow yet.”

  Salad first, fed to him by hand, with fingers, Joel taking time to let Fen suck Caesar dressing off his hands between bites. Pieces of grilled chicken, chunks of cheese—it was perfect.

  He was perfect.

  Followed by raw veggies and ranch dressing, and then fresh fruit for dessert. Fen didn’t know how long he knelt there, mouth automatically opening after every bite, his cock dripping and hard the whole time.

  Joel licked Fen’s lips and chin clean before wiping him down with a damp wash cloth.

  “Ready for some fun?”

  He nodded, barely able to think at that point, his bliss felt so thick and powerful. He knew he was fucking deep in subspace. He didn’t even realize when Joel had turned on the music, except now it was playing and had been for a while.

  Joel carefully got up to clear the food. When he returned, he knelt behind Fen, his body folded over Fen’s back, arms encircling him, hugging him.

  “Do you trust me, boy?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Joel nipped the back of Fen’s left shoulder. “Please don’t freak out on me, okay?”

  Fen tensed, but nodded.

  Joel moved away for a moment, and Fen heard sounds of him getting something else. When he returned, more rope. This time, tying a hip harness around him, between his legs.

  That’s when he heard the bottle of lube open and Fen froze.

  “Shh, let me do this. I don’t want you rubbed raw.”

  Behind his blindfold, Fen closed his eyes and prayed he hadn’t made the worst mistake of his life. Tears broke free, and he flinched when he felt Joel rub lube along the seam of his ass.

  Before he could say anything, Fen felt something…long and thick and not flesh press against the length of his crack, all the way down to his balls, but not like Joel was trying to fuck him with it. Almost like—

  “Let me finish tying this in place.”

  A breath Fen hadn’t realized he’d been holding rushed from him. More tears. This time, of relief.

  Suddenly, the feel of Joel’s hand in the middle of his back and his voice in Fen’s left ear. “Baby, are you okay?”

  He nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

  Joel kissed his cheek. “I don’t want it to slip out of place.”

  “It’s…it’s—”

  “Wedged in there. Not going inside you.” He chuckled. “I promised I wouldn’t violate your limit. I did not promise not to find a workaround that wouldn’t.”

  Relief and curiosity waged war within Fen and had snapped him out of subspace. But now Fen kind of got the impression that whatever the sort of squishy, jelly-like tube was down there, it was definitely of a fuckable size.

  Okay, then.

  Joel finished tying. “Okay, close your legs together and stick your ass out.”

  He did, moving carefully, trying not to squeeze his balls in the process.

  “You can use your hands to rearrange things down there, if you need to.”

  That helped. Now with his thighs pressed together and his balls safely out of the way, he realized between his body and the rope harness, it was holding the thing in place.

  Now he also understood why Joel had tied his hands in front of him, in that position.

  The sound of the lube bottle being opened again came to him, definitely the edible lube, from the blueberry scent. Fen’s cock had wilted during his previous fear, but Joel’s lubed hand quickly pumped his shaft, getting him hard again. Then—

  Holy fuck!

  Something warm and soft and slick and nubby and indescribably hawt feeling engulfed Fen’s cock, making him moan.

  “Yeah, baby. I thought you’d like that toy.” He folded himself over Fen’s body again. “Hold on to it for me for a minute. But don’t fuck yourself with it.”

  Fen’s trembling fingers closed around it and Joel’s hand disappeared.

  It was hard to hold still. Fen wanted to hump himself like crazy on whatever the fuck it was.

  Behind him, Joel grabbed Fen’s hip with his left hand, and with his right apparently held his own cock. He lined himself up and pressed forward.

  Fen felt Joel sliding his cock into the toy wedged between his legs, slowly filling it, making Fen moan again and want to hump himself back and forth.

  “I know, baby. Fuck, wait’ll you try this one. It grips your cock.” He fell still with his abs pressed against Fen’s back. “Okay, give me a moment. This is fucking hot, and I’ve been fantasizing about this for days, ever since they arrived. I want to give you a nice, long ride before I blow.”

  Days?

  Fen pushed his ass out against Joel. Never had anyone suggested something like this to him before.

  If they had, he would have readily agreed. All the fun and none of the drawbacks? Absolutely! He could never enjoy it—before—when a guy said he only wanted to fuck his asscrack, because invariably there was an “oops” where the guy “accidentally” almost poked it in his butt. So Fen was always tense and on guard, unable to really relax and have fun with it until it was over and he knew he wasn’t going to be violated.

  In fact, the only reason he’d started doing that with Joel was he had initiated it himself, while riding on top of Joel and able to control it. When Joel was on top doing it to him, he always went too slow to actually get himself off, preferring to be careful and use it more as foreplay, afraid of accidentally triggering Fen.

  Joel’s hand reappeared around Fen’s holding the toy encasing Fen’s cock. Joel tightened his grip, trapping Fen’s hand in pla
ce and drawing the toy most of the way off Fen’s cock until only the head remained inside.

  Fen whimpered, afraid he was going to blow.

  “Okay, baby,” Joel whispered in his ear. “I want you to fuck your sweet self back and forth. If you come before me, you need to keep this fine ass of yours humping until I come, or else you’ll spend the rest of the night in the chastity cage while I tie you to the bed and suck your nipples.”

  Fen frantically started humping, trying to hold back while registering Joel’s deep, rumbling moan of pleasure. He haaaated the chastity cage, but wouldn’t safeword for it. Joel could easily get him hard, which hurt…which also made him hard.

  Ad infinitum.

  But it amused Joel. And Fen wouldn’t deny making the sadist smile was one of his own obsessions.

  “Yeah, that’s it, baby. Fuck yeah, that’s good.”

  Fen rocked harder, back and forth, pistoning his hips and hearing the slap of flesh against flesh. Now he understood why the lube, so the toy wedged between his legs could freely move and not grab or pinch his ball sac in the process and create the bad kind of pain, because it was sliding around a little.

  Joel’s other hand trailed up and found Fen’s left nipple, playing with it, circling it but not pinching—yet. “Sooo good, baby. I’m so fucking close. Be a good boy and fuck your Sir.”

  Fen braced himself against the couch and humped like a twerking twink hopped up on meth, frantically, chewing on his lower lip in an attempt to help himself hold back. Even with the slight pinch of ropes and the unfamiliar wedgie pressing against his balls from behind, he was still right on the edge of—

  “Yes!” Joel gasped, burying himself in the toy while starting to jack Fen off.

  Fen exploded, pressing his face against the sofa as he cried out, the orgasm so intense he thought his balls were trying to empty themselves inside out through his cock. As he shuddered, trembling, Joel slowed and stilled his movements, pressing the toy firmly against Fen’s pubes and lightly squeezing.

  One more full-body shudder of pleasure swept through Fen.

  He was vaguely aware of Joel pulling out and unwedging the toy, then he sat on the floor and cradled Fen against him, over his lap, in his arms.

  Joel’s lips found his. “We okay, baby?”

  “I love you, Sir.” It popped out of him, unplanned and a surprise to Fen, too.

  But it was true.

  Deeply and madly true.

  Terrifyingly true.

  Absolutely true.

  He felt Joel reach for the blindfold’s buckle. Blinking as the room came into view again, Fen felt Joel grasp his chin in his hand and he made Fen look him in the eyes.

  Those fucking gorgeous blue eyes.

  “Say it again, baby. I want to see you say it.”

  “I love you, Sir.”

  Joel smiled and kissed him, long, sweet, deep and fiercely.

  Possessively.

  “I love you so fucking much, you sweet little brat.” His hand slid around, cupping the back of Fen’s head as he kissed him again. “I love you so much it fucking scares me. But are we okay?”

  Fen rested his forehead against Joel’s. “Sir, we’re fucking fantastic. That was…that was awesome.”

  “I scared you, didn’t I?”

  He wouldn’t lie to him. “Yeah, the lube. I didn’t know where that was going to lead.”

  “So…are we okay?”

  “We’re okay. I trust you. I get it now.”

  “I promise this isn’t some gateway ploy, either. I mean, I’d like to experiment with other positions and you not being tied up, too. I’d also like you to try it from a Top role, if you want to. But I wanted something…different for tonight. Something I knew neither of us had ever done before. A special memory for us.”

  “No, I get it.” Fen lifted his head and stared into Joel’s eyes again for a long moment. “It was perfect. Thank you.”

  “Let’s go take a bath.”

  “Bath?”

  Joel smiled. “I might have gotten you something else. Well, it’s for both of us, but mostly you.”

  “What?” Fen tried to get up and remembered the rope harness.

  Joel grinned. “Impatient boy, hmm?”

  “Yes, Sir!”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Joel had been dubious about the Sephora sales clerk’s recommendation on the bubble bath…until Fen squealed when he handed him the bottle.

  Then Fen nearly tackled him. Joel had to catch him under his ass because he jumped up and wrapped his arms and legs around him like a spider monkey.

  Gawd, he fucking loved it when his boy did that.

  “Thank you, Sir!” He kissed Joel, deeply, grinning ear-to-ear when he let them both come up for air.

  Joel smiled. “Glad to see after the hottest round of sex in my life that it’s the bubble bath that makes you smile.”

  Fen finally put his feet down again so Joel could release him. “It was the hottest round of sex in my life, too, Sir.” He waggled his eyebrows at him. “Might lead to the second hottest round of sex in your life if you play your cards right.” He turned and bent over to turn on the water in the tub, giving Joel an adorable butt wiggle when he did.

  Joel couldn’t help it—he reached out and smacked his ass.

  Fen cast a sultry smile over his shoulder. “Keep that up, it might lead to round three.”

  “Let’s recover from this round first, baby.” He grabbed the two toys so he could rinse them in the tub, then stepped into the tub and sat, spreading his legs as wide as he could. At least the oversized soaking tub was another benefit to the condo.

  Fen set the stopper once the temperature was right and then dumped some bubble bath in before climbing in and nestling against Joel’s chest, between his thighs.

  Joel wrapped his arms around Fen. He couldn’t help it, he never wanted to let him go. He loved holding him. If all his guy required from him was never doing that one thing, hell, that was easy.

  Finding someone who quieted his soul the way Fen did wasn’t worth quibbling over how he got a damned orgasm.

  Certainly wasn’t worth losing him over it.

  Fen tipped his head back onto Joel’s shoulder and let out a contented sigh. “This is nice.”

  “Yeah.”

  He looked up into Joel’s face as he reached up and hooked a hand behind Joel’s head, threading his fingers through his hair. “Can I make the old dog, new trick joke now, or later?”

  Joel smirked. “How about saving it for while I have you tied down to a spanking bench and have a paddle in my hand? I wouldn’t want to forget. You know us old fogies are kind of shaky in the memory department, sugar.”

  Fen snorted and snuggled closer against him. “Yeah, nothin’ ‘old fogey’ about you, Sir. I want a better look at those toys.”

  He fished around in the bubbles until he found one, grabbing the one that had been wedged between his legs. After dumping the water out of it and brushing the bubbles off, he examined it. “It looks like it’s supposed to be inserted.”

  “It is.” Joel took it from him and touched the tip of his index finger to his thumb, encircling the base of the toy just behind the opening. “Doesn’t mean that’s the only way it has to be used. They make jack toys and insertables. ‘Wedgable’ isn’t a term on their website. Adapt, improvise, overcome.” He smiled.

  “Ah.” Fen fished around and found the other one.

  “That’s specifically a jack toy,” Joel said. “Very stretchy. You can even flip it inside out for cleaning and to dry.”

  Fen stretched it, impressed. “I love them.” He tipped his head back, staring into Joel’s eyes. “Thank you for these.”

  Joel struggled not to get lost in Fen’s sweet amber-brown gaze. “Oh, there’s more where those came from. Literally. I need to go easy on the spending for a couple of weeks. I went shopping online the other day and got a few other toys, too. I blew a wad there. Again, literally. So other than the club, we’re going to be st
aying in a lot. No movies, unless it’s Netflix and chill or something.”

  Fen pulled Joel’s arms more tightly around him. “Time in bed with you will be way more fun than a movie, Sir.” That was something else Joel loved about Fen, that he loved to snuggle. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed snuggling until Fen pranced into his life.

  If they were sitting on the couch, or even out at dinner, Fen always had to be touching him. Whether draped over his lap, or leaning against him, or even their thighs touching in a booth, or their feet pressed together under a table.

  Joel loved it, loved everything about him.

  Once the tub was full enough, Joel reached up with one foot and shut off the water. “I looove tangerine,” Fen said, deeply inhaling. “Perfect choice.”

  “I tried to pick one that it looked like you didn’t have. I should have taken pictures of the bottles but I didn’t remember seeing one of these.”

  “I can’t believe you went to Sephora for me!”

  “I can’t believe I know what the hell Sephora is. Do I get Dom brownie points for that?”

  Fen squeezed Joel’s arm with his hand. “You get allll the brownie points, Sir.”

  Joel rested his chin on Fen’s shoulder and inhaled. The scent of his boy, a little salty, warm, mixed with a fruit salad’s worth of different kinds of product. But always with the underlay of his own sweet scent.

  “I love you,” Joel quietly said. “I mean it. I don’t want to fuck this up. Maybe this makes me undomly, but I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you happy and not fuck this up between us.”

  “I love you so much it scares me,” Fen admitted. “I’ve loved before and gotten my heart ripped out. I was always afraid to love. Got used to holding that part of me back. I knew something would happen, and it’d end, and at least I’d know I didn’t lose my damn heart to them. I’ve lost my heart to you.”

  Joel caressed his cheek. Even with late-day stubble starting to come in, his skin still felt soft, gorgeous. “So what do we do now?” His heart pounded in his chest.

  “Isn’t that kind of up to you?”

  “This is something we need to talk about together.”