Any World That I'm Welcome To [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) Read online

  He disengaged himself from Dex and walked over to the dresser where the TV sat. He also had a small stereo there, and he plugged his phone into it, pulling up a playlist.

  Sultry jazz filled the room.

  Neil pulled the hem of Dex’s shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the floor before he discarded his own shirt. Then Neil took him into his arms and slowly danced with him.

  Skin to skin, they swayed in time together and as Dex stared up at this man, he realized maybe he didn’t know him as well as he thought he did.

  * * * *

  Neil was many things, but an idiot wasn’t one of them. He’d decided he wouldn’t pressure Dex for anything beyond honesty and faithfulness.

  That was it.

  Not exactly a high bar.

  He damn sure wouldn’t pressure him to play a role he might not be comfortable with. That Dex was giving him this much was…beyond anything he could hope for. Yeah, they’d had some pretty hot—and desperate—encounters over the past several days. As much a way to escape reality as to blow off sexual tension. To try to heal a little the only way they knew how.

  But if Dex was offering, he wouldn’t turn him down.

  How many nights had he imagined this exact scenario? Well, not exact. In those mental masturbations, he was fine with Tamsin watching from the sidelines while he fantasized he was seducing Dex.

  He’d always privately thought that, together, the two of them could give Dex the perfect life. She could be his play toy, and he could show Dex a whole other world of love and lust he’d been missing out on.

  Dex would never have to hold back with him, could always fuck him as long and hard as he wanted, even while Tamsin could be cute and cuddly and their fun little baby brat.

  The only thing missing to make this moment perfect was Tamsin.

  Yeah, he’d been in love with his best friend’s boyfriend for…a while.

  Would that make him a douche to admit it? Especially when Dex hadn’t said it to him yet?

  Did it even matter now? The whys were beyond Neil’s control.

  He had the nows and the futures.

  He would make the most of them.

  Lowering his mouth to Dex’s, he teased, tasted, traced lines along his lips and savored every single second and memory. This wasn’t their first night now, but it was their first night married.

  If Dex would let him, he’d spend the rest of their lives together showing him how good they could be together. Keeping him happy and satisfied.

  Moving over to the bed, Neil stretched out over Dex and slowly kissed his way down Dex’s chest. He teased his nipples with teeth and tongue, nipping and playing and loving every low hiss of pleasure he drew from Dex’s mouth.

  Savoring it.

  Wanting more.

  He already knew what the guy sounded like when he came.

  Neil wanted to make him make those sounds for him.

  Slowly, he followed the light treasure trail down to the waistband of Dex’s shorts, easing them lower as he kissed his way back and forth across his flesh. Once Dex’s cock was finally visible, Neil slowly engulfed it in his mouth, Dex’s soft moans completely hardening Neil’s cock.

  After getting Dex’s shorts off him, Neil settled in between his legs, worshipping this fine cock, his balls, all of him. Maybe he wasn’t Tam, but he’d show Dex he could keep him satisfied.

  As Dex’s cock pulsed under his attention, Neil drew it out, keeping him at a simmer, wanting him to remember this night like no other.

  Wanting him to beg for it so he could give it to him.

  * * * *

  Dex tried not to make comparisons, but…damn. The man had a hot fucking mouth on him.

  Had he truly appreciated this fact months ago, Tamsin most definitely would have gotten her wish back then.

  It felt like Neil was reverently exploring his cock, trying to orally memorize it, keeping the heat turned up and not even trying to get him over yet.

  He reached down to stroke Neil’s hair, and the man laced fingers with him, pinning his hands to the mattress.

  There probably wasn’t another person on the planet he would have trusted to have that much control over him like that except Neil.

  At some point, he found himself begging, pleading, his balls throbbing and aching for relief.

  Neil sat up, smiling. “That’s what I wanted to hear, Princess.” He quickly shed his shorts and grabbed a towel, lube, and condom. When Dex felt Neil’s cock breaching his ass, Dex knew this wasn’t only where he wanted to be right now, it was where he needed to be.

  With the only man who could truly share his life and understand what he was going through.

  Neil slung Dex’s legs over his shoulders and leaned in, arms reaching under Dex’s and holding on to his shoulders.

  His mouth closed over Dex’s and he slowly rocked in time with him as Neil made love to him.

  * * * *

  I love you, I love you, I love you.

  In his mind, Neil said it to Dex over and over.

  As he long-stroked Dex, savoring this moment, he hoped he wasn’t setting himself up for heartbreak.

  More heartbreak.

  Six months or a year from now? Five?

  Ten?

  If she lived that long, or decades?

  Would he be enough?

  He took his time, adjusting his angle until he really felt Dex trying to rock with him, knowing he’d finally found the sweet spot. Between them, Dex’s hard cock rubbed, flesh to flesh, pre-cum slicking both of their abs.

  Dex’s hands held on to Neil’s shoulders, digging in, the pleasant kind of pain that only drove Neil’s need.

  That’s when Dex started making those noises, soft, guttural, getting close to the edge. Neil wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold on until he felt Dex’s ass spasming, squeezing him, and one hand moved to the back of Neil’s head to hold him in a hard, crushing kiss that muffled Dex’s moans. Between them, hot cum created instant lube and Neil started pounding, deep, hard thrusts until he finally climaxed. As he fell still, his balls filling the condom, Dex didn’t break the kiss. Now tender, exploring, sweet.

  Loving.

  Neil stared down at him. “Mine,” he whispered.

  Dex smiled, nuzzling noses with him. “Mine,” he whispered back.

  * * * *

  They cleaned up and dozed off. With the weight of the wedding off their shoulders, and Tamsin’s care now ensured, they both collapsed into an unintended nap for a couple of hours, waking up hungry after dark.

  While they’d been pre-occupied, Sarah had left and Angela had come on duty for the night shift. Dex waited until Neil had walked into the kitchen to lean in and whisper in Angela’s ear.

  “Might not want to come into the kitchen for a little bit.”

  She smiled and dropped him a wink before going back to reading her Kindle.

  Neil was plating leftovers to nuke for them when Dex walked in. Once he had the first plate done and the second in and heating, Dex stepped in behind him, where he stood at the kitchen sink, and leaned in.

  “Hands on the sink,” Dex whispered, nudging Neil’s feet wider apart.

  “What—”

  Dex grabbed a handful of hair on the back of Neil’s head and bent him over. “Shhh. Behave.”

  Neil’s body tensed, then relaxed as he spread his legs.

  “Good. Stay there.” He released his hair and reached around him to unfasten his shorts and shove them down his legs before Dex opened his own shorts and fished his stiff cock out.

  Pulling the bottle of lube from his pocket, he quickly slicked his cock and then stepped into position, easily sliding deep into Neil’s ass.

  Neil bit back his moan, his head dropping while he thrust his ass out and back against Dex.

  “Yeah, just like that,” Dex said. He fucked Neil hard, fast, pounding him, wanting it quick and dirty and fun.

  A new memory to tuck away for those more difficult, lonely times when his grief still tried to
pluck him from life.

  After he’d filled Neil’s ass, he reached around and stroked Neil’s cock for him, quickly getting him off. They stood there for a moment before Dex reached for the faucet to wash his hand off, but Neil intercepted him, pulling it up to his mouth and licked his cum off Dex’s hand.

  Dex’s cock twitched with interest, but their earlier activity and this meant it’d be a while before he could manage a third time.

  Wedding night or not.

  Finally, he withdrew his spent cock from Neil’s ass and Neil turned in Dex’s arms, kissing him.

  “Staking a claim, huh?” Neil asked.

  “Well, duh. You got to claim my ass. Fair’s fair.”

  Neil wore a sweet, sated smile. “I take it you warned Angela not to come in here?”

  “I might have.”

  “Sneaky.” Another kiss. “Go clean up so we can eat.” He pulled his own shorts up and washed his hands while Dex headed out the back kitchen doorway to the hall so she couldn’t see him.

  That was the only drawback to this arrangement, that Dex and Neil couldn’t throw down whenever or wherever they wanted in the house without worrying about someone watching them.

  It was a small price to pay to have Tamsin safely home with them, the quality of her care guaranteed.

  Their minds at ease, in one way, at least.

  Dex cleaned up and passed the living room to give Angela a thumbs-up before returning to the kitchen. Neil had already set their plates on the table, but hadn’t taken a seat yet.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Where do you want to sit?” Neil quietly asked.

  He’d started to reach for a chair, but the tone of Neil’s question pierced through his brain and he turned.

  Neil stared at the table.

  Shit. I’m an idiot.

  With his hands on Neil’s shoulders, he stared up into his eyes. “Why don’t you sit where you normally sit, buddy? I’ll sit on your right.” He offered him a smile. “Like you said, we’ll take turns.”

  “Really?”

  He reached for Neil’s hand and gently squeezed. “Really.”

  Tears rolled down Neil’s cheeks. “This isn’t fair to you. You’re supposed to be marrying her. You love her.”

  “This isn’t fair to any of the three of us, but it is what it is.” Dex squeezed again. “You’re my husband, I’m your husband. We’ve got each other, and we’ll take care of her and each other. Okay?”

  Neil nodded and brushed at his eyes with his other hand.

  They finally took their seats and Dex wondered if he’d even be enough to help Neil find some level of healing he could live with.

  And if so, how long it would take.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Dex was packing to head to work. Two weeks back on the job, and he was still trying to find his center. His pain levels were decreasing, and he made use of the exercise room at the station to keep building his stamina.

  After opening his dresser drawer, he stared at the jeweler’s box sitting there, holding his and Tamsin’s rings, as well as her day collar. Her engagement ring also rested in there for safety. Fortunately, it hadn’t been lost, thanks to Wade’s quick thinking.

  His and hers wedding bands. A matching pair. He’d let her pick the pattern because he honestly hadn’t cared what it looked like, as long as she was happy with it. He usually couldn’t risk wearing his at work anyway and had planned to get a stainless steel chain to put it on to wear around his neck for safekeeping.

  Finally, unable to help it, he reached out and plucked the box from where it rested and opened it. The day they’d picked them out was indelibly etched in his brain. They still hadn’t set a date yet when they’d purchased them, but he’d wanted it done and out of the way so he’d know what the rest of their wedding budget was. Plus, the jewelers had been having a sale.

  Tamsin hadn’t picked an expensive set, but they were pretty, gold with a scrollwork design etched on them. She’d been happy with them.

  That had been all that mattered to him.

  He slipped his wedding band on, sadness hitting him. One month married tomorrow, and he knew he loved Neil. Not just loved him.

  Was in love with him.

  He would spend the rest of his life with Neil. This he knew with quiet certainty.

  And it wasn’t only because their Tamsin was gone and he wasn’t able to leave her or move on because of his love for her.

  No, it wasn’t something that he likely would have discovered before the accident, but the circumstances had led him here, and he was done trying to convince himself this was temporary.

  This was life. Their life.

  The only life they got. A damned short one, too.

  He’d be damned if he would waste another minute of it or not make use of every fricking second he was blessed with.

  Neil was a good man, a loving man.

  A man he knew was convinced that he loved Dex more than Dex loved him.

  A couple of weeks ago, Dex might have agreed with him.

  But not now. Now, Dex knew this was far more than a marriage of convenience.

  This was true love, and Neil deserved to have every bit of him, his body and his heart, not just a piece of paper giving them certain legal rights.

  If their positions were reversed, and it was him in the bed and Tamsin in his place and marrying Neil, or anyone else, he knew he would never begrudge her that. Life was hard in the best of times.

  Trying to survive something like they were currently going through alone was cruel.

  He’d never want her to be unhappy or alone.

  And Tamsin loved Neil. Trusted him. In many ways, Dex knew he owed her to take care of Neil as much as Neil was taking care of Tamsin.

  And taking care of him.

  Leaving Tamsin’s engagement ring and day collar behind in his drawer, he removed his wedding band, put it back in the ring box, and tucked that into his pocket. After saying good-bye to Tamsin and the nurse, he headed out for work, even though it was still really early.

  He had an errand to run first.

  When he finished his shift the next day and was on his way home, he made another stop before he returned home, by the same place, to pick something up. They’d called him that morning to notify him it’d come in.

  When he returned home, it was late in the afternoon, and Neil wasn’t home yet.

  Once he said hi to Tamsin, he grabbed a shower and got dinner started. Neil arrived home a little after six, and Dex stood in the kitchen doorway and watched, his heart twisting as Neil first walked into the living room to lean in and say hi to Tamsin, kiss her forehead. Smooth her hair back from her face. Talk to the nurse.

  Much in the same way he himself had not too long before.

  Neil walked over and offered him a tired smile and leaned in for a kiss, the most natural thing in the world now.

  “Hey, Princess.” he whispered.

  “Hey, Prince.” Dexter took his hand. “Come here. I have something for you.”

  “What?”

  Dex led him down the hall to Neil’s bedroom—their bedroom. Even though Dex still kept his clothes in the other bedroom, he never slept there. When he wasn’t working, he always slept with Neil, in his bed.

  Their bed.

  Ever since that first night together.

  Even if it was in the daytime and Neil wasn’t home. In those times, it wasn’t uncommon for him to take Neil’s pillow and hold it in his arms, inhaling the man’s comforting scent.

  Dex had left the jeweler’s box on the bedside table, and after closing the bedroom door behind them, he walked over to the table and picked the box up.

  Then he turned and dropped down on one knee in front of Neil.

  “What are you doing?” Neil asked.

  “What I should have done the first time, except I still sort of had my head up my ass.” He opened the jeweler’s box and took out a wedding band, the new one, a match to his, only one size smaller to account
for Neil’s thinner fingers.

  “I love you. What we have isn’t just convenience for me.” Dex took Neil’s left hand in his and slipped the band on his finger. “Thank you for marrying me. I love you, I’m in love with you, and that’s something I should have made sure I said to you long before now.”

  The ring was a perfect fit.

  Neil dropped to his knees in front of Dex, tears in his eyes. “I love you, too. But I didn’t get you a ring.”

  Dex smiled and held up the box. “You can use this one.” His smile faded. “Then let’s put hers on her together.”

  Dex didn’t miss how Neil’s hands trembled as he took the ring and slipped it onto Dex’s finger. Then Neil cupped the back of Dex’s neck and kissed him.

  “I love you so much. Thank you for not giving up on her.”

  “Never.” Dex wrapped his arms around Neil. “You’re stuck with me, you damn Dom. For life.”

  Neil rested his forehead against Dex’s. “If…if. Or, when. I don’t expect you to have to stay with me…after.”

  “Just try getting rid of me. I don’t let any old guy call me Princess and fuck my ass. Takes a very special kind of guy to get me to keep wanting to live.”

  * * * *

  Neil felt like he couldn’t breathe. The ring had already warmed to his flesh and he wouldn’t deny feeling more than a few wistful pangs the past few weeks over the course of adding Dex to all his insurance and stuff at work, as well as completing paperwork with Ed.

  No ring to prove it.

  Nothing to show the world Dex was his husband, except a piece of paper.

  Wondering if Dex was doing this only because it was the logical thing, or because he really felt more for Neil.

  Until now.

  “Not many guys I’d bend over for and bottom to, either,” Neil said.

  “You know, today’s our one-month anniversary.”

  Neil blinked away tears. He’d thought about that all day, debating whether or not to say anything. “Yeah.”

  Dex stood and pulled Neil to his feet. He wore that playful smile that had always turned Neil’s crank ever since he’d accepted him as Tamsin’s boyfriend and stopped wanting to make him disappear.