Resilience Read online

  “I made the mistake of coming out to her and my two sons after I was widowed, so they wouldn’t be shocked if I dated men. She disowned me. They all did. So if that’s a problem for you, I want you to know now, before they go telling you anyway. And they will tell you, because apparently they don’t want me to be happy. They take it upon themselves to inform anyone they think I might be interested in, whether I’m just friends with them or not, that they’ll make life hell for them if they continue to associate with me. Done a damn good job of running most my friends off. I’ve been thinking about moving away.”

  Bingo.

  Andrew leaned in closer. “Can I let you in on a little secret?” He didn’t expect an answer, but by Colin’s expression, Andrew could tell this whole conversation was throwing him for a loop, and that Colin did want to hear what Andrew had to say. “My family knows I’m bi and accepts me fully. Especially since my son, his husband, and their wife have lived happily together for several decades now.”

  Colin’s eyes widened. “Oh!” A soft gasp of recognition. And that was all.

  Everyone on the football team knew about Mikey’s family, and Colin had likely heard hints of the story as well. Perhaps that had jolted his memory regarding their unusual living arrangement.

  God help anyone who tried to give Mikey a hard time about it, too, because he never hesitated to defend his parents. It’d landed him in the principal’s office a few times his freshman year, when older kids on the football team tried to pick fights with him. Once they realized that Mikey could back his words with action, he was left alone.

  Especially when they found out one of his dads had shot and killed a man who’d attacked them, and was a famous novelist, to boot. Adam hadn’t had similar issues since he hadn’t played any sports in high school.

  Andrew arched an eyebrow, smiling. “Would you like to come sit with me and watch the game with my family? We’d be happy to have you join us. Perhaps you can help me finally understand this game?”

  He watched the man’s throat work as he swallowed, his eyes still wide as he stared at Andrew.

  Finally, Colin nodded.

  Andrew breathed a sigh of relief. “Aces. Follow me.”

  * * * *

  Nevvie did a quick double-take when she realized Andrew was returning with someone, but other than smiling at Colin when Andrew introduced him to everyone, that was her only reaction as they settled in to watch the game and Nevvie’s focus returned to the field. Considering she was also busy filming it to post on Facebook, her attention was divided.

  Amused, Andrew noticed that Colin’s family had been too engrossed in a play to see Andrew walking off with him. From where Susan and her family sat, there were enough people between them it now would be nearly impossible for them to spot Colin seated with Andrew. His daughter had noticed he was missing, glanced around, and seemed to relax, apparently thinking he’d left.

  Andrew also used the pretense of needing to lean in to hear him explain plays so he could place his hand on Colin’s thigh.

  Eventually, the man rested his hand on Andrew’s hand, not holding on, but not pushing Andrew’s hand away, either.

  Hesitant.

  Tentative.

  Hopeful.

  The game was nearly over when Andrew posed the question. “We’re going out to eat after the game. I would greatly appreciate it if you’d let me buy you dinner, or at the very least a cup of coffee.”

  He stared into Colin’s eyes when he said it, watching.

  Waiting.

  Hoping.

  Another nervous swallow, and it was as if Colin’s head started nodding before his brain realized what he was doing. “Sure,” he quietly said. “I’d like that.”

  Andrew smiled. “Aces.”

  Once the game ended—they’d won, fortunately—Andrew made sure to exchange phone numbers with Colin, in case they got separated. He told him the restaurant they were going to, and actually walked Colin to his car.

  Not that he physically could have been much help if someone wanted to try to cause trouble for the man, but safety in numbers.

  Nevvie and the kids caught up a few minutes later, while the two of them were still standing there talking. She tipped her head to the side, a sudden smirk filling her face before she carefully schooled her expression back to a friendly smile.

  “Dad, did you want to ride with Colin and meet us there? That way he won’t get lost.”

  I love that woman! “Actually, that’s a lovely idea. If it’s all right with Colin?”

  Colin slowly nodded, as if he couldn’t believe Andrew was asking him. “Sure. Yeah. That’d be fine.”

  Andrew waited until they were safely inside the car to make his blunt point. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned life is bloody short. Too short. Will you allow me to cook you dinner tomorrow night at my home? Unfortunately, we won’t be alone, but I can assure you my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter would love to meet you.”

  “What are you doing, Andrew?” Colin asked.

  “I’m asking you out on a date. In a manner of speaking.”

  “A…date?”

  “Yes.” He reached over and placed his hand on Colin’s thigh again. “A date. Because I’m not interested in playing games or being coy, and we’re both at an age where I think we can agree every day now counts more than it ever has before.” Colin was nodding, but Andrew wasn’t sure over which part. “So is that a yes?”

  “Yes,” Colin whispered.

  Andrew smiled. “Have you ever actually dated a man?”

  He started to shake his head, then looked away. “I tried, a couple of times. Lost my nerve. Nothing more than dinner or coffee. Or Susan ran them off.”

  Andrew reached out and cupped Colin’s cheek with his hand and turned his face toward his. “No one in my family will give you any grief. In fact, I suspect they’ll be trying rather hard to play matchmaker for us, if I know them.”

  “What?”

  “Because they want me to be happy.” He smiled as he patted Colin’s thigh again before sitting back and buckling his seat belt. “Fair warning, they do so love to throw a good Southern wedding.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Once they reached the restaurant, Andrew made sure to seat Colin between him and Nevvie, who’d already caught on. Bless her heart, as they said, she went easy on Colin, trying not to spook him. No friendly teasing at all about love in the air, as if sensing Colin felt very nervous.

  Terrified was more like it.

  Even Adam, who sat across the table from Andrew and Colin, seemed to pick up on the situation. It didn’t hurt that Adam looked nearly identical to Tyler, and Tyler looked quite strikingly like himself, even if Adam did have Tom’s Southern drawl from growing up in Savannah.

  “What did you do for a living, Mr. Dawson?” Adam asked.

  “When I retired, I was a drainage engineer for the waste- and stormwater district.”

  “That’s interesting,” Adam said. “Mikey’s going to study to be an engineer. One of our dads is an architect.”

  “Thomas,” Andrew added for Colin’s sake. “He and Tyler are overseas handling some business. A friend of Tyler’s passed away, and they were bequeathed the estate.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  “You know, we usually have a family dinner at my house every Wednesday night. Everyone who can come does so. Potluck. I’d love to have you join us next week.”

  Colin’s green eyes stared into his, and Andrew knew it wouldn’t take much to frighten him off. The man was still trying to get used to the fact that not only was Andrew interested in him, but that Andrew’s family was perfectly fine with the situation.

  Even more reason to make sure the girls went easy on Colin.

  I’ll have to make sure I speak with Karen.

  They had a wonderful dinner and perfectly charming conversation. When Andrew found out Colin didn’t live far from them, and in fact practically had to pass their house to get home, he played dirt
y again.

  “I don’t suppose you’d mind driving me home, would you?” Andrew asked. “That way you’ll know where I live for tomorrow.”

  Colin nodded, finally smiling. “I can do that.”

  Andrew grinned, feeling light in a way he hadn’t in too long. “Brilliant!”

  They’d have a forty-five-minute ride together. Nevvie and the other kids weren’t ready to leave yet, so Andrew and Colin went on ahead.

  As Colin started his car, he stared at Andrew. “I can’t believe you hit on me.”

  “Are you complaining, love?”

  Colin smiled, and it looked playful, boyish. “That’s not what I said.”

  “I’ve learned to accept the good things in my life when they cross my path and not question them too closely. Perhaps this won’t lead to anything. Perhaps we’ll end up nothing more than friends. But I can always use more friends, and, quite frankly, I would love a chance to see if we could be more.”

  “Don’t be shocked if Susan finds out and tries to talk to you.”

  “She shall find herself less than pleased to talk with me, I can assure you.”

  On the ride to Andrew’s, he drew Colin out, finding out more about him, about his marriage, his life. He’d loved his wife, Camille, but felt trapped by circumstances. He’d never admitted to her what he’d felt, wanting to raise his children and take care of her when she’d developed early onset Alzheimer’s.

  Now that he was free, his children had decided he shouldn’t have the life he wanted because they didn’t agree with him being gay and couldn’t accept that his life had been a lie.

  Once Colin finally pulled into Andrew’s yard and parked, Andrew didn’t want to let him leave. Andrew quickly texted Nevvie that he was safely home, with Colin, and asked for no interruptions through tomorrow afternoon.

  She replied with a thumbs-up icon and a winking smiley face.

  “You know, I’m alone tonight until tomorrow evening. Is there any reason you must go home tonight? Could you at least come in for a while, to talk some more? Or perhaps a nightcap?”

  Colin stared at him in the dim light cast into the car from the security lamp at the edge of the yard. His lips parted and Andrew wanted to lean in and kiss him—so he did.

  When Andrew sat back, Colin swallowed hard, then nodded.

  “Then let’s go inside, shall we?”

  Colin nodded again.

  Andrew had an ulterior motive for inviting Colin to stay. It meant a night at home where it wasn’t so quiet he could hear echoes of his memories, mostly the best, but one that was the worst memory of his life.

  Built by Adam, Tom’s father, this house had seen three generations of love with the Kinsey family, and might soon see a fourth generation.

  It had witnessed love and grief, death and birth, celebrations and loneliness.

  It was now “his” even though it belonged as much to the family in his heart as it did him.

  Wasn’t it now time for him to move forward? Not like he had much time left in his life.

  Andrew led him up the stairs and inside, locking them in after resetting the alarm. Colin stood just at Andrew’s height, around five seven, although slimmer in build. His green eyes looked full of a mix of hope and fear.

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  Colin nervously nodded.

  Andrew curled his fingers around Colin’s hand and led him to the kitchen. From a high cabinet he took down a bottle of bourbon and grabbed two small water glasses, pouring them each enough, just a little liquid courage.

  Then Andrew held up his glass, smiling. “To hope.”

  Colin clinked glasses with him. “To hope.”

  They both threw back the alcohol, Andrew gasping at how it burned all the way down. It’d been a long time since he’d had anything hard like that, and he’d forgotten the fire it traced from mouth to gullet.

  But it didn’t stop him from leaning in and cupping a hand behind Colin’s head and kissing him, hard. Andrew tasted the liquor on Colin’s lips, which parted for him when he pressed.

  Colin’s initial surprise soon turned into confidence, eagerly kissing Andrew back. Andrew had first thought to take him to the living room, to sit on the couch and talk.

  Truly, he had.

  But a moment later, he was leading Colin to his bedroom, locking the door behind them just in case they overslept and Karen and Bill came home sooner than expected.

  Wouldn’t do for them to be interrupted like that by Chloe.

  Andrew sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Colin in close. Maybe in his youth this would have been reckless and dangerous.

  At this point in his life, Andrew was going to try to continue living as much as he could. He didn’t care there was a ten-year age gap between them. There’d been an age gap between him and Peggy, too, her to the elder.

  Happiness at any age was a gift he could bestow to his family, demonstrating it.

  Living it.

  He smiled up at Colin and started tugging the man’s shirttails free from his khakis. “Ten years widowed, and all that time spent alone, hmm?”

  “Yeah. Pretty much.”

  “Let’s see what we can do about that, shall we?”

  They weren’t spring chickens, as Peggy would have said. He also knew from talks he’d had with her during their time together that she would have been happy for him meeting someone. Although he’d selfishly hoped it’d be him passing before her. She’d survived great loss before.

  He nearly hadn’t. Not even with the love of his family surrounding him.

  Colin helped Andrew get his T-shirt off and before long, they were naked. Andrew still sat on the edge of the bed, which made it easy for him to reach Colin’s cock with his mouth.

  And that was exactly what he proceeded to do.

  It’d been decades since he’d been with a man, but that didn’t matter. This man had drawn him in immediately, in the same way Peggy had. Andrew didn’t believe much in mystical things, but perhaps this was Fate laying her fickle finger on him once more in a good way.

  Colin held on to Andrew’s shoulders and let out a soft moan, his cock hardening in Andrew’s mouth as he sucked him. At least seven inches and ample, cut, nothing to be ashamed of. Andrew took his time, wanting this to last, knowing they would likely only get the one chance tonight before age and exhaustion took them.

  With one hand, Andrew cradled Colin’s balls in his palm, playing with them. The other he cupped around Colin’s bum, holding him in place as he built up the man’s release. Whatever else happened, he wanted this man’s first time with a man to be a good one, even if they didn’t last beyond this night.

  He wanted to know he’d brought someone pleasure, made a slight difference.

  Did something good.

  It didn’t take long for him to feel Colin’s cock grow even harder, his body stiffening as he gasped, followed by Andrew’s mouth filling with the taste of him. Hot cum, a long, sweet moan, Colin’s grip on his shoulders tightening before relaxing.

  Andrew released him, smiling up at him. “And that, love, is how you properly suck a cock.”

  In the bedroom’s dim light, Andrew couldn’t clearly see Colin’s expression. Then Colin leaned in again and kissed him, hungrily.

  “Can I…”

  Colin didn’t finish.

  “Be my guest, pet.”

  Andrew spread his thighs as Colin sank to his knees, staring wide-eyed at Andrew’s cock, which had perked up quite a bit over all the ruckus, thank you very much.

  Andrew reached out and stroked Colin’s hair, gently, not pulling or forcing. He wanted him to do it because he wanted to, not because Andrew made him

  Tentatively, Colin leaned in and took Andrew’s cock in his hand. The feel of Colin’s warm, soft flesh made Andrew draw in a sharp hiss of pleasure. “That’s it. Take your time. We have all the time in the world tonight.”

  Colin seemed fascinated by the fact that Andrew had a foreskin, and it amused Andrew
when Colin played with it for a moment, exploring, before he finally bent his head and licked the tip.

  “That’s it.” Andrew’s hands stilled, one on his shoulder, the other on Colin’s head, his fingers tangled in the man’s hair.

  Colin’s confidence grew, and while perhaps his oral talents weren’t the best, it didn’t take him long to coax an orgasm out of Andrew.

  “Beautifully done, love,” he whispered, his arms circling Colin, leaning on him as he recovered. “Climb up here and let’s cuddle, shall we?”

  He had to help Colin up off the floor, but a moment later they were snuggled in bed together, Colin on the right—the same side Peggy had slept on.

  It felt perfect holding him and being held by him.

  Andrew pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Stay the night. Please?”

  Colin didn’t answer at first. He pressed his face against the side of Andrew’s neck and inhaled deeply. “You sure?”

  “Bloody hell, man. If I have my way, I won’t let you out of my sight, much less out of my bed.”

  He tipped his head back and stared into Andrew’s eyes. “They won’t hate me for this?”

  “Who?”

  “Your kids?”

  Andrew brushed his thumb over Colin’s lips. “Never. They’ll be happy for us. I’m not asking you for forever tonight, only to give it long enough for whatever this is to have a chance to grow. Tomorrow night, plan to spend the night. In fact. I’ll make you cinnamon rolls for breakfast in the morning, then I’ll run home with you, just to make sure you can’t escape me.”

  He hoped Colin took that last part in the teasing way he’d meant it.

  Colin nodded, kissing Andrew’s thumb. “Yes, please.”

  For the first time in nearly five years, Andrew went to sleep with a smile on his face.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Early Saturday afternoon, Tom and Tyler curled up on the couch and watched Mikey’s football game on Tyler’s laptop via Facebook, where Nevvie has posted it as a live video hours earlier.

  It wasn’t as good as being at home, all of them together, as a family.