Resilience Read online

  “Can you believe we made great kids?” Tom joked. “I still wonder how we managed that. I wish we weren’t missing Adam’s visit. I’m still not used to him being away all the time. Sucks not having him home.”

  “Sorry, love.”

  “Naw, I didn’t mean it like that. Stop.” Tyler’s mood had seemed a little lighter that morning. Tom had actually caught him humming while cooking breakfast, fewer scowls and lines furrowing his handsome face than during the past couple of days.

  That afternoon in Haslam’s, when he first saw Ty in the flesh, would never leave Tom’s mind. All these years later, Tom still felt desperately in love with the man and couldn’t understand what Ty saw in him. Ty or Nevvie.

  He didn’t seriously question it, though, because he knew they loved him as much as he loved them.

  “I wonder who that man is next to Dad?” Tyler mused. He’d appeared not long into the first quarter, after Dad had gotten up and left for a few minutes. An older gentleman who appeared to be rooting for the same team Mikey played on.

  Tom shrugged. “I dunno. Never saw him before. Friend, maybe?”

  “Perhaps.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. It’s simply…unusual. You know me and my little…instincts.”

  Tom’s attention perked up. Yes, instincts that had literally saved his life, and had saved Nevvie’s life twice. “Unusual bad?”

  “No. Perhaps not. Likely not.”

  There were also pictures of the man with them later, during dinner at the restaurant, sitting between Dad and Nevvie. Tyler had shown them to Tommy when he pulled them up on Facebook on his tablet.

  “So he’s a friend of Dad’s,” Tom said. “That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he knows him through Mom’s church or something. He didn’t go with her very often, but they socialized with people and he’s still got friends who go.”

  “Hmm. Perhaps.”

  “What? I know that tone, Evil Genius.”

  “There’s just…it’s nothing. I’m probably wrong.”

  “What? Ty, for god’s sake, just say it.”

  “Well…I don’t know. It simply seems that he is paying a lot of attention to Dad. And Dad is certainly paying attention to him.”

  “Like how?”

  Tyler reached over and hit the pause button on the video window and pointed. Nevvie had caught the two men in the frame as she panned down the field to follow the play.

  Andrew’s hand rested on the man’s thigh, the other man’s hand covering it.

  “Like that,” Tyler said.

  Tom sat up and looked more closely. Then he giggled. “Holy shit. Dad’s got a boyfriend?”

  “Perhaps.” Tyler finally smiled. “We can only hope. I honestly thought he might spend the rest of his life alone, and that truly saddened me.”

  Tom still stared at the image on the screen. “Maybe we’re jumping to conclusions.”

  “If we aren’t, is it a bad thing?”

  “No! I hope it is that. I’ll be happy for him. I just want to make sure the guy’s right for him, that’s all. Not some…gold-digger.”

  * * * *

  Tyler thought Tom was being ridiculously adorable. Tyler was already absolutely convinced he was correct, and that the two older men were a romantic item. He could tell from their body language they were, at the very least, interested in each other as more than simply friends.

  How much of my family’s life, exactly, have I missed?

  It’d been the better part of a month since he’d seen his father, or any of his family, other than Tom and Nev.

  “I’m sure it’s all right, love. Don’t scare him away. We might be misreading the situation.”

  Tyler was going to say something else when his phone rang.

  Crystal.

  He groaned and considered letting it go to voice mail, except that would be delaying the inevitable. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Mr. Paulson! Sorry to call you so early on a Saturday. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

  “No, I—”

  “Oh, good. I just wanted to call and check in with you about that e-mail I sent you earlier this week. Did you have a chance to go over the figures yet? I’d like to discuss our social media strategy for next week.”

  Blast.

  Tyler leaned back against the couch and rubbed at his forehead. “My apologies, Crystal, but no. I’m afraid I am out of town right now.”

  She sounded a little taken aback, for some reason. “Oh. I thought you were back in Georgia?”

  “No. An unexpected side journey came up, and I am not in Georgia. It will be at least another week, perhaps longer, before I am home again and can deal with that.”

  “Oh. Well, if you have a few minutes to talk right now, I could go over the summaries with you, and—”

  “I’m afraid now is not a good time. I need you to call Nevvie and speak with her about this. Deal directly with her, please.”

  Another hesitation. “I just want to make sure we leverage your release numbers so we can maximize the sales spike your backlist catalog is having right now. Your Amazon rankings have shot up, and—”

  “An old friend of mine died. I am currently in Brussels. I’m not even in the United States. I’m sorry to be so short with you, my dear, but frankly, I’m dealing with handling his estate, and I’m not in the mood to talk social media or rankings or anything else right now. Nevvie will assist you in dealing with this. I prefer you deal with her.”

  “Oh. I-I’m sorry.” Now Tyler felt guilty for being so short with her. Tom was watching him, too, a curious look on his face. “I didn’t mean to bother you, Mr. Paulson.”

  Tyler eased back on his tone. “You’re not bothering me, but this is a stressful trip, and I honestly don’t know when I’m going to return to the States. I’m also trying to work on this edit round and get it returned, on top of everything else. My plate, as they say, is full.”

  “You know, there’s a large bookstore in Brussels. I could—”

  “No. I’m sorry, dear, but I must insist. Now, please run those figures through Nevvie, and she will make social media postings on my behalf. She usually handles them anyway. For the immediate future, she will be your liaison. Thank you.” He hung up on her.

  Tom scowled. “Crystal?”

  “Yes.” He dropped his phone onto the couch. “She’s like a bloody honey badger. Once she sinks her teeth into something, you practically have to smack her with a shovel to get her to release it.”

  “She pulls that shit with Nevvie, she’ll end up fired. Nevvie will call Elliot and blast him.”

  “I know I should have more patience with the girl, but she truly doesn’t seem to know when to take a hint sometimes.” He pointed at the laptop. “Let’s finish watching the game.” He snuggled against Tom, but now he felt…distracted.

  Perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps Crystal was an overeager young woman fresh out of college and with boundless energy, trying to make a good impression at her first big job dealing with a well-known author.

  And perhaps my nerves are shot and I’m not a very good judge of anything at this moment.

  * * * *

  Andrew awoke with the grey light of dawn beginning its inexorable struggle through the blinds.

  Colin’s comforting warmth pressed against him, with his arm draped over Andrew, made Andrew smile and settle in again. Normally, he’d be up and moving as soon as he awoke, because lying in bed too long led him to think about Peggy.

  And then his tears would start.

  Not this morning, though.

  He nuzzled his head against Colin’s, contented to remain where he was and just…breathe.

  Andrew wasn’t silly enough to imagine this was a sure thing. Definitely more a pragmatic kind of chap, he was happy for the temporary distraction, if that’s all this proved to be.

  Hopefully more.

  We’ll see.

  It was less than an hour later when he heard Colin’s sharp gasp of breath, the slight sta
rtle reflex as he recognized he wasn’t in his own bed.

  Likely as he remembered what they’d done the night before.

  Andrew nuzzled the top of his head again, pressing a kiss there. “Good morning, love.”

  Colin lifted his head and stared down at him with wide eyes.

  Beautiful green eyes.

  Damn everything else. Andrew reached up, grabbed him by the head, and pulled him in for a hard, deep kiss.

  Colin’s body went rigid for a moment, as if he were thinking about drawing back. Then he got into the kiss, returning it, his cock stiffening against Andrew’s side from the way he lay pressed there.

  Only then did Andrew relax his grip on the other man’s head, now stroking his hair, teasing him, making love to him.

  So much to teach him, if he’ll let me.

  “You’ll stay tonight, love,” Andrew softly said. “And every night after, if I can convince you of it.” Either Colin would or wouldn’t let Andrew lead him through this.

  Apparently, that was exactly what Colin wanted. He nuzzled his face against Andrew’s hand. “I gotta warn you now, when my family finds out, they’re gonna come after you.”

  “This isn’t the Wild West. Whatever are they going to do? Stand at the edge of my driveway and hurl taunts at me? Call me and ask if I have Prince Albert in a can? Ask if my refrigerator’s running and, if so, tell me to go catch it?”

  Colin stared at Andrew as if he’d just spoken another language.

  “I’m serious,” Andrew said. “I am retired. My family honestly doesn’t care what type of relationship I’m in, as long as it’s a kind and loving one. What hold could anyone in your family possibly have over me? And what business is it of theirs if we see each other? You said they disowned you. Well, now they can all piss off. As Peggy’s children adopted me when we met, so shall they adopt you.”

  Andrew left out the story about Emily. That could wait for a while.

  Perhaps forever, if he could delay the telling.

  Colin swallowed hard. “They’re all I have.”

  “And right now, it sounds like you don’t even have them.”

  Colin finally shook his head.

  “I know you’re scared, love. But what are you scared of?”

  Colin thought that over for several long moments. “I don’t know anymore,” he admitted. “I thought maybe one day I could…I don’t know.” His gaze searched Andrew’s face. After another long moment, he leaned in and kissed Andrew, hard, deep.

  Desperately.

  When Colin started to work his way down Andrew’s body, he didn’t stop the man. After several minutes of Colin exploring Andrew’s cock with his mouth, teasing him, maybe not the best technique but certainly an eager one, Andrew reached down and patted the top of his head.

  “Turn around, love. Let me at you, too.”

  Their older bodies weren’t as flexible as they once were. Colin got turned around and they lay on their sides, Andrew smiling to himself as he licked the tip of Colin’s cock and heard the other man moan.

  “There, that’s better, isn’t it, love?”

  “Yeah.”

  Andrew was able to get Colin off first, then rolled onto his back again while Colin finished him.

  They lay there like that for a long, sweet moment, Andrew’s arm draped over Colin’s hip, Colin’s face pressed against Andrew’s thigh.

  “Does this feel right to you?” Andrew asked.

  “Yeah,” Colin admitted. “It does.”

  He turned his face to lay a trail of kisses along Colin’s flesh. “Then does it truly matter what others think of it if you are finally happy?”

  He nuzzled Andrew’s thigh. “I guess not.”

  Andrew patted Colin’s bum. “Come back up here and cuddle with me. We have nowhere to be except here.”

  Colin did, once again nestling against Andrew.

  I suppose I am the Top by default.

  That was fine with him. He had no problem fulfilling that role.

  “So you will stay tonight?” Andrew tried to phrase it as a question, but hoped Colin took it more as a command.

  “What if your daughter and her husband object?”

  “Why should they? It’s my home. Not that they will object, but if they did, I’d simply tell them they could get the bloody hell out.”

  “What about your granddaughter? Isn’t she young?”

  “For starters, we’re not about to do anything untoward in front of her. She has her uncles Tommy and Ty, and their aunt Nevvie. Children are, by far, the easiest to explain things to and the most adaptable, believe me. None of the cousins object. Ty and Tommy were together over a decade before they met Nevvie. All of Tom’s sisters are quite used to this situation. My other two children live in the UK and honestly don’t care about anything but that their brother is happy. And he is.”

  “I thought I raised my kids better than this,” Colin quietly admitted. “I thought I’d taught them over the years to be accepting of people.”

  “Because you always knew about yourself.”

  He nodded. “I loved my wife, don’t get me wrong. But…maybe I didn’t do right by her after all, like I thought I did. Maybe she would have been happier with a different guy who could have been…more.”

  “If you loved her and were true to her, I’m sure she was happy. And you cannot fault yourself for your children’s views. They are adults and able to form their own opinions.”

  Colin snuggled more tightly against him. “Promise me this gets easier.”

  Andrew sighed, happy, knowing that, for now, this little slice of heaven would continue. “It does, love. I swear it.” He stroked Colin’s hair, reveling in the simple joy of once again having intimate human contact.

  Giving the other man what Andrew knew he’d lacked for far too long.

  They ended up taking a shower together, tenderly washing each other, kissing, touching. Colin was starved for human contact, not simply sex. When they finished, Tyler led him to the kitchen and showed him how to make Peggy’s famous homemade cinnamon roll recipe.

  “My wife was something of a legend in this family for her cooking,” Andrew said as he slid the pan into the oven. “It was how she bound her family together. We still have Wednesday night dinners.”

  “You said.”

  “Lots of fond memories made around that dining room table.” He pulled Colin to him and held him close. “Lots more to be made.”

  Colin started to respond, but his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his back pocket, scowling before he answered.

  “Hello? … Oh, no, I’m fine. I spent the night at a friend’s house after the game because they rode with me. … Yes, everything’s fine. Thank you for calling.” He stared at his phone after he hung up.

  “Yes?”

  “My neighbor across the street. He was checking on me since he didn’t see my car come home.” He slipped it into his pocket. “Guess I should be glad he didn’t call Susan.”

  “Susan?”

  “My daughter. Last night. Steven’s mom.”

  “Do you have any contact with your grandson?”

  Colin nodded. “He started driving a couple of months ago, and I bought him a car. He comes by nearly every day on his way home from school. He begged me to come to the game last night. I couldn’t tell him no.”

  “It sounds like not all of your family is closed-minded, then.”

  “I don’t know if he knows why his mother is like that toward me, though. Or his uncles.”

  “You have three children?”

  “Yeah. Susan’s the oldest. Then Brad and Conner.”

  “Your grandson is what, seventeen? Eighteen?”

  “He’ll be eighteen in a couple of weeks.”

  “It sounds like he’s trying to stay in touch with you. He’s not stupid at that age. He likely knows what’s going on and doesn’t care, but is trying not to let his mother know.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t want to cause him trouble with he
r. Or lose what little contact I do have with him.”

  Andrew was more interested in watching Colin eat, enjoying the feeling of smiling again in the morning and not simply pasting on an expression he knew might fool his family during their harried morning routine until he had the house to himself again for the rest of the day.

  Colin blushed. “You’re looking at me.”

  “I’m sorry. Does that bother you?”

  “N-no.” He stared down at his plate for a moment. “It’s…” He sighed, then finally seemed to force himself to meet Andrew’s gaze again. “No one’s ever looked at me like that before.”

  “Like what, love?”

  Colin swallowed. “Like that. Like…love. You don’t even know me.”

  “I know I sensed something in you. A kindred soul. I was correct, was I not?”

  Colin nodded.

  Andrew laid a hand over Colin’s, his thumb stroking the back of Colin’s hand. “I’m not asking you to marry me today. I’m simply asking you to trust me. Let us enjoy this time together and give ourselves the freedom to see where it might lead.”

  Colin stared at their hands for a long, quiet moment before he moved his thumb, stroking Andrew’s. “Okay,” he whispered, as if afraid even admitting it would bring some unseen hand to strike him down. Finally, a soft laugh escaped him. “Wouldn’t this make me a slut? Sleeping with a guy on a first date? The night we met?”

  Andrew squeezed his hand. “At this point in our lives, we have earned the right to take capricious acts of courage, if we choose. Perhaps this goes forward. Perhaps we decide next week to part friends. Either way, you now have an answer you were never certain of before, don’t you?”

  Colin’s gaze focused on his. “Why is it you can read my mind?”

  Andrew smiled. “Because after I divorced my first wife—dreadful woman, I must say—I doubted nearly every breath I took until I finally found the courage to pursue a relationship with a man. We lasted several months, then he had to move for work. I knew then that I had to do what was best. I spent, by necessity, many years alone, having the occasional dalliance with men and women. Eventually, life passed me by.

  “Then Nevvie found me. Tracked me down. Blasted brilliant woman, she is. She’d suspected my ex-wife’s story was complete bollocks and engineered a reunion between myself and Tyler. They asked me to move to the States—and I did. I met Tom’s mother, Peggy, and fell in love with her.”