Reconsider Me Read online

  “Mom. I’m okay. They just want to check me out.” He was still crying, but at least he had stopped trembling during the ride, and while still dangerously elevated, his pulse and blood pressure were starting to head back into normal territories.

  In fact, as Ivy sat on Fen’s other side and waited with Joel in the ER cubicle, she couldn’t quit stroking his hair, holding his hand.

  Asking him if he was okay.

  A doctor came in and talked to Fen, then ordered a mild tranquilizer for him, only one dose, to help get his stats back into normal range. They gave him a pill, and less than twenty minutes later, Fen took a deep breath and let it out again.

  Joel kissed his left hand, which he’d been holding. “Feeling a little better?”

  “Yeah.” His eyes teared up again, but at least he seemed calmer, and the beeps on the monitor over his bed were getting steadier. “I’m sorry. I wanted to surprise you.”

  Joel couldn’t help it—he burst out laughing. “Well, you did that, baby.”

  Even Ivy managed a snort over that as Fen smiled.

  “I meant dinner. I wanted to make your mom’s chicken and fried green tomatoes for you.”

  Joel leaned in and kissed him. “Well, good thing you did. That saved your life. What if he’d grabbed that knife?”

  “I wasn’t thinking.”

  “What about the woman?”

  Fen scowled. “Huh?”

  “Your dad said you heard a woman when you spotted Johnny coming after you.”

  “Oh. I don’t think she was with Johnny. I think it was my ghost.”

  Joel and Ivy’s gazes locked as Joel spoke to Fen. “Your…ghost?”

  “Yeah. I think I have a ghost in the apartment. She told me to run when I saw Johnny. I kind of locked up, seeing him there. I froze. Like I wasn’t processing. Then she told me to run.”

  He’d stopped crying—again—and now sounded almost…chipper.

  Ivy pressed her lips together for a moment before speaking. “You think you have a ghost in your apartment?”

  “Yeah. You know how I’ve always told you stuff moves around.”

  Joel wanted to get Fen off that topic, because it truly made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. “I think Johnny might have followed us back from Alabama,” he said. “Remember you told me about that car you kept seeing?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Fen smiled, nodding, and Joel realized he was deep in the grip of whatever they’d given him to calm him down. At least that had worked. From the look of the monitors, all the readings were back in the range the nurses had told them they wanted to see them hit.

  Then Fen frowned again. “Bastard. Ruined a perfectly good meal. Did anyone turn off my stove? What about the stereo? I hope it didn’t embarrass Dad that his friends heard me playing Mama Mia! so loooud.”

  Fen dropped his voice to a whisper a deaf statue could have heard. “I like to sing to Broadway shows—SHHHH!” He brought up his left hand, which Joel was still holding, and pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell anyone!”

  Ivy’s giggles set Joel off, and before long, they were both laughing while Fen laid his head back and smiled. The nurses had re-dressed his burns, which were only first-degree, after examining them. Glen and another detective arrived as the ER doctor was preparing to discharge Fen. And Glen had brought Fen’s glasses with him, too.

  So Joel and Ivy stepped out while they questioned Fen. From the raucous laughter filtering through the sliding glass door, Joel was pretty sure Fen was being entertaining, no matter what he said.

  Once the detective had finished taking Fen’s statement, Ivy and Joel were able to rejoin Fen and his dad. They were only waiting for the discharge paperwork now.

  Joel had to know. “Did you tell him about the lady?”

  Fen grinned, but it looked adorable, lopsided and more than a little drunk. “Sure. I said it was probably something off the soundtrack. I did have it cranked pretty loud, after all.”

  He dropped Joel a conspiratorial wink.

  * * * *

  Glen drove Joel and Fen back to Fen’s apartment, Ivy following in her car. Glen told them that the K9 units had tracked Johnny’s trail back to his car, which fit the description of the one that had followed Joel and Fen from Alabama.

  But the dogs didn’t pick up a second scent, only Johnny’s.

  At Fen’s, Glen and Ivy sat with Fen in Joel’s car, refusing to let him move, while Joel went inside the apartment and packed for Fen. Glen had made sure all the windows and doors were shut and locked before coming to the hospital, and he’d already dumped the remains of dinner, emptied the garbage, and had started a load in the dishwasher so there wouldn’t be a foul mess.

  For a long moment, Joel stared at the now squeaky clean section of tile on the kitchen floor where Johnny had met his fate.

  At the hands of his guy.

  His sweet, harmless, gentle…

  Son of a sheriff’s office detective.

  Joel leaned back against the counter, stunned. Maybe Fen had stood a better chance against Johnny than everyone thought. Fen had told him how his dad and George had drilled self-defense tactics into him as a kid so he could stand up for himself.

  How everyone who didn’t know Fen or who hadn’t seen him with his clothes off automatically assumed he was some sort of weak wimp.

  They had no clue about the man’s true strength.

  Forcing himself to get moving, he packed for Fen. Not sure what Fen would want in terms of stuff like bubble bath and body scrub, Joel grabbed a garbage bag and swept everything out of the master bathroom shower and cabinet into it. Next he grabbed the oil diffuser out of the living room, made sure it was empty, and also took a couple of handfuls of bottles of oils, in addition to the small travel caddy of them that Fen kept on the counter.

  For clothes, Joel packed the bare minimum. For starters, Fen wasn’t going to need much until Monday morning, and he could come back and get it for him.

  Secondly, he planned on keeping his guy naked and in bed—resting—until then.

  Finally, he had his trunk loaded down and Fen’s parents followed them back to Joel’s building and helped move all of Fen’s stuff up to Joel’s apartment.

  From the sofa, Fen cocked his head. “Looks like you’re moving me in.”

  Before Joel could answer, Glen did. “I hope to hell so, son. I think this was a sign you need to be out of that apartment. What better place than living with the guy you’re going to marry?”

  Joel’s jaw snapped shut with an audible click as he stared at Glen.

  “The first officers on scene told me he said he needed to call his fiancé.” Glen smiled. “I’m assuming that’s you?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  A giggle burped out of Fen, but he clapped a hand over his mouth.

  Ivy walked over and hugged Joel despite him trying to protest that he stunk from work. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll hug you if I want to.” For good measure, she kissed his cheek. “Welcome to the family. Snoobug loves you, anyway. I knew you were going to last.”

  Fen still held one hand over his mouth, and with the other now wildly pointed at Joel, his eyes wide. “That’s right!” he mumbled behind his hand. “I forgot she loves you! You’re the first guy she’s met who she loved!”

  Glen also hugged him. “Welcome to the family, son. You have our blessings.” He grinned. “We’ll buy you a new skillet for a wedding present.”

  Fen’s eyes watered and he dropped both his hands into his lap. “Your grandmother’s skillet!” He nearly started sobbing again. “I’m sorry!”

  Joel raced to his side to comfort him while Glen and Ivy smiled and headed for the door. “He’s all yours, Joel,” Glen said with a smile. “Text us later and let us know how he’s doing. If I need anything else from him tonight, I’ll call your cell.”

  “Thanks, Glen.”

  The older man turned and pointed at Joel. “That’s Dad to you, son.” Then they let themselves out.

 
He finally got Fen calmed down again. When Joel wanted to put him to bed, Fen instead insisted on taking a shower with Joel.

  Joel finally gave up and let him, knowing the only way he would get his guy horizontal for a while to rest was to give in.

  He was fine with that, even if it wasn’t very “domly.”

  Once he had Fen snuggled in bed to rest for a while before Joel called in a pizza, the TV softly playing, Fen nuzzled his lips next to Joel’s ear.

  “I lied to the cops, Sir.”

  Joel smiled, kissing his forehead. “I know, baby. It’s okay.” And frankly, he didn’t care if Fen lied about his “ghost.”

  “No, it’s not. You told me no lying.”

  “No lying to me.”

  Fen sighed. “I told them he hit his face on the stove after I hit him the second time.”

  From the drowsy sound of Fen’s voice, it sounded like he was almost asleep.

  “Yeah?”

  “I didn’t have to hit him the second time. I…” He yawned. “I threw the stuff over my shoulder, turned, and smacked him. He went down, hitting the stove on the way. He was still sitting there on…the floor…and I smacked…” Yawn. “…him again. I didn’t have to. I…” One more yawn that Joel echoed, finally unable to hold back. “…wanted to. Castle…doctrine…took care of…him…for my Sir. July told me to…”

  Joel’s eyes snapped open, but Fen was already asleep.

  * * * *

  Fen had horrible nightmares, of Johnny chasing him in the apartment. Of a girl or young woman being chased and bludgeoned in his apartment. Murdered. Dying in the second bedroom, her skull fractured against the windowsill.

  When he pried his eyes open, Fen realized he was in Joel’s bedroom and it was dark out.

  And he had a fucking splitting headache.

  The moan escaped him as he tried to sit up, then gave up that idea.

  The TV was on, but at the sound of his moan, the lamp on the right side of the bed snapped on. “Baby?”

  Fen groaned again as he closed his eyes. “Please put me out of my fucking misery. What the hell did they give me?”

  “I don’t know. You okay?”

  “Sure, if you can get me the skillet so I can whack myself in the head with it and kill myself.”

  “Peppermint tea?”

  “Yeah, please, since I don’t have any peppermint oil. And ibuprofen. And maybe an icepack or wet cloth?”

  “Coming right up.”

  Fen lay there, realizing his right shoulder also hurt like hell where he’d been burned. As did his back, and his legs, and—pretty much his whole damn body.

  The phantom sensation of the jarring impact, and the sound that accompanied the first hit, wouldn’t leave his brain.

  Would it ever?

  The look on Johnny’s face when Fen took the second swing at him.

  He—

  Oh, fuck.

  Now he remembered what he’d said to Joel just before falling asleep on him.

  He sensed more than heard Joel return. The man put a small, glass bottle in his hand. “That was in that small caddy thing you have. Is that the right one?”

  Fen forced an eyelid open enough to read the label. “Oh, gawd, yes, thank you!” He closed his eye again and, working by feel, twisted the cap off and took a long, deep inhale from the bottle.

  Almost immediately, both his nausea and his headache settled a little. Enough he could manage to open his eyes again.

  Joel stood there, concern on his face and a glass of water in one hand, a bottle of ibuprofen in the other.

  “I love you so damn much right now you have no clue,” Fen said, praying Joel still felt the same.

  The smile that curved Joel’s lips gave Fen hope. “Love you, too, baby. Think you can sit up to take these?” He shook the bottle.

  Moving carefully, Fen did, snorting another noseful of peppermint aroma before he dared to swallow the caplets, chasing them with water.

  That done, he rubbed a couple of drops of peppermint on the back of his neck, along his forehead, and took one more inhale from the bottle before capping it and setting it on the bedside table.

  Now he also realized that his big oil diffuser from his living room was sitting on the bedside table closest to him and diffusing lavender.

  Oh, my gawd, I fucking love this guy!

  He deeply inhaled, trying to find his calm, peaceful center. “What time is it?”

  “After ten. I hope you don’t mind I ordered a pizza and ate.”

  Guilt filled him. “I’m sorry. We missed going to the club.”

  “I don’t care about that. I texted Jake and let him know what happened. He’ll pass the word. I only care that you’re safe.”

  Fen wondered when the other shoe would drop and decided to reach for it himself and get it over with. “About what I said before I fell asleep. I—”

  “I don’t fucking care.” Joel sat next to Fen and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him alone. He could have killed you.”

  “He underestimated me.”

  “Obviously.” He rubbed his chin in Fen’s hair and sighed. “Do you need to go talk to anyone, baby?”

  “Like who?”

  “Like a psychologist or anything. To deal with this.”

  “Nope.” Rage filled him and Fen struggled to shove it away. “He told me he was going to rape me. He would have had to kill me, because no way was I going to stop fighting. This wasn’t some random guy pissing on my lawn. This was a guy who broke into my house and he probably would have killed me after he raped me, if not before.”

  * * * *

  The thought of Johnny even setting foot inside his guy’s home, much less having plans to do that to Fen, sent another jolt of anger through Joel. “We’re good, baby.” He rubbed his chin in Fen’s silky hair, the gesture soothing Joel. “We’re fine. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. That because of me he came into your life.”

  “Not your fault, Sir. I took care of him. He’ll never bother us again.”

  “I can’t lose you,” Joel whispered. “It’d kill me.”

  Everything about Fen soothed him.

  Everything.

  Fen rested his head against Joel’s shoulder. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere as long as you want me. It’s okay, Sir.”

  “No, it’s not okay. I promised I’d always take care of you, and now, here it is two—no, three times in less than a week, you’ve had to take care of me.”

  Fen looked up at him, blinking those gorgeous eyes of his. “Then I guess you’d better hurry up and put a ring on it before something worse happens.” His lips curved into a sexy smile.

  “I want you to move in here. Fuck your lease, we’ll find a new place after it’s up if they won’t let you out of it. We can start looking for a house to rent.”

  “I’ll have to call the real estate office.”

  “I’ll call them and talk to them for you.”

  “I appreciate that, Sir, but I’m on the lease. I can do this. I’m an adult.”

  “I want to take care of you.”

  “Then do that by letting me do what I need to do. I promise if I need your help, I’ll ask for it.”

  “We can put my stuff in storage so we can move your stuff in here, and—”

  “No.” Fen met his gaze. “That’d be a huge pain in the ass, Sir. I’ll get a storage unit. I’m not hauling all my stuff up here. Well, one thing.”

  “Name it.”

  “My bed.” He smiled. “You have to admit, it is better. You said it yourself.”

  Joel kissed him. “Damn right, it is.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Four months after the attack, Joel, Fen, and their friends and family—including Joel’s family—stood on a beach at a county park on Siesta key while Loren officiated their wedding ceremony. They’d arrived there earlier that morning and had taken over one of the larger picnic pavilions, first for Glen’s retirement party.

 
Not hard to commandeer county facilities when you were the po-po, apparently.

  After the excitement of Fen’s attack, Ivy finally put her foot down and demanded Glen retire.

  The party carried over to the wedding, the food and celebration part of the men’s reception being held before the wedding as part of Glen’s party, and then the ceremony would be followed by cake.

  Fen had insisted on simple and short, caring more about getting the wedding band on his finger than trying to remember what he’d wanted to say while crying snotty tears all over the place.

  But the Master had decided they would write their own vows, and Fen agreed.

  Mainly because he anticipated the delicious caning he would receive later during round two, at Venture, when they had their collaring ceremony.

  That was the ceremony Joel wanted kept short and sweet, so he could finally take Fen home and have fun with him there.

  The men held hands and as Fen stared up into his man’s blue eyes, he knew down to the depths of his soul this was for life.

  They’d survived a trial by fire already. Not to mention a trial by Snoobug. Anything else would be a cakewalk.

  This man had proven to Fen, beyond any doubt, that he wanted him, the way he was, without hesitation.

  And Fen was happy to know he was the guy who’d restored Joel’s ability to trust again.

  He was even happier to know they were having the day filmed and photographed, because he was sure he wouldn’t remember a damn thing later except Joel’s gorgeous eyes.

  “We’re gathered here today,” Loren started, “to witness these two men coming together, in love and trust, to commit to each other to be married for life. They’ve written their own vows and would like to speak them. Joel?”

  Fen had to keep blinking back tears as he watched Joel’s blue gaze.

  Joel squeezed his hands. “Friends introduced us. I’m not ashamed to admit I’d given up ever finding someone. That’s why I put it in their hands and thought maybe they could help. I didn’t really expect them to come through, though. Not really.”