Reconsider Me Read online

  “That’ll teach you to doubt the powers of the Frightful Five,” Gilo softly teased from their Suncoast Society group of friends.

  A ripple of laughter rolled through them. But Joel and Fen had expected the aside.

  “And then they introduced me to this guy who, at first glance, I thought was a tiny, meek thing I’d break if I hugged too hard.” He smiled. “A guy who was the most adorable man I’ve ever set my eyes on, and who smelled delicious. A guy who quickly showed me appearances are very deceiving, and who turned out to be one of the strongest men I’ve ever known.

  “Me and my family were able to lean on you when we needed you, and you were not only strong enough to hold us up and keep us from falling, you showed everyone what the true definition of family is and made me realize that I needed to spend my life with you. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I promise before everyone here I will spend the rest of my life loving you, taking care of you, no matter how hard it gets sometimes. I’ll always have your back the way you had mine, and I’ll never reconsider asking you to be my husband.”

  Joel squeezed Fen’s hands, and Loren smiled. “Fen, your vows?”

  He had to remember not to call Joel Sir right now, because there were more than a few vanillas, friends of his parents—a lot of them cops—in the gathered crowd.

  “When we met I told you I had one line that could never be crossed, and you agreed without hesitation. You were the first guy in my life who didn’t try to change me, who didn’t try to remake me or get me to reconsider. You accepted me as I was then, and you accept me as I am now.

  “I think I fell in love with you the night we met, but I had a hard time trusting, too. Everything, every instinct in my body, our friends, even Snoobug told me this was right, this was what I needed. But my experiences in life told me not to trust. You proved to me at every step that you were the man you said you were, the only man who’s ever looked at me and looked through my core to see who I am, not just what they thought I was. You stripped my soul bare and saw the truth and loved the fear out of me.”

  Fen managed to slide a little vanilla-friendly hat-tip to kink into his vows. “For the rest of my life, I promise to love, honor, and obey you. To walk by your side and spend every morning and night being your partner and friend and husband and wielding a mean skillet.”

  Some of his dad’s friends in law enforcement hooted in approval at that one.

  They’d already received over twenty pieces of cast-iron cookware. Fortunately, some friends had gone for less obvious choices in terms of type, because they now had nine skillets of various sizes.

  Joel smiled and winked.

  “I’m ready to spend the rest of my life as your husband,” Fen finished.

  Loren called for the rings. George was Fen’s best man, and Keith was Joel’s. They exchanged rings, Loren taking over and then finishing with, “By the power vested in me by the state of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and husband, and I defy anyone to try to get between the two of you guys.”

  They kissed to the sweet sound of laughter, applause, and cheers of approval from the crowd.

  “Love you, Mr. Burch,” Joel whispered to him after kissing.

  Fen grinned. “Love you, too, Master.”

  * * * *

  They’d had a long day full of fun and laughter, and had time to return to Joel’s to take showers and change clothes before heading to Venture.

  Next week, they’d be moving into their new home that they’d put a down payment on. Joel’s mom would be moving into Joel’s old condo next month. She was in the process of moving out of the farm after having sold it for far more money than Joel’s dad had ever been offered in the past.

  More than enough she could afford the condo, give some to all three children, and still have plenty to live on, in addition to her Social Security and the proceeds from Jason’s life insurance policy.

  Fen had never told Joel what his dad had found out about Fen’s old apartment. He knew if he had, Joel might have never set foot in it again, even to help him move out of it.

  About the murder years ago.

  When Fen had talked to the real estate company the next week, the agent there had admitted they knew about it and it was in their disclosure file, but not something they had to disclose for renting.

  When Fen had angrily gotten up to storm out, Lara, a friend from Venture, had appeared in the doorway to see what was going on.

  And it turned out Lara had known about the apartment’s history. After she chewed the woman out for not disclosing the past murder when she’d rented it to Fen, Lara had led Fen to her office, closed the door, and quietly filled him in on the other part of it.

  That the victim had been June’s sister.

  If June later put together what had happened to Fen with where he lived, she’d never mentioned it to him when he was at the studio for yoga sessions. When she’d asked him the next time she’d seen him if he was okay, he’d kept his answers short and sweet, quickly diverting the topic.

  The last thing he wanted to do was think about how, if he listened to June’s voice, it could have been her identical twin warning him to run that day.

  Or that maybe there was an interesting kind of poetic justice, a karmic scale balance in play, when he’d swung that skillet.

  Fen wondered if July would ever truly find peace, but the last time he’d stood alone in the apartment, with it empty and ready to lock the door behind him for the last time, he’d called out to her, spoken to her.

  Thanked her.

  Invited her to follow him, if she wanted, and if not, that he understood.

  He didn’t know if she would take him up on his offer, or if he was crazier than he even knew for thinking there were such things as ghosts.

  Except that gooseflesh always rippled across his body when he remembered her voice speaking to him that last time.

  When she’d told him to swing hard the second time, like a golf club, and to aim for Johnny’s face.

  That was something he’d never tell anyone, not even Joel. That secret would remain firmly between him and July and Johnny.

  And Johnny damn sure wasn’t telling anyone jack shit anymore.

  * * * *

  The crowd burst into applause when Joel led Fen into the dungeon. The Frightful Five stepped forward first to claim their hugs before everyone else congratulated the couple. After the din settled, Loren called for attention and they all gathered at the back of the room.

  “Part two,” she said, looking out over the room. “Where’s Gilo?”

  “Here,” Abbey said, and another explosion of laughter took hold.

  She led him over. She had him on a leash and bound in a straight jacket. He wore a leather hood with a ball gag in his mouth.

  “Now how are we supposed to hear him?” Loren said when she stopped laughing.

  Abbey unbuckled the ball gag and held it.

  He gave her a look. “You just wait until I’m out of this straightjacket and I’m Top later, young lady.”

  Abbey flashed him a wicked grin. “Who says I’m letting you out of it tonight?”

  “Goddammit,” he muttered, drawing more laughter.

  “Okay,” Loren said. “Joel?”

  He smiled at Fen and pointed at the floor.

  Fen sank to his knees. Joel’s cock had already hardened in his jeans, imagining what he was in for later.

  Joel withdrew a stainless steel chainmaille necklace from a small drawstring pouch he’d pulled from his back pocket.

  “You have been through…a lot with me already.”

  “Yes, Sir, may I have another?” Gilo joked in a British accent.

  Abbey slapped the ball gag back in place while everyone laughed.

  Joel continued. “I’m not happy just to be your husband. I want to own every bit of you the way you already own me, but if you want that, too, you need to say it in front of everyone.”

  “I want you to be my Master,” Fen said. “I’m your
slave, and I want to wear your collar. Please.”

  Joel leaned in and fastened it around his neck, giving him a long, sweet kiss. “For life, baby.”

  “For life, Master.”

  He helped him to his feet to another round of applause and congratulations. Then he led Fen over to the new side, to one of the benches there.

  “You have one minute to get your sweet ass on that bench, and you’d better be wearing nothing but your collar and your wedding ring.”

  Joel turned to start unpacking his bag. When he straightened seconds later, Fen was already on the bench, naked, and wiggling his ass at him.

  He cast a look over his shoulder and grinned. “You were saying, Master?”

  “Goddamn, you’re quick.”

  He took his time getting his implements ready, letting Fen stew for a minute until he turned to him to take him in.

  Bare ass, sweet unmarked flesh.

  For now.

  One of the beautiful things he’d discovered about his boy over their months together was he was absolutely a masochist, and pain made him horny. He’d be lucky if he wasn’t fighting Fen off in the elevator on the way up.

  Joel didn’t bother with lighter implements. He went straight for the heavy paddles and canes without a warmup. Fen arched his back, sticking his ass out for every impact, begging for more. When Joel would walk around to his head to ask for a color, Fen would grab him, pull him in, and kiss him, hard.

  Then say, “Black and blue,” with a playful grin.

  Joel finally gave up after thirty minutes, and finishing with a cane, wanting to get him home and continue the sexier portion of their play before he collapsed for the evening.

  Especially since he’d been online shopping again, and had ordered a special surprise for his eager, horny boy.

  He damn sure wanted to use it on their wedding night.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  In the elevator on the way up to their floor, Fen jumped into Joel’s arms, wrapping his arms and legs around Joel and slamming him against the back of the elevator as he kissed him.

  Joel caught him, laughing, having to step forward and put a foot out when the door opened on their floor. “Down, baby. I need to get the bag. Go unlock the door and wait outside. Do not go in.”

  “Yes, Master.”

  He jumped down and like Flash, he was gone.

  I’m so screwed.

  And he loved it.

  He grabbed the implement bag and followed him down the hall to their condo, where Fen waited outside the door, grinning.

  Joel set the bag inside their condo, then stepped out again and scooped Fen into his arms, kissing him as he walked through the door. “Welcome home, sugar.” He kicked the door shut. “Go get naked. Leather cuffs and collar. Day collar stays on.”

  He was too horny and on the verge of being too tired to waste any time with seduction. They were both horny as hell because he’d not let Fen come since Thursday…and neither had he.

  But he’d spent plenty of time tormenting Fen, including sending him to work yesterday in a chastity cage, which had left him begging to exchange a blowjob for freedom at lunchtime.

  Joel had held firm, though, and had tied Fen up last night, watching TV with him in bed and enjoying the sounds of him whimpering and begging for relief.

  To sleep last night, he’d put a set of locking leather cuffs on Fen and fastened them to the headboard so he couldn’t reach his cock.

  He wondered how long his guy could last tonight.

  Joel locked the front door before following Fen to the bedroom. Then he produced the surprise he’d hidden in his implement bag yesterday. He’d taken the risk to have it delivered to himself at work to surprise Fen, and, fortunately, no one had opened his package by mistake.

  Before climbing onto the bed, he took one of the jelly cock rings and stretched it, securing it around the base of Fen’s cock. Fen let out a hiss, followed by a moan. “Oh, fuck, that’s good.”

  The second one, Joel put that around the top of Fen’s sac, just under his cock, drawing another happy moan out of him.

  Then he showed him the true surprise. Fen’s eyes widened. Joel spun him around and used a snap clip to attach his wrist cuffs together before bending him over the bed and stroking his ass. Cane marks and paddle bruises nicely branded him as Joel’s.

  He added a couple of hard bites, smiling as Fen moaned and begged for relief.

  “Just a minute, baby.”

  Joel grabbed the lube and climbed onto the bed. He sat propped up against the headboard, then patted his lap. “Sit facing me.”

  It was fun watching Fen trying to maneuver with his arms behind him, but his boy was tenacious and limber and determined and finally made it. He sat with his legs spread, draped over the tops of Joel’s thighs.

  Joel edged forward, so their cocks were touching. Fen watched his hands as Joel slicked lube over both of them, pressing their cocks together. “Ready for another first?”

  Fen nodded, his lower lip caught under his teeth.

  Joel dumped a generous amount of lube into the toy, a larger version of the wedgeable one, and then set the bottle aside. Joel stretched the toy with both hands and pulled it over the heads of their cocks.

  It felt tight, deliciously so, but Joel knew it’d stretch to accommodate them. Fen let out a moan as it tightly fisted both their cocks while Joel took his time working it down their shafts.

  “Fuck…fuck…fuck!” Fen muttered, his head thrown back and his hips working, trying to urge Joel to go faster, harder.

  He laughed. “See why I double-ringed you, boy? I knew you wouldn’t last as long as getting us inside it.”

  He lifted his head, his eyes glazed with the sweet tell of subspace. “Please, fuck me, Master!”

  “I am, boy. Hold on.”

  “I need it!” His sweet, whining tone was making Joel’s cock twitch.

  One thing Joel had noticed lately was that Fen begged for a fucking. In the beginning, even with the clarification firmly in place, Fen had always been careful with his words. Now, he knew Joel knew what he meant, and he was finally free of that pain, in one small way, at least.

  Fen could ask for what he wanted and know his Master wouldn’t cross his line.

  He’d reclaimed a portion of himself with Joel.

  Joel honestly didn’t care if Fen never wanted to do anal. A couple of weeks ago, he’d broken out a prostate massager to use on himself while Fen went down on him, something Fen was totally fine with Joel doing.

  The next night, instead, Fen had grabbed a glove and lube and slid his fingers up Joel’s ass while he blew Joel, making it even hotter.

  He’d never asked Fen to do it, had decided that it’d be a while before he would ask Fen to do something like that to him, unless Fen volunteered.

  Later, it’d led to a good conversation with another cathartic cry for Fen.

  More healing. A small step at a time.

  Maybe one day his boy wouldn’t think about the wolf and the freshman, with too many good memories taking the place of the painful ones.

  Meanwhile, Joel would get as creative as he could making new, better memories for Fen, memories that featured only Joel and his love for Fen with none of the bad kinds of pain.

  It took him a couple of minutes to get the toy all the way down to the base of his cock. Fen whined and thrust and looked adorably pathetic and needy.

  And all his.

  Joel reached out and lightly tugged Fen’s nipples, making him clamp his lips shut on the squeal trying to escape. “Who do you belong to?”

  Fen forced his eyes open. “I belong to you, Master.”

  This was one of their rituals now.

  “Who owns your body?”

  “You do, Master.”

  “Who made those marks on that sweet ass?”

  “They’re your marks, Master.”

  “And why do you take those marks?”

  “Because I love being owned by you, Master.”

&
nbsp; He leaned in, catching the D-ring on the front of Fen’s leather collar with a finger. “Who loves you?”

  “Master loves me.”

  Joel’s lips hovered over Fen’s. “Who loves you?”

  “Master loves me.”

  He nipped Fen’s lower lip.

  Always three times. “Who loves you?”

  “Master loves me.”

  Joel kissed him, hard, and with his other hand slowly started jacking the toy on their cocks. They moaned into each other’s mouths, the incredibly tight, slick friction of the toy and their cocks pressed together threatening to pull Joel immediately over the edge.

  He stopped, Fen moaning and trying to fuck against him, and Joel grinning. “Oh, someone’s desperate.”

  “Yes, Master!”

  He let go of the D-ring and reached around behind Fen and unclipped his cuffs. Then he leaned back and smiled, holding the jack toy pressed against the bases of their cocks.

  “Then I guess you’d better fuck one out of your Master if you want to earn that.”

  The underside of Joel’s cock was more sensitive, and based on variations of this theme they’d experimented with over the past couple of weeks, he suspected if he held the toy at exactly the right position, Fen would be able to fuck one out of him like this. He raised the toy enough that there was about an inch of free space at the tip, then smiled.

  “Get busy, boy.”

  Fen fell forward, moaning, devouring Joel’s lips with his as he braced his arms on either side of Joel and started fucking the toy. Joel reached up with his free hand and fisted his hair, growling his pleasure into Fen’s mouth and knowing no, he wouldn’t last long.

  Not long at all.

  The slick, solid heat of the underside of Fen’s cock sliding along Joel’s was a close tie in terms of pleasure when compared to a blowjob.

  And Fen was fucking awesome at blowjobs. Blowjobs, or mouth fuckings, which Fen also enjoyed the hell out of being on the receiving end of.

  Fen could barely keep his eyes open, heavy lids and a long, steady moan rolling from him as the entire bed shook from the force and speed of his thrusts. Unrestrained and deep in his lust, he looked gorgeous and perfect.