Night by Night Read online

  It hit him for the first time that while he knew people who had kids, and had spent time around kids before, he’d never really seen himself as a “parent.”

  As he sat there, a fantasy flashed to mind before he could cut it off at the roots. Of him picking JJ up from school, or classes, or whatever, and the two of them cooking dinner for them as a family, having it ready when Hank came home from work.

  Of being a dad.

  Fuck.

  This was a self-inflicted, slow-motion emotional train wreck he was helpless to stop in any way.

  “Hey, man,” Hank said, smiling at him as he emerged from the bedroom. His blond hair was still damp from the shower, and because it was a little shaggy, even though he’d combed it, Maddox could see the waves in it.

  Could imagine himself running his fingers through it and ruffling his hair.

  Maddox stood. “Hey.” Maddox was glad he didn’t have to step in for a hug and risk being rebuffed, because Hank stepped in first and hugged him.

  “Thanks, man,” Hank softly said as they hugged, and too softly for JJ to overhear. “I’m not going to refuse the company right now.”

  Maddox’s heart raced, throbbed, although in reality he knew Hank meant it in a completely platonic way.

  He patted Hank’s back as they hugged. “Dude, you’ve been through a lot. You don’t have to thank me for being here. I want to be here. I’m an adult—if I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be here.”

  At least in that way he didn’t have to fib at all.

  Hank took care of transferring JJ’s car seat to Maddox’s car and they were quickly off, with Hank navigating.

  “If you’d told me we’d one day be having dinner with Mrs. McElroy,” Hank said, “I wouldn’t have believed you.”

  “Right?” Maddox said. “I can’t wait to see her again.”

  When they arrived, a tall guy wearing a friendly smile answered the front door. “Hey, you must be Hank and Maddox. Rusty McElroy.” He shook with them, then stooped over and smiled at JJ. “And you must be the little ninja in training Miss Eliza told me about.”

  She giggled. “I’m JJ. Pleased to meet you.” And she stuck her hand out.

  His grin widened and he shook with her. “Pleased to meet you, too. You know, our daughter, when she was your age, we put a sword in her hand. We could teach you to be a shield-maiden, and—”

  “Rusty!” Eliza called from inside the house. “Let them in and let’s at least feed them dinner before you start tossing her into combat, huh, barbarian?”

  He laughed and straightened. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  Hank had already started inside the house but Maddox froze as his gaze met and held Rusty’s for a moment.

  He heard that capital M. And a whole bunch of things fell into place for him, including why she’d insisted on them using “ma’am” and “sir” during her classes.

  Rusty arched an eyebrow at him, apparently picking up on what Maddox had figured out.

  Maddox wondered how long it’d be before he ended up running into them at Venture.

  He stepped inside and followed Hank and JJ into the living room while Rusty closed the front door behind them.

  Eliza emerged from the kitchen and welcomed them all with hugs. “Hope you brought your appetites,” she said.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Maddox said, catching the curiously arched eyebrow Eliza sent his way.

  Hmm.

  Once they were all sitting down and eating, Eliza focused on Maddox. “It’s so good to see you again. What are you up to? Where do you work?”

  “I’m a CPA. I work for Marcia and Derrick Watson at—”

  Rusty started coughing, choking on something, but Eliza’s gaze never wavered from Maddox’s.

  Even more confirmation, and why Maddox had opted to name-drop.

  “You gonna survive, barbarian?” Eliza asked, but still didn’t look away from Maddox.

  “Yes, Ma’am,” he gasped as he reached for his glass of water.

  “Small world,” Eliza drawled, her gaze narrowing. “Friends of ours. Good friends. Friends in common.” She softly emphasized the last word in such a way Hank and JJ wouldn’t pick up on it.

  But Maddox did.

  Now he was certain. “I enjoy working for them,” Maddox honestly said. “They’re great people. We have a few…hobbies in common, too.” Maddox glanced over at Hank, but his friend apparently had no reaction. He was clueless.

  Rusty was still trying to get his choking under control, but Eliza slowly nodded, a playful smirk curling her lips. “Then we’ll have to talk sometime.” She quickly shifted the conversation to other topics. By the time they were ready to leave that evening, Maddox was convinced Rusty was collared to Eliza.

  She pulled out her phone. “Give me your contact info, Maddox.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He did, and she texted him.

  “That way, if we need to coordinate transportation or something for JJ, we can.”

  “Absolutely.”

  With her full tummy and the afternoon’s martial arts class, JJ fell asleep almost as soon as they pulled out of their driveway. On the way home, Hank seemed a little…melancholy.

  “You okay, buddy?” Maddox asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Then what’s wrong?”

  He slowly shook his head. “Nothing. That’s what’s terrifying me—everything’s going right for a damn change.”

  Chapter Seven

  Wednesday morning, Maddox was at work and happily tuning out the world while thinking about the brief text message exchange he’d already had with Hank. Then he became aware of two people standing in the doorway of his cubicle.

  Marcia…and Eliza.

  Both of them wearing playful, knowing smiles.

  Marcia crooked a finger at him, beckoning, before the women turned and headed for Marcia’s office.

  With his happy mood now shattered, he stood and followed.

  They waited until he closed the door behind him to start laughing.

  He waited them out.

  “Rusty damn near gave himself pneumonia from choking over worrying about freaking you out,” Eliza playfully said. “But you already knew, didn’t you?”

  “I suspected. That’s why I name-dropped Marcia and Derrick. I figured it’d get that out of the way sooner rather than later.”

  Eliza nodded. “Smart guy.”

  “Why do you think we hired him?” Marcia teased. “We like smart people. That he’s one of us is a happy and unexpected bonus.”

  “Does Hank know you’re kinky?” Eliza asked. “Or is he kinky?”

  “No, he doesn’t know I am. And I doubt he is, but we haven’t had that conversation. I’ve only had him back in my life a couple of days. I don’t want to freak him out. Besides, not exactly a conversation that you have with a little kid around.”

  “True,” Eliza said.

  “So why the drop-in today?” he asked.

  “Just wanted to make sure we’re copacetic,” Eliza said. “We volunteer at the club a lot. Would rather have this conversation outside of there to prevent freaking you out on-site.”

  “I’m not freaked out. Sort of makes sense to me, in retrospect.”

  “Marcia said she told you about this already, but I’m part of the matchmaking group, if you’re interested. One-hundred-percent success rate.”

  He thought about Hank. “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

  “Straight, gay, or bi?” she asked. “I mean,” she quickly added, “for me to keep my eye out.”

  “Bi. I’ve dated guys and women.”

  “Switchy, or Dom? Or am I totally off-base and you’re a bottom?”

  He smirked. “You’re not off-base. Dom. Not switchy, but I’m a little flexible, in some ways.”

  “Bi vers Dom. Got it.” She grinned at Marcia. “This’ll be fun.”

  “I think I’d like to meet people in the area before I start dating again.” He didn’t want to let it slip he wasn’t really avail
able out of fear they might accidentally tip Hank off.

  The last thing he wanted was to put more stress on Hank than he was already under.

  After chatting for a few minutes, he knew he needed to get back to work. “By the way, thank you, again, for what you and your other friend did for Hank and JJ. I’d like to chip in for the ‘scholarship,’ if need be.”

  She waved him off. “It’s handled, trust me. Just let me know if he’s stressing over money too much, and we’ll figure another excuse to cut him slack on the fees. I don’t want him feeling guilty over this.”

  “Will do.”

  He returned to his desk and briefly considered how weird his life had just turned. In good ways, at least.

  * * * *

  At lunchtime, Maddox pulled out his phone and perused Venture’s website. There was a rope class late on the afternoon of the Saturday of JJ’s party, but Maddox thought he’d have enough time to make the class. He jumped onto FetLife and marked himself as going on the event there. Hell, the only way he’d meet local people in the lifestyle was if he went to events. No one wanted to get involved with a keyboard warrior sight unseen.

  Not that he thought he’d do much dating, but one never knew.

  It’d be a way to take his mind off Hank for a few hours, if nothing else.

  Unless, of course, Hank wanted to do something with him that night. Then he’d do that.

  No-brainer.

  He really should have a conversation with Hank sooner rather than later, though. So it wouldn’t be…weird if his kinkiness came out accidentally in some other way. Or he wouldn’t want Hank to think he was hanging out with people and deliberately excluding him.

  It was already a given he was going over to Hank’s house that night. He’d basically told Hank he was coming over to make dinner for them again. Maybe Hank would eventually get tired of him doing that, but until he did and expressly told him no, Maddox was going to do it.

  Besides, he enjoyed it. JJ was adorable, and if nothing else it gave Hank a couple of hours he could take some stealth downtime, with JJ focusing on him and not Hank.

  In fact, when he went grocery shopping on his way over to Hank’s, he made sure to add a few extra items Hank could tuck into lunches for himself or JJ.

  And some other things, like toilet paper, paper towels, things he knew would absolutely be used.

  JJ ran out the front door to greet him and help him carry in groceries when he arrived. From her damp hair, he guessed Hank had once again bathed her first instead of himself.

  “Daddy in the shower?” he asked her.

  “Yep! He told me I could only open the door for you, or someone like Miss Eliza.”

  He gave her a high-five. “Good job.” They carried the groceries inside.

  “What are we having for dinner?” she asked.

  “Chicken breasts, and mac and cheese, and broccoli.”

  “Can I help?”

  “Of course you can.” He’d also purchased a baking dish for the chicken breasts, because he’d scoped things out Monday and knew what Hank didn’t have in the way of kitchen gear.

  By the time Hank emerged from his shower, Maddox had the chicken breasts in the oven, and they were working on chopping the broccoli. Well, Maddox was chopping, while JJ was watching and they were talking.

  His gaze happened to sweep over Hank’s and, once again, he felt that pleasant squeeze hit his soul. Hank’s hair was damp, and he’d pulled on a T-shirt and loose shorts. Maddox was glad he’d opted for jeans tonight to help contain everything and hide his own reaction.

  I just know I’m going to despise his next girlfriend.

  * * * *

  Hank had heard the front door open and slam shut a little while ago, so he assumed it meant Dox had arrived.

  A flash of guilt washed through him that the man was once again buying them groceries.

  Except he felt so exhausted, it was worth the guilt.

  While his final paycheck from his previous job had hit the bank account today, it meant less money he had to spend right now.

  I’ll make it up to him.

  He wouldn’t deny selfishly enjoying adult company he could unwind in front of, either. He suspected Dox wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t really want to. He’d never had trouble telling Hank no when they were kids.

  Although, as Hank looked back, he could never tell Dox no, and rarely ever wanted to.

  And while he felt exhausted, having Dox there meant a few minutes he didn’t have to worry about JJ. So he risked closing his eyes and leaning against the shower wall to jerk off. Hell, it’d been forever since he’d even done that.

  Usually, there was too much risk of JJ interrupting him. He’d quit counting the number of times she’d cock-blocked him like that. She could be sound asleep, and he’d lock himself in the bathroom, and she’d knock on the door within five seconds of him starting and getting himself good and hard.

  Never failed.

  Tonight, he pounded his cock hard and fast and really didn’t have time to even work up a good fantasy in the process before he squirted cum all over the shower.

  Ahhhh.

  Maybe it would be worth the little bit of guilt of having Dox over just to know he could do that in peace every once in a while.

  When he opened the bedroom door he heard Dox and JJ talking, and it reminded him that no, he wasn’t the only one benefitting from this. JJ needed family, and Dox was family. He walked out to the kitchen to find them working on dinner together. He patted Dox on the back on his way to the fridge to get a cold bottle of water from it.

  “Did I tell you how much I love you, dude?”

  Dox smiled. “Love you, too, dude.”

  “Hey!” JJ teased. “What about me?”

  “Love you, too,” Dox said, kissing the top of her head.

  “Ditto,” Hank told her, twisting the cap off the bottle to take a drink.

  “Does this make you my step-dad, Uncle Dox?” JJ asked, and Hank choked on the swallow of water in his mouth while Dox started laughing.

  But before Hank could answer, Dox did. “I don’t have any kids, so how about you can be my honorary daughter?” Dox looked at him and dropped him a wink.

  “What’s that mean?” she asked.

  “Well, I don’t think your dad wants to marry me,” Dox playfully continued, apparently unfazed by her question. “So it’s sort of a way to say you’re my daughter without you being my daughter.”

  Hank was still trying to recover from choking.

  JJ nodded. “Do I still call you Uncle Dox?”

  “You can call me whatever you want to, sweetie. I know my parents will want to make you their honorary granddaughter, too. I don’t have any nieces or nephews for them to spoil rotten, because I’m an only child.”

  “Cool! I’ve always wanted a grandma and grandpa.” She frowned. “Those other people weren’t nice.”

  Hank finally recovered. “She knows what Cameron did,” he told Dox. “And what his family tried.”

  Her face darkened, the spitting image of Lois. “I don’t want to talk to them or see them. They might take me away from Daddy.”

  “No one’s ever taking you from your dad,” Dox said, meeting Hank’s gaze. “I’ll make sure of that. They’d have to go through me first.”

  A flash of warmth hit Hank, reminding him of all the times Dox stood up for him when they were younger. “You always did take care of me.”

  “Kind of what best friends do.” He smiled as he resumed chopping the broccoli. “They take care of each other.”

  After dinner, Hank got JJ put to bed and returned to the living room, where Dox sat on the couch.

  He collapsed onto the other end. “Sorry about earlier.”

  “About what?”

  “Her asking if you were her step-dad. Hope that didn’t weird you out.”

  “Not at all. I meant it. Like I’m having kids anytime soon.” Dox laughed. “Mom has stopped asking me about that, and now asks if I’m go
ing to become a crazy cat guy or something.”

  “You’re still young. You’re only thirty-four. And you don’t have any cats. Yet,” he playfully added.

  “Yeah, not exactly dating, though. After what Kelly put me through, I’m gun-shy, anyway.”

  “At least you can date.” Hank laid his head back. “Going to be a long time before I date.”

  “Well, I date in a very specialized pond,” Dox cryptically said.

  “What?”

  “How open-minded are you?”

  “Depends.” He lifted his head again and looked at Dox. “Why?”

  “I like to be in charge in a relationship.”

  “Here’s my shocked face,” Hank teased, giving him a deadpanned expression. “You’ve always liked being in charge. Even when we were kids.”

  “Yeah, well, not everyone likes that in a partner,” he said. “And I like a little…more than that.”

  Hank sensed hesitance in Dox’s tone and something clicked in his brain. “Like that Fifty Shades stuff?”

  “Would that shock you?”

  “As long as she’s willing to do it, no,” Hank admitted.

  Honestly? He’d had fantasies of his own over the years, of being able to let go and be a toy to someone, but it wasn’t anything he’d ever shared with anyone else. Some of the happiest days of his life were when he followed Dox’s lead and let him decide what they were doing so he could shut down his own brain.

  Hell, Dox was the one who pushed him to study and frequently overruled Hank about how they were spending their time together. More than once he’d made plans to go out with a girl, but Dox overruled him.

  Like hell he would’ve talked back to him, either. Mostly because every time he did what Dox told him in terms of studying, he managed to pass. Maybe by the skin of his teeth, but it counted.

  When he got into trouble was when he didn’t do what Dox told him to do.

  But once their parents died, all the responsibility had fallen on his shoulders, to help keep Lois on track and in school, for all the good it’d done him.

  He was also convinced she would’ve reconciled with Cameron after the initial attack, had it not been for him supporting her and insisting she press charges and getting her moved back in with him.