Night by Night Read online

  And JJ would’ve likely been injured or killed. Or never been born in the first place.

  He wouldn’t give her up for anything. He loved her, and she was all he had left of his family.

  Except for Maddox.

  Dox turned, sitting sideways to face him. “My bosses run a BDSM club here in Sarasota, place called Venture. I haven’t been yet, but I probably will start going. I used to go to a club up in Pinellas.”

  “Is that like a sex club?” The thought of random sex with someone sort of squicked him out.

  The thought of Dox having random sex also squicked him out a little, but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on why.

  “No. They don’t allow sex or alcohol. Like they have classes on artistic rope bondage, things like that.”

  “Oh. That sounds…different. So why are you telling me this?”

  Dox seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “Well, because I didn’t want you to think I was ditching you if you know I’m doing stuff and I don’t invite you along.”

  From feeling a little…weird, to feeling a surge of love pulse through him. “I appreciate you not wanting to hurt my feelings, but it’s okay.”

  Except…yeah. He might have felt strange if he’d thought Dox was ditching him.

  “And if you ever are interested in going with me, just let me know,” Dox added.

  That also brought out some…confusing emotions he’d have to unpack and examine later. When he wasn’t so fricking exhausted. “I’d need a babysitter.”

  “I know we could arrange something with someone trustworthy.” But Dox intently watched him now.

  Hank felt captured by his gaze, like something vital was spinning just outside his grasp.

  The easy answer came to him. “Maybe sometime. It’s not in my budget right now, anyway. I have to pay off what I spent on JJ’s gear, and I need to put all my extra cash into building an emergency cushion.” He laid his head back again. “Those fuckers wiped me out in legal fees. Thank god Bryce helped me with legal advice and all the paperwork.”

  In fact, that reminded him—he really needed to get together with Bryce, make him dinner or something as a thank you.

  “I want you to promise me, if something ever happens and they come after you again, you let me help you fight them.” The determination in Dox’s tone reminded Hank of when they were kids.

  “I promise.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “I can’t let anything happen to her. It’d kill me, man. She’s my whole life.”

  He looked over when Dox laid a hand on Hank’s shoulder. “Then I’ll make sure I’ll always have your back so that never happens.”

  When Hank started yawning a little before nine, Dox bid him goodnight, and they made plans for him to come over the next night. As Hank lay in bed and waited for sleep to take him, he realized how it was weird in a funny sort of way that he’d accepted Dox’s admission without qualms.

  How it was…

  Just Dox.

  It fit his personality, that was for sure.

  Because if there was one thing Hank knew about Dox, it was that he really liked to be in charge. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he’d always been okay with it. He always followed where Dox led him, because Dox had always taken care of him, and he’d trusted him.

  Always.

  For some reason, the thought of a woman getting to do that with his friend and stepping between him and Dox…

  Well, it didn’t set very well with him.

  And he wasn’t exactly sure what to make of that.

  Chapter Eight

  Maddox and Hank settled into what was, for Maddox, becoming a very comfortable routine.

  Perhaps too comfortable.

  It was so easy to go by Hank’s every evening and all day Saturday and Sunday. He’d even gone grocery shopping with them one evening and took charge of JJ while Hank had done his shopping. Maddox had used the opportunity to cruise through the toy section to find out what she wanted, so he knew what to get her for her birthday.

  He’d already ordered her a kids’ robotics kit he was looking forward to working on with her, but he wanted something else that he knew she’d want.

  What Hank didn’t know was that he’d talked to Marcia and Eliza, and they were going to enlist June’s help in making sure JJ would have her best birthday ever.

  Maddox couldn’t wait to see Hank’s reaction, because he already knew JJ would be ecstatic.

  But no way in hell could he miss a chance to make Hank’s day, and having a happy little girl was the best way to make his boy happy.

  Sure, in his head that’s how he thought about Hank, even if he could never admit it to the man.

  For now, he could delude himself.

  In fact, that’s why he knew he had to go to the rope class on Saturday afternoon. Because it wasn’t fair to Hank to put those kinds of expectations on him, even if Hank didn’t know about them.

  Maybe he’d meet someone.

  Maybe pigs would fly, too. But hey, unless or until you drop-kicked that oinking motherfucker off the barn roof, who knew if it’d ever flap its porcine wings?

  The Saturday morning of JJ’s party, Maddox awakened and realized how much he was looking forward to it. Marcia, Eliza, and June had really come through for him, and he suspected Hank would be blinking away more than a few happy tears when he saw how many people showed up.

  He’d thought the highlight of his day would be the rope class that evening, but…no. This was better.

  Hell, if it wasn’t for the fact that he really wanted to go to the rope class, he’d hang with Hank and JJ all evening long.

  After making himself coffee, he stood in the shower and slowly stroked his cock while he conjured the image of Hank’s blue eyes. He’d been doing more of this lately, picturing his best friend as he jerked off nearly every night.

  Just like in his teens, where it seemed like every time he was rubbing one out it was to fantasies of what he’d like to do to Hank.

  Maybe he was a dumbass for still being in love with him, with someone he still couldn’t have, except he’d be lying if he denied it.

  He leaned against the shower wall as he squeezed the head of his cock and stroked back to the base, up and down again. He reached down with his other hand and cupped his balls, gently tugging as he conjured a fantasy of having Hank on his knees in front of him, wrists tied behind him, while slowly fucking his mouth. Hank’s blue eyes staring up at him.

  Mmm.

  He wondered for the umpteenth time if Hank had ever been with a guy, then shoved that thought out of his brain almost immediately. He didn’t want to think about that, especially not right now.

  No reality to intrude in his fantasies, thank you very much.

  He wanted to believe Hank was all his, in that way. At least for now.

  In his fantasy he watched Hank’s blue eyes as he slowly fucked his mouth and savored the feel of his tongue circling the head, how he’d push in deep and hold still for a moment, Hank’s breath warm against his pubes. Watching for the hint of desperation to make Hank’s brow furrow as he waited to see when Maddox would let him take a breath again.

  The climax hit him, unexpected, taking his breath away as he furiously stroked the head to milk it from him. Ropes of cum filled his hand, adding an extra slickness to his strokes as he finished. Then he stood there, slumped against the shower wall, eyes closed.

  Dammit.

  This was emotional masochism of the worst kind, far worse than when he was a kid.

  Because now he suspected he had even less of a chance of that particular fantasy coming true, but with Hank back in his life, he’d be damned if he had any interest in dating anyone.

  The only person he wanted in his life in that way was Hank.

  * * * *

  Maddox tucked JJ’s presents into the trunk of his car and headed over to Hank’s fifteen minutes earlier than he’d told him he’d be there.

  He’d steal every last second of time he could
with him.

  When he arrived, he hadn’t even made it all the way up the walk yet when JJ opened the door and ran out, happily squealing. “Uncle Dox!”

  She wore an adorable pink sundress over a bright orange one-piece bathing suit, and he envisioned Hank shopping for clothes for her.

  He had to shove that thought away. It’d be too easy to think about maybe shopping for clothes with him, shopping for groceries with him, maybe buying a new house with him—

  He caught JJ as she threw herself at him, picking her up and swinging her around before settling her on his hip. “Happy birthday, sweetheart. How’s it feel being six?”

  She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Great! Daddy’s in the shower.”

  “Okay.” He walked in with her and closed the door behind them. She was adorable, looked so much like Hank it made his heart squeeze. Thank god she’d gotten more of Lois’ genes than that loser asshole’s.

  He set her on her feet in the entryway and she ran down the hall, presumably to let Hank know he’d arrived.

  For a moment, the thought of what it’d be like coming home every day to JJ’s greeting flitted to mind, and he viciously shoved it away again.

  No. Don’t go there.

  It was the bad kind of torture to do that.

  Even though he’d love that reality. It’d be a dream come true.

  To be able to walk down the hall, enter the bathroom where Hank was in the shower, pull the shower curtain back and kiss him hello and—

  He reached down and adjusted his cock, where it’d started stiffening in his shorts over that thought.

  Bad Maddox. Stop it.

  She returned. “He’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Okay, sweetheart.” He walked over to the couch and sat down, just for her to bounce into his lap, nearly nailing him in the nuts in the process.

  “Thank you for coming to my party today, Uncle Dox.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for anything, sweetie.”

  “Do you think anyone else will come?”

  He smiled. “I have a feeling a couple of people will.”

  If they didn’t have at least double digits showing up, he’d be shocked. In fact, he suspected there wouldn’t be any leftover cake.

  Thank goodness Eliza and June would be handling that logistics issue.

  He heard a door open down the hall. “Hey, I’ll be right out,” Hank called.

  “No worries.”

  Meanwhile JJ settled in, one arm draped around his neck, totally at ease with him. “Daddy told me you and him used to go to the beach when you were kids.”

  “We did.”

  “And find shark teeth?”

  “Yep.”

  “Do you think we’ll find any today?”

  “Oh, sure. They’re usually all over the place. But they’re not huge ones.” He held his fingers barely apart. “They’re usually little ones.”

  She scrunched up her face. “They’re not big?”

  “Not usually, no. Sharks lose their teeth all the time, though…” While they waited for Hank, Maddox went through what he knew about sharks, which wasn’t very much. “You know, we should take you to Mote Marine. They have live sharks in this really huge tank.”

  Her eyes widened, adorable. “They do?”

  “Yeah. And they have manatees, turtles—all sorts of critters.”

  “Oooh! When can we go there?”

  He mentally winced, realizing it probably wasn’t in Hank’s budget to take her, but then he had an idea. He knew they had annual family memberships. He could buy one and say he already had it and take them, then it wouldn’t cost Hank anything.

  “I’ll talk to Daddy about it, honey.”

  “Okay.”

  “Talk to Daddy about what?” Hank stood at the end of the hall, shirtless and wearing shorts, scrubbing a towel over his damp hair.

  Yum.

  Thank goodness Maddox was sitting down, because it’d give him a moment to will his hard-on to go down. He’d gone from a little stiff to full-on wood. He hadn’t seen Hank shirtless since his return, and holy fucking hellsticks, the man was ripped.

  Hank’s broad shoulders tapered down his torso to narrow hips and what Maddox already knew was a tight ass. A light dusting of blond hair across his firm pecs practically had Maddox drooling.

  And now he stood there, waiting for—

  Oh. He asked me a question.

  “Mote,” he managed to croak out. “I told her we can all go to Mote and see the sharks and stuff there.” The slight frown had already creased Hank’s face when Maddox added, “I have a family membership.”

  In the grand scheme of things, that was a trifling fib. He would have a family membership purchased before they went.

  The frown eased. “Oh, thanks. Haven’t been there since we were kids.”

  She bounced and nearly kneed Maddox in the groin. “Can we go, Daddy? Pleeeeeease?”

  “Sure, we can go. But not today. Your party’s today.”

  “Yay!” More bouncing, and as Maddox shifted position to protect his nuts from her knees, he caught a smile from Hank.

  “I’ll be ready in a minute,” Hank said before turning and heading down the hall again.

  Maddox fielded a bunch of questions from her while awaiting Hank. She was so full of energy, and intelligent.

  He’s such a good dad.

  Even if some miracle did ever happen…how would he handle being a step-dad? He’d never really imagined himself having kids. It wasn’t a mental conversation he’d had, because he hadn’t been with someone with whom it’d been a possibility. Kelly had an IUD—thank god—because she didn’t want to have kids. The men he’d been with before, it’d obviously not been an issue. And the other women he’d dated, they’d stated up front they weren’t interested in having a baby at that time.

  Hank reemerged, now wearing a T-shirt. “Okay, sorry about that.”

  “No, it’s fine.”

  “You need to go to the bathroom?” Hank asked her.

  “Oh, yes!” JJ jumped up and ran down to her bathroom, almost slamming the door behind her.

  “Easy!” Hank called behind her.

  “Sorry, Daddy!” she yelled back.

  Maddox took the opportunity to stand, hopefully sparing his balls from further accidental ball taps. “Give me your keys and I’ll get her car seat moved over to my car while you get her stuff ready.”

  “Oh, thanks.” He handed them over, and Maddox fought the urge to stare into Hank’s eyes as their hands touched.

  Shit.

  He knew he had it bad for the guy.

  He walked outside, so distracted he nearly tripped when he caught his toe on a large crack in the driveway concrete. He retrieved the car seat from the truck, then had to figure out how to attach it to his back seat. Hell, he only used his back seat for groceries and stuff.

  By the time Hank emerged from the house with the first load of stuff in his arms, Maddox had figured it out and had it secured. Then he hurried around to pop the trunk open for Hank.

  He wondered why Hank pulled up short, then Maddox walked back and realized he was staring at the two wrapped presents.

  “What’s wrong?” Maddox asked him.

  Hank set the grocery bags down in the trunk. “You bought her presents?”

  “Yeah. That kitchen set she saw in the store, and a cool starter robotics kit I hope she likes. I’ll help her with it.”

  Hank stared at them for another second or two before he threw his arms around Maddox and hugged him tightly. “I love you, dude,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

  Maddox held him, his eyes dropping closed for a moment as he imagined other circumstances where he wished he would hear Hank say those same words. “Love you, too, dude,” he said.

  Hank headed back into the house to get more stuff, and Maddox stood there for a moment, watching him.

  I’m so screwed.

  * * * *

  Hank couldn’t get the sight
of those two large, wrapped boxes in Dox’s trunk out of his mind. He thought maybe Dox would’ve gotten her a little something, but that he’d gone to the trouble to actually get her what she’d asked for, something outside his own budget for now, and something else…

  It humbled him.

  I don’t deserve him.

  Fortunately, they didn’t have any trouble finding parking, and one of the covered pavilions was completely empty. With JJ bouncing around and excitedly chattering, he was glad his best friend was with him today for this.

  “Why don’t you go take her down to the water,” Dox suggested. “I’ll handle setting everything up.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” Dox smiled as he checked his phone. “Give me about thirty minutes or so.”

  “Okay.” He hugged him again. “Thank you. Hey, pumpkin, come here.” He called her over to him and took her sundress off her so she wouldn’t get it soaked. Then he slathered her with sunscreen, grabbed a towel, and leaving their shoes behind, he led her up the boardwalk over the dunes.

  She let out a squeal and started running when they crested the dune. “Daddy, look!”

  He smiled as he followed her. “Wait for me at the water.” He deeply inhaled, loving the sweet salty tang of the Gulf. He hadn’t realized how badly he’d missed this, missed the clean air, missed the sunshine bouncing off the white sand.

  He kept his eyes on her as he followed her so he wouldn’t lose sight of her. The water today was calm, light blue-green waves gently licking the sand.

  Damn, I’m so glad to be home.

  Being born in Florida and having never lived anywhere else before the move to Pennsylvania, snow had been a delightful oddity his first winter there.

  His first ice storm—not so much. Especially trying to drive on the shit.

  He’d quickly gotten over his enchantment regarding winter weather the first year there, and had been plotting how to save enough money to move back to Florida when their parents were killed.

  Lois couldn’t change schools, and their parents’ insurance basically paid for what was left of her tuition, so he couldn’t ask her to uproot herself and he didn’t want to leave her there alone.