Reconsider Me Read online

  “Me, Sir!”

  It easily rolled off his tongue.

  “I get too rough for you, call yellow immediately. Understood?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Hell, it’d taken three play sessions with Tom before he’d felt comfortable calling him Sir.

  With Joel, it was like…

  It was almost like it felt natural. The way it should be.

  Whoa, slow up there, kiddo. You just met him tonight.

  Didn’t change how Fen felt, though. He had a good feeling about Joel, about them.

  Like this time, maybe it really was different.

  He’d never had that particular feeling before. There was always doubt lingering in his mind, eventually proven correct one way or another.

  Joel dug his nails into Fen’s flesh along his thighs, his ass, his upper arms, pinching and playing, alternating with firm strokes that felt so damn great.

  And when Joel cupped his left hand around the back of Fen’s neck, Fen suspected what was coming next.

  The acrylic paddle was light and narrow and stung like a motherfucker. He hissed and gritted his teeth but didn’t cry out. He suspected the first several swats were Joel testing the waters, watching his reaction, because, seriously, Fen could spank his own ass harder than that.

  The next one landed hard, across the crack of his ass and getting parts of both cheeks. That one made him whimper.

  “Damn,” Joel muttered, then he went to town on Fen.

  Yep. Joel had definitely been holding back. He alternated swats with the paddle with bare-handed smacks, with hard pinches to the insides of his thighs.

  Then fingers gently stroked Fen’s sac, making him jump in startled surprise before he moaned and arched his back, trying to encourage him to do more.

  The man’s callused palm cradled Fen’s balls, lightly rolling them along his flesh. “By the way, I personally enjoy giving a blow job as much as I enjoy getting one.”

  Fen’s eyes fell closed and he tried to hump Joel’s thigh again.

  A hard, bare-handed smack landed on his ass, startling him. “Didn’t tell you you could do that, boy.”

  “Please, Sir,” Fen gasped, realizing he wasn’t heading for subspace, he was full-on deep inside it. “Please!”

  “Nope.” Joel chuckled. “I’d rather leave you thinking about the image of me having you tied up like this, except in the middle of my bed and on your back, with me taking my time licking and sucking your cock for a couple of hours.”

  Shhhhiiiit!

  Tom saved giving oral for special treats that had to be earned. He’d been pretty damned good at it, but it had always come at a price.

  The last time had triggered the final fight, where Tom had started talking in the middle of said blowjob, about wouldn’t it feel so much better if Fen also had a prostate massager toy up there while Tom was blowing him?

  First time Fen had ever put a stop to a blowjob.

  He’d gotten up, gotten dressed, and walked out while Tom—who hadn’t gotten off yet—tried to beg and plead with him to talk to him about it and listen to “reason.”

  Stop thinking about him!

  Right now, all he wanted to think about was Joel and his hunky, talented hands.

  Joel untied Fen’s legs but didn’t untie his torso yet, or move him off his lap. He did start switching out implements, though, including a fucking wicked cane that brought tears of pain to Fen’s eyes and drove out all conscious thoughts for…

  A while.

  When Fen could finally think again, he was untied and snuggled in Joel’s lap, facing him, resting against the man’s broad chest with the fleece throw draped over Fen’s back.

  Fuck.

  The good kind of fuck.

  Joel sat with one arm draped around Fen’s back, the other holding Fen’s head, fingers threaded through Fen’s hair. Fen looked up, staring into his eyes for a long, quiet moment.

  The club didn’t exist. They could be totally alone right now, for all he cared.

  Before he could stop himself, Fen reached up, hooked the back of Joel’s neck with his fingers, and pulled him down for a long, sweet, tender kiss.

  * * * *

  Joel knew he probably should have stopped Fen from kissing him, but dammit…he didn’t want to. And it wasn’t against the club’s rules, either. Kissing was allowed.

  He didn’t try to press his tongue into Fen’s mouth, although all he wanted to do was ravish him, tongue-fuck him and give him a preview of how hard he wanted to make love to the guy and possess every cell in his body.

  No anal? Fine, he didn’t fucking care. That had been the hottest scene he’d ever had in his life. Fen responded to his hands like the two of them were invisibly tethered to each other’s souls. And Fen had taken probably the hardest beating he’d ever given anyone, either, and begged for more.

  Beneath the man’s flesh, his smooth, lean, hard muscles had absorbed every impact and desired more. Fen’s clothes camouflaged a body that was far sturdier than he looked at first glance.

  Now he understood what Jake had meant about appearances being deceiving.

  Fen broke the kiss first, resting his forehead against Joel’s chin. “Does anyone want the mats, Sir?”

  “No one I’ve seen.” That was another thing—he hadn’t told Fen to call him Sir, but dammit, it sure as hell sounded right coming from him.

  “Okay. Can we stay here for a while, then? Just like this?”

  “Sure, baby. As long as you’d like.”

  Fen nuzzled in, now tucking his head under Joel’s chin. Joel wrapped both arms around him, more perfection. As if there’d always been a Fen-shaped void right there in front of him that he’d never recognized before.

  Until now, with the man in his arms.

  Dammit.

  Joel knew he’d need to keep his wits about him or he’d want to be taking this guy to bed tomorrow night.

  That’s a bad thing…why?

  In fact, Joel was going to ask Fen if he wanted to get together tomorrow for lunch or dinner to talk some more when Fen spoke up.

  “I’ve been told I make pretty good pork chops,” he said. “Would you mind coming over tomorrow for dinner?”

  “I’d love to, thanks,” Joel said before logic-brain could talk him out of it.

  Absolutely, he wanted to see more of the cutie.

  Fen tipped his head back, staring into his eyes again. “Maybe come over late afternoon. We can watch movies and talk.”

  Joel nodded.

  Fen reached up and palmed Joel’s cheek. “What are you, thirty-two, thirty-three? I can’t believe you’re thirty-eight.”

  Joel smirked. “I’m thirty-eight.”

  “Really? You don’t look that old.”

  “Sunscreen. Every damn day I have to be out working.”

  “What do you do?”

  “Boat mechanic.”

  Normally, he would never tell that much about himself that soon, but…

  Something about the guy.

  Something…sweet and deep and hard and sexy and…

  Mine.

  “I’m an engineer,” Fen said. “I’m twenty-six.”

  “And you look like you’re about twenty-one.”

  Fen smiled. “Good thing I’m not a drinker. I’d be getting carded all the time, seriously.”

  “Can I ask why? Why you’re not a drinker, I mean?”

  “Sure. I’ll warn you now, I’m a cheap date when it comes to booze. One bottle of beer or glass of wine will literally knock me out. I can’t even tolerate coffee, because it turns me into the Flash.” He hesitated. “As opposed to a flasher, which if I was the Flash would be totally useless, because who’d see me flashing? I’d be moving too fast.”

  Joel smiled, enchanted by this guy. He was unlike any other man he’d ever dated or played with before. Fricking adorable. “Not a big drinker myself. A beer every so often, or wine coolers.”

  Fen sat up, facing him, straddling him, his legs wrapped around
Joel’s waist.

  Like this, it’d be super easy to imagine them both naked, fisting their cocks together and stroking…

  Fen draped his arms over Joel’s shoulders, the fleece throw sliding down his back and puddling around his waist. Joel’s hands cupped Fen’s ass, squeezing, and he enjoyed the way it made Fen smile.

  “I suppose you want a detailed explanation about my hard limit.”

  Joel shrugged. “Only if or when you want to tell me. If you’d said it was something you wanted to work on getting past, then I’d want to know as much as I can. It’s not, so it really doesn’t matter why. All that matters to me is that I will never violate it.”

  He didn’t miss that Fen’s eyes suddenly looked a little too bright, and he blinked quickly. “Okay,” he quietly said. “Thank you. Maybe in private. I’d rather not here.”

  Joel stroked Fen’s cheek. His flesh felt soft, smooth, and the guy smelled great, too. Like a fruit salad, strawberries and oranges and something else delicious. “Only if you want to.”

  “I—” He took a deep breath. “Where would you like this to go? Between us?”

  “I’m not going to propose to you tonight, but I don’t do hook-ups or friends with bennies. I’d like a long-term, stable, hopefully permanent relationship. But I’m not going to pressure you for anything except two things right now. One, you do not lie. Period. I’d rather you be brutally honest with me than try to dance around stuff. And two, which dovetails with one, do not cheat on me. If we’re going to try to see what happens between us, then it’s only the two of us. I promise you those two things in return, along with three, not breaking your hard limits. Any of your hard limits, but especially that big one.”

  Fen leaned in again. Joel thought for another kiss, but Fen touched his forehead to Joel’s and closed his eyes. “I’m kinda…weird.”

  “Weird how?”

  “I tick a lot of the stereotypical gay guy boxes. But I love essential oils, I love spending time babysitting my little niece, and I think I might have a ghost in my apartment.”

  “A ghost?”

  “I mean, something strange. But I’m gainfully employed. I pay my own way. I put myself through college and I have a job. I’m saving for my retirement already. I don’t like to cruise bars or dance clubs.”

  “So how are you weird?”

  Now Fen played with the top buttons on Joel’s shirt, fingering them, foreheads still touching. “I don’t do anal,” he quietly said.

  He gently grasped Fen’s head in his hands and made Fen look him in the eyes. “Last time I’m going to say this—I don’t care about that. One of my quirks is I don’t like to repeat myself a hundred times. I know trust has to be built. I don’t blame you for not trusting me yet, and I don’t hold it against you. But are you sure you’re ready to be alone with me tomorrow? We can go out to eat or see a movie or something.”

  Fen swallowed hard. “I’m tired of always having to be on guard.”

  “I’m sure you are.”

  His eyes searched Joel’s face. “What if I want to do safe calls tomorrow with Jake and Ben?”

  “I’m fine with that. I’m glad you’re cautious. If you want to put them on Skype where they can watch us, I’m fine with that. Or invite them over, too.”

  Fen stared at him for a long moment. “My dad’s a detective with the sheriff’s office.”

  Joel laughed. He couldn’t help it, the comment came from left field. “Is that a threat, or a warning?”

  “No, I mean…it’s why I’m weird, too. Dad taught me to be careful. My parents will want to meet you if we start dating. They won’t give me any peace if I don’t.”

  “Okay. I can’t introduce you to mine. They’re in Alabama and disowned me when my ex outed me.” He slid his hands down to Fen’s shoulders and gently squeezed. “So I have a few issues of my own.”

  “Yikes. I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah. I had to leave Mobile and move because I lost my job, everything. Guy went seriously nuts when I broke up with him after finding out the truth about him. So he ruined my life there. I had to start over.”

  Fen held his hand out. Amused, Joel took it.

  This time when Fen shook with him, it felt firm, strong. Far stronger than he looked.

  “Hi. Fenton White. I’m an engineer, twenty-six, Sarasota native, one older brother, and really overprotective parents.”

  “Joel Burch. Thirty-eight, boat mechanic. Displaced from Alabama, but I kind of like Florida better. Been here eight years now. And you want to talk overprotective? You haven’t met the people in my condo building yet.”

  “Huh?”

  He smiled. “Let’s just say I hope you like banana nut bread.”

  Chapter Eight

  Joel didn’t make Fen get dressed. In fact, Fen got the impression Joel was more than okay looking at his naked body.

  That definitely didn’t hurt Fen’s feelings.

  Good, let him get hungry for the merchandise.

  It was only after Fen realized they’d been sitting there for nearly three hours total that he finally sat back and stared into Joel’s eyes.

  “Guess we should go see how everyone’s doing.”

  “I guess so.”

  He didn’t want to move, and Fen knew that was a dangerous thing, to feel this hung up on a guy this soon.

  Except…Joel felt different than any other guy Fen had played with or dated in the past.

  Maybe that was naiveté on his part, and he’d admit to it, but there he was.

  Or maybe the Frightful Five are frightfully good.

  He hoped.

  Finally, Fen started getting dressed while Joel picked up his implements and coiled his rope. Then Joel stood and waited for Fen, bag in hand, reaching his hand out for Fen’s.

  Touched, Fen took it and let Joel lead him back to the social area.

  Ben and Jake were sitting at a table and talking to Keith, who was standing and keeping an eye on play happening on that side.

  “Well?” the three men asked together.

  Fen laughed, glancing up at Joel. “That was a lot of fun.” He stretched his head from one side to the other, hearing a few pops. “And I think I’ll be feeling it tomorrow, too.”

  Joel smiled. “You’re welcome.”

  They sat to talk for a little while. Fen would sit and talk to Joel all night, if he could.

  Except then Joel let out a huge yawn.

  “Sorry. I’ve got a big job at work this week. Went in this morning for several hours to get ahead of it. Kind of wiped out.”

  Fen bit back the urge to ask Joel if he could follow him back to his place for the night.

  That was not the kind of guy he was or wanted to be.

  Don’t lose my brains.

  He hadn’t even felt this eager about Tom, and he’d thought Tom was fucking great.

  Until he wasn’t.

  Ah, case in point.

  Joel smiled at him. “Want to walk me out to my car so we can exchange phone numbers and addresses and stuff?”

  Fen eagerly nodded. “Yeah. What time tomorrow?”

  “What time would you like me there? And can I bring anything?”

  Fen fought the urge to ask Joel to follow him home. “Is four okay? Or is that too early?”

  “That sounds great.”

  “And maybe a dessert or something.”

  “Deal.”

  Joel stood and shook hands with everyone. Fen suspected he’d be interrogated when he returned, and he didn’t care.

  Outside, at Joel’s car, he put the toybag in the trunk before pulling out his phone. With numbers exchanged, Fen was loath to let the man go.

  He stepped in to hug Joel, closing his eyes and inhaling. Didn’t smell bad at all. He’d smell a lot better if he wasn’t using cheap-ass generic products, but that was okay. He’d find something perfect for Joel and keep him supplied with it.

  “Thank you for tonight,” Fen said, still unwilling to let him go just yet. “That was great.�
� He belatedly realized he still felt more than a little subspacey—another first. Usually once he came up, he was fully up, and that was that.

  “My pleasure. I enjoyed it. I hope we can do it again soon. Maybe next Saturday?”

  “Sure! I—oh, I can’t. Darn.”

  “Busy?”

  Fen looked up. “Yeah. I promised my brother and sister-in-law I’d babysit my niece all night.” He had an idea. “Hey, you could come over. Movie night and dinner. We can consider her a chaperone.”

  “Might need her to be one,” Joel said. “I’m going to have a hard enough time keeping my hands off you tomorrow night.”

  “Who says I want you to?”

  Joel smiled and finally ended their embrace. “Patience, baby.” He leaned in for one final kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Casual dress, I take it?”

  “Yeah, shorts and a T-shirt.” Or less.

  “See you then.”

  Fen waited until Joel had driven off to return to the club. Jake, Ben, and Keith were all waiting for him in the office.

  “Well?” they asked in unison.

  He rolled his eyes but engulfed all three of them in a group hug. “I fuckin’ love you guys!”

  * * * *

  Joel couldn’t remember the last time his mood had felt so…light. He’d had a blast playing with Fen and hoped the guy wouldn’t wake up the next morning hating him for how hard he went on him.

  He got the distinct feeling he could have gone even harder on him and Fen still would have loved every minute of it.

  Leaving his bag in the trunk when he reached his building, he headed up to his condo and wasted no time rubbing one out in bed.

  As he lay there catching his breath, he thought about Fen, his sweet brown eyes, how perfect Fen’s body had felt against his. Incredibly, his cock started swelling again.

  Not bad for a guy near forty.

  For the second one he took his time, fantasizing about all the things he’d love to do to and with Fen. It was only as he finally exploded that he realized in his fantasies, he hadn’t included anal.